The Best of Intentions

by Susan Anne Mason

  “I’m terribly sorry, Andrew.” Tears welled in her eyes, magnifying the amber flecks within. “I never intended to ruin your wedding. I didn’t plan much further than getting Christian away from Cecilia.” She looked up. “Can you reschedule the ceremony for another day?”

  Andrew squeezed his hands into fists. “In light of Cecilia’s reaction to Christian’s disappearance, I’ve come to realize that marrying her would not be in his best interest.” He hated to admit that Grace had been right about his fiancée when the raw wound of Grace’s treachery still gaped in his chest.

  “How could you?” he hissed. “How could you take Christian from us like that? You knew that losing him would devastate me. Not to mention my mother. I thought we were—” He clamped his mouth shut before he said too much.

  Grace’s frame stiffened. “I thought we were too, Andrew, yet you chose to cut me out of Christian’s life for no reason other than Cecilia demanded it. How fair was that?”

  Andrew closed his eyes, her words striking hard at the core of his guilt. He had been unfair to her, letting her go not only to please Cecilia, but because it would be easier for him not to have Grace under his roof. “I guess we both made mistakes,” he conceded. “But at least I didn’t break the law.”

  “I’m sorry,” she repeated. “Sorry my impulsiveness caused you and your family pain. I only wanted to place Christian in my mother’s arms so she could meet her grandson before she died.” She paused to dash tears from her lashes. “I hoped it might make up for losing Peter, Owen, and Rose.”

  He stared at her, steeling himself against a wave of compassion before he did something ridiculous like take her in his arms and comfort her.

  A bird landed on a branch behind Grace, its cheerful twitter seeming to mock their pain.

  “I hope that one day you might be able to forgive me, and perhaps . . .” She lifted tear-filled eyes to his. “Let me visit my nephew.”

  Heat flared in his chest. “You must be joking.”

  A flash of pain crossed her features. “I wouldn’t need to be alone with him. Someone else could be present at all times.”

  He shook his head. “I doubt my father will ever let you set foot in the house again.”

  She took a shuddering breath. “If you change your mind, I’ll be at the boardinghouse. I’ll be staying there until I decide what to do.”

  “You aren’t heading back to England?” His traitorous heart thudded, awaiting her reply. He told himself he needed to know in case they decided to press charges.

  “I’m not sure. Without a job, I don’t know what I’ll do.” Lines bracketed her mouth, sorrow seeming to weigh her shoulders down.

  Andrew suppressed an oath. He’d been so busy counting his own misfortunes, he hadn’t considered hers. In fairness, she’d suffered as much as he. She’d lost her sister, and Christian, and now her job. The only tenuous connections she had in Toronto were her former landlady and her minister. At least he had his family, a beautiful home, and, though he’d lost out on the promotion, he was fairly sure he could still have his old job if he chose to take it back.

  And now he had Christian, which was all that really mattered. He made an effort to relax his shoulders and soften his expression. “Despite everything, I do appreciate you bringing him back. Not only for my sake, but my mother’s. I know it couldn’t have been easy, so . . . thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” She stared at him for a long moment. Then her gaze darted toward the house. “I should go. I’ve kept Reverend Burke waiting too long as it is.”

  Unable to find the appropriate words, he gave a stiff nod.

  “Good-bye, Andrew.” The wind blew tendrils of hair across her face as she turned away.

  He watched until she disappeared from view, then sank onto the stone ledge of the fountain and closed his eyes. All the anger drained from him, leaving him limp and exhausted. Though he tried hard to hold on to his outrage, he couldn’t seem to hate her for what she’d done.

  If only he could, he might be able to forget how much he loved her.

  CHAPTER 39

  Virginia paused at the foot of Fairlawn’s iron gates. Had it only been a few weeks since she’d left her home, sneaking out in the predawn hours to marry Collin? It felt far longer.

