“What the fuck?”
I ignore her outrage, digging my fingers into her scalp to make her stop squirming. Then I slap her again. I let my hand rain three times on one cheek, one after the other.
“That fucking hurts!”
“Good. Maybe you’ll remember not to fuck with me again.”
Fawn tries to raise herself on her elbows, but I yank her hair.
“Bastard.”
“Admit that you made a mistake, and I’ll stop.”
“No!”
Stubborn bitch.
Fine. It’s not like I’m not enjoying this. My palm smooths over the angry red burn on her cheeks, and she lets out a small moan. “No!”
I love the way blood rushes to the surface of her skin when I spank her. Each blow makes her squirm, and I feel the movement stimulating my cock as it grows hard under her. By the seventh spanking, she twists her head around, screaming.
“Okay, okay. Stop it!”
“Not until you say the words.” A smile pulls at my lips as my hand cracks down on her again.
“I made a mistake!”
She shakes over my lap, her body trembling in anticipation of another blow.
“There. Was that so fucking hard?”
“Yes.”
I caress her raw skin, admiring the way my fingers show up stark white above the red burn. “You’re not going to make a scene like that in public again.” She hesitates, and I gouge my fingers in her ass. “Right?”
“Right.”
“You’re going to stay the fuck away from Viper.”
“Yes.”
Anything less than an immediate “yes” and I would have flogged her again.
I pull her upright so that she’s still sitting on my lap. Fawn’s lip curls, her eyes stinging with tears.
“Don’t give me that look.”
“What?” she says with an edge in her voice.
“You know what.”
“Fuck off, Silas.”
I get it. She’s pissed that I humiliated her, but I’m angry, too. She’s the one who put her life at risk for nothing.
“You don’t have the right to be angry with me,” I tell her. “You didn’t give a single thought about what your death might do to me.”
For once her face mirrors that poisonous feeling circling my chest: shame.
11
Fawn
I look at his darkened figure. The slope of his back is the only part that I can see, and it rises and falls with his labored breaths. He turned away from me as soon as he slid under the sheets, and I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling.
What your death might do to me.
At first I thought it meant retribution, but I knew the reason ran deeper than that. The way his voice cracked when he spoke said it all, really.
Why the hell am I feeling guilt?
Viper is a mad beast who needs to be put down. I thought I was doing the world a favor, but instead I get chastised. I get screamed at in my face about it. Yes, I’d probably be dead by now, but at least no more of my friends would die.
An orange tinge bleaches the walls of the skyscrapers as I look out the window. I think of last night, wondering if anyone heard our raised voices. I wonder how many screams are being stifled in this building at this very moment. Viper’s dictatorship even seized control of the newsletter service. No mention of the body count over his bloody ascent to the top.
How can Silas expect me to sit tight and do nothing?
I dress quickly as Silas lies there, unmoving. I reach for my scrubs, but I know that it’ll just infuriate him if I go back to the infirmary. My ass is still raw from yesterday.
Bastard.
I dress in street clothes and lace up my boots, sitting on the edge of the mattress. A creak of the floorboards makes me whirl my head around, and then I see my husband standing at the foot of the bed in all of his naked glory. Silas crosses his arms over his broad chest, looking fully alert. It’s as if he didn’t sleep either, except I know that he did. He always wakes up so quietly. It scares the hell out of me.
He takes a few steps toward me, and I can’t help but feast my eyes over the flat chest, his rippling biceps, and his fat cock, hanging proudly out in the open.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
It’s hard to speak when he’s so close to me, demanding my attention.
“Out.”
His tone is clipped. “Where?”
Fuck, I don’t know where I’m going. I just need to get some air.
Mind your own goddamn business. That’s what I’d like to say, but I’m all too aware of his hands, twitching at his sides.
You’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
I don’t know where I heard the phrase, but it suddenly strikes me. My heart shudders as I stand up and place a palm over his extremely warm chest. He looks down at my hand and then to me.
“I just want to get out for a bit.”
“Not happening.”
“Just to get some air. Promise.”
His heartbeat thrums into my skin. “I’ll go with you.”
“You really don’t have to come with me. Go back to sleep.”
“I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
Fine.
I let out a loud huff as I sink back onto the bed as he steps around me and fishes for a pair of boxers. Silas rubs his eyes, his face pinched with fatigue, and a fresh wave of guilt hits me. Because I don’t want to do this to him. He gets little enough sleep as is, and now I’m dragging him out of bed because I feel like taking a stroll.
Silas doesn’t utter a single complaint as he pulls on a pair of dark-blue jeans and a t-shirt. Technically he’s supposed to wear the syndicate member uniform at all times, but fuck that. It’s six in the morning.
“Ready?” he asks me as he laces up his boots.
“Yeah.”
The door shuts behind us with a secure snap and I walk down the halls that used to feel like home. It’s a bit awkward. My head is still buzzing with what happened last night and I wonder if he’s still pissed off, but I can’t tell a thing from looking at his face. As we take the elevator down, Silas slips his hand in mine and his thumb strokes my skin. I squeeze him back as a weight I didn’t even know I was carrying lifts over my shoulders.
