Secrets and Shadows

by L. T. Marie

  Lee shuddered and opened her eyes. “Let’s eat then.”

  *

  Jo called Emily the minute she returned home. She cried as she explained about the boot she had to wear and that her plans for Kauai would have to wait a few more months. She cried for all her disappointments but, most of all, because Lee’s time as her bodyguard was ticking away.

  Lee had been quiet during their breakfast, refusing to relay any details about her mysterious new job. Every time Jo asked, Lee changed the subject, asking her if she was feeling okay or if there was anything she could do. Begging Lee to stay occurred to her more than once. She wanted to tell her that even though she didn’t want a babysitter at first, she couldn’t imagine not having Lee in her life after today. But begging would only make things worse, and she hated the pain and despair visible in Lee’s eyes. She didn’t want to make it worse by being selfish.

  Alone. A concept she was familiar with. Well, not anymore. After today she refused to come in second to anyone. She would have to find a more direct way to get her autonomy back and build her life around her own needs. Maybe then someone could love her for her.

  She angrily swiped at her tears as a knock on the door broke the silence. She didn’t even have time to say “come in” before Tory entered the room and pulled Jo into her arms.

  “I heard. Tell me everything.”

  At any other time in the last few years, Jo would have pushed Tory away and told her to get the hell out. Instead she returned the hug and let the tears come.

  “Oh, honey,” Tory said gently. “I’m so sorry. I should have been there for you. I’m just so busy getting ready for the tour.”

  “I don’t want your pity,” Jo said, shoving Tory away. “For once this is about me, Tory. Me! I’m done being the wounded animal in a cage.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying that I refuse to live like this anymore. Maybe Kauai is out for now, but I can get an apartment somewhere until I’m healed. I can’t be here anymore. I just can’t.” Jo hobbled to the closet and grabbed an overnight bag, filling it quickly with essentials.

  “Wait, please wait.” Tory grabbed Jo’s hand. “I can’t let you walk out of here. You’re not even fully healed.”

  “You don’t have a choice,” Jo said, yanking her arm away. “Now get out and leave me alone.”

  “No, damn it. Not while he’s still out there.”

  “I don’t care anymore. Besides, my bodyguard’s leaving, and you’re planning on touring. Once again, everyone’s getting on with their life but me. It’s time that all changes.”

  “You know,” Tory said, her rising temper evident by the flush in her cheeks. “How can you be so selfish? If you just toured with us, we wouldn’t have to split up. We wouldn’t need all these damn bodyguards because we would be together and I wouldn’t have to worry about you all the time.”

  Jo began to laugh. She couldn’t help it. Once again, Tory had turned the conversation around to be about her. “You’re incredible. All you’ve ever cared about is yourself—your career, your looks, your talent, your feelings. What about me, Tory? What about what I want, what I feel?”

  “I do care about those things. Why do you think I made you my manager in the first place and gave you everything you ever wanted or needed? No matter what you think, all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

  “Oh, really? Then I’m going to let you in on a little secret. You’re going to get your wish. I’m going to be happy and I’m getting out of here to do it.”

  “Jo, please—”

  “Just get out. Out!” Tory turned and brushed past Lee, who had taken it upon herself to enter. Jo could feel Lee’s eyes on her but didn’t have the strength to face another disappointment. “You too. I need to be alone.”

  “Not until I know you’re all right.”

  “I’ll never be all right.” Jo wasn’t going to pretend that any part of her current situation was okay, especially the part where Lee would be leaving, never to return. She’d never wanted a bodyguard—still didn’t. What she wanted was the person standing in her doorway, the person who always looked at her as if no one else mattered, looked at her as someone she desired, not someone she protected. “Besides, why do you care? You’re just like her. I’m not someone for you to command, to control. Just leave. It’ll save us both the good-byes.”

