Scattered Ashes

by Megg Jensen

  A timid hand rose among the acolytes. "Will we have to become like them? Like you did? Like Markel is?"

  "No," Rell promised her. "You may maintain your beliefs. As long as we act with kindness, it should be returned." Rell thought of the prejudice against the buried. Not everyone possessed it, but some did. "There may be some who are just as disgusted by you, as you are of them. Give them time. Let them get to know you as peaceful people. In time, I hope we can all overcome our differences."

  It was a long shot. Prejudice ran deep. If Rell was to save their lives, she would have to convince both sides to give each other a chance. She refused to abandon them when they could be saved. Perhaps they could even return to Earth, a place that had allowed for freedom of all religions after centuries of fighting.

  "It’s approximately a day's walk to the tower from here. Since nighttime is falling, I suggest we remain here for one more night. In the morning, we'll set out." Rell didn't want to say it, but waiting also gave them time to reconsider their choice. She wouldn't be surprised if more defected to the tunnels they loved so much.

  The acolytes returned to the corners of the church they had called home since their exodus from underground, talking quietly amongst themselves.

  Rell and Markel moved off to the side, where they could speak in private.

  Markel patted Rell’s shoulder. "You're doing the right thing. Your mother never believed, you know? She always felt something was off. And when your powers came to light, she realized there was more to all of this than any of us understood. Most of all, she wanted to protect you."

  Rell sat in a hard chair and ran her hands through her hair. Once she was back at the tower, she wanted to take a long, hot shower. It had seemed such a luxury when she'd first tried one. Her whole life she'd bathed in tubs filled with lukewarm water. Now, she hated living without the shower. The dragzhi inside was quiet, lulled to boredom. As long as Rell was on her way back to the tower, the dragzhi was content.

  "I thought she hated me for killing my father," Rell confessed to the man who had been her mother's lover. Part of her was jealous that Markel knew her mother better than she did. The other part wanted to learn as much as she could from him.

  "No. Far from it. She was trying to protect you from whatever lurked inside you. Keeping you obedient and faithful helped her achieve that goal. You never questioned or fought. You did as you were told. If you had been the slightest bit rebellious, there could have been disastrous consequences." Markel settled on the chair next to her, his hands clasped together. "And when you were sent aboveground, your mother thought perhaps it was for the best. You were an adult. Getting you away from religion would lead you toward your true purpose."

  "And what is that?" Rell looked at the acolytes. She'd told them half-truths. Once they were in the tower, what would be left of their religion? Could they assimilate more easily than she had, once they realized their gods were nothing but aliens?

  "I don't know," Markel admitted. "We can only move forward with best intentions."

  Rell laughed. "How did you, of all people, end up with my mother? She should have eaten you for breakfast." She choked back tears. It was a story she wanted to hear from her mother, but would never have the chance.

  Markel smiled. "Sometimes the beast needs someone to calm them. I was that for your mother. A quiet and steady light in all of the darkness she fought against."

  "Me." Rell whispered it. "I was the darkness."

  "And her greatest love. Your conception was a mystery your mother didn't understand. She knew there was more to it than a night with Kennor, the man you thought was your father. And perhaps he partially was. We have no idea how much of him is in you and how much is that being of fire." Markel sighed. "I think you should sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day. Come. You can have your mother's bedding."

  Rell followed him across the church where two piles of blankets lay in a corner.

  Markel pointed to the set on the right. "Those were your mother's. You can take them wherever you like."

  "If it's okay, I'd like to stay near you." Rell sat down on the cold, stone floor. She wrapped one of the blankets around her shoulders. "I don't know anyone else here very well, and I'm not comfortable with being alone."

  Markel sat next to her, a frown on his face. "That is a travesty of your upbringing. Your mother was afraid to let you have friends. She feared one day you might accidentally kill one of them. Now you don't know anyone, when the rest of us know each other well. I'm so sorry for that."

