Killing Is My Business

by Michael Todd

  “You bitch!” one of the women screamed, jumping up from her chair.

  “Me?” The other woman stood up, pointing a finger at the first. “You’re the one who can’t keep a man. I’m a good enough friend to point out you are being a bitch. That doesn’t mean I don’t care!”

  Katie glanced at Damian and immediately picked up her basket of fries and grilled cheese.

  She leaned back in her chair as Calvin and Damian followed suit. This was going to be her favorite part of the evening. She was excited not to feel like the newbie anymore.

  There were two very green recruits there to take that place, and it was time for them to start figuring out just how green they really were.

  It was one thing to be new at a job, and another to be new at a job no one knew anything about.

  Jeremy, who was sitting to the right of Katie, put a French fry in his mouth, but he didn’t even bite down. Instead his mouth dropped open as he stared at the women throwing martial arts-style kicks at each other’s heads.

  A few of the nearby tables moved back.

  The smaller of the two women, Faleena, ducked a punch and kicked the other women in the stomach. “I got your ‘can’t keep a man’ right here!”

  “I have to admit,” Jeremy said aloud, “I was expecting a girl fight. Hair-pulling, slapping—you know, the whole nine.”

  “Not these ladies.” Calvin chuckled, holding up his basket. “These ladies could show any one of us tough men right to the motherfuckin’ door. It’s sexy.”

  Katie sat there waiting for the grand finale.

  She looked over at Eric, who suspiciously stared at the others. They were still holding their food up in the air.

  Slowly he raised his as well, catching onto the fact that the whole thing might end in a way that he might not have expected.

  Jeremy, on the other hand, was still completely oblivious to what everyone else was doing. As the women grew closer, the baskets were held higher and farther back. Jeremy’s eyes grew large as the women bumped into others, toppled over pitchers of beer, and threw punches that would knock down a grown man.

  When they reached their table, the larger woman grabbed Faleena by the shoulders, hoisted her into the air, and slammed her down on top of the table, smashing it to the ground. Down went the duct tape-welded table and Jeremy’s food right along with it.

  “Olé!” the group shouted, laughing loudly as everyone in the bar began to clap at the resolution to the argument.

  It never failed. Anytime they were there, it was their table that ended up coming down. It was almost as if it was planned like that, but then again, Korbin did always choose the table in the center of the floor.

  Like clockwork the bartender Robert, or “Bob” to his friends, jogged out from behind the bar with another table over his head and placed it on top of the mess.

  He smiled at Jeremy, realizing that he had obviously not gotten the memo.

  “Ugh.” A groan came from under the table.

  “Ouch.” Jeremy pushed back his chair and pulling his eyebrows together as he looked under the table.

  Faleena’s drunk ass came crawling out with ketchup and smashed fries on her back. Everyone at the table held their laughter in, breathing deeply, giving Faleena time to gather herself and move on. She stopped and bent down, grabbing what was left of Jeremy’s food.

  “Uh, sorry,” she said, shoving it into his hands with a small smile before she turned to leave.

  Everyone at the table burst into laughter as they stared at Jeremy’s very confused face. He watched as she walked back to the same table as the woman who had kicked her ass. Jeremy turned back to the team with his hands out and his mouth open.

  “What the hell?” he asked. “Where did you people bring me?”

  “The finest establishment on the sandy coast,” Calvin answered, raising his glass. “Welcome to Torn Asunder!”

  “Here, here,” everyone else agreed, lifting their drinks. “Torn Asunder!”

  Jeremy shook his head, tossing the smashed basket to the table. He watched as the two women hugged and went back to eating their non-smashed food.

  “I’m pissed,” Jeremy said, half-angry and half-amused. “And I’m hungry,” he finished as he grabbed napkins to wipe off the ketchup. “Fucking hell.”

  “I’ll take care of it.” Calvin chuckled, signaling to Bob and indicating the smashed basket.

  “The first time we brought Damian here…” Korbin started laughing.

