The Bitches of Everafter: A fairy tale (The Everafter Trilogy Book 1)

by Barbra Annino

  Tink backed away and shook her head. “You can’t take my property. That’s illegal.”

  Bella said, “I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to record a bathroom conversation too.”

  “Not to mention throwing a rock at a windshield,” said Snow.

  “And assaulting a peace officer,” said Aura.

  Tink chewed her bottom lip. She swung her head from left to right and scanned the group.

  “But, that was all in the line of duty.” Her hands were stuffed tightly in the pockets of her pastel-colored dress.

  Bella tapped her foot. “I don’t think the judge would see it that way.”

  “She’s pretty much a stickler for the law,” said Aura.

  Cindy snorted. “Yeah. Just look at us.”

  Snow said, “You don’t want to be like us, do you Tink?”

  Something shifted in Tink’s eyes, and a slow smiled spread across her face. She bit her lip.

  Snow cocked her head and looked at Aura. Aura’s brow was wrinkled at first, and then, something seemed to dawn on her. She crossed her arms. “Or maybe you do.”

  Tink vehemently shook her head. “No! No I don’t.”

  Aura stepped forward. “Oh yes. I’ve seen the way you look at Doc. You want to spend more time with him, don’t you?”

  Snow snapped her head to Aura. What was she up to?

  Punzie said, “Oh yeah? No problem. What about you give us the tape and don’t say anything to the judge about what you may have heard and we’ll set you up on a date with Dr. Feel-good?”

  “No!” said Snow.

  They all looked at her. Aura reached over and pinched her.

  “Ow. I mean, how? How would we do that?” Snow said.

  Tink’s eyes widened and her ears twitched.

  Punzie said, “No problem. I’ll take care of it.”

  “So is it a deal?” Cindy asked.

  Tink looked at Punzie, her eyes full of hope. Then she seemed to think better of the idea and shook her head. “No. No deal. I have integrity, and that’s what Jack respects. I’ll win him all on my own.” She straightened her spine. “And you should be concerned about your housemother. What have you done with her?” The little sprite narrowed her eyes and flared her nostrils.

  Bella ran a hand through her chestnut hair. “Plan B it is then.”

  “W-what’s plan B?” Tink asked.

  Bella stepped forward and put her hands on Tink’s shoulders. “Plan B is we stuff you in the trunk of my car, drive you up to the canyon and feed you to the coyotes.”

  At this point, Snow would have stepped in, but something about the pixie’s crush on her love had scrambled her brain momentarily. She stood there, waiting for the scene to play out.

  “You wouldn’t dare,” Tink said defiantly.

  Bella pulled out a roll of duct tape, and faster than a blink she hog tied the Pixie right there in the alley behind the restaurant.

  That snapped Snow out of her trance. She pulled Bella aside and said, “You’re not really going to stuff her in the trunk of your car, are you?”

  Bella whispered out of the corner of her mouth, “Relax, Princess. I’m reading to some wayward kids today at the juvie home. I’m going to spike her slushy or whatever the hell she drinks, and stick her in a classroom. She’ll blend right in, and by the time it wears off I’ll have the recorder and she won’t remember a thing.” She looked at Tink squirming on the ground like an overturned beetle. “Who knows, maybe she’ll learn something.”

  “I think that plan needs work.”

  “Do you have a better idea? Because I’m not going to take another strike. I have no idea how long she’s been doing the Devil’s dirty work, or what she may have on me, but my time in Hell House is almost up and I don’t plan on sticking around this dump of a town after that.”

  Punzie said, “Well I’d love to stay and help, but I don’t want to.” She and Bob shuffled off to the club.

  Snow tapped her foot. She needed to tell Bella what was going on, but without the book, she suspected Bella wouldn’t believe her.

  Wait—

  “Did you say you were reading to children?”

  “That’s my assignment today. Why?”

  What if she stumbled across the book? What if she read it? That would be horrible. But how could Snow stop her?

  “Is there a specific story you have in mind?”