  A hundred emotions coursed through her, making her head spin. She still couldn’t believe Drew hadn’t gone through with the wedding. This morning, determined to see her brother get married, Virginia had waited across the street from the cathedral, planning to slip in the back of the church once the ceremony began. Instead, she’d been privy to Drew’s odd comings and goings. Once he left the church for good—without his bride—she’d sent Collin over to casually ask some of the guests what had happened. They’d explained the necessity to postpone the wedding due to a possible kidnapping by the nanny. Virginia had been shocked by the news, and knowing her family would be devastated, she came to support them, whether she was welcome or not.

  A tiny sliver of guilt surfaced that she might have an ulterior motive, hoping that in the midst of their distress, her parents might be more willing to forgive her.

  She was desperate enough to try.

  A familiar hand touched her shoulder. “Are you sure you want to do this, sweetheart?”

  “I’m sure.” She brought her husband’s hand to her cheek. “No matter what happens, at least we’ll know where we stand.”

  Collin entwined his fingers with hers. “Let’s go then. But know that I’m going in with you. I’ll not let you face them alone.”

  Collin’s fierce frown dragged a smile from her. She adored his protectiveness. It was one of the many facets of his love she’d come to cherish. “Very well. I only hope there’s been news of Christian. I still can’t believe Grace took him. I never thought her capable of such a thing.” Virginia knew Grace’s connection to the baby, and that she had feelings for Andrew. Even so, kidnapping Christian seemed a bit extreme.

  “I can’t pretend to understand it,” Collin said. “One thing I’m sure of, however, is that she loves that child.”

  At the front door, Virginia hesitated for a second, then turned the handle and went inside. She would not knock on her own door. Not until she’d been formally banned from her home. Her stomach swooped with a case of wild nerves. What would Daddy say when he saw them?

  The familiar smell of her father’s pipe tobacco mingled with Mother’s perfume, and a pang of homesickness knotted her chest. She prayed Daddy would be open to accepting her marriage. But no matter what, she would never regret following her heart.

  The sound of soft voices drifted into the hall.

  With Collin on her heels, she crossed to the parlor, took a deep breath, and entered.

  She had a vague impression of her father standing by the window, her mother in her usual chair by the hearth, and Andrew holding—

  “He’s back!” Virginia flew over and enveloped her brother and nephew in a hug. Then she rained kisses on Christian’s cheeks. “What happened? Where did you find him?”

  Andrew gave a tight smile, though his eyes remained haunted. “Grace brought him back about an hour ago.”

  “Thank the Lord.” She blinked hard to keep the tears from forming. “But why did she take him in the first place?”

  “It’s a long story. All that matters is that he’s back where he belongs.”

  Virginia stroked Christian’s back. She couldn’t seem to stop touching him, to ensure he was real. “Where is Grace now?”

  Andrew’s features hardened. “Gone.” His tone brooked no argument, but his eyes remained shadowed in pain.

  “Drew—”

  “If you’ll excuse me, I need to take Christian upstairs.” He gave her a pointed look and a subtle nod toward their father. “I’ll talk to you later if you’re still here.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek. “It’s good to see you, Gin. Collin.” He glanced at her husband before leaving the room.

  Virginia longed to follow him, to pepper him with questio
ns about the status of his relationship with Cecilia. But first she needed to face her parents and try to make amends.

  She turned to look at her father. He’d come to stand behind her mother’s chair, his expression serious.

  “Daddy, may we speak with you and Mother?”

  “I don’t see what there is to say. You humiliated us as well as the Flemings.”

  “Sir, if you’d allow me, I’d like to apologize.” Collin, who had been standing quietly beside her, moved forward. “When Virginia came to me that night, I wanted to wait and speak to you, man to man.”

  Virginia took his arm. “And I told Collin you’d never listen. That you’d find a way to prevent us from being together.”

