by Sarah Price
“Why, that boy’s not that sick anyhow!” Jacob grumbled. “Don’t know why you insist on making such a fuss over him. We’ve been working all morning and he ain’t complained none to me.” Jacob shook his head and walked away, obviously displeased to have lost a field hand.
Leah watched as Tobias kicked open the kitchen door and walked back across the driveway toward her. He looked less pale than the previous days. Maybe he wasn’t as sick as she thought, but she had a feeling, in the pit of her stomach, that something just wasn’t right. How she disliked those feelings because they were usually right!
At that moment, there was a rustling sound, the sound of tires on the gravel, on the driveway by the store. Glancing over her shoulder, Leah saw Michelle driving her car into the parking lot by Whoopie Pie Place. Always on time, she thought as she lifted her arm and waved. Michelle waved back and Leah started walking up the lane.
Michelle had a wide smile on her youthful face. Leah couldn’t help but think that she was such a kind-hearted soul, a true blessing to the Amish community, but especially to her family. Wouldn’t hurt a fly, Leah said to herself.
Or a turtle, she thought, hiding a snicker as she remembered the one time that Michelle’s kind-heart almost lost her a world of business among the Amish.
It had been a few years back when Michelle had been driving Henry Swartzentruber, one of the elder Amish men in the community, to a horse sale they were having in Mt. Hope at the auction house. While going down County Rd 77, traffic heavy, and vehicles approaching in the opposite direction, Michelle ran off the road trying to avoid a snapping turtle that was crossing. Although no one was hurt and it was just off the road in a little grass, the sudden swerving of the vehicle had scared Henry.
Later that same evening, old Henry had taken it upon himself to call the chat line, the one used by the Amish, to expose the incident and report that she was a reckless driver. Almost immediately, Michelle stopped getting calls from the Amish that needed drivers. In distress, she came to visit Leah. Leah knew immediately what had happened and made it a point to call the chat line to help rectify the situation.
At the time of the incident, Leah hadn’t explained to Michelle what had happened. It was too complicated. After all, she knew that Michelle, like most Englische, were unaware that the Amish used such a telephone number to call for news. They simply call the chat line and, after entering a code, all the recent news was played for them. Besides the spreading of gossip through visits with neighbors, the chat line was a major contributor to the “Amish Grapevine”. Later, when Leah had finally told Michelle, they both had shared a good laugh and the story had continued to be an inside joke between the two of them.
The honking of the van horn brought Leah back to reality. Time to go.
“You going to stand in the middle of the road all day or do you want me to take you somewhere?” Michelle yelled good-naturedly as she hung her head out the van window and waved toward her friend.
“Ja, I was just thinking that I hope no turtles cross our path on the road today,” Leah retorted teasingly before she turned and gestured for Tobias to hurry along, for he was dawdling so. What is it with him, she wondered. As she got into the front passenger seat of the van, Leah greeted her friend with a smile. “We are taking Sadie with us too.”
Michelle nodded but didn’t say anything.
Leah set her purse on the floor in-between her black sneakers. “She said she called you for a ride. She’s going to see someone at the hospital. Sounds peculiar to me. Haven’t heard of anyone at the hospital from our g’may.” With a tilt of her head, Leah studied Michelle for a moment. “You know anything about it?”
Michelle made a simple shrug of her shoulders, neither responding to the question, nor really avoiding it. Instead, her eyes flickered through the window and toward the store. “We need to hurry or you’re going to be late. I think I see Tobias coming, but where is Sadie?”
At that moment, Tobias opened the back door and tossed his shoes onto the floor before he sat. He gave Michelle a half-hearted grin as he scooted into the seat and shut the door. Only then did Leah realize that he was holding a sandwich in one hand and his shoes were on the floor.
“Tobias Miller!” she scolded. “Now I know that I clearly instructed you to wash your feet and put on your shoes!”
“Mmmph,” he mumbled, pausing to shove more of the sandwich into his mouth.
“Speak so I can understand you,” Leah exclaimed, frustrated at his lollygagging.
Swallowing the food in his mouth, he looked at her, his blue eyes sparkling. “You said to wash up. No mention of my feet.”
Michelle choked back a laugh and turned her head to look out the window, hiding her amusement at Tobias’ response. Leah, however, gasped at his sassiness and gave him a look. “You knew exactly what I meant,” she said disapprovingly.
“Ja, ja,” he retorted playfully. “If it makes you happy, I did wash my feet. I just didn’t have time to put my shoes on ‘cause I heard the horn honk and I needed a sandwich. Reckon you’d rather have my feet dirty than being late, ja?”
Shaking her head, Leah knew better than to question as to why Tobias washed his feet yet came out of the house barefooted. What was the use? And to see him eat anything these days was always a blessing. Looking at Sadie as she climbed into the van, Leah was thankful to have at least one sibling who didn’t give her cause to worry. Or did she?
Leah
“I don’t understand,” Leah said as she sat in the doctor’s office. “What do you mean you want to put him in the hospital and run more tests?”
