Scattered Ashes

by Megg Jensen

  Rell had accidentally killed the man she thought was her father with her alien powers, and her mother still withheld the truth from her. Rell's stomach churned thinking about it. If she ever saw her mother again, they would have words, and Rell would demand the whole truth.

  Running her hands over the bare dirt walls, Rell made her way through the maze of tunnels toward the mouth of the volcano. Finally, she spied the entrance to the cavern. She swallowed hard, recalling the deaths she’d caused with her inability to control her dragzhi side. Her father's. Mellok's. Both of them accidental; both of them scarred her soul.

  The lava churned in the pit, its blazing depths calling to her. Rell sat on the edge, her legs dangling above the popping bubbles of fire.

  "Father?" she called out.

  The lava swirled, then began to rise. A man's form quickly took shape. The face consisted of melted oranges and yellows. A mouth moved within the embers. "My daughter." It reached out to her, then recoiled. "There is an invader inside you."

  "I know." Rell hung her head.

  "You may not join me. Don't come any closer." Her father hovered over the lava.

  "I don’t want to chance death, and I know you won’t kill me as long as I reside in the body of one you love.” The words were not hers, and they were forced out of her mouth against her will.

  Her father hovered closer, still wary. "Why? You don't need her."

  "My last host died. I prefer insulation. Without my ship, I feel more secure this way." Rell's words tumbled out without any thought. She felt like she was eavesdropping, rather than participating, in the conversation.

  "Then go back to your ship. Leave this planet. We will not rejoin you." Her father's body undulated. Angry sparks scattered around him.

  "It is of no matter. The solid forms are all dead, killed by these filthy humans. And by you, my brother in flame. You are responsible for the deaths of your own kind." Rell's shoulders shrugged. "Even if you were to come with me, we could not join together. We must return to space and summon our brethren. Once they arrive, you will rejoin us. Now that we know where you're hiding." Rell struggled, but could not stop the smirk from curling her lips. She gritted her teeth, trying to fight back. It was futile.

  "I will never join with you."

  "You will face trial, and you will be found guilty." Rell detested every word spewing from her mouth. She felt the liquid dragzhi essence swelling inside her, threatening to crush her.

  She forced herself to recall memories from before the liquid dragzhi had settled inside her. She thought of her father, the human man she had believed was her father, and how scratchy his red beard had been on her cheek when he kissed her. She thought of Torsten and the first time he'd kissed her. It had been so unexpected, she'd punched him.

  Every memory distanced her from the conversation her body was having. She retreated to a corner of her mind, building a little wall the dragzhi inside her could not penetrate. There she remained until the conversation waned. One word brought her back.

  "Rell?" Her fire father's voice echoed in her head.

  She swam through the murky confusion inside her head, finally emerging as the words left her lips. "I'm here."

  "I'm sorry it has done this to you. It is the nature of the dragzhi to join with each other. That is why they have been so intent on locating me. You are a comfort to him, whether you like it or not."

  "He said the two of you can't be joined without the solid form," Rell said. "So why is he able to join with me since I am part fire dragzhi?"

  "You are also part human. The chemical makeup of your bodies allows us inside. We can inhabit the human body as easily as we do our own. It is how I am your father." The fire being lit up red.

  "Can I ask how that worked?" Rell wanted to know, but at the same time, she didn't. Not if it involved three-way sex with her mother, human father, and dragzhi father.

  "I inhabited the man who you believed was your father. For only one night. I spent it with your mother... and him." He swayed above the lava, the face turning even redder than before.

  "Did they know?" Rell asked, ashamed, but needing to understand how she came to be.

  "Not in the way you think. Your father thought it was all him. I didn't want them to know, but your mother knew something was different. She pressed, and eventually I told her a form of the truth. There is still much she doesn’t know. Maybe someday, I will tell you."

  Rell had overheard her mother discussing it recently with her new lover. Rell wasn't angry with her fire father. She was angry with her mother for withholding the truth and for using it to her advantage for so many years.