  “Oh God,” Damian said, shaking his head.

  Korbin continued, “We bet him that everyone would watch if he, as a priest, picked a fight.” Korbin grabbed a French fry and ate it. “So instead of just picking any old fight, he chose the biggest motherfucker in the place. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone’s body fly through the air like that. Well, not without wings.” His eyes glinted with amusement. “I mean he really grabbed some air.”

  “That guy still shows up at Sunday in the City every week,” Damian said. “I’m pretty sure he thinks he is going straight to hell for punching a man of the cloth.”

  “So you did your job, in a way,” Katie said, nodding. “I am seriously impressed with your willingness to use your face to stop punches in an effort to save souls.”

  “Thank you,” Damian said, shaking his head and taking a sip of his beer. “It was one of my more interesting priestly achievements.”

  Calvin raised his beer. “And that, guys, is how you sum up Korbin’s Killers.”

  The next morning they all gathered in the training pit.

  “All right,” Calvin said, clapping his hands. “I hope everyone had a great time last night at the bar and I hope you got some good sleep, because training is back in session. Every day we have a new duo sparring in the center of the pit. Today we have decided to throw Jeremy in with Katie. That will give us an idea what Jeremy is capable of.”

  “And how much pain he can withstand,” Derek said under his breath to Katie.

  “I won’t be too hard on him.” She smiled, and when Derek looked at her sideways she shoved him. “No, I’m serious!”

  “Uh huh,” Derek allowed. “Good intentions pave the road to hell.”

  “All right, you two, come on up here,” Calvin called. “Rules are simple: we use technique rather than street style, but know that when you are fighting demons, you use whatever will help you win. We fight until one player taps out.” He looked at Katie. “Let’s try to keep each other conscious, ok?” He turned to Jeremy. “This is a learning activity, not a chance to beat the shit out of each other. Understood?”

  “Got it, boss,” Katie said, cracking her neck back and forth.

  “Yep,” Jeremy said, shaking out his legs.

  Katie could feel Jeremy’s nerves, and it made her confident about what she was doing in the pit and about their sparring.

  Calvin walked up to them and looked at Katie, who was smaller than Jeremy, and back to Jeremy with an eyebrow raised.

  Jeremy could tell that Calvin was not at all impressed by his body, and it made him slightly uncomfortable.

  He looked down. He was in shape, and had been working out. He just wasn’t a gym rat like the rest of them—at least not yet.

  Jeremy had always taken care of himself; they had kept in shape in the FBI. Fighting demons was new, though, and from the way he had seen Katie sparring, he had a feeling that she had the moves down.

  Still, how hard could it be? She was small, and not very muscular at all. He had quite a bit of weight on her, and they had done their own workouts in the Bureau.

  Katie pulled off her sweat jacket and tossed it to Derek, then raised her hands over her head and stretched her arms. She smiled at Jeremy, trying not to chuckle out loud. She had to take it easy on him; it was his first time in the sparring ring.

  Who the hell is this chump? Pandora chuckled.

  New guy, Katie replied. We are going to take it easy on him. We don’t want to hurt his ego too much.

  Right.
Pandora sighed.

  “New meat needs to be tenderized.” Calvin patted Jeremy on the shoulder.

  Jeremy’s eyes got big as Calvin chuckled and walked off the mat.

  Katie looked at him and smirked, shaking her head at Calvin.

  He was being an ass, and it was hilarious.

  Katie walked onto the mat and squared off with Jeremy, who was still looking at Calvin. She narrowed her eyes—class was in session.

  This was going to be way too easy.

  Calvin’s arm jerked up. “Go,” he yelled, starting the match.

  Katie stood there for a few seconds with raised eyebrows, wondering if the guy was going to turn back around to her and start fighting.

  After about three seconds she shrugged her shoulders and crouched. Jeremy continued to stare at Calvin until he realized it was time to start.

  He nodded and started to turn back, but her foot was already arcing around and slammed right into his head.