The doctor sat across from her, his elbows on the desk as he peered at Leah from behind the thick glasses perched on the tip of his nose. He was a patient man, used to dealing with the Amish and their lack of knowledge regarding modern Englische medicine. “His blood cell counts are too low, Leah. We need to run more tests and, depending upon the results, we may be looking at needing a bone marrow transplant.”
Leah repeated the words in her head: bone marrow transplant. She would have to ask Michelle to use that Google thing to find out more information about this. “What does that involve?”
The doctor took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. “Well,” he started, averting his eyes. “We like to have a haploid-identical match.” He paused and quickly translated that word, which was foreign to Leah. “A parent.”
“Oh.” Her heart fell inside of her chest.
“If that is not possible, there are siblings but they are not always matches,” the doctor continued.
“There are five siblings in the area,” Leah offered enthusiastically. “One of them will be able to donate, ja?”
The doctor shrugged his shoulders, but not in an unkind way. “That truly depends, Leah. We have to test everyone to see if they would be a genetic match.”
“But this is only if his leukemia had worsened?,” she said hopefully.
There was a long pause. The doctor removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He seemed hesitant to respond to Leah’s question but, after taking a deep breath, he cleared his throat. “I think you need to be prepared for that possibility, Leah.”
She knew what that look meant. It had been a look that she had seen many times in the past, both before and after her mamm and daed had passed. She could translate his words without needing to know how the Englische often circumvented the obvious by adding I think or you should to the facts. Vagueness was an Englische trait that Leah had learned to interpret many years ago.
“I understand,” she said stiffly, collecting her purse onto her lap. The grey pleather exterior contrasted with her black apron and purple dress. “When will we need to run these tests and when would the results come in?”
The doctor seemed to change modes, from empathetic bearer of bad news to medical expert with a plan. It was clear that he was more comfortable with the latter than the former. He began to talk swiftly and discuss the different tests that needed to be condu
cted and, depending on the results, when they would want the family members to come in for testing to see if they could be a donor.
By the end of the meeting, Leah’s head was spinning and she wished that she had brought Sadie with her, knowing that her sister could have taken notes and helped organize what the doctor said. As it was now, Leah could barely think straight, never mind remember what the doctor said.
“I’ll have my nurse, Jamie, call over to the hospital to make all the arrangements for Tobias. They’ll be waiting on him when you get there.” Coming around his desk, he lightly patted his hand on Leah’s slumped shoulder. “He’s going to be in good hands, Leah. You did the right thing by bringing him here as soon as you did.”
“We have to go now? We have to take him to the hospital now? No going home first?” Leah spoke quietly as she tilted her head to look up at the doctor. She hated the quiver in her voice, knowing that it exposed her panic. If there was one thing she had learned to dread, it was leaving Tobias overnight in the hospital. Hadn’t her own mamm often spent the nights alongside his bed? But that had been years ago and her other kinner had been grown. Leah couldn’t possibly do the same, not with her little ones at home waiting for her.
“Leah, I’m sorry. But time could be of the essence in his treatment,” he replied. “By the time you get there, we will have it all set up. My nurse, Jamie, will be right in with all the information you need.”
Hearing the doctor leave the room, it took every fiber of Leah’s being to not fall apart.
Gathering her wits about her when the nurse entered the room, Leah listened, as she explained where to take Tobias at the hospital. Handing Leah the necessary papers, she left the room leaving her alone again. How was she ever going to explain this to Tobias? She needed to gather her thoughts before going in search of him. Just breathe, Leah. Just breathe she told herself. God’s will. Remember, God’s will.
As Leah walked towards the door, a sign on the wall of the office caught her attention. It read:
Be still and know that I am God.
Psalms 46:10.
How that spoke to her heart at that precise moment! Leah shut her eyes and said a silent prayer. God would take care of this. She had faith and knew that by letting go and trusting God’s will, she was casting away her worries onto His benevolent presence. That sign was more than just a verse from the Book of Psalms; it was a sign that she no longer had to bear the burden of worry alone.
Oh, how she loved the Book of Psalms. She could remember many nights as a child when her father would read from it to the family in the evening hours. They would sit on the floor or at the table, listening intently as he read from the Holy Bible. Sometimes Daed would ask questions of the kinner, wanting to know what they thought of the verses. Later in life, Leah often thought back to those lessons, realizing that her mamm and daed had always listened to the answers from their kinner with thoughtfulness and respect. Leah could not remember her parents ever reproaching her answers or correcting her. After all, her responses were her own interpretations. And, she had appreciated how her parents would respect that.
Oh mamm, Leah thought, how I need you right now. Yet I am glad that you cannot see Tobias sick again.
Opening the door, Leah found Tobias sitting in the waiting area, his focus on the television hanging from the ceiling. He was so interested on what was playing that Leah had to touch his head to get his attention.
“Leah!” exclaimed Tobias. “You scared me.”
Laughing, Leah replied, “Ja, reckon I did.” She tousled his hair and glanced up at the television. Sports. She smiled. “You were too busy watching that TV, ja? We need to leave now, Tobias.”
Looking around outside, Leah spotted Michelle sitting on a bench fanning herself as though she were a mad woman. “Ach, it’s a scorcher out here,” Michelle said as Leah and Tobias approached.