  "Thank you." It was all she needed to know. Rell barely had a grasp on her own love life, much less her three parents’.

  Love life. She sort of had one with Torsten, just a few stolen kisses here and there. With the liquid dragzhi inside her, Rell didn't want to get too close to Torsten.

  At the time she needed a good friend the most, she couldn't allow herself to lean on him. It was too complicated.

  "Rell, whatever you do, you must fight. Don't let him trick you into giving him everything he wants. If he gets back into space and calls the other dragzhi here, you will be in for a battle unlike anything you have ever seen. What happened aboveground was only a preview of what will come. It is better if you stay on the ground. Don't look to the stars. Live your life here." Her father undulated in the lava.

  "I can't control what I do most of the time. It's inside me. It takes over." Tears slipped down Rell's cheeks.

  "You are speaking now. Not it," her father reminded her.

  "I know, but the moment I think something it doesn't want me to, I drown under its power." She whispered, even though no one else was there to overhear, "Some days I think I should kill myself."

  Her father's flame grew brighter, sending off sparks. "Never. You will overcome this. You are my daughter, and you are filled with the passion of fire. Let it burn, Rell."

  "I'll try." Rell meant it, too. She would try with everything she had. Even in her darkest moments, when she eyed the gun she'd been given for protection, she hadn't been able to bring herself to follow through.

  "Now, go. Both of you. Rell, find a way to expel this evil dragzhi from your body. Don't let it win." Rell's father sank back into the lava, combining with all of the other fire dragzhi.

  As she trudged back through the tunnels, the dragzhi inside spoke. Do you wonder why your father didn't tell you exactly how to expel me from your body? He has possessed humans, just as he did with the man you believed was your true father. He left that man. He knows all of the dragzhi secrets on how it works, and yet, he didn't share that information with you.

  Rell kept quiet. Those thoughts had been hers, and they had mingled with the liquid dragzhi inside, swirling in a frenzy.

  He wants you to stay on the ground because it affords him a peaceful life. If you take me back into the stars to muster reinforcements, then his life of seclusion is in danger. He is using you as much as I am.

  As much as she hated the thing inside her, she feared, deep down, it was right. She was trapped between the warring dragzhi. Simply a marionette used to carry out their wishes.

  Just as Rell was about to turn to the left, and exit the tunnels, a whimper caught her attention.

  5

  Rell started at the pathetic sound. This time, it was no more than a whimper. She crept down a tunnel leading deeper into the caverns she once lived in. The dragzhi inside didn't scold her. It was as curious as she was.

  Light sprang forth from Rell's palm, even though she could have found her way with her eyes closed. She spent much of her childhood exploring the tunnels in the great cavernous system. Few of the twists and turns remained a mystery.

  The whimpering became sobbing as Rell rounded a corner.

  A small, dark shadow hunched against the rocky wall. Rell tiptoed closer. She knelt, her knee sinking onto the damp ground. She reached out toward the huddled form.

&n
bsp; "Are you okay?" Her hand rested on a shaking shoulder.

  The figure jerked away, cowering.

  "I won't hurt you," Rell said, her voice soft. She lay her hand on the shoulder again. This time, it shook a little less.

  A head slowly rose, and bright green eyes glinted.

  "Your hand is on fire," the voice said.

  Rell couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl. Not that it mattered. The child clearly needed help.

  "It's okay. It doesn’t hurt me," Rell said. "What's your name?"

  "Isobel," the little voice squeaked out.

  "What are you doing down here, Isobel? Is anyone with you? A parent or a sibling?"

  "I was all alone until you showed up." A tentative smile crossed her face.

  "How long have you been down here?" Rell asked. It had been weeks since the battle, the same day her people fled their underground homes.

  "I don't know. A long time." The little girl shifted until she was facing Rell. Her face sagged, and bones protruded from her shoulders as if her skin was draped over one of the hangers in Rell's closet back in the tower. Sand covered her from head to toe. She clutched a ragged doll in one hand.

  "Where is your family?"

