His Secret Baby (A Bad Boy Romance)

by Waltz, Vanessa

“So, you’re offering to set me free? I can just take my son and get out of here?”

  “Well, not exactly. I can’t force a man to give up his child, especially when that child has already been blessed, but I can get you out.”

  For a second, I consider it. I picture myself leaving the syndicate, walking out those front doors and carving a life of my own somehow. Daniel, my beautiful baby boy, gone from me forever. Something inside me tears at the thought of him gone. I’d never recover from the loss.

  “And leave my son behind? Are you insane?”

  “I thought that might be your reaction,” he says, not at all looking surprised.

  Heat flares in my chest as he stands up from the couch. “So that’s it? That’s all the help you have to offer me?”

  “Is there anything else you’d like me to do?”

  “How about give me back my fucking son! I want him with me, not looked after by a bunch of strangers!”

  “I can’t get involved in that.”

  “What good are you?”

  “I can take you down to the daycare right now and show you that it’s perfectly safe for your son. I can allow you access to visit your son whenever you want, but I won’t tell your husband what to do with his kid. That’s his right.”

  Can’t, I think furiously, or won’t?

  “He’s my kid. I do not need permission.”

  His gaze softens. “I’m not saying what he’s doing is right. Life isn’t fair. You think I want to be here anymore than you do?”

  “At least you have a choice.”

  “Come with me to the daycare. My wife and I use it all the time for our daughter.”

  Because there’s nothing to do and because I can’t stand the thought of strangers touching my child, I stand up to follow Silas out of the room.

  * * *

  Through a long, rectangular glass smudged with fingers, I see bright yellow walls plastered with children’s drawings. Brightly colored cubbies sit in a row for all their shoes. There are boxes of Legos, balls, books, little craft tables smeared with remnants of Play-Doh, a plastic kitchen set, and everywhere I look I see happy children playing. The carpet barely has any scuffmarks and the walls almost shine.

  “It looks very new.”

  Silas looks through the glass, smiling, his arms crossed over his chest. “I had it remodeled. Come inside.”

  Several of the women watching the children beam at Silas as he swipes his keycard and opens the door. A cacophony of laughing, talking, and crying blasts me as I walk into the daycare. Some of the kids recognize Silas, who must visit them often. An older, gray-haired woman in a bohemian dress greets him.

  “Here to check up on Emma?”

  “Mrs. Blackthorn would like to visit her son as well.”

  It takes me a few seconds to realize he means me.

  “Of course!”

  There’s another door, which leads to much quieter room that seems to be designed for children under a certain age. There’s a small row of cribs and a play area with pillows and a rug.

  “Emma is asleep. Do you want me to wake her?”

  “Nah.”

  A black-haired woman sits on the rug in a dress that looks too fine for getting baby spit-up all over it regularly. There’s no mistaking that heart-shaped face and that sickly smile as she greets Silas. I hang back for a moment, and realize that my baby is in her lap. She has her fingers around his tiny stomach, tickling him slightly. Daniel screams with laughter and Violet bends her beautiful head to give him a kiss on his head.

  Take your fucking hands off my son!

  I’m about ready to fucking lose it. Silas walks inside, oblivious to my heart pounding loudly against my chest. I only have eyes for Violet.

  I march over to the rug where she’s playing with my son. Violet’s hands circle protectively over my son’s body as I bend over to pick him up.

  “Are you supposed to be here?”

  “Mama!”

  Daniel recognizes me with a gleeful cry, and I take the opportunity to heave him out of Violet’s reluctant grip. I open my mouth to snap at her that I’m his mother, and I can visit him whenever I damned well please, but Silas beats me to the punch.

  “She’s allowed to visit her son whenever she wishes, but she cannot leave with him without Thane’s permission. Is that understood?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  I hug Daniel to my chest and notice that his diaper needs to be changed, and then I step around both of them to head toward the bathroom.

  “Um, excuse me.”

  I ignore her.

  “Christine!”