“For sure and certain. Why are you not in the van with your air conditioning, Michelle?”
Stammering, she tried to think of words to tell Leah so she wouldn’t give away that she was sitting there in hopes to keep contact with Sadie and her whereabouts. “I just thought I would see how you Amish live and see if I could stand the heat,” she replied with a smile.
Shaking her head, Leah spoke, “You Englische people sure do have the most peculiar ways.”
“Are you ready to leave now?” Michelle asked.
“Nee, we aren’t ready to leave yet. Have you seen Sadie? It’s important that she come now from seeing her friend.”
“She was going to see a friend but she didn’t tell me exactly where that friend was. I’m sure she will be along soon,” Michelle said.
Irritated that Sadie was missing, Leah took a deep breath and counted to ten. She knew that her annoyance was not truly with her sister but at the situation that was facing her youngest bruder. With a pounding heart inside of her chest, she finally turned to Tobias and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Tobias,” she began slowly. “It seems the doctor would like for you to stay in the hospital for a couple of days. He wants to run some tests on you to make sure you are all right.”
“Again! I have to stay again!” The look on his face broke her heart and she had to take a deep breath to fight the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. “Aw Leah, I don’t want to stay. I stayed a long time, last time. Are they going to keep me long again?” asked Tobias, his voice whining but with good reason. Leah remembered far too well the other times when he had been in the hospital. Needles and IVs and medicine that made him feel drowsy and uncomfortable…that was all part of the package.
“Nee, just for a couple of days,” she replied, not entirely certain that she spoke the truth.
“Will you stay with me, then?” he asked, a hopeful look on his face.
Swallowing, Leah averted her eyes for a moment. “I…I don’t think I can stay with you this time, Tobias.” Looking back at her youngest bruder, she noticed a cloud pass over his face, the same dark cloud that passed over her heart. “Not overnight, anyway.”
He nodded his head slowly, knowing better than to argue with her. “Nee Leah, I understand you can’t stay with me at night.” He tried to force a smile. “And you best keep an eye on the bakery. Lydia and Susie will have each other’s hair pulled out if you aren’t there to stop them during the day, ain’t so?”
Putting her arm around his shoulders, Leah spoke, “Ach, that’s probably true, Tobias. Of course, if they pull each other’s hair out, their kapps will hide it. Now, let’s get you over to the hospital and have you set up and tucked into your bed for the night, ja?” She glanced over his head and looked at Michelle. “I’ll be certain to come visiting tomorrow morning and later in the afternoon, once the bakery settles down.” As they headed toward the van, she only hoped that she had spoken the truth.
Susie
The house was such a mess! She noticed it the moment she walked through the kitchen door. Despite the silence in the house, it looked as though the kinner had arrived home and been left unattended during the afternoon hours. There were shoes on the floor, a stick by the kitchen table, and pieces of cut-up paper littered the tabletop. Yet, as she looked around, she saw no sign of activity.
She sighed, her chest feeling heavy. She hadn’t counted on Leah taking so long with the doctor’s visit in town. Nor had she counted on seeing Leah and Sadie return to the store, being dropped off by Michelle but missing one person: Tobias. The look on both women’s faces said it all. Bad news had a way of inscribing itself in their expressions. No amount of positive thinking or faith in God could erase the heartache of bad news, especially when it centered on Tobias and his health issues.
Deciding to tackle the task at hand, Susie focused on cleaning. With church Sunday just a few days away, she had a lot to do at home. She knew that the house was a mess. Her kinner were too young to help clean. It was all she could do to keep them from being underfoot in the evenings. Luckily, Merv’s family had volunteered to help clean, along with Leah’s daug
hters, Rebecca and Sarah, on Saturday. Merv’s grossmammi was even willing to help watch the kinner; thank the good Lord for providing such wunderbaar gut small blessings.
While she had managed to wash all of the dishes from breakfast before leaving that morning, she noticed that there were dirty plates, cups, and a pan on the counter. With Gid having been at school all day and Sylvia and David at Merv’s mamm’s, she couldn’t imagine what had happened while she had been working.
“Hullo?” she called out.
No answer.
It was clear that the house was empty. Had the mess been from the morning hours? If so, that meant that they had been unattended before being taken to school and Merv’s mamm’s house. Now, with no noise in the house, Merv must have gone to collect the kinner, leaving the messy room for her to clean. Again. She frowned and set her basket on the floor as she tried to determine what to attack first.
She had left early in the morning, leaving the kinner in Merv’s care. She had warned Merv that she would be home late: Those big orders were looming in the not too distant future. Since his own income was iffy at best, they had no choice. She had to work and he would have to drop Gid at school. The smaller kinner were to go to his mamm’s house and he would just have to manage to get them over to his aendi’s farm where his mamm lived.
Despite his grumbles and complaints, he had reluctantly agreed but told her to take the bicycle instead of the buggy. Susie had sighed but didn’t argue. At least Merv was willing to help out today, she had told herself that morning as she set her bag in the basket of the bicycle and began the fifteen-minute ride to the bakery.