  "I don't know. They left. I took a nap one day, and when I woke up, everyone was gone." She sniffled as tears spilled down her cheeks. "So I waited and waited, but no one came back. I've been eating the food they left behind. I wondered if I was the only person left on the planet."

  "Oh, sweetie." Rell held out her arms, and the little girl crawled into them, resting her head on Rell's shoulder. She tightened her free arm around the bag of bones, but gently. She was afraid to hurt her. "You aren't the only one. There are many of us aboveground. I'll take you there."

  "No." The girl jerked away. "Not up there. Those people aren't believers. It would be anathema."

  Rell gazed on the girl's frightened expression, almost as if she were looking into a mirror. Not long ago, she had been a frightened child, too. She'd been suspicious of those who lived in the sun and moonlight.

  "I know what you think of them—” Rell started.

  "Them?" The girl interrupted. "You are one of them."

  "No, I was like you," Rell said softly. "I was born underground. I grew up here. Eventually, I left."

  "You were thrown out, then. No one leaves." The girl shrank back against the wall.

  Rell sighed. "It's complicated. I was chosen for a mission, and I executed it to the best of my ability. Now I live aboveground with the defenders. They aren't as evil as you might think."

  "Where did our people go?" the girl asked.

  "I don't know," Rell said. She had been the one to tell them to leave, warning them the volcano was about to blow. They'd left in a hurry, but Rell had never considered anyone would leave their child down here to die. What kind of a parent would do such a thing? "I'd like it if you would come back with me. There's shelter and clean clothes. All the food you could eat."

  Rell held out her free hand again.

  After a few moments, the young girl slipped her hand in Rell's and stood. "I am hungry."

  "Good." Rell smiled. "I can promise you as much food as you want to fill up that belly."

  The two walked through the tunnels, hand in hand. Rell felt a strange lightness in her chest, as if this girl was able to lift her spirits simply through touch.

  Rell glanced down at Isobel. The girl was about to experience a fate similar to Rell’s. She'd lost her home and her family. She was entering a world that would seem as alien as the stars. The tower wasn't her home, neither were these tunnels. Rell's heart ached for the changes Isobel would go through. It was hard enough dealing with them as an adult. She couldn't even imagine what it would be like for this child.

  When they emerged aboveground, Isobel's hand began to shake. Rell doused her flame and gripped Isobel tighter, tugging when she realized Isobel had dug her heels into the mud. The waterfall roared in front of them, spraying them with stray droplets of water.

  Isobel's lower lip quivered. She twisted, struggling to break free of Rell's grasp. "No, don't make me!"

  Rell squatted down, taking Isobel into her arms. "You have to. There is nothing left for you underground. Everyone has fled. You can't live down there alone."

  "I have been. I still can!" Tears streamed down Isobel's face, soaking Rell's top.

  "No, you can't," Rell whispered in her ear. She'd once heard whispering to a frantic child would quiet them.

  Isobel's chest heaved with every garbled breath.

  "You’re starving. You're filthy. Your clothes are in tatters. You know these things as well as I do. I promise no harm will come to you in the tower I live in." Rell stroked the girl's back gently as her sobs subsided.

  "A tower? Like that old fairy tale about Rapunzel?" Isobel reached back, pulling her long braid over her shoulder. A bug leaped out of the strands, flying into the waterfall's spray.

  "Yes, kind of like that," Rell said with a smile. They'd often told old Earth fairytales while sitting around the fire. That particular tale was close to the hearts of the buried because both women and men grew their hair long. They were told it was pleasing to the gods, but they'd delighted in having something in common with an Earth princess, too. It was a small vanity they afforded themselves.

  Isobel straightened. "I will go with you." She took a step, then another, each shakier than the last.

  "I know," Rell said, "why don't I carry you? That way you can see everything on the way to the tower. You won't be focused on your steps, but instead you can take in the new world you're entering. You can whisper questions in my ear, and I will tell you everything you want to know."

  Isobel smiled, her teeth smudged with dirt. "I'd like that." She held out her arms, the doll still dangling from one hand. Its vacant eyes staring at Rell.

