Scattered Ashes

by Megg Jensen

  After the scout revved its engines, Rell said to the dragzhi inside, "Why aren't you forcing me back to the tower? You want me to help Torsten.”

  That task has fallen to my brother. I told it to assist Torsten. They will be able to repair their ship and enter space soon. I also want you far away from his influence. I don't like your feelings when you're around him. It makes me uncomfortable.

  "Well, I'm so sorry you don't like my feelings. Why don't you get out of me, then?" Rell asked.

  For now, I need your body. When I don't need it any longer, you will know.

  "Will I die like Yasmin?" Rell almost didn't want to hear the answer.

  The dragzhi gave no reply.

  She trudged on to the church in silence, her thoughts focused on the buried. Rell knew they hadn't returned to their homes. They had to be somewhere, though. They couldn't simply disappear. Perhaps they’d retreated to some of the most remote tunnels under the city. The catacombs under the church could take her there.

  Rell pulled the church doors open. They groaned, as if they couldn't understand why people continued to bother the church. It was a ruin and wanted to stay that way.

  Rell entered and was greeted by a person draped in white garb.

  "You have come, as your mother said you would." The voice was of a middle octave, sounding neither masculine nor feminine.

  "My mother?” Rell asked.

  "She’s over there." The figure pointed toward the front of the church, where a small crowd stood.

  Rell ran down the aisle, ignoring curious stares at her tattered makeshift clothing.

  "Mother?" she said as she came up to the group. Two acolytes moved to the side, allowing Rell into their circle.

  Her mother lay on a pew, her face pale.

  "What happened? You were fine the last time I saw you. I don't understand." Rell looked to the others for an explanation.

  A man across from her mother spoke. "Your mother suffered a spell after we fled the tunnels. The stress appears to have injured her heart."

  Rell recognized his voice. He was her mother's secret lover.

  "Have you used any medicine?" Rell was surprised at the unsteadiness in her voice. Exhaustion from the last few days was setting in.

  "We tried. Nothing helped." The man rested a hand on her mother's shoulder. "Ticia? Can you hear me? Rell's here."

  Her mother's eyes opened halfway. "Rell?" She reached out with a shaking hand.

  Rell slipped her hand into her mother's.

  "Leave us." Her mother's voice cracked as she spoke.

  The others took their leave silently. After they were gone, her mother motioned for Rell to come closer.

  Rell leaned down, her head close to her mother. "I had no idea you were unwell."

  "I could have sent someone to tell you, but I thought perhaps you would rather know after I passed. Maybe it would make your life easier." Her mother's voice was barely a whisper, and her words were slightly slurred.

  "I already lost my father. Perhaps I want you to stick around a bit longer, even if we aren't the best at being daughter and mother." Rell sat next to her mother's weak body. She stroked the hair that had been brown the last time they'd seen each other. It was now streaked with gray.

  "There are things you should know before I am gone..." Her mother pursed her lips, clearly using all of the energy she had just to speak.

  "It's okay," Rell said. "I know it all. I know who my real father is. I overheard you and that man speaking by the volcano before the dragzhi attacked."

  Her mother's eyes closed. "I am so sorry I never told you. I should have. I was a terrible mother. I was only trying to protect you from those who would use you. The council..."

  Rell looked up, searching the church for the familiar black-robed council members, but they were nowhere to be seen.

  "They died. All three at the same time, Rell. They collapsed dead not long after the defenders won against the dragzhi. Blood seeped from within their cowls. Markel, the man who you saw me with in the tunnel, removed their robes only to find they were skeletons."

  Rell gasped. "What? Does everyone here know this?"

  "No. Just Markel and I. We had no explanation, so we chose to keep it a secret. But, it shouldn't be forgotten. You should know, too, now that I am close to leaving this life." Her mother drew in a rattling breath.

  "All those years, we were following the directions of three cloaked skeletons? I don't understand." Rell ignored the dragzhi inside as it began to speak. She would listen to it later.