  Bella shrugged. “They seem to like vampire stories. Couldn’t keep them on the shelves when I worked for that pervert. Thought I’d go with that.” She narrowed her eyes. “Why?”

  Why indeed. “Just curious.”

  Bella gave Snow a dubious look.

  Snow tried to sound chipper. “A bit of advice. Stay away from fairytales. Kids hate those things. Especially anthologies.”

  “How the hell would you know?” Bella crossed her arms.

  “Oh, um, I...”

  Aura stepped in then. “I saw those books in your car, Bella. I borrowed one if that’s all right. An old lady on my route mentioned she wanted something to read next time I dropped off her meal.”

  Bella looked from Aura to Snow. Snow blinked at her and Aura smiled.

  Bella wagged her finger at them. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you nutjobs, but when we’re done with our community crap, the three of us are going to have a chat.”

  Snow shrugged. “Nothing’s going on.”

  Aura scoffed. “Of course not.”

  Bella eyed them suspiciously. “Yeah, right. Help me get this dragonfly into the car.”

  Tink writhed on the ground, attempting to scream as Cindy tried to stifle her with whiskey. It sloshed all over the fairy’s dress.

  Bella turned around and slapped the bottle from Cindy’s hand. “You dipshit, I can’t slip her into the school if she reeks like a distillery.”

  Aura tapped Snow’s shoulder. She winked and mouthed the book.

  Snow flashed her eyes to Bella and gave a slight nod. Aura nodded back and Snow almost cheered. She had found Bella’s story nemesis.

  All they needed now was Punzie’s. And then, maybe they could work together to find a way home.

  35

  You Can't Take the Hood Out of Robin

  After Robin made certain the women had entered the community center to attend their group therapy sessions, he circled back around to Granny’s house. The session would last at least an hour and after that they usually grabbed a bite at Gretel’s, giving Robin plenty of time to investigate. That’s what he told himself he was doing anyway. Investigating.

  Robin hadn’t committed a crime since he was a boy, and even then he’d considered his acts of thievery a kind of social service. He believed it profoundly unfair that some had so very much while others had little to nothing. Especially when those with nothing dedicated their lives to building the wealth of others. He learned too, simply by observing their behavior, that the rich and prosperous rarely appreciated or even kept inventory of their possessions. So if a bakery shoppe was about to toss out its two-day-old bread, what harm would it do to intercept that bread and deliver it to a single mother raising four children? Or if the banker had sixteen jackets and only wore three of them, why not take the others and pass them out to the men who tended the fields in rags?

  As Robin stood at the back door of Granny’s house picking the lock, he couldn’t help but think that those memories seemed like a lifetime ago. A world away. So far away in fact, he could hardly recall the names or the faces of the compatriots who had joined his cause. He wondered, as the tumblers shifted and clicked in the lock and the door yawned open, if his old friends knew he was a lawman now.

  Or rather, had been a lawman. He didn’t know what he should call himself anymore. Maybe he would open a private practice. Robin Hood, P.I. That had a nice ring to it. Marion could mind the phones, perhaps do the technological detecting that Robin wasn’t very skilled at. Yes, he thought, maybe that’s exactly what they should do. He would run the idea by Marion as soon as he
drummed up the nerve to tell her he had gotten fired.

  It wasn’t that he was afraid of how she might react to him when he delivered the news. She loved Robin, supported him no matter what, and he her. It was that Robin feared Marion would get herself in trouble by unleashing her temper on the judge. How many times had he heard her say, “I do not like that woman!”

  Robin Hood adjusted his hat as he scanned Granny’s spacious, drab kitchen. He had never been in this room, so he thought he may as well start here. It was surprisingly clean. Not a dirty dish in sight, and there were fresh flowers on the table, which he found odd but endearing. It put a smile on his face. Perhaps Granny’s girls weren’t as callous as they pretended to be.