  “The only reason I finally agreed to the elopement,” Collin continued, “other than the fact that I love Virginia more than life itself, is that she was going to leave, with or without me. I couldn’t bear the thought of her out there alone. So, faced with an impossible choice, I took the path that would ensure her safety and her happiness.” Collin stood tall and strong, but not imposing.

  Her father’s eyes narrowed. “Perhaps we should have that man-to-man talk. Let’s adjourn to the library.”

  Virginia grabbed her father’s arm. “Daddy, please don’t—”

  He gave her a sharp look. “Don’t what?”

  “Just . . . be nice.”

  “When am I ever nice?”

  “There’s always a first time.”

  The slight twitch to his lips gave Virginia hope that he might be in a more receptive mood.

  “I suspect you ladies have a lot to catch up on,” Daddy said. “We’ll be back shortly.”

  Collin gave her a quick kiss, then followed her father out the door.

  “Oh, Mama.” Virginia went to her mother, who stood up to envelop her in a tight hug. Virginia inhaled her familiar scent and melted into her embrace. “I hope you can forgive me for eloping. At the time, I couldn’t see any other way.”

  “Of course I forgive you.” Her mother pulled back to lay a hand on her cheek. “I’m only sorry you couldn’t tell us how you really felt.”

  “I thought I could marry Basil, I really did. But the longer our courtship went on, the more I realized he wasn’t the man for me. And when Collin said he was going back to Scotland, I couldn’t let him go.”

  Her mother looked her in the eye. “Does he make you happy, Virginia?”

  “Oh yes.” She couldn’t stop the smile that spread over her face. “He’s thoughtful and kind and very protective. He does whatever he can to please me.”

  “Then that’s what’s important.” Her mother’s brow creased. “But how is he supporting you? I’ve been so worried about where you’re living.”

  “Right now we’ve rented a room in town, but as soon as Collin finds work, we’ll get a better place.”

  “I’ll speak to your father. Have him give Collin his job back.” From the determined set to her mother’s chin, Virginia knew she’d do it.

  She shook her head. “Thank you, Mama, but I don’t know if Collin’s pride would allow him to accept, even if Daddy did change his mind.”

  Her mother led her to the sofa, and they both sat down. She took Virginia’s hand in hers. “Listen to me. Losing Christian even for such a short time has had a profound effect on your father. It was almost like losing Frank all over again, and reliving that pain has made him realize what’s truly important—though he might never admit it to anyone but me.” She smiled. “Now that Christian is back, it wouldn’t surprise me if he views things in a much different light.”

  “Oh, Mama. I hope you’re right.” Virginia lifted a silent prayer that the Lord might soften her father’s heart and allow him to finally accept his children as they were—the good with the bad—and value them still.

  If so, then maybe they could truly be a family again.

  CHAPTER 40

  April 14, 1919

  Dearest Grace,

  You’re coming at last! You don’t know how happy I am! Mrs. Gardiner has assured me you’re welcome to stay here until we find a place of our own. I know once you’re here, I’ll finally feel whole again. Able to regain my strength and become the woman God meant me to be. Safe travels until we meet again. . . .

  One week after leaving Fairlawn for the last time, Grace pushed the supply cart down the aisle of Holy Trinity Church, its wheels rattling over the wooden floors. The comforting scent of flowers and candle wax washed over her. When Reverend Burke had learned that she wanted to stay on in Toronto for a while, he’d been kind enough to give her part-time hours cleaning the church and the rectory until she could find a permanent job.

  She paused to gaze up at the stained-glass windows, her focus resting on the one with Mary holding baby Jesus.

  This was the time of day Grace would have taken Christian on his daily outing to the park. Where she would sit with him on the swings and play with him in the grass. Her heart ached with missing the boy—and with missing Andrew.

  The utter disillusionment in Andrew’s eyes that night by the fountain still haunted her. The only positive outcome from the whole fiasco was that Cecilia Carmichael was now out of Christian’s life for good. It seemed Andrew had finally realized the woman was not right for them. Unfortunately, that realization had come too late for Grace, but at least she had the comfort of knowing Andrew would always take good care of her nephew.