I watch the small stream of people through the glass. In and out. The elevator dips below the lobby and opens to the bright underground mall. There are a few stores in the mall, plus a small food court and theater. It’s not really meant to compete with the shopping in Union Square, just to provide members with the basic necessities. At this hour we’re completely alone. The mall echoes with our footsteps, the recently cleaned floors reflecting Silas and I, hand in hand.
“This place has its own mall? Jesus.”
“The fact that the syndicate has a mall surprised you? Not the whorehouse or the hospital?”
He gives me a half shrug. “A lot of MC gangs have club whores and their own doctors on payroll. I’ve never seen anything like this.”
“We’re more than just a gang, Silas.”
Do I still believe that?
“Yeah. You’re a cult. Any place that makes me bleed into a fucking stone basin and lights it on fire is a cult.”
I roll my eyes. “Every gang has their rituals, Silas. You might as well call La Cosa Nostra a cult, too.”
A smile broadens his face. “I thought you said you weren’t a gang?”
I fold my arms and turn away from his laughter as I seethe.
“Oh, come on.”
“You just don’t get it. You’ve never been a part of something bigger than yourself. This cult has done a lot of good things for the Bay Area. We’ve funded homeless shelters to clean up the city, we’re major donors to several children’s hospitals in the area, we buy out failing local businesses and resurrect them.”
“You’re just listing money-laundering schemes, sweetheart.”
I can’t stand his huge grin. It pisses me of
f so much that I walk several feet away from him, wishing he had just stayed behind.
“Don’t be angry. You know I’m right.”
A brightly colored piece of paper catches my eye on the bulletin board sitting in the middle of the mall.
INAUGURATION PARTY - MANDATORY FOR ALL MEMBERS
Inauguration party? I walk closer to the cheery, bright-red paper.
To celebrate the new change in leadership, we will be hosting a ball in the lobby at 7 p.m. this Friday. Come join us for a night of feasting and celebration!
I stare at the exclamation point for a few seconds, fighting a rising tide of anger. Change in leadership? Not “Viper’s slaughter of the Council.” It galls me that he thinks he can sweep this shit under the table with PR speech. I grab the edge of the paper and rip it off the notice board, leaving a huge chunk behind. My hand curls, crumpling it as I head toward a wastebasket.
“What’s that?”
“An invitation to his stupid party. Viper’s,” I clarify when Silas looks lost.
“Oh, that. Yeah, I already know about it. Members are required to go.”
The snake thinks he’s won already. We’re all playing into his hands by going to this stupid party he’s hosting.
I stop in my tracks.
There will be hundreds of disenfranchised syndicate men there.
This could be it.
* * *
Silas wets his hair with his fingers in an attempt to tame his unruly mane. His jaw is still damp from shaving, but there’s a bit of cream on his neck that he forgot to clean up. My dolled-up reflection leans in as I wipe it from his neck with a cloth.
“Missed a spot.”
He gives me a rare smile through the mirror, one that makes his face glow. He grasps my neck with his damp hands, and his lips brush against my cheek. There’s real warmth in the kiss, and my heart thumps hard against my ribs. My skin tingles like a thousand minuscule needles gently pricking after he lets me go, and I try to get used to the strange sensation.
“Michael.”
He raises an eyebrow at my tentative voice as he loops his tie around his neck.
“I think I have an idea to take down Viper.”
“Oh yeah? How’s that, genius?”
The condescending tone grates at me. “It would be at the party.”
He lets out a bark of laughter. “No.”
“You’re not listening.”
“The day I listen to you on how to do my job is the day I resign. No offense.”
He’s right. I don’t know the first thing about killing a man, but I was willing to do it, wasn’t I?
“It’s going to be the perfect opportunity.”
“Security will be at an all-time high. I have a better chance of getting shot than getting within two feet of striking distance of that prick.”
Hope fizzles like the aftermath of a firework.
“If I wanted to just get in and get out, there would be ways.”
“Then why don’t we do that?”
He struggles with the tie. “We can’t just leave, remember? We’re stuck here. I need support before I take him down. That’s what this party is all about for me.”
“How can I help?”
“You can help me with this fucking tie.”
I let out a long-suffering sigh and grab the tie from his hands. The fabric of his suit is coarse against my fingers as I turn him to face me, watching the tic in his jaw. Something has him on edge. It has to be this party. I loop the tie through the knot and pull it against his throat.
“Seriously. I want to help.”
“Enjoy the party and stay the fuck out of it.”
Heat rushes to my face at the bite in his words, and I turn to leave the bathroom, but not before Silas snakes his heavy arm around my waist. His lips brush my ear and my heart pounds.
“You look beautiful.”
A seal of his lips makes the butterflies dance. Then his fingers curl into my body and he keeps planting kisses up my neck, each one hotter than the last. The space between my legs heats up.
“Promise me you’ll behave like a perfect wife.”
“Michael—”
“Do it for me.”
