by K. Aten
“Where did you go?”
Jamie was startled when Kelsey’s hand touched the back of her own. “I, uh, I was just thinking about something.” She looked up to meet Kelsey’s interesting dark green eyes. “And you’re right. I, um, taught myself to be an extrovert. I learned how to be social with people that I don’t know.”
Kelsey knew there was more to her friend’s words and to her silence but she sensed that it was not the right time to push her for more information. But she was even surer of her initial assessment months before when she thought that Jamie had been hurt in the past. She squeezed the hand below hers. “Hey, I get it. Really. I think we’ve all changed, or been changed, by the people and events in our lives. We make mistakes, and if we’re smart enough we learn from them.” She chuckled.
Glad for the shift in mood, Jamie looked back at her curiously. More than once she had wondered why her friend was single. “And what mistakes have you made?”
Kelsey took a few seconds to decide how she wanted to answer. She could go with something generic, or she could share a little of her inner self with Jamie in response to the vulnerability she could sense in the other woman. “I learned that just because you live with someone and they tell you they love you, it doesn’t mean they aren’t cheating with one of your close friends.”
Jamie made a pained face. “Ouch! I’m sorry Kels, that’s a pretty shitty thing to go through.” She looked at her friend and a thought popped into her head. “Is that why you decided to move to St. Seren?”
It was near 8:00 p.m. and her cocoa was almost gone but Kelsey didn’t want their time to end. She answered honestly because it wasn’t in her DNA not to. “It was part of the reason. I didn’t have to move, the apartment was in my name. I stayed there another six months after I kicked her out, then decided I needed a change of scenery. The area I lived in was okay enough but it wasn’t very diverse. It was also heavily conservative and I’d always wanted to live closer to St. Seren, so here I am. And even though I hate the complex I’m in right now, my lease is up at the end of December so maybe I’ll find something better when it’s closer to that time. I can always pay month to month after that, it’s just more expensive.” She shrugged. “But I really love the city. I have a few friends that live here and it seems pretty easy to make more.” She gave her new friend a genuine smile.
Jamie smiled back at her, already considering Kelsey a good friend too. She shook her head and decided to change the subject back to the original one. “I still can’t believe that you don’t cook!”
Kelsey snorted. “Why, because I’m all femme looking and all femmes like to cook?”
The blonde gave her a strange look. “Uh, no. It’s because you’re always talking about how close to your family you are and you just have this protective, nurturing vibe about you. It has nothing to do with how you look. I hate stereotypes.” She waves toward herself. “I mean, look at me. Everyone thinks I’m some big bad butch, a real baddass. Would you think that?”
The Irish-Latina who had hated stereotypes her entire life peered at the woman across the table. “Having gotten to know you? Not at all.”
“But what if you didn’t know me? What would you think?”
Kelsey smiled. “You mean like when I first saw you? At first glance I thought you were a hot andro who was probably all full of typical butch attitude, at least until I changed your tire while you discretely kept wiping dirt off your manicured fingers.”
Jamie’s ears turned red at having been caught by her friend. “Yeah, you got me there. I’m a total prissy pants and I hate getting my hands dirty.”
“Really? But what about your job? I’m assuming you don’t sit at a desk all day. You mentioned putting manufacturing lines together and setting up sensors and things. I would think you’d get dirty doing that.”
The grin on Jamie’s face was full of smug accomplishment. “It’s called gloves. I can do anything while wearing gloves!”
Kelsey couldn’t resist teasing her, and dropped her voice down into that sexy register and gave the blonde a once over with her eyes. “Anything, James?”
“Oh my God! You did not just say that to me!” Kelsey was too busy laughing to answer her but she took pleasure in making Jamie blush. “No, seriously though, I feel a little like we are kindred spirits here. I’ve struggled my entire life not to be defined by my upbringing, or by how I look. I am who I am and I won’t apologize for it.”
