Scattered Ashes

by Megg Jensen

  "About that," Torsten said. "Can you give me access? If we're discovered, I'd hate for you to be implicated." He also didn't want Archer there when he and the others left. She would see them carrying Rell to the shuttle. No one else could know she was alive. It was too risky.

  "I figured you'd ask that," Archer said with a sigh as they entered the lift. "After you leave the library, I'll add your credentials to the security system. The sensors will recognize your prints. Do you remember where they are hidden?"

  "Yeah. Thank you so much, Archer. Really. Without you, I don't know what kind of hope we would have. It will take months to rebuild one of the ships capable of interplanetary travel. At least this will give us a head start on making contact with the outside." They stepped out of the lift and into the secret vault.

  Torsten tried not to look at all of the amazing artifacts hidden within. It was a dream of his to examine anything and everything archaic, but for now, he had to put aside his studies. Rell needed him. The humans needed him. If they could get help from dragzhi dissidents, then maybe they would have a chance against the tark, too.

  Archer gave Torsten a shy smile as he left the library. There was someone standing outside the door. Though the man wore a defender’s uniform, Torsten couldn’t remember having seen him before.

  "Are you Torsten?" the man asked. Sweat pooled at his hairline.

  "Yes," Torsten answered cautiously.

  "Someone needs you. Come quickly. She asked me to find you." The man grabbed Torsten's elbow, propelling him forward with a surprising amount of strength.

  "Who?" Torsten asked, stumbling to keep up.

  The man looked down the hallway, and seeing it was empty turned to Torsten with grave eyes. “Rell needs you.”

  27

  "We don't have much time. Let's go." Torsten ran toward the lift. He pushed the button repeatedly, even though he knew it wouldn't go any faster. He turned his attention to the man who'd come for him. "Who are you?"

  "I serve Rell. She is one with the gods." The man's eyes lit up as he spoke.

  Torsten considered correcting him, then decided to keep his mouth shut. It was Rell's call to decide how much people knew about her condition. She hadn't even told Torsten yet.

  "I'm Torsten." He held out his hand, fingers splayed.

  The buried man looked at Torsten's hand quizzically. "I'm Joshua."

  Torsten dropped his hand, remembering the buried didn't greet each other in the same way the defenders did. "How long have you known Rell?"

  The lift doors opened, and the two men stepped inside.

  "Not long. At first, I thought she was crazy. Maybe she'd spent too much time aboveground. She told us her story, and I dismissed it. Then, she showed me the truth." Joshua placed a hand on the wall to brace himself, clearly rattled by the speed of the lift. His blond hair flopped over one eye.

  "How did she show you the truth, exactly?" Torsten asked. Knowing Rell, she'd only given Joshua a partial truth. For someone who had been raised to give all of herself to her gods, she was very good at manipulating others.

  "I was holding her in my arms, and she moved us from underground to your quarters." Joshua's eyes sparkled with wonder.

  Torsten tried to ignore the part where he mentioned holding Rell in his arms. It must have been innocent. Rell was too injured to do anything. Still, it stung.

  "How is she?" Torsten asked.

  "She isn't well. Do you have a way to save her? She claimed the medicine wouldn't help. She wouldn't even let me try." Joshua stumbled as the lift came to a gentle stop.

  The doors opened. Torsten glanced down the hall. No one was in sight. He yanked Joshua out of the lift.

  "I can help her,” Torsten said. “But sometimes Rell can be her own worst enemy. She is what she told you, but there is more. I need you to promise that if I tell you one thing, and Rell tells you another, you will do as I say. If you agree to this, I will let you help me heal her. If you can't, then I’ll eject you out that window." Torsten pointed to a hermetically sealed pane of glass down the hall. He couldn't open it, even though the tark had found a way through. He couldn't even put a hole in it with a blaster. But Joshua didn't need to know that.

  Joshua nodded, his eyes wide. "I want to save her. She is one with the gods."

  "Good. Then I will tell you why she is so ill. Rell is possessed by an evil demon."

  Torsten hated himself for playing into Joshua's religious fears. Unfortunately, he couldn't think of another way to convince the man to do as he said.

  "A demon? She seems so kind and honest." Joshua's voice fell to a whisper.