  "Neither do we. But they are dead now." Her mother took another deep breath. "They no longer control what we do. I fear our people will be lost without their direction. So many believe in the Menelewen Dored. You must lead them out of here, Rell. Give them new lives."

  "I don't know how. If they are as I once was, it will be almost impossible to convince them the Menelewen Dored aren't what they thought." Rell hesitated. "The gods are just aliens. The dragzhi. We have been worshipping false gods."

  "I knew they weren't divine beings after what happened to me that one night. I loved your father, but that one night of pleasure has never left me. Your biological father, whatever he was, burnt his being into part of my soul. I will never forget how loving he was with me. How tender. He wanted a child so badly. I could feel his yearning. Not for me, but for your creation. For a long time, I was jealous. He loved you before your conception, and I all wanted was for him to love me. To come back to me. I took my jealousy out on you, and for that, I am sorry."

  "I understand, Mother." Rell bent, kissing her mother's wrinkled forehead. "I forgive you."

  Another shallow breath was followed be a deep, wracking cough. "I'm so happy you came to me before I passed beyond this life. The council was right about one thing: confession is good for the soul. I can die in peace now."

  Rell's mother closed her eyes and never opened them again.

  Rell sat with her body for a time, then called Markel over. "She's gone. We need to take her to the catacombs."

  He stood next to Rell, an acolyte robe for her clasped in his hands and a tear in the corner of his eye. "I loved your mother very much. She never loved me the same way, yet still I would have done anything for her. Rell, if you ever need a father figure, I am here for you."

  Rell looked up at the man who held such affection for her mother. He was older, dressed in the clothes of a person who lived in Hadar. In fact, he probably took those clothes from the ruins. They certainly didn't have them underground. She took the robe he offered, pulling it over the scraps of tent she wore wrapped on her body. She tied the belt at her waist.

  "Thank you," Rell said.

  Together, they pulled a blanket over her mother. Rell's throat swelled, and she choked back tears. They’d never been close, and now she’d never know her mother well. Death claimed her too quickly.

  Four acolytes came forward, their hands folded.

  "We will take Ticia underground, then return here for further instruction," one said.

  Together, they lifted her mother's body, taking it down the stairway to the tunnels.

  Rell turned her back on them, surveying the others in the church. Markel was the only one who had taken to wearing the clothes of the grounders. The rest wore white robes and their hair in long braids.

  "They can't stay here," Rell told him. "Those in the tower are planning to leave Hadar once they figure out how to return to space."

  "And the dragzhi?" Markel asked. "Are they still up there, waiting to kill us?"

  Rell wanted to tell him yes. That as soon as they left the atmosphere, their mere presence in space would alert the dragzhi to their presence. If they stayed on Phoenix, the tark would find them and kill them.

  "I don't know," she said.

  "Then we must try." Markel smiled at Rell. "Together, we can convince the others to come to the tower. They may not give up their ways so readily, but I think most of them will see the futility in remaining here."

  "
I hope so, for their sakes." Rell watched the acolytes as closely as they watched her. She must appear strange to them in her torn, makeshift clothing. "I'm ready to try if you help me."

  "I'd be happy to."

  "Everyone, gather around. We need to talk." Rell gestured to the acolytes. "I have a story to tell you. Listening will please the gods."

  They moved closer, filling the pews before her.

  She was about to tell them something that would guarantee their cooperation.

  18

  Leila sat on Torsten’s bed, tapping her right foot on the floor. Guards told her Torsten had returned the scout to the shed, so she’d gone to his room to wait for his return. He’d been so odd lately, she wasn’t sure if he’d let her in to talk. She’d simply have to force him.

  Torsten slogged into his room, his head hung as if he were very weary. A bandage was wrapped around his wrist. The door closed behind him.

  "I heard you were back." Leila eyed his pack as he gently rested it on the floor. "You need to take that thing back to the brig."

  "I will. Give me a minute. I think it's dead. It hasn't done anything since I found it." Torsten slumped down in a chair across the room.