  He began his search by opening cabinets and drawers, sifting through the pantry, the refrigerator, even the stove. Truth be told, he had no idea what he was looking for, but something strange was going on in this town and it all seemed to center around this house. Or at the very least, around the women beneath its roof. Questions had been swarming his mind ever since the judge had assigned these women to Robin’s caseload. And even more so since she had fired him for...for what anyway? Not finding any more charges to slap on them? That made no sense. It was almost as if she didn’t want them to succeed. As if she was determined to lock the women up forever.

  As he made his way into the hall and toward a room marked “Do Not Enter,” Robin wondered for the second time that day where Granny had gotten off to. It wasn’t like her to leave the house too often except for Saturdays and Sundays, and even then she’d only take a few short hours to satiate her shopping urges. He hoped she was all right. Perhaps he should pop into her favorite haunts, ask if anyone had seen her. She was elderly after all—she could have gotten confused or fallen ill.

  Robin checked the handle on the door labeled “Do Not Enter” and discovered it wasn’t locked. It was a small space, so he had to scrunch down so his head wouldn’t smack the ceiling. He flipped on a light and found himself surrounded by dusty ball gowns, tiaras, slippers, and other garments best left to storage or a costume shoppe. He sighed and closed the door behind him.

  Robin wound through the bookless library next, and his thoughts turned to Bella. It seemed strange to him that a lover of literature like her boss, Harvey, would transform his little bookstore into a vulgar peepshow. He almost felt sorry for Bella, but she’d broken the law and she had to face the consequences.

  And now you’ve broken it too, he reminded himself.

  He searched the dining room, carefully listening for any sign of Granny or the women. There was nothing suspicious there, either—just formal china, antique furniture, and dusty old rugs. The next door he came across was also marked “Do Not Enter.” This one was locked, so he used one of his tools from the old days to rectify the situation and found himself staring at a room filled with nothing but clocks, with numbers painted and pasted to the walls. He couldn’t think of a reason for such a room to exist, except that Granny’s brain may have gone around the bend. He shut the door and continued through to the parlor and the roll-top desk.

  He rummaged through the drawers, glancing through timecards and files on the girls who’d stayed at Granny’s house. He found several copies of Granny’s rules, receipts, tax records, canceled checks, to-do lists for Hansel, chores lists, grocery lists, pens, notepads, paperclips, and the general junk that most people keep in their desks.

  Back in his thieving days, Robin had learned that antique desks such as these often harbored secret compartments. They were cheaper than safes, and most thieves wouldn’t think to break into a wooden desk. Occasionally, the woodworker would install a separate storage caddy beneath the main drawer. Robin checked and found none. Another option was a fake backing that when removed, revealed several smaller compartments. He moved the desk away from the wall and tapped the back. Nothing there. A third trick was a second roller within the roll top. Robin reached his hand inside the desk, carefully holding the roll top down as far as he could with his other hand. He reached up and back, sliding his fingers along the inside of the rolling cover until they stumbled over something cold. Metal.

  He fumbled around and found a simple brass fastener. No lock mechanism. With one twist, the second roller swooshed down from the inside and papers spilled onto the desk. Robin reached to pick them up when he heard the growl of a two-hundred pound canine behind him.

  36

  Who's Been Sleeping in My Bed?

  Three hours, eight dog walks, sixteen litter box changes, and a whole lot of furry love later, Snow White, ruler and mediator of the United Kingdoms of Enchantment and newest volunteer at the Everafter Animal Shelter was ready to take on the world. If only she knew where that world was located.

  She sighed, said goodbye to her new friends, tied her hoodie around her waist and stepped out under a stormy sky. She smacked directly into Hansel on the sidewalk.

  He was drinking something blue and eating something brown and they were now mushed together on his white shirt.

  “Oh, Hansel, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there,” she said. She was wearing a silk scarf and she removed it to mop up the mess she had created.

  Hansel simply stood there a moment grinning at her. “Hey, that’s okay. It’s not every day a gorgeous woman ravages my body.” He discarded the remainder of his beverage and what must have been a muffin in a nearby trashcan. Then he sauntered back to her, put his hands to his sides, lifted his gaze to the sky and said, “Go to town.”