  Calvin winced and groaned as Jeremy’s head snapped back, the power of Katie’s kick almost taking him right out of the round. Calvin could tell she was holding back, and he was actually pretty happy about that.

  Jeremy groaned as he dropped to all fours and shook the blurriness from his vision.

  He swallowed hard and pulled himself back up.

  “Good one. Good one...,” he said in a muffled voice, rubbing his face. “I guess you got to teach the new guy that there is no mer—”

  Katie didn’t wait for him to catch his breath, just took his feet right out from underneath him. She could have taken him down to the tap-out point while he struggled to even get off the mat, but she was trying to make a point.

  This guy would have been demon food in three seconds, not to mention that he never stopped talking enough to focus on his next move.

  “Get up,” Katie said, standing over him. “If I were a demon you would be dead, and your guts would have been spilled all over the mat.”

  “Right, right.” He groaned and pulled himself to his feet, trying to catch his balance.

  Katie took a step back for a moment, waiting on him. He groaned again, shaking his head and eyeing Katie.

  She stepped back farther, no smile on her face but a bit of amusement in her eyes as she watched him. She was trying to help train him, but she couldn’t say no to crushing his ego a little. The new guys had been eyeballing her since they got here, and she had gotten the vibe that they didn’t understand how a woman could be the rock of their team.

  She wanted to make sure she taught them something, but at the same time let them know exactly why she was important to the team. Maybe it was her ego stepping in or maybe it was Pandora’s, but she couldn’t help it.

  Katie glanced at Calvin, who was taking notes, and he looked up at her and shrugged his shoulders. The guys were nervous, and it was his first time in the ring—Katie understood that. There was a very good chance he was actually a decent fighter under all the nerves and testosterone. He was doing the typical initial dick measurements, only Katie didn’t have one to measure.

  Jeremy stood up and rolled his shoulders, then bent into an attacking pose. He lunged forward to grab onto Katie but she dodged and pushed her hand into the back of his head. He gritted his teeth and lunged again, but the same thing happened.

  “You are leading with your legs,” she told him.

  “What?” Jeremy replied.

  “I can tell which way you’ll go and what you’ll do because you move your legs first and then the rest of your body,” she said.

  He lunged forward again and she stepped to the side, grabbing his arm as he passed and pulling it behind his back. She kicked him hard in the back of the knees and moved with him as he fell onto them, then simulated cutting his throat with her hand.

  “Like this,” she said, stepping back and letting him up. “I knew exactly where you were going, and I took you exactly where I wanted you to go. If you do that the demons will notice, and you will be their next meal in a heartbeat. The bigger demons don’t care and you won’t stand a chance, especially the ones with intelligence and trained moves.”

  “Intelligence?” Jeremy grunted and turned around. “They don’t have intelligence. They are big sacks of fucking meat.”

  “Yeah, until they plan an attack on you and force your inner demon to fight,” she said, glancing at Damian, who was watching from a distance. “Anyway, you can’t let them know what your plans are.”

  Jeremy looked at Katie for a moment, tired of the back-and-forth and her condescending tone.

  He was going to take her down, and if he couldn’t do it with smarts he would use his superior size and weight to wrap her up. He dug his back foot in and leapt toward her, but everything went black.

  When Jeremy woke up he blinked his eyes a few times, looking up at Calvin and Katie. The trainer was smirking, and Katie looked worried. He pulled his hand up to his chin and rubbed it, feeling the stream of pain that was going through it. He reaching his hand up, and Calvin pulled him to his feet and raised his eyebrows.

  “So, would you tell me how the FBI uses the strategy of blocking a front snap-kick with your chin?” Calvin asked. “To be honest, it didn’t really look like it worked out too well for you.”

  9

  Katie laid down on the bench and looked at the bar overhead. She took a deep breath and lifted the weights up and off the hold, beginning to pump them up and down.