He turns me around and his freckled green eyes paralyze me like they did the first time we met. I wonder if he suspects my feelings for him. If I behave like a perfect wife and we win this thing, then what? Where the hell is this marriage going?
A swift pain hits my lungs because I can’t figure out exactly where I fit in with his roaming lifestyle. Is he going to leave me here when everything is over? He can’t leave, but he never said he’d play by the syndicate’s rules.
Silas’s eyebrows knit together. “What is it?”
“You’re going to leave this place, aren’t you? Even if they hunt you down.”
The longer I keep staring into his hardened eyes, the more I ache.
“Fawn, you knew this was temporary from the beginning.”
“I know, but…” I let my sentence trail off as he gently holds the side of my face, and the hurt pounds in my chest.
“You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, Fawn. You’re selfless, brave, and sexy as fuck, and whoever you end up with will be a very lucky man.”
My eyes glaze over with tears. “But I want to be with you.”
“Baby, we can’t. I wish I could keep you with me, but I would never forgive myself if you got hurt.”
“So that’s it, huh?”
“Fawn—”
“No. You come in here and bulldoze over my fucking life, uproot everything I’ve ever known, and then you just walk out?”
“I’m not one of your syndicate men. Call it a gang, a cult, whatever the fuck you want, but I always avoided them.”
His thumb strokes my cheek as tears roll down my face. It’s such a tender gesture, and I hate him for touching me like this, making me think that we actually had a shot. “Only because of what happened when you were a kid.”
“It has nothing to do with that,” he says, eyes flashing. “It has to do with being owned by someone I can’t fucking stand, being ordered to do something I don’t want to do.”
“What if you were doing the ordering?”
A tentative smile staggers over his face. “What?”
“You could replace Viper.”
It sounds insane when I say it out loud, but the more I think about it, the more it takes root in my head.
“I haven’t been here long enough, and besides, I’d never want leadership of this place.”
“You have to take it! What if Viper is replaced by another psychopath?”
His jaw clenches shut. “I didn’t come here to save this place.”
I back away from him, horrified as the truth blows up in my face. Once he’s gone, another violent bastard will take Viper’s place, probably one of his men. The killing won’t stop, and I’ll be back where I started. Just another syndicate slut.
“Why did you even marry me?”
“Fawn…”
“Was it all bullshit? Do I mean anything to you?”
“Of course you do. You know that.”
“No, I don’t!” I scream at him. “All I see is the man who killed my father to fuck me. Now you’re done and you’re just going to leave.”
“Really?” he shouts back. “I killed your pathetic excuse for a father because that man gave me no choice, and Viper wanted him dead. He was the one who put me up to it.”
My skin freezes and I clutch my arms as though a sudden chill breezed through the apartment. So he’s the one responsible—of course he was. My body crushes against his as he grabs my shoulders and pulls me into his warmth. I succumb to it, hiccupping a sob as his jaw slides over my head.
“I’m not going to leave you. Not until I know you’re safe.”
My eyes burn again and I ball my fists into his dress shirt, seeking out his heat. I knew he wouldn’t, because he cares about me. Anguish chokes my voice, shuddering through my body.
Another sob racks my chest as he wraps his arms around me, hugging me almost tight enough to suffocate me.
* * *
The lobby looks like a jewel. There are golden garlands draped down the staircases, and the syndicate whores are dressed in subdued golden dresses as they float among the crowds, balancing trays of cocktails and hors d’oeuvres. Pristine white tables cover the marble floor, and each one has a set of golden candles with a glass centerpiece. There’s an orchestra playing classical music, and the musicians wear black tuxes. A savory, delicious smell wafts through the air, and I see wooden boxes filled with steamed dim sum. There are fucking cupcakes with white frosting and little black dragons. People are laughing. Having a good time. It’s as though a few weeks ago, Viper didn’t slaughter the leadership of the Black Dragons. Jesus Christ.
I recognize a girl walking up the stairs in taupe heels and a formfitting red dress. Her hair is slicked back into a sleek bun and there’s a dainty golden chain surrounding her neck. She balances a tray of champagne glasses filled to the brim with bubbly liquid. She’s one of the syndicate’s whores. I saw her during my brief stay down there. Her eyes gloss over both of us and then snap back to me. Suddenly she pauses mid step as her lips thin.
She must hate me for marrying my way out of the brothel. It’s not something that happens very often. Syndicate men will fuck around with the whores, but will rarely date one exclusively. Marriage is unheard of. A pipe dream.
Silas grabs two flutes from the girl’s tray and presses the glass into my hands. My fingers curl around the delicate stem and my heart does a flutter when he says my name.
“Remember what I said.”
“Which part?” I ask in an airy voice.
“Fawn.”
“Relax. I’ll do what you said.”
A slow, sexy smile tugs at his lips. Giddiness rises to my throat like the bubbles in the champagne.
I’m in love with him.
It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. The way he lightly grabs my wrist, his voice sliding into my ears like silk, and his smile. My eyes mist and I want so badly to tell him because I feel like any minute could be our last in this place. And, yes, part of me hopes that maybe he’ll change his mind.
His Secret Baby (A Bad Boy Romance) Page 35