  "It's okay," Rell said, even though it wasn't. She was terrible at friendship, but Torsten was giving her the chance to learn. If she was feeling brave, she might even count Tatsuru, Malia, and Rutger among her friends. "What is done is done. I can only move on from here."

  "You’re a brave woman, very much like your mother." Markel smiled, but it was lined with sadness.

  "You loved her very much, didn't you?" Rell asked.

  Markel nodded as tears gathered at the corners of his eyes.

  "Thank you. I'm glad she had someone."

  Silence fell over the church as the final rays of the sun disappeared from the stained glass windows. Rell settled under the blankets, hoping she could relax enough to find even a few moments of sleep before leading her people to the tower in the morning.

  22

  The next evening, Rell walked the final few steps to the massive steel doors at the base of the tower. Behind her was a ragtag mess of acolytes, their white robes stained and their faces covered in sweat. She hadn't allowed them much time to rest during the trek. Even the children had been forced to keep up. Near the end, most of the small ones were resting on an adult’s hip.

  Rell wanted to minimize their time outside, in case the tark attacked. She was vigilant, watching for any sign of an incoming sandstorm. But she saw nothing of interest the entire day.

  With a closed fist, Rell banged on the tower doors until the familiar sound of the security bars moving sounded in the still night. The doors opened enough for one person to slip out into the fading light of day.

  "Rell." Leila’s right hand rested on the grip of her gun.

  "I've brought the refugees from underground. I hope Torsten told you we were coming." Rell tried to be as polite as possible.

  "He mentioned it." Leila cocked one hip to the side. "We don't have a lot of food. We've already taken in grounder refugees. They came to us right away for protection. Your people thought they didn't need us. What did you say to convince them they do? Did you promise them safety? A chance to leave Phoenix? I'll be honest with you, Rell, we never figured the buried into our calculations. They made it very clear they wanted nothing to do with us, so we never even considered taking them with us. Bringing them here was a waste of your time. We can't help you."

  Leila turned on her heel, but before she could slip between the doors, Rell grabbed her elbow, pulling her to the side.

  "Don't do this," Rell whispered. "These people are innocent. They were brainwashed into believing all of that religious stuff since they were children. You saw me. You know how deeply ingrained it is. You know how it can make you do things you shouldn't do."

  "And that's supposed to convince me?" Leila hissed, throwing an angry glare at the acolytes. "You want me to allow a bunch of unhinged religious freaks into my tower where they can sabotage us at every turn? No way, Rell. I don't care how much Torsten loves you. I'm not letting you ruin our chance at getting off this planet."

  Rell tried not to react to the word Leila had used. Love.

  "They need you, Leila," Rell said. "Please. Let them in. Even if you keep them as prisoners, don't leave them out here. What if the tark come—”

  Leila pulled her hand away. "Oh, don't start with those lies. There's no one on this planet but us. What happened in the conference room was a trick. It's always a trick with you, Rell. If you can't have your way, you play on Torsten's need to save you. I don't buy any of this. Go away."

  Leila stalked into the tow
er, the doors slamming shut behind her.

  Heart heavy, Rell turned back to her people. "Um, they..."

  "We heard everything,” a hooded acolyte said. “We should go back to our home underground. The grounders and defenders want nothing to do with us, and honestly, we want nothing to do with them. We listened to your ideas, and we thought you might offer us a new life. We see now that it isn't possible. The grounders and the defenders are just as dishonorable as we always thought. I, for one, am returning to my home underground. We left on your advice. We spent weeks living in squalor in church ruins. And for what?" The acolyte turned their back on Rell. Making a path through the crowd, the acolyte headed toward the waterfall to the west. Slowly, the rest of the group followed, walking one by one, in a procession away from the tower.

  Rell watched helplessly until only she and Markel remained.

  "You should go, too," she told him.

  "I don't belong down there anymore," Markel said.

  She took in his grounder clothes. He seemed so comfortable in them, as if he'd worn them his entire life. Rell remembered how she'd hated the clothes at first. How she'd longed for the comfort of her robe.