  Needled past endurance, I stop and turn around. “He needs his diaper changed. Do I need your permission to do that as well? I’ll answer that for you—No, because I’m his goddamn mother!”

  Silas’ mouth stretches in a grim smile, placing a conciliatory hand on Violet’s shoulder. By the time my words ring into silence, she has tears running down her cheeks. Tears. A sting of guilt hits my chest as Silas pats her shoulder awkwardly and frowns at me. Heat burns my cheeks as I take Daniel into the bathroom to change him. I look at my frowning face in the mirror, and then at Daniel’s naked body. I don’t know why I’m searching for marks. She really does seem like a nice woman.

  Then why do you feel the need to act like a complete bitch every time you interact with her?

  I know that there’s no good reason why I should dislike her. She’s done nothing wrong, except show a little too much attention to my husband, and even that’s not a crime. Thane is a handsome man, and Violet’s husband is, there’s no other word for it, old.

  I finish changing Daniel, who giggles when I tug his clothes back on, and then I resign myself to go outside and apologize.

  Violet stands over one of the cribs, her long curtain of hair hiding her face. Silas is nowhere to be found. I approach her tentatively.

  “Um—Violet? I’m really sorry for snapping at you. I’ve been a bitch to you, and you really don’t deserve it.”

  She looks up at me, her eyes only slightly pink. “Silas says that you can stay here for as long as you want,” she says, not even acknowledging my apology. “You should thank him.”

  “I’m not going to thank anyone for allowing me access to my son. It’s my right to see him whenever I want,” I say as politely as I can.

  She covers her mouth, and for a second I think she’s crying again until I hear the sound of her simpering giggles. “It’s your right? Where do you think you are, sweetie?”

  Sweetie?

  “I don’t care where the hell I am. No one can keep me from my child.”

  “They can and they will. You think this is bad now? Keep up with your rude behavior, and you’ll never see him again.”

  “Is that a threat?”

  Her hand tightens on the edge of the crib. I see her knuckles turn white. “I’m one of the most powerful women in this place. I take care of the leader’s child. He trusts me. Your husband trusts me. I would be really careful how you talk to me. Maybe you’ll find yourself completely barred from visiting your son.”

  I change my mind. She’s a cunt.

  “I’d like to see you try, bitch.”

  She raises her eyebrows and looks around her as though embarrassed for me. It incenses me even more.

  “You really shouldn’t use that kind of language around him, don’t you think?”

  “No, what I think is that you should mind your fucking business. He’s my kid. Get your own!”

  Violet’s face flushes with an ugly shade of puce. “Chances are we’re going to end up raising him, and you’ll never see him again.”

  My heart hammers against my chest, my worst fear confirmed. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Do I have to spell it out for you?” She faces me, still wearing that sweet smile that is completely at odds with the poison in her words. “You’re just Thane’s fucktoy. Once he’s tired of your shit, he’ll get rid of you and find another bitch to whelp his chil
dren.”

  Daniel whines from the pressure applied to his back. I look down, realizing that I’m squeezing him too hard.

  She’s wrong. She’s just fucking with me.

  “You’re lying.”

  She laughs, a high, delirious sound. “You should tell that to Mrs. Lee. She got a bullet in her chest when the last leader decided she wasn’t a good fit for this place, and you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to be one of us.”

  Could there be a grain of truth in that story? She sounds convincing, and her steely gaze bores into me, daring me to call her wrong. How can I when she knows the syndicate better than I do? She’s not lying about the women dying in this place. Even I heard about it when I was in hiding. I remember filing it away in my brain, not wanting to dwell on the horrors there, but everything Violet says brings all the fear I’ve been suppressing back to the surface. My ribs squeeze every last breath from my lungs. Before I know it, my back hits the door, and then Violet takes a step forward.

  “What are you doing?”

  I twist the doorknob behind me and fall back. Nothing is more important to me than Daniel’s body, warm under my chin. They’re not taking me away from him. I won’t let them. I won’t! I stumble into the cheerful room filled with children and navigate through the maze of toys.