To Kelsey, it almost seemed as if she left the statement open. As if the word “anymore” should have been there but was just another thing that Jamie kept inside. But she knew what the other woman was trying to say. “Yeah, I know what you mean. People expect me to act a certain way, to dress a certain way but I’m just me, you know? I mean, I came from a mixed-culture home where my very strong-willed and feisty Irish born mother wore the pants in the family. She was definitely the dominant one and strangely enough my Mexican father was just this sweet supportive guy. He wasn’t all bravado and swagger like people associate with Hispanic men. And when people look at me, they expect all that Latin attitude in a femme package. I don’t even speak Spanish!”
Jamie started laughing. “Even I speak Spanish, Kels! I’m surprised your dad didn’t try to teach you.”
“Oh, he tried and I even took it in high school. But none in college. I’m afraid the only Spanish I know now is stuff that I’ve picked up around my dad’s shop. And most of its not fit to be repeated, if you know what I mean.” She wiggled her eyebrows which only set Jamie off into laughter again.
“You’re hilarious!”
Kelsey just smiled and shrugged at her. “What about you? You look butch and you like fast cars. Yet you also like to cook and you get manicures, what else? Tell me something about you that no one else knows.”
She got a raised eyebrow for her demands. “I have surprisingly few secrets. Hmm, let’s see, I blow my nose in the shower.”
Kelsey rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t everyone? Try again.”
Jamie looked deep in thought then held up a finger. “I have hair on my big toe!”
“Seriously? Are you even trying here? I’m half-Irish and half-Mexican, I know about hair on the big toe.”
Finally Jamie sighed in defeat. “I write poetry.”
The Irish-Latina looked back at her in surprise. “Wow, now we’re getting somewhere. Have you always written poetry?”
Jamie nodded. “Yeah, probably since I was ten or eleven.”
“And you’ve kept it all, haven’t you?”
“How did you know that?” Jamie’s eyes were wide with how perceptive Kelsey was.
Kelsey shrugged. “I don’t know, you just seem like someone who holds onto things that matter most. And poetry, well poetry is more than just a person’s thoughts. Sometimes it’s their heart and soul on the page.”
Jamie was continuously amazed at the depth and awareness of her new friend. “You sound like someone who has written a little poetry.”
“Eh, I went through a phase in high school. Right about the time I realized I was gay and came out to my parents.” Kelsey made a face and Jamie returned it with a look of sympathy.
“Ooh, that sounds like a rough kinda phase. I’m assuming it all turned out okay, right? You’re still close with your parents, from all that you’ve told me.”
Kelsey’s lone dimple was obvious with her big grin. It told clearly of the level of love she felt for her parents. “They were great actually. My family had always been pretty liberal and open-minded. They just said that they kind of suspected it and told me that it didn’t matter to them as long as I was happy. And while my extended family in Texas is a little more typical, I have a few gay cousins so we’ve all just been kind of accepted for who we are.”
Jamie reached over and gave her hand a squeeze where it rested next to the empty cocoa mug. “That’s really great, Kels. It’s wonderful that you have that kind of love and support.”
Kelsey looked back at her curiously. “What about y
ou? Was your coming out hard? How old were you?”
“You could say that, and I was twenty-four.”
“You were twenty-four when you finally came out? Whoa!” She sat back in her seat, more than shocked at her friend’s age. But the shock was nothing compared to what she felt with Jamie’s next words.
“I was twenty-four when I realized I was gay. I had been married for five years at that point.”
Kelsey’s jaw dropped open. “Holy shit!”
Jamie nodded. “Holy shit.”
“Oh my God.”
Jamie snickered. “Yeah, I said that too. It kind of threw me for a loop when I realized that I liked women. It also clicked on the light bulb above my head and everything in my life until that point suddenly made sense. It was an eye-opener, let me tell you.”
Poor Kelsey still looked a bit shell-shocked. “What did you do?”