  "It's hard to believe, but we have to help her. The only way to do it is to expel the demon from her. Do you understand?" Torsten asked.

  Joshua pursed his lips. "I will do anything to help her."

  Torsten clapped Joshua on the shoulder. "Good. Then, let's get back to her."

  The two men jogged down the empty hall to Torsten's room. Torsten raised his hand over the panel, and his door opened.

  He wasn't prepared for what he saw inside.

  "Leila!" Torsten tried to keep his voice calm. Better than anyone, his sister knew when he was hiding something. "What are you doing here?"

  "I came to see you, dear brother, and look who I found." Leila sat in a chair next to his bed. Rell lay on the bed, her skin gray and her breathing light. "Rell's not dead. Isn't that funny, because I could have sworn you told me she was."

  Rell looked up at Torsten, her eyes struggling to stay open. "Sorry."

  "Sorry?" Leila laughed. "Don't you think it's a little late for that?" She set a cruel gaze on her brother.

  "Leila, come on. Rell didn't mean to kill Mellok. It was an accident.” Torsten had told her this repeatedly. He was beginning to doubt she’d ever believe him.

  Leila sprang out of the chair. "Stop it. Don't even say that. You don't know what it's like to lose someone you love."

  "Yes, I do." Torsten reached out for Leila's hand. "We lost our parents. I know exactly what it's like."

  "It's not the same. I wanted a future with Mellok." Leila's eyes moved to Joshua. "And who is this? I don't recognize you."

  "He's—” Torsten started.

  "Stop!" Leila glared at her brother for a moment, then turned back to Joshua. "I asked who you are, defender, and I expect an answer."

  Joshua's eyes flitted to Rell, then back to Torsten. He stood up straighter, his jaw set. "I am Joshua, under the command of the gods. I'm here to protect Rell, who is the savior of the buried. You should show her respect."

  Leila's jaw dropped. "You're a buried? Wearing a defender uniform?" She turned to her brother. "Is this yours?"

  "Leila, just leave. Please. Forget what you saw here," Torsten pleaded with his sister, even though he knew it wouldn't do any good. Once Leila got hold of something, she wouldn't let it go.

  "You know I can't do that, Torsten." Leila crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm in command. I can't order her shot and then let her traipse around the tower like what I say means nothing."

  "You don't have to worry about that," Torsten said. "No one will know she's here."

  "Yeah, just like no one will notice Jason—”

  "Joshua," he corrected.

  Leila ignored him and continued, "Someone will see them, and talk will spread. I can't control the others if they think I'm lying. I won't do it. We need to be united, Torsten. All of us. You included. We have enemies in space. We now have enemies on the ground, too, thanks to your girlfriend Rell."

  "Girlfriend?" Joshua asked.

  Both Torsten and Leila ignored him this time.

  "She won't be here long. We're leaving," Torsten said.

  "Where are you going?" Leila asked, her eyes narrowing.

  "If I tell you, then you'll have to lie. So, how about you pretend you didn't ask, and I won't answer?" Torsten stared down his sister. It was rare for him to stand up to her, and the surprise in her eyes showed it.

  "I can't let you do t
hat."

  "I don't need your permission to do anything."

  Leila pulled her gun from the holster on her hip. She leveled the gun at her brother's chest.

  "You won't shoot me," he said.

  "You're right." Leila swung her arms to the right, shooting Rell in the gut.

  Before Torsten could react, Joshua tackled Leila, her gun flying to the other side of the room. He far out-powered her in brute strength.

  "Get him off me!" Leila screamed.

  Torsten ignored her. Instead, he ran to Rell. Blood poured from her stomach. "No. I'll fix you. I promise. We haven't come this far only to have you die here."

  Torsten pulled a comm unit from his pocket. "Malia," he said, his voice strangled. "Bring a healing device to my room. Hurry!"

  Malia gave a quick acknowledgment, and Torsten dropped the comm to the floor.

  He pressed his hand against Rell's stomach, doing everything he could to stanch the exodus of blood.

  "Do you want me to kill her?" Joshua asked Torsten, his voice eerily calm.

  "No. Just shut her up temporarily," Torsten said, his eyes locked on Rell's.