  "Then send it down the incinerator." Leila crossed her arms over her chest, ignoring his question.

  "Why are you here?" he asked.

  "You came back without Rell. At least, I assume so because the guards didn't see her with you all. Did you find her?"

  "You have people watching me?" Torsten asked, clearly frustrated.

  Leila had looked out for him since their parents' murder. Even though Torsten was older, she was more practical. He spent too much time following his emotions wherever they led. "I have to know what's going on around here, and lately I don't feel like you'll tell me the truth. Why is that, Tor?" Her blond hair fell over her shoulder as she cocked her head to the side. "What happened to you after the quake?"

  Torsten sighed, resting his elbows on his knees and laying his chin on his hands. "Yes, we found Rell. She’s alive, but she didn’t come back with us. She has some important things to take care of first. And even if I told you what happened all those months ago, you wouldn't believe me."

  "Try me." Leila pulled one leg up, hugging it with her arms.

  "Fine,” Torsten said. "Rell and I traveled through some kind of portal into a dragzhi ship."

  He'd already tried telling her this part once before, but she hadn't believed him. This time, she withheld her judgment, waiting for him to continue.

  "While we were up there, I saw..."

  "What?" Leila asked. "What did you see?"

  "It's not a what. It's a who."

  Her annoyance quickly moved to curiosity. "Who?"

  "I saw... our mother."

  Leila gasped, her hand flying over her mouth. Her stomach roiled. "How is that possible? She's dead."

  "I thought she was, too. I saw exactly what you saw that night. But, she was up there, Lei. Living, breathing, in the flesh. Our mother is alive." Torsten sat up, resting his head against the wall behind his chair. "I know it sounds crazy."

  Leila bit her lower lip. Her expression hardened again. "It does. Tell me the rest."

  "Rell and I were up there. We spent the night. This woman, who bore a strange resemblance to Mellok's mother, gave us a tour of the ship. Not long after we settled down for our second night, the ship started shaking. Rell and I managed to escape right before it exploded." Torsten kept his eyes fixated on Leila.

  "So, you traveled to a dragzhi ship. You met our dead mother. Then it exploded, and you transported back down to Phoenix." Leila said it all very slowly. "Is that what you're telling me?"

  Torsten nodded.

  Leila threw her head back, laughing hysterically. "What did Rell do to you? That woman must have fed you some tainted mushrooms. Really, Torsten.” He’d gone mad.

  "How do you explain the rest?" Torsten stood, jostling his chair. He caught it before it could topple over. "I stole a dragzhi ship. I used it to defeat them here on Phoenix. I saved you from a rock dragzhi!"

  "Rell found a portal and transported you, Rutger, and Malia there." Leila muttered under her breath. "I know all of that. And now Rell was whisked away from the tower and taken into the desert. Let me guess, she miraculously came upon you in the desert? I bet she saved you from something there, too."

  Torsten opened his mouth, then closed it. He knew how ridiculous it all sounded. "Yes. That's basically what happened in the desert, too."

  Leila stood, pacing. "She obviously has a hold over you. I don't like it, Tor. You need to break it off. Look, we know she's a murderer. She killed Mellok. She admitted to killing her father. There is something wrong with her. Trouble follows Rell wherever she goes."

  "Which is why she needs me." Torsten ran his hands through his hair. "You act like she's a monster, Leila. She's not."

  "Oh, really? What kind of person takes you to an enemy ship that happens to have a passenger who looks exactly like our dead mother?" Leila's hands shook, and she quickly hid them behind her back. Just saying the words was too upsetting, and she didn’t want Torsten to know he’d gotten to her.

  Torsten reached over, gently tugging on Leila's arms. He took her hands in his. "She didn't just look like our mother. She is our mother."

  Tears streamed down Leila's cheeks, despite her best efforts to contain her emotions. "It's a lie. She's dead. I saw her die. So did you."

  "Now you know how I felt on that ship. It was horrifying and beautiful all at the same time. Except..."

  "Except what?" Leila gazed up at her brother, her blue eyes glassy.