  A shot rang out in the night. Rell and Markel fell to their knees, their hands over their heads.

  "What was that?" he asked.

  "Get out of here," a voice called from the tower.

  Rell looked up. The barrel of a rifle stuck out of a hole in the tower. Another shot fired. The ground next to Rell exploded, dirt flying around them.

  "Why are they shooting? I thought you had friends here," Markel said.

  "I do," Rell answered. "But maybe not enough."

  They crawled, keeping their heads low. Rell ventured another look back. The muzzle was still trained on them. Perhaps as long as they kept moving away, they wouldn't be fired on again.

  "So we head back underground. Then what? We can't stay on Phoenix,” Markel said.

  "No." Rell's hands sank into the dirt. "We can’t. There's too much at stake."

  The dragzhi awakened, exerting its control over her. Rell stopped crawling. She stood, her hands shooting up into the air. "I surrender!"

  "What are you doing?" Markel hissed. "They're going to shoot you."

  "I have to go back. I have to!" Rell walked toward the tower, against her better judgment. The dragzhi inside had come back into power, forcing her toward the defenders.

  "Stop, or I'll shoot! I swear it!" the voice from the tower called out.

  Fear blossomed in Rell's chest, spreading throughout her body. Still, she couldn't stop herself. Her feet shuffled forward, one after the other, through the power of the dragzhi.

  "Rell!" Markel called out. "Come back."

  Rell tried to yell back to him, but the words wouldn't come.

  "One more step and you're dead!" the voice yelled.

  Rell closed her eyes, tightening her muscles as hard as she could, trying to stop. Her right knee twitched. Energy traveled down the back of her calf, through her Achilles tendon, and down to her foot as she put pressure on her toes.

  Tears streamed down Rell's cheeks as she fought the dragzhi. She wouldn't let it control her. Not anymore. Her hands balled into fists at her side. She wasn't sure if that was her action or the dragzhi's. All of her attention was focused on her foot.

  "Rell, what are you doing?" Markel yelled behind her, his voice strangled. "They aren't kidding. Don't play chicken!"

  Rell wanted to tell him she wasn't. She wanted to scream at him to run away. To save himself. But she couldn't. Her lips were frozen, her throat choked.

  They will not shoot you. They are bluffing, the dragzhi insisted.

  Rell knew they weren't. If Leila gave the order to have Rell shot, then she would be. She would die on the orders of Torsten's sister. Leila would have her payback, finally, for Mellok's death. And she could easily justify it by telling everyone Rell disobeyed the order to turn away.

  Rell would die. So would the dragzhi.

  Humans are weak. Move. NOW!

  Rell felt her foot lifting as she took the step she'd tried so hard to stop.

  A shot rang out.

  Rell fell, hitting her head on the ground. Something slumped down on top of her.

  A body.

  Markel's body.

  "I couldn't let them murder you." His voice bubbled through the blood dribbling from his mouth onto Rell’s clothes. One shuddering breath later, his body ceased all movement.

  Rell lay trapped under Markel's dead body. Shock held her captive. Not even the dragzhi could force her to move.

  She closed her eyes. Waiting, for what she didn't know.

  Time passed. Minutes? Hours? She had no concept of time.

  The familiar grinding of the tower door unlocking echoed in the night. Footsteps pounded toward her.

  "Rell!" Torsten. He'd come. Of course he had. He always came for her.

  She moved her lips, trying to respond, but nothing came out. The pressure on her chest was too great. Her breath faltered.

  I was wrong.

  "You're damn right." It came out muddled, her words slurring together.

  "Don't move," Torsten whispered in her ear. "They think you're dead. Leila let me come out here to claim your body."

  Rell obeyed, though she wasn't sure she could have moved even if she wanted to.

  Torsten rolled Markel's body off of hers, and finally, she could breathe. But she kept her breaths shallow, so prying eyes from the tower couldn't see her move.

  "I'm taking you. Rutger will take the dead man," Torsten said. "Remember, stay limp. Let me care for you."