  Rell turned, letting Isobel clamber on her back. She was surprised at how light Isobel was. She could barely feel the girl upon her back. Poor thing.

  Rell's nose wrinkled at the girl's stench, but it was worth it. Isobel needed help. If Rell ever found out who Isobel's parents were, she'd... well, she didn't know what she'd do to them. No one should leave a child behind. Not even in an emergency.

  They traversed the jungle, heading toward the tower. At first, Isobel was talkative, asking Rell questions about everything from the scent of flowers in the wind to the grass under their feet. But when the tower came into view, Isobel's chatter halted.

  At times, Rell couldn't believe the imposing tower was her home now. It all still felt very alien to her, despite living there for weeks.

  Then again, nothing had felt normal since she'd been sent on her mission. Even without a dragzhi inside her, Rell wasn't sure she'd feel like everyone else.

  The dragzhi! It still hadn't made a sound since she'd found Isobel. Rell was just as glad. She couldn't have left the little girl alone in the caverns after discovering her. If the dragzhi had forced her to leave without Isobel, it would have made the following days unbearable.

  Rell walked up to the main door of the tower. She closed her eyes, trying to forget the battle she'd fought in front of these doors. The battle that ended in the dragzhi capturing her and spiriting her away to their ship.

  Despite knowing there was nothing out to get her, Rell hurried through the open door, urging the guards to close it quickly behind her.

  “Stop.” One of the guards leveled a gun at them. “Who is that?”

  “She’s a child! I found her hiding in the tunnels underground, all alone. Don’t tell me you’re refusing her entry.” Rell glared at the guards.

  “Let them go,” the second guard said. “What’s one more dirty little kid? Just keep her out of trouble.”

  Rell nodded, her heart pounding as she made her way down the hall to the lift that would take her up to her quarters. As the lift doors closed, the guard slowly lowered his gun.

  She set Isobel on the floor of the lift. "Listen to me for a moment." Rell gently nu
dged the young girl's chin up. Isobel's eyes were wide and unblinking. "This is going to carry us up into the tower. Your ears may feel some pressure. All you need to do is swallow, and they will pop. Your head may ache a little, too, but that's normal. I promise it won't hurt you. Okay?"

  Isobel nodded, still mute.

  Rell took Isobel's hand, then pushed the button for her floor. The lift jerked, carrying them up at a frightening speed. Isobel's free hand clutched Rell's pant leg, her nails digging into Rell's thigh. She winced but didn't pry Isobel's fingers off.

  After a short time, the lift slowed, indicating they'd reached Rell's floor. The doors opened. Rell took small steps, guiding Isobel next to her. The girl's legs were unsteady as she took matching steps.

  "How are you?" Rell asked, smiling.

  Isobel bit her lower lip, then swallowed hard. "I'm okay. I think." She let go of Rell, pulled her braid over her shoulder, and snuggled her cheek into it.

  Rell remembered doing the same thing for comfort when she was a child. This little girl was pulling at every tender feeling Rell had ever had. "It's not far to my quarters. Just a few more doors."

  Isobel nodded, her eyes wide once again.

  They stopped in front of Rell's door. She waved her hand over the plate, and the door opened.

  "These are my quarters. You can stay here with me as long as you like. I'll have them bring in an extra mattress so we both have a place to sleep."

  Isobel ran into the room, touching everything she could reach.

  Rell crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the wall. Isobel could have all the time she needed to acclimate to her new life. There wasn't anywhere pressing Rell needed to be. Most importantly, she managed to sneak out during the chaos without anyone noticing, or caring. The alarms had ceased, and all was back to normal in the tower.

  6

  Leila fumed. Her stupid brother had gone out and found a dragzhi in the jungle. All those years Torsten had his nose stuck in a computer reading about something completely useless. He’d been boring, sure, but safe. Until he met Rell. That was the moment everything went downhill for Torsten. Leila was determined not to let him lose everything because that girl had clouded his vision.