  "She didn't act like our mother. She was odd, detached almost. As if she didn't know me." Torsten dropped Leila's hands and sat down again.

  "So it wasn't our mother?"

  "I don't know." Torsten choked it out.

  "It's Rell. Damn it!" Leila knelt down in front of her brother. "Don't you see, Torsten? All of this comes back to Rell. I'm starting to think..."

  "What?" Torsten asked. "What now?"

  Leila stood and resumed her pacing. "It all makes sense. Think about it. Everything that happens around her is strange. She seems to have a connection with the dragzhi. And that scene in the conference room, where that small child seemed to whisk her away. Then you magically find her in the desert without really looking. Don't you see?

  "Rell lived underground her whole life, and now her people are gone, too. Missing. Don't you remember how strange they were when they held us captive, Tor? They wore the same white robes. They grew their hair long, letting it hang down their backs in braids. I couldn't even tell which were male and which were female. The buried were a human cult, sure, but maybe they were in league with the dragzhi. Maybe they were trying to bring about our destruction."

  "That's far-fetched, even for you, Leila." Torsten shook his head. "Everything Rell has said is true. Everything I've said is true. If you'd just listen—”

  "If you would listen, big brother, you'd realize how truly idiotic you sound." Leila stormed out of his room.

  The door closed behind her, and Leila fell against the wall, her chest heaving as she attempted to control her emotions. With a hurried swipe, Leila removed the tears under her eyes. She stood up straight, her blond hair once again settling on her back with her signature confidence.

  Leila strode down the hall, determined to eliminate Rell once and for all.

  19

  Torsten knew Leila would have slammed the door if it was possible. Instead, the metal door closed with a whisper behind his angry sister.

  He pulled his shirt over his head. Sand sprinkled to the floor, giving his otherwise clean room a gritty patina. He threw the shirt into the corner and sat on his bed, grabbing his pack on the way. Torsten reached in, pulling out the cool, silver dragzhi. He rested it on the bed next to him.

  "I wish you were alive. I could swear I even saw you move in the desert, but that was just the venom talking. If you were, maybe I could solve a
lot of our problems. Or I could get us off this stupid planet and away from all of our troubles. Mine and Rell's. We could start over somewhere else." Torsten glared at the silver liquid, silently blaming it for his troubles. If the dragzhi had never come to Phoenix, none of this would have happened.

  Then again, maybe he never would have met Rell, either. He would have stayed in the tower, and she would have remained forever underground. It was the search for the Key that threw them together.

  And she was the Key. It was almost funny. The thing that brought them together was tearing them apart. He leaned back, his head on a pillow and his eyes closed. He needed a nap. After that, he'd deal with all of their problems. Maybe by then Rell would return to the tower with the other buried.

  Torsten focused on his breathing to calm his thoughts. He finally began to relax and drift off.

  "You didn't tell her the whole truth."

  Torsten’s eyes darted around his room. There was no one there. Just him and the dead dragzhi. Then Torsten looked next to him. The silver blob was gone.

  "Oh no." He sprang off his bed.

  "You didn't tell her Rell is one of us. She is part dragzhi."

  Torsten looked up. The silver blob clung to the ceiling. It drooped down, taking the shape of a giant, upside-down bat. "Why didn't you tell her?"

  "You're alive." Torsten didn't know whether to be happy or scared shitless. A living dragzhi. In his room. Talking to him.

  "Are you going to take me back to your prison? It can't hold me. I could easily escape if I want to."

  "Why didn't you before?" Torsten asked, biding his time. He had no idea what to do with it now that it was talking. And unquestionably alive.

  "I was observing. I knew you couldn't hurt me, so I waited to see what you would do. And you treated me with kindness. Curious. So curious." The silver liquid slid closer to Torsten's face, as if it was looking him in the eyes, taking his measure.

  "Of course I did." Torsten didn't know what else to say.

  The silver reached out, slapping his cheek. "Pertinent boy. You meant to use me."