  Rell kept her eyes closed as Torsten's arms snaked underneath her. He hefted her into his embrace, holding her as if she were a ragdoll. Rell remained limp, her head cradled in his arms.

  "I have to hide you somewhere safe. Somewhere they won't look for you," Torsten said.

  "This guy is heavy," Rutger complained behind them. "Who is he? A grounder?"

  "I don't know," Torsten answered. "Just keep your mouth shut for once. Help me get Rell someplace safe."

  As they trudged farther away from the tower, the sound of the waterfall got louder. Rell opened her eyes and looked up at Torsten.

  Maybe it would have been better if she'd died. The dragzhi might die, too. Then she wouldn't have to carry this burden anymore. She took in a deep breath, wincing at a sharp pain. It paled in comparison to losing Markel. There was so much she wanted to learn from him. In mere moments, he sacrificed it all to save her.

  Torsten glanced down. A smile spread across his goofy face. "You're going to be okay."

  She tried to answer, but found she couldn't take in a deep enough breath without pain.

  "Shh. Don't talk for now. I think that guy landed on you when he was shot. The impact might have been enough to break a few ribs. You weren't shot, though. You'll recover. I promise." Torsten stepped under the waterfall, the droplets tickling her face.

  "Come on, Rutger. Down here." Torsten nodded his head toward the opening with the stairs.

  "Back underground again?" Rutger whined. "Should I just dump this guy's body in the river? Let the fish eat it?"

  "No!" Torsten yelled. “That’s a horrible fate.”

  "Catacombs," Rell said on an exhale. They honored their leaders by burying them in catacombs. Markel deserved the full treatment.

  "Did you hear that?" Torsten asked Rutger. "They have catacombs. That's where we'll put him to rest. Now, Rell, really. Be quiet. Please."

  She dipped her chin in a small nod, letting Torsten carry her underground.

  23

  Torsten kicked open the door to the pod where he and Rell had hidden weeks ago.

  He laid Rell carefully on the bed in the corner. "I hope that wasn't too jarring. Are you okay?"

  Rell nodded. "Hurts." She gasped the word, more than saying it.

  "I know." Torsten brushed her hair from her forehead. "If you can tell me how to find medicine, I can heal you like you once healed
me."

  Rell shook her head. "No." She took a shallow breath. "Buried."

  "They're back?" Torsten raised an eyebrow. "I knew you were going to try to talk them into coming to the tower. I thought maybe they'd stayed behind at the church."

  Rell closed her eyes. "Here."

  "And I suppose they're likely to be hostile toward me, just like they were before?" Torsten asked.

  Rell grimaced. "Yes."

  "Okay, I’ll head back to the tower. I'll send Tatsuru out with something to heal you. It won't take long. Will you be okay alone?" he asked.

  Before Rell could give an answer, the door was flung open. Rutger stood in the doorway. "Found the catacombs. Dropped that guy's body off. Now what?"

  "Actually, can you head back to the tower? Send Tatsuru here with some medicine so we can heal Rell's broken ribs. Do it quietly, though. I don't want anyone, especially my sister, to know she's still alive." Torsten glanced down at Rell, whose eyes had closed.

  "Right. If Leila asks where you are, I'll tell her you're out in the jungle weeping and tearing the hair from your scalp over the loss of your beloved Rell." Rutger smirked. "You know she'd believe that."

  "Probably because that's what I would be doing if Rell were actually dead." Torsten looked down at the woman who had captivated him from the first moment he saw her, glad she was asleep and couldn't hear their conversation. "Whatever you do, hurry."

  Rutger saluted Torsten, then took off in a jog down the tunnel.

  Torsten rested his pack on the floor. He’d brought the dragzhi along, unwilling to leave it in the tower unprotected. After following the dragzhi's advice about his mother, Torsten had learned the truth. His mother’s bones were in the river outside the tower. After he and Archer had performed a few tests, everything the dragzhi said proved to be true.