  There’s a man with a rifle right outside those glass doors. Shit. How come I didn’t notice?

  “Excuse me, Mrs. Black—”

  “Don’t touch me.”

  Someone’s hand shrinks from my arm.

  “Christine, what are you doing?”

  “I’m leaving—I’ve had enough.”

  “You can’t do that!”

  I grab the door, Daniel in one hand, and I pull violently.

  “Stop her!”

  The guard moves like a giant rock, completely blocking my path with the rifle in both hands.

  “You do not have clearance to take the child.”

  “Get the fuck out of my way!”

  Feminine hands pull at my arms, and for the first time in my life I want to hurt and maim.

  Daniel voice rises in a wail as Violet tries to grab him.

  “Don’t touch him—don’t you dare take him from me!”

  The older woman looks at me with sympathetic eyes. “You’ve got to leave him here.”

  “It doesn’t make any sense!” I scream at them both. “He’s my child—mine!”

  The guard grabs my shoulders, forcing me still as that cunt grabs my son’s waist. He screams, reaching for me, but I don’t want to hurt him in a tug-of-war. A desperate sound I’ve never heard before tears from my throat when Violet cradles the baby in her arms. The other woman turns away, but Violet watches me buffeted back by the guard, a small, triumphant sneer playing on her lips.

  * * *

  There’s nothing left to do in Thane’s apartment, but cry, scream, and take out my emotions on whatever inanimate objects he has lying around.

  She was lying to me. She was telling the truth. Thane’s not a good man, but he wouldn’t kill the mother of his children unless God, or the syndicate told him to. I just don’t know.

  What I do know is that bitch is playing some kind of game with me. My gut tells me that it’s rooted in jealousy. She wants Thane’s cock. Is that what she’s trying to do? Drive a wedge between us?

  Goddamn it. I have bigger problems than Violet’s petty jealousy. Wives were murdered here in cold blood, and as much as I’d like to believe Thane wouldn’t hurt me, I don’t know him at all.

  Tread really fucking carefully.

  The sound of a baby’s wails echo down the hallway outside the suite. It’s Daniel’s voice. I stand up from the couch, slightly trembling as I hear the soft beep of the keycard. The door swings open, admitting Thane and my very pissed off baby.

  It’s remarkable how much of a relief it is to see my husband, even though he’s the one who brought me here. His hair is swept back, his eyes dark and foreboding. There’s a shine of color rising in one of his cheeks, and then it hits me for the second time today that I still have no fucking idea who he is. What he is.

  Thane walks right past me, tossing his keys aside on the kitchen counter. He ignores me completely as he walks into the living room, in front of the giant windows overlooking the city, and he kisses his son’s head. Daniel squeezes his eyes shut and screams, but Thane keeps bouncing him in his arms, talking to him in a singsong voice. Gradually Daniel’s cries subside to whimpers, and then finally silence. Thane holds him in his arms, a smile broadening his face. I’ve never seen him look at anything with so much tenderness. My feet scuff against the floor, and he looks at me. The smile evaporates and the moment is extinguished.

  “Thane—”

  He holds up a threatening finger before he walks into the nursery where he gently places Daniel in his crib. His cheeks are still raw from tears, but at least he’s asleep.

  Thane backs away from the crib, and I follow him outside, nausea building inside my throat. The door shuts, and then I’m swallowed by his presence, by the fact that we’re all alone here. That was usually enough to make my skin tingle with pleasure, but now there’s fear, too.

  “Well, Violet is in hysterics. She says you barged in the nursery—”

  “—She’s lying!”

  “—Called her a bitch—”

  “She is a bitch.”

  “And then you tried to leave with my son.”

  “I wasn’t trying to leave!”

  Fuck, this isn’t going well.

  “They told me they had to drag you away from there.”

  “I was trying to take him away from that evil bitch!”

  Thane pinches the bridge of his nose. “She’s the most harmless woman in the syndicate.”

  “Why the hell is she so obsessed with our son?”

  “She’s not obsessed.”