  Her thoughts turned to her mother and the unfinished letter that lay on the desk in the boardinghouse. Each time she started writing, she couldn’t find the words to explain why she wouldn’t be bringing Christian home. That he would be staying in Toronto, and she’d likely never get to meet her only grandson.

  Once again, Grace had failed her mother.

  Another reason why she was in no rush to return home.

  With a sigh, she pulled the cloth from the cart and began to polish the wooden pews. Focusing on her task of making the Lord’s house shine was the only way she could free her mind from regrets and recriminations, and in some small way allowed her to feel like she was giving back for the grace and mercy she’d received.

  When she was about halfway through, she looked up to see Reverend Burke coming toward her, with Mrs. Chamberlain following close behind. Grace slowly straightened, a chill of foreboding running up her spine. From the grim look on their faces, it appeared they had unpleasant news.

  She wiped her hands on her apron and went to meet them. “What is it? Something’s wrong, I can tell.”

  Mrs. Chamberlain pulled a piece of paper from her handbag. “This telegram just arrived for you, dear. Ian Miller delivered it himself. I figured it must be important, so I came right over.”

  Grace froze. Telegrams usually meant bad news. Her hands shook so hard, she stuffed them in her apron pocket. “C-Could you read it for me please, Mrs. C.?”

  “Are you sure, dear?”

  She nodded.

  “All right then.” She opened the envelope and unfolded the paper within. “Your mother has taken a turn for the worse. STOP. You need to come home ASAP. STOP. Violet.”

  Grace gripped the back of a pew. Mum must be on her deathbed for Aunt Vi to spend money on a telegram. The words of her mother’s last letter sprang to mind, infusing her with fresh guilt. Don’t wait too long like you did with Rose. I may not be here when you return. If only Grace could bring Christian home with her. Seeing her grandson might give Mum the incentive to get well. Without him, she had little left to live for.

  Mrs. C. came forward to embrace her. “I’m so sorry, Grace. Is there anything we can do to help?”

  Tears stung the back of Grace’s eyes, but she held them back with stubborn determination. “Not really. Except I’ll need to book my passage home to England.” As the words left her mouth, a pang of sorrow squeezed her chest. Leaving Toronto meant severing her last ties with Christian—and with Andrew. She’d likely never see either one of them again. She bit down on her bottom lip and blinked hard.

  “Wh
y don’t you come to my office?” Reverend Burke said gently. “I can help you make the arrangements.”

  Grace took a deep breath and nodded.

  “I’ll stay here and say some prayers for your mother,” Mrs. C. said. “When you’re ready, we’ll go home together.” She gave Grace another hug.

  For a few brief seconds, Grace soaked in the comfort of her embrace, then turned and followed the minister out of the sanctuary.

  Fifteen minutes later, Revered Burke hung up the receiver. “The tickets will be held for you at the train station. You can pick them up whenever you’re ready, or wait until the day of departure. Whatever’s more convenient.”

  Grace had taken his advice to sail out of New York, rather than Halifax, since a ship was leaving in four days.

  “Thank you, Reverend. I only hope I can make it home in time to see Mum again.” She twisted her hands together. “Long enough to grant me her forgiveness at last.” Maybe then Grace would finally have the peace that had eluded her for so long.

  The minister frowned. “What is it you think you need forgiveness for?”

  Grace shook her head. “For so many things.” Quietly, she relayed the story of Peter’s death, which had led to her father’s demise. “I came here to bring Rose back, hoping to make it up to Mum by doing so, but I was too late. Now I’ve failed again with Christian.” Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. She pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed them away.

  Reverend Burke came around to sit in the chair beside her. “Do you believe in God’s forgiveness, Grace?” he asked quietly.

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Then that’s all that truly matters. Knowing that God has forgiven you for everything.”

  “I know He has.” She sighed. “I just wish Mum could forgive me too.”