  Looking over her shoulder wasn’t necessary to know when Lee had left. The emptiness had returned, a feeling of loss so deep she shivered from the coldness that engulfed her. She buried her face in her hands and cried. The tears fell like rain for her parents, for her damaged relationship with her sister, and for the accident that had left her broken and dependent. But most of all her heart bled for the way things had ended with Lee. She was walking out of Jo’s life and taking a piece of her soul with her.

  *

  Lee burst through the door of Tory’s office and looked at the letter clutched in Tory’s shaking hands. “Ms. West, let me see.” She scanned the letter quickly, her heart threatening to beat through her chest.

  Tonight was a warning. You will meet me or your twin is next. The clock is ticking. You know where to find me. I await you, my love.

  She darted from the room and ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. She burst through Jo’s bedroom door, catching Jo in the process of slinging her overnight bag over her shoulder.

  “I thought you’d left.” Jo said, her tone resigned, weary.

  “I did but…” Lee didn’t have time to finish her sentence when her cell phone rang. “I’m sorry. I have to take this. Winters,” she said tightly.

  “What’s happened?” Jo asked as soon as Lee ended the call.

  “That was Gary. Amanda Franklin is dead.”

  Jo gasped and paled. “How?”

  “Someone blew up her apartment, with her in it.”

  “Oh, God. Lee, my sister—”

  Tory burst through the door followed closely by Dan Powers.

  “Did you know?” Jo asked Tory.

  “I just found out.”

  “But why is this maniac doing this? He didn’t know Amanda. Hell, we barely knew her.”

  “He must have found out she was the one who leaked the information to Mayfield.” Tory was clearly distraught, her hands shaking and the color leached from her face. “He’s doing this because I won’t agree to meet with him. It’s obvious she was an example, Jo, just like you were.”

  Lee caught the flash of lightning in Jo’s blue eyes before her anger surfaced. It seemed that someone had finally paid with their life for Tory’s refusal to deal with this potential threat.

  “Are you happy now?” Jo asked Tory.

  “Oh, my God. How can you ask that? You think I wanted this?”

  “No, I don’t think that. But you’re so wrapped up in your own life you don’t see how your actions affect others. You refused to call in the police because you didn’t want to damage your precious career, and now someone’s dead. You didn’t stop when he nearly killed me, and that was bad enough. Now he has killed someone, and that’s your fault. I’m sorry about Amanda, but you’re done having any say in my life.” Jo slung the bag over her shoulder as the cab she’d requested honked his horn out front. She tried leaving but Lee successfully blocked the doorway. “Get out of my way.”

  “No. Please don’t leave,” Lee said, panic evident in her voice.

  “What is it? Now what are you both not telling me?”

  “Ma’am, please…” Lee said, her eyes locked on Tory’s in a desperate plea to fill in the blanks. “Jo, hear me out,” Lee said, placing her hand on Jo’s arm to get her attention. “We have to keep you protected more now than ever. The stalker has killed Amanda, and if Tory doesn’t answer the letter she’s just received he’ll…he’ll…”

  Tory slumped into a chair. “He’ll come after you again.”

  “Wait, what letter?” Jo said.

  “I received another letter a few minutes ago,” Tory said. �
��He says I know where to find him. What the hell does that mean? Why would I know that? And that Amanda was a wake-up call. If I don’t meet him the next time, he promised he’d kill you.”

  Jo swayed as Lee reached for her and pulled her into her arms.

  “Jesus Christ! But…who will…” Jo couldn’t voice her needs.

  “Protect you?” Jo nodded against Lee’s chest. “I believe I’m still your bodyguard. That is…if you still want me to be?”

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Why are you pacing, you fool?”

  The Angry Man had just returned from his greatest triumph yet. Adrenaline coursed through his body and he needed a way to burn off the excess energy. He’d been on a high ever since that bodyguard’s home blew to tiny pieces. The only thing he regretted was not being given the opportunity to sift through the rubble for any information on Tory. Amanda had to have had a folder, pictures, something that she had been able to copy and hand over to her uncle, that foul little reporter. A new picture would have been a treasure to add to the multitude of others on his wall, a small token to remind him of his greatest accomplishment so far. “You know why. Didn’t you see what I’ve done? I’m brilliant!”