  Snow stepped back. “Very funny.” She smirked at him. “And a bit pervy.”

  Hansel bowed. “My apologies, Madam. It shan’t happen again.” He reached for her hand and kissed it softly, his left arm twined around his back.

  Snow was smiling until the moment his lips brushed her skin. When Hansel kissed her hand, something electric passed through Snow’s very being. It rushed through every nerve and muscle in her body and sailed straight into her heart with a rollicking jolt. She felt it pulsate and her breathing intensified. Her blood pumped so rapidly she thought she might faint, but she caught herself and focused on slowing her breaths.

  What was happening?

  Hansel grabbed both of her arms to lend Snow support. “Whoa, easy there, Snow. I’ve got you.”

  His eyes were filled with concern, fear...even—was that caring? Snow shifted her gaze to the sidewalk. She didn’t want to see what she was seeing, feel what she was feeling, this...passion. Not for Hansel. They’d only just met here in this world. And back home, he was simply a friend. The brother of her army leader.

  Cindy’s true love.

  Snow watched a large ant gather the crumbs of the muffin Hansel had been eating before she smashed into him. It collected every last bit of food before scurrying off to meet up with its colony and enjoy the rest of its short life. She recalled reading somewhere that ants had memories—that soldiers could lead the rest of the army to food sources that would feed the queen.

  She wondered, in horror, how many memories of her own life she had lost since they had been catapulted into this land. What had happened to her colony? Her head was a swirl of meetings and moments in Everafter and Enchantment, all mixed together as if they’d been plopped into a blender and spat out with no rhyme or reason to their meaning or order.

  No matter how deep she dug, she couldn’t recover a single romantic tie between she and Hansel. And yet, his touch was familiar, his kiss, intimate. The way he smiled at her when he bent his head to read her face. How his golden eyes swirled with fireworks.

  “Are you all right? Snow?”

  At the sound of his voice, that word charged through her head again. Betrayal. At first, when she’d heard the word inside Granny’s house, she’d thought it was a message sent to warn her, as a fairy godmother might, of impending danger. She realized now the word ran through her mind whenever Hansel was near. What was it he had said on the stairs of Granny’s house? Oh, you’re a threat all right, Snow White. The kind of woman who inspires a man to sla
y a dragon, relinquish his throne, or fall on his sword for just one kiss.

  Snow felt her hands grow clammy and her stomach somersault as an alternative theory wormed through her thoughts. Were the whispers for her? Had she betrayed Jack?

  How long had she been trapped here? What had happened back in Enchantment before this curse? What had she done there that she would forever regret?

  The very notion made her ill, but she had to try it on for size. See if it fit.

  “Seriously, Snow, say something or I’m going to pick you up and carry you straight to the hospital.”

  She slipped from Hansel’s grip and backed away. “I’m sorry. It’s the heat. I just got dizzy for a moment. I’m fine. Really.”

  She studied him, searching for a sign that they had been lovers, but her mind was too foggy now to focus.

  Hansel didn’t look convinced. “Let me walk you home at least. There’s a few things I need to take care of over at Granny’s anyway. I can make you something to eat and you can rest while I work. Then I’ll check in on you after. Maybe we could watch a movie or something.”

  He reached for her again and she wrenched away as if she’d been burned.

  Hansel’s smile faltered. He scratched his head and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Look, Snow, I was just joking earlier. I’m really not a creep.”

  Snow gave a shaky laugh that even she didn’t believe. “I know that, Hansel. I just don’t want either of us to get into trouble. You know. With Granny.”

  He pressed his lips together as if he knew that was a feeble excuse. Which, given all that Snow knew now, it was. But she couldn’t very well tell him the truth. That she was in love with Jack and that once upon a time, Cindy had been his fiancée.

  Good Heavens, what a mess they were all in.

  “Hey, I get it. But I am going to walk you home. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”