  She had just finished getting Jeremy up off the mat and apologizing for knocking him out, and that was about enough sparring for her for one day. She didn’t want to completely push the new guys away by kicking their asses time and again, so she meandered over to the lifting area to work with the weights for a while.

  “How’s it goin’, Rambo?” Derek asked, leaning over Katie’s face and laughing.

  “Oh, you know, kicking recruits’ asses every day, trying to stay in one piece, and dismantling stereotypes all in one fell swoop,” Katie replied, putting the weights up and sitting up. She lowered her voice. “I’m Batdamned…” She winked. “How are you?”

  “Good,” he replied. “Korbin asked me to fetch you.” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “He wants to talk to you in his office.”

  “Any idea what he wants?” Katie asked in a nervous tone.

  “No,” he admitted, making sure the bar was locked for safety. “Not a clue.”

  “Great.” She sighed, grabbing her towel and wiping her forehead. “All right, let me get my water. I’ll be right up.”

  “Sure thing, boss,” he said as he walked away.

  Katie made sure he was out of sight before talking to Pandora. No one else could hear them, but she was always paranoid about it. She started walking toward Korbin’s office.

  Can you sense anything? Katie asked.

  I can’t tell what he wants to talk to you about, no, Pandora replied.

  But? Katie asked.

  Well, there is something that I have never noticed before, she said. I can feel it getting stronger with every step you take toward the office.

  What is it? Should I be ready for a fight?

  No, Pandora said. There is a ward in place to block major powers from his office. Like I said, I never noticed it before now, so I am not even sure he had it up until now. Surely I would have noticed something that strong. Any of the demons should be able to sniff it out, but especially the stronger ones like me. I seriously think some demons are just oblivious, with no damn care for their personal safety.

  They aren’t really the brightest creatures in person either, Katie said. No offense.

  None taken. Pandora sighed. Most of the time I would agree.

  Okay, so this is some sort of test? Katie said. If so, what is he trying to prove with it?

  It’s to see who is dominant, Pandora said. If the demon inside you is more powerful than you, you won’t be able to enter the office. However, if you are more powerful than me, you won’t be bothered at all by it.

  Uh oh, Katie said. S
hould I not be feeling it already, then?

  Like I said, anyone with a demon would feel that, Pandora said. Seriously, just relax.

  Katie stood at Korbin’s door, slightly afraid to move. She reached up and knocked, then stood back and waited.

  “Come in,” he yelled.

  Here goes nothing, she thought, holding her breath as she walked through his office door.

  She looked around in surprise when she made it through, not because she thought Pandora was stronger than her but because her luck never ceased to bring her down.

  Katie’s attention returned to her surroundings when Korbin cleared his throat. She smiled at him and clasped her hands together in front of her.

  “What’s up, boss?” Katie smiled.

  “How are you doing?” he asked. “Damian said you took a good spill at the house the other day when you were handling spirits.”

  “Oh, I’m fine.” Katie shrugged. “Just a bump and some scratches. I heal pretty fast.”

  “So I’ve heard.” He pointed. “Please, have a seat.”

  “All right,” she said, sitting down in the chair. “Is everything okay?”

  “Everything is great,” he said. “What do you think about Jeremy? I saw the two of you sparring.”

  “He’s thick-headed.” She chuckled. “Doesn’t like to learn from a girl, but I think that once he realizes I’m not just any girl he will start to come around. If not, he has a tough ride ahead because Calvin is not letting up.”

  “Good.” Korbin nodded. “Now, I asked you here today because I wanted to talk to you about your role on the team.”

  “My role?” Her eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

  “With the newbies here Calvin is my second-in-command, and with Derek pretty much helping with everything else, that leaves you as my heavy,” Korbin said.

  “Your heavy?”

  “Yeah, the girl who does everything: Jill of all trades, the one who gets it done, and a major badass among the fighters.” He chuckled. “That said, you being the heavy means you are also part of the decision-making process of weapons and defense. This is important to us, since it is our central defense. We want to know what you want, and what you think the team will want. Otherwise, defenses will be less than what they could be.”