  “The explosion was incredible. I’ll give you that.”

  “Yes,” he said, pulling at his hair and ripping out a few strands in the process. “Maybe now she’ll listen to me.”

  He moved frantically around the small room, mumbling incoherently. Tory would have to take him seriously now. He’d killed someone for her. Amanda’s death should have proved how much he loved her, how much he was willing to risk for her love in return, how far he’d go to keep her and never let her go.

  “So what’s next?”

  He glanced at his tormentor, the crazed eyes staring boldly back at him. They were dark, lifeless, empty of any emotion. He hated how those eyes could see into his soul. He couldn’t hide from them no matter how hard he tried. “I told you, I’ve made my point. Now I’ll convince her to see me! All she has to do is follow the fucking instructions.” He kicked a chair across the room, then chased it. Picking it up, he held it above his head before slamming it repeatedly against the floor until he’d exhausted himself.

  “And this is why I call you an idiot,” his tormentor hissed. “You’re always pissed off. You lack focus…self-control, like a child throwing a tantrum when he doesn’t get what he wants.”

  “Fuck off!” He moved to his desk to finish the last of his preparations before heading out to meet the woman who consumed his every moment, both waking and dreaming. He took one last look in the mirror, regretting his mistake instantly.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I told you already. Why do you torture me?”

  The man laughed. He always laughed. “Because it’s too easy. Besides, you’re pathetic, or haven’t I told you lately?”

  “You just wait.” The Angry Man scowled and pointed at him. “You’ll see. After tonight I’ll prove my worth to you and to her.” He pulled the tattered picture from his pocket and kissed the faded image of the woman staring back at him. He saw the love in her eyes. She smiled only for him.

  “Oh.” The man mocked him, he always mocked him. “You still think she’s going to show, don’t you?”

  He grabbed the paperweight on his desk. He didn’t want to be tormented tonight. Not tonight. “I told you, she will show!”

  Launching the paperweight into the mirror, he laughed as it shattered it into a million pieces. “Now, maybe you’ll shut up and listen to me.” He kicked a piece of the mirror with his foot.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chaos descended upon the West household, and Jo tried adjusting to the constant police presence following Amanda’s death. She’d actually started wishing for the days when she’d had to deal with only one bodyguard. Agitated was too mild for what she was feeling. Pissed off with people in her personal space was more like it. But she had blamed Tory for Amanda’s death, and now she had to deal with the consequences. Tory had gone straight downstairs and called the police.

  And, of course, the local authorities called the FBI to request their assistance with the stalker situation. In addition to not having the manpower on the local level, they needed the FBI’s expertise in the handling of these types of cases. Tory handed over every letter and talked with agents for hours on end. Jo didn’t want any part of those conversations. Mentally she was on overload and didn’t need the added stress, particularly after she heard Tory’s idea about trying to set up a meeting with the stalker in an attempt to draw him into the open.

  “Are you crazy? You don’t know what this guy is liable to do.”

  “Jo,” Tory said calmly, “no one else can do this. I have to do something or you’ll be in danger again. You just don’t know…”

  Jo didn’t need to hear the words to understand what her sister was trying to say. Tory had already proved by planning to meet with the stalker that she’d risk everything, including her own life, to protect her and those she cared about from further danger. “I’m not letting you do this.”

  “Jo, we don’t have a choice. Besides, you’re leaving anyway.”

  “But that’s not…” Not what…true? Yesterday I had one foot out the door. No matter how mad she was at Tory, she couldn’t leave now. Tory was in danger. She needed to make her see that no matter how much she hated her life, she didn’t hate Tory.

  “You were saying?”

  “I was saying that I’ve decided to stay. I can’t let you do this. Damn it, I love you. Don’t you get it?” Tears clouded her eyes and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. Tory came to her and wrapped her up in her arms.