  A thump, followed by a groan, came from behind him.

  "She'll sleep for a bit." Joshua came up next to Torsten. "Rell? You will be fine. The Menelewen Dored will protect you. Until then, I'll be in the corner, praying."

  Joshua moved out of Torsten's view, but his mumbled prayers filled the room.

  The door chimed, and Torsten commanded it to open. Malia came running in, a med pack in her hand and Rutger on her heels.

  "What the hell happened in here?" Rutger asked.

  Torsten ignored him. There would be time for answers later. He scooted over, making room for Malia. "Leila shot Rell. You need to stop the bleeding. I can't let her die like this."

  Malia set to work, using various instruments on Rell. "I've got this. Now move."

  Torsten backed away, his hands covered in Rell's blood. He stood on shaky legs, then slowly sank to the floor. He thought of what he'd almost done with Archer, and he wanted to be sick. Rell was the only one he wanted. He'd almost turned into someone who let his hormones control him, rather than forging his own path. He was like those other kids who'd tormented him growing up. For a moment, he'd confused who he was and who he didn't want to be.

  "She'll be okay. Malia will fix her up," Rutger said.

  "No, she won't." Torsten struggled to speak. "Malia might be able to close the hole, but the damage has been done. There are things you don't know."

  "Tell me, then. Let us help." Rutger's seriousness wasn't lost on Torsten.

  Torsten looked over at Joshua, who was still praying in the corner of the room. Torsten leaned in, whispering to Rutger so Rell couldn’t hear. "Rell has a liquid dragzhi inside her. She's been fighting it, but it's winning. And when it leaves her body, she’ll die. So, I plan to take her into space to a group of dissident dragzhi who might be able to remove the dragzhi and heal her."

  Rutger laughed, holding his stomach. He sobered up quickly when Torsten glared at him. "You're serious?"

  Torsten nodded.

  "So when do we leave? You weren't planning on going without me, were you?" Rutger asked, acting wounded.

  "No. I want Malia to go, too. I planned for that, actually. I'm not sure what I would have done if you'd have said no." Torsten looked over at Malia and Rell.

  The blood seemed to have stopped gushing, and Malia's ministrations were more gentle than frantic.

  "You can count on us, Torsten. You know that," Malia said over her shoulder. “But Rell doesn't have long. Whatever your plan is, we need to move right away.”

  "And me. Don't forget me." Joshua stood in the corner of the room, his hands still locked in prayer. "I will do anything to help Rell."

  "Who's that?" Rutger asked, pointing at Joshua with his thumb.

  Before Torsten could answer, Joshua bowed. "I am an acolyte of the Menelewen Dored. I serve Rell."

  "You could die." Torsten felt he had to warn the man. It was one thing to run errands for Rell. It was another to go into space and face aliens head on.

  "Death in service to the gods is rewarded in the afterlife." Joshua recovered Leila’s gun. "Your sister won't mind if I borrow this, will she?"

  Torsten couldn't help but laugh. Leila's chest was moving up and down, her breathing steady. She would be okay, and she certainly didn't need her gun while she was passed out.

  "As soon as we leave this floor, I'm calling healers to come here and help Leila. It'll be a while before she can tell anyone what we're up to." Torsten stood. "We can leave now, if everyone is ready."

  "I will carry Rell." Joshua knelt in front of Torsten's bed, his arms already snaking under Rell's prone body.

  She, too, was passed out. That was probably for the best. The pain would be unbearable if she were awake. Torsten bent down, meaning to kiss her lightly on the forehead, but Joshua blocked him with his elbow.

  "Never kiss a woman while she's sleeping unless you know for a fact she would want you to." Joshua nudged Torsten out of the way.

  Torsten thought of Archer, and her lips on his, and how for a brief moment, he hadn't pushed her away. It felt like a betrayal, and maybe Rell wouldn't want him to kiss her after that. "Fine. Let's move, then. Everyone, follow me.”

  28

  Rell's head bobbed. Her eyes opened. Lights assaulted her from all angles. Struggling to make sense of where she was and where she was going, Rell tried lifting her head. The exertion seemed to tug on every muscle in her body, sending waves of pain up from her stomach, to her ribs, and then to her head.