  “You didn’t hear the things she said. She seems to think that she’ll be the one raising our son.”

  He looks at me for a long moment, searching for a lie. “She doesn’t have any children of her own. They tried for many years, but it never happened.”

  “Why did she marry a man in his sixties?”

  He smiles wryly. “Same reason a lot of girls do. To get out of the whorehouse.”

  “She’s a whore?”

  “Was a whore,” he corrects me sharply.

  This is what I’m up against. The darling of the syndicate. The poor, beautiful woman forced to marry a man twice her age who couldn’t give her children. Poor Violet. No matter what, I’ll come out of this looking like a bitch.

  “Did you ever fuck her?”

  His smirk is devious now, and I feel a blush rising to my cheeks. What a stupid thing to ask him, and yet, I’m curious to know the answer. He wraps a hand around my waist, his fingers spreading over the small of my back. It’s like a rush. His other hand buries in the back of my head, and I sigh with the feeling of his fingers gently raking my scalp.

  “Why do you want to know? Would that make you jealous?”

  It only takes a split second image of Violet’s magenta lips wrapped around my husband’s cock for me to be filled with rage. Not her. Anyone but her.

  “Yes.”

  He hovers above me, his mouth slightly parted. “You don’t need to be jealous. After you, there wasn’t anyone else. There will never be anyone else.”

  I touch his waist, every inch of me burning from his words. I wrap my arms around him, breathing in his smell. The hand at my neck moves to my shoulder, fingering my bra strap. Instead of slowing down, my heart speeds up.

  “What do you want from me?”

  Wordlessly, he touches his palm over my flat belly. Babies. Right. To propagate the Blackthorn bloodline.

  “Why the fuck is that so important to you?”

  His hand moves back around my waist, setting off a million nerve endings. “I don’t have anything else, Christine.”

  I sense that there’s more to it than he wants to let on. P
ain dents his eyes.

  “I’ll give you whatever you want.”

  “Ah, but you have nothing to bargain with. Your body is already mine, sweetheart.”

  “Yeah, but I could make your life a living hell if I wanted to. All I want is more time with our son.”

  He cocks his head, searching for a lie somewhere on my face. I guess he’s satisfied, because he slowly nods.

  “You’ll have more time with him, but you’ve got to hold up your end of the bargain.”

  “Which is what exactly?”

  “I need another son.”

  “What if it’s a girl?”

  “I want kids, Christine. That means girls and boys.”

  “How many pregnancies do you think I’m capable of having?”

  “It’s important to me.”

  His cloying scent is around me. It’s distracting.

  “You know what’s important to me? Freedom.”

  “Why the hell would you want to go back to that shitty apartment in San Leandro?”

  “At least I was free.”

  “You weren’t safe there, hon. You would’ve been robbed and raped, and when you think about it that’s not really freedom, is it?”

  “That’s not true.”

  “I’m glad I got you out of there.”

  “Like this place is so much better. He can’t even play outside.”

  Thane continues his sensual massage of my lower back. His fingers creep under my shirt and blaze with the heat of my skin.

  “There’s a park in the city. Dolores Park. It’s on a small hill. We can take him there when he gets older.”

  It hits me like a sledgehammer. All those summers ago, my mom would take me to Mission Dolores Park. The memory shines like a bright candy wrapper. Bubblegum, hot dogs, fizzy drinks that foamed into my nose, and catching grasshoppers with my bare hands. A boy next to me, his knees just as dirty as mine. He showed up at the playground one day, looking like he didn’t know what to do with himself. He stared at the other children gallivanting around the playground, swinging on the monkey bars, and just stood there. At least, until there was a game of lava tag and we needed someone to be it. What was his name? Sean?

  The park disappears from my mind as Thane’s broad hand sweeps up my back, exposing my skin to the sting of the cool air. He finds my bra clasp and teases it out with an expert twist of his hand. My breasts bounce, freed from their constraints as my bra falls limp from my arms. A tingling sensation spreads over my skin as his hands grope around my chest to my breasts, hot in his hands.