“In order?” Kelsey nodded yes so Jamie ticked the items off on her fingers. “I got a divorce, said goodbye to my pets, went to college, then quit my job and moved two hours away to a more liberal city.”
The other woman held up her hands. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down there, nerd. You said goodbye to your pets? Why?”
Sadness washed over Jamie’s face. “When I left my ex, he kept the house and I moved into an apartment where I couldn’t have pets. The cats were happy at the house and I knew he’d take good care of them.”
“Did you miss them?”
Jamie smirked. “A hell of a lot more than I missed my ex.”
Kelsey nodded with understanding. “And that was what?” She did the math in her head, remembering the age Jamie had told her. “Ten years ago? You live in a condo now, why haven’t you ever gotten another cat or something?” Kelsey grew alarmed as the blonde shut down right in front of her eyes. “What’s the matter? Did I say something wrong?”
Jamie shook her head and took a few seconds to speak. “No, sorry. I had two cats with my ex after him, my first girlfriend. She kept them when I left.” She glanced down at her smart watch and saw that it was already after 8:30. “Listen Kelsey, it’s getting close to their closing time and I have a few more things to do at home. We should probably head out.” She stood and started to clean up her dishes but was stopped by a firm hand on her wrist. When Jamie looked up she was caught in the understanding gaze of her friend.
“Hey, it’s okay. We don’t have to talk about that if you don’t want. We all have those sensitive subjects, I get it. But don’t shut me out, just tell me you can’t talk about something if it comes up. Okay?”
After close to ten seconds of them staring into the other’s eyes, Jamie nodded. “I won’t shut you out, I promise. But we really should get going.”
Kelsey checked the time on her cell phone and made a face. “Oh jeez, I didn’t realize it was so late. Yeah, Newman and Pierre will be all discombobulated that I haven’t spent time with them tonight.”
“Are they worried that you’ll get behind on your knitting schedule?” Jamie laughed and Kelsey swatted her on the arm.
“You’re a regular comedian, aren’t you?”
Jamie grinned. “I try.”
“Yeah, well try harder.” Both women cracked up laughing but managed to get everything cleaned up and dumped in the right bins in only a few minutes. After donning their jackets, they made their way out the front door of the coffee shop. But before Kelsey could walk away, Jamie pulled her to a stop and held out her right hand palm up. She suddenly remembered that she’d never messaged her phone number to Kelsey before their meetup.
“Give me your cell phone.”
She got a raised eyebrow from Kelsey but the other woman lifted her hoodie and slid the cell out of her back pocket. Jamie made an obvious show of appreciating the view and Kelsey just rolled her eyes as she set the phone in Jamie’s hand. The engineer went into Kelsey’s contacts and programmed her own number into the phone, then handed it back. “There you go, now you can talk to me whenever you like.”
Kelsey snorted. “Does that actually work for you?”
Jamie nodded. “All the time. Or at least it used to.”
“Used to?”
Jamie shrugged and her response was more than a little cryptic. “I’ve changed my street and I haven’t been giving out my phone number lately.” When Kelsey shot her a confused look she elaborated. “I find myself wanting to be a better me.” Then before Kelsey could ask any more questions Jamie gave her a wink and pulled her into another hug. “Thanks for meeting and for the good conversation. I’ll talk to you tomorrow morning, right?”
When they pulled apart, Kelsey smiled at her showing that lone dimple clearly in the streetlight. “Absolutely.” Then she turned and headed down the street toward her car.
Jamie loved dimples and she knew that she was totally infatuated with her new friend. As she turned to head for her own car her thoughts whirled a mile a minute. But one word tumbled toward the front more than all the rest. “Damn.”