  She felt like her skin was on fire.

  You were shot. The dragzhi said it smugly, as if to prove a point.

  She was still dying. Except now it seemed even more inevitable.

  She remembered the blond man, and how she'd taken him from underground to Torsten's quarters. She'd begged him to find Torsten. Maybe she was in Torsten's arms now.

  I need a new host. Soon. Whom shall I choose? The young man you're always thinking about? No, too interested in books. The man with the knives? No, too obsessed with himself. The young woman he follows around? Perhaps. She has potential. Ahh, but the one who is carrying you. Joshua. I find him most intriguing. He wouldn't fight me. He would take me in as his god. He would love me.

  The gunshot wound was causing her additional pain. She remembered the blood. Torsten's terrified face. She remembered he wanted to kiss her, but Joshua hadn't allowed it.

  Rell wished he would have. Even if she was terrible at showing it, she was falling for Torsten. Despite everything she'd been taught growing up, she had finally learned to love.

  Only now it was too late. Her body refused to heal while the dragzhi was inside. And if the dragzhi left, then that would be the end. They were intertwined forever.

  Perhaps her gunshot wound would be a blessing. It would set her free before the dragzhi had a chance to kill her. The pain would cease. The struggle would be over.

  "Come on, everyone, into the library." Torsten's voice floated somewhere nearby. Joshua changed direction, taking Rell into a much darker space than the hallway they'd been walking through.

  The library? Rell knew Torsten liked books, but was this the right place to go?

  Joshua carried her past rows of shelves, blurred in her diminished vision. The pain clouded everything, from her thoughts to her hearing to her vision. She saw everything through a hazy lens now.

  Joshua followed them through the library, until finally they entered another lift. His knees buckled and his arms tightened around her as they began their descent.

  It felt as if it took forever, but it wasn't long before Rell could smell the distinct scent of earth. They were somewhere underground. Though Joshua's sure steps were across an even surface, no amount of walls could erase the damp veil of underground air.

  "Climb in carefully." Torsten's voice floated back to her. "You'll have to keep Rell on your lap for the duration.
Rutger, you’ll be holding her feet, okay?"

  "Of course. I promise not to tickle her toes, if that's what you're worried about," Rutger said.

  Always making jokes. At times, he annoyed Rell, but today, she was grateful. It took her mind off the pain, if only for a moment.

  After a few jarring movements, each followed by an intense jolt of pain, she was settled in the back seat with Joshua and Rutger. If she opened her eyes the slightest bit, she could see the back of Torsten's head. Her vision was fuzzy, but she'd know him anywhere.

  "I don't want anyone to be afraid," Torsten said, "but I've brought someone else with us."

  Rell heard gasps and a string of curse words from Rutger.

  "No way," Rutger said. "I like you Torsten, but I'm beginning to think you've lost it."

  "The dragzhi is coming with us? Wouldn't it be better if you left it here?" Malia asked.

  "I doubt the dissident dragzhi will help us if it's left behind on Phoenix," Torsten answered.

  The dragzhi inside Rell popped up. What? My brother is a dissident? I cannot have it here. It must be destroyed.

  Rell felt the dragzhi's fear course through her veins like ice.

  We must stop it. We cannot reach the other dragzhi. They will destroy me.

  Rell's mouth twitched at the corners. It was the best smile she could muster in her current state. Her arm fell to her side, her hand resting on Joshua's hand. A tiny tendril of the dragzhi slipped out one finger and connected with Joshua.

  I am the Key, it whispered into Joshua's soul despite Rell’s attempts to quiet it, you must do as I command. Tell no one I'm communicating with you.

  Rell screamed in her head, hoping Joshua could hear her voice, too. He laced his fingers with hers, then squeezed her hand.

  You must send out a distress signal. Do as I say in the name of the Menelewen Dored. Squeeze if you understand.

  Joshua squeezed Rell's hand again.

  Tears formed at the corners of her eyes. The dragzhi wasn't using just her. Now it was using Joshua, too. She couldn't move. Couldn't speak. There was nothing she could do to stop it.

  Reach to the comm screen next to your armrest. Type in this string of numbers and hit send. The message will reach my brethren. They will save us.