That evening in her apartment, Kelsey sat on the couch in her pajamas, knitting and talking to her cats. “I really like her, Newman. She’s funny, she’s gorgeous, and she seems like good people. But damn, someone sure did a number on her! I thought my ex was bad, Jamie’s must have been a psycho bitch from hell!” Newman chirruped at her as Pierre tumbled off the couch with her skein of yarn. “You little asshole!” She quickly grabbed the water bottle to chase him away, then leaned over and snatched the yarn off the floor before he could come back and grab it again. She grimaced at its slightly damp feel. She called out to the bathroom where she saw him run. “You’re such a dick, Pierre!” Needles started going again and she addressed the better behaved cat. “And can you believe that she’s been married?”
“Mrow.”
The cat was simply answering to her tone and inflection, not because he actually understood what she was saying. He was only a cat after all. She shook her head. “I just don’t see it. She’s so, so, gay!” She paused as another thought came to mind, then made a face. “I suppose that means she’s not a gold star either. Not that it matters to me.” She stopped her knitting then. After that she stopped her words and consciously stopped her train of thought. “It doesn’t matter because Jamie is my friend, nothing more! You hear that brain? That handsome andro girl is completely off limits!” The problem wasn’t totally with her brain though, at least half of it was her libido. Kelsey sighed, remembering that she never did replace her dead batteries.
Looking at the clock on the wall, she decided to call it a night and packed everything back into its basket. She stood to set it under the end table when Pierre came tearing through the living room, knocking the video game remote off the coffee table. She snatched the remote off the floor and went to yell at the rambunctious cat but stopped before a single word could come out. She flipped the remote over and read the words on the battery cover. “Two AA batteries. Hmm, that sounds perfect.” She quickly removed the batteries and shut off the living room lamp, then made her way down the hall toward her bedroom. She called out to the naughty cat as she was walking into the bedroom. “Good boy, Pierre! Mama loves you!”
Chapter Nine
JAMIE AND KELSEY’S friendship really started to deepen after meeting in the coffee shop. Over the next month they met every Wednesday for drinks and sandwiches at The Scalded Crow, each one learning more about the other. They continued to chat during their morning commute. They also texted and teased each other mercilessly. After four weeks of such meetings and conversations they both felt pretty confident that they had made a great friend. On a sunny Thursday morning the highway rolled clear for the little blue car. Thursdays usually weren’t too busy in the morning and Fridays were a dream. In the morning at least. Friday after work was a nightmare on a good day, let alone if weather was bad.
Jamie had her stereo cranked up and sang along to the chorus of The Pierces song “How Can I Love You More.” She loved the tune and couldn’t resist belting it out every time it came on. She was surprise
d that Kelsey wasn’t logged into the app when she hit the road since the other woman usually left fifteen minutes earlier. The last time Kelsey didn’t show up online was the morning after their first coffee house meeting. At the time she thought that Kelsey may have been put off to find out that Jamie had been married. Some women were like that. Then she remembered that Kelsey wasn’t interested in anything other than friendship, just like Jamie. It turned out that Kelsey had simply forgotten to set her alarm the night before.
The engineer signaled and got back into the middle lane as traffic started to pick up near the nexus of the universe. She still hadn’t heard anything from her car buddy by the time she pulled into the parking lot and seriously started to think that Kelsey had overslept or had car trouble. About a half hour after she began work her cell phone vibrated from where it sat on its wireless charger. She picked it up and smiled when she saw who the text was from.
Hey there, sorry I missed you this morning!
She texted back.
Alarm?
The phone vibrated in her hand.
Yeah. Forgot to set alarm last night & over slept. Again.
Jamie looked at the message curiously then typed back.
Didn’t ask last time but I don’t understand how you can forget to set your alarm. Don’t you use your cell?
Um, no. Does that work better?
The engineer read the text and immediately thumped her forehead onto the heel of her hand. Then she brought up her alarm app and took a screen shot and sent it to her friend.
The app lets you customize individual days and times, as well as snooze functions, alarm sound and volume. You should look into it.
I’m always afraid my phone will die overnight if I forget to plug it in.
Jamie made a face and wrote back.