  “I love you too. I’m so sorry, Jo, for everything. For hiding all this, for your accident, for getting Amanda killed—”

  “No!” Jo hugged her tight and whispered, “You didn’t kill Amanda. I know that’s what I said, but I was angry at you. I’ve been angry with you since the night Mom and Dad died. I know that wasn’t your fault either, but you’d begged them to come to your concert. It was Chicago in the middle of winter, for Christ’s sake, but still they could never turn you down. They died on that road alone, Tory. And when the concert was over, you hopped onto the next plane to London and left me to deal with the aftermath. You said it was because you couldn’t cope with it, but I know that emotionally detached routine you want others to buy is bullshit. I know their deaths weren’t your fault either, but that still didn’t make it any easier for me. You left me alone. I don’t want to end up like Mom and Dad, somewhere alone. But I’ll deal with my issues when this nightmare is over. I know you would never intentionally hurt someone, but you can be very self-absorbed sometimes. I’ll stay, for now. But we’re in this together. Okay?”

  Tory pulled back and wiped at her own eyes with her sleeve. “Just sometimes?”

  “Don’t push it.” Jo smiled. “Now back to this stalker crap. They can try to capture this psycho whack job any way they see fit, but you are not going to risk your life. They can find another way. Maybe we can leave early for the tour—get away from all this craziness?”

  “You mean you’ll go?”

  “What part of we’re in this together did you not get? Where you go, I go. Touring, the upcoming book signing, all of it.”

  “But Jo. You don’t need to be at the book signing. Touring is fine—”

  “Jesus! You just don’t get it, do you? No one, not you, not Lee, or even psycho fucking letter writer is going to dictate what I will and will not do from now on. I want to support you and be there for you. And I will be. So deal with it.”

  That one conversation wouldn’t repair all the frayed strings that had once securely bound them together, but it was a start. They’d both come to an understanding that neither one wanted to be away from the other during this trying time. Jo found it amazing that a few days ago she had planned on leaving. Now running away was the furthest thing from her mind. And somehow, making that decision gave her a sense of control. She
was staying because she wanted to, not at someone else’s whim. And for whatever reason, that made a big difference.

  “Fine.” Tory put her hands up in defense. “You win.”

  “Don’t I always?” Jo grinned and left.

  Just moments later she found Lee staring over a couple of documents spread out on the kitchen table. “Hey, do you know where Tory went? We were talking and I left for one minute and she disappeared.”

  “Her office,” Lee said, placing her hands in her pants pockets. “They’re trying to decide what to do about the event tonight. How are you holding up?”

  “Okay. If I could sleep more than two hours a night I’d probably feel better.”

  Lee leaned against the table and studied Jo with her usual bruising intensity. Jo wanted to go to her, to wrap her arms around Lee’s waist and bury herself in those strong arms. She missed that simple comfort, but since the police and FBI had arrived, Lee had been even more distant, and Jo had to respect that distance even though she didn’t like it.

  “You’ll try and rest later, won’t you?” Lee asked.

  “I’ll try,” Jo said, but she was too wrapped up in the way Lee’s eyes darkened to say anything else.

  “Jo,” Lee whispered, moving away from the desk and closer to her.

  “I know.”

  “What do you know?”

  “I know,” she said, putting her hands on Lee’s waist, “that when this is all over, we need to talk. When I’m no longer your job, I hope to be something else to you.”

  Lee’s eyes softened, the look of longing in them nearly bringing Jo to her knees. Lee pulled her into a tight embrace. “I promise, we’ll talk then,” she whispered against Jo’s temple.

  “That’s good enough. Come on. I actually want to go see what the FBI has to say, and I’m sure you do too.”

  They found Tory still in her office talking with two of the FBI’s finest. Jo immediately took stock of the men sitting across from her. Both wore the required dark suit, monochromatic tie, and polished black shoes. The larger of the two men, Special Agent in Charge Sam Steele, made her feel anything but safe with the look of indifference he threw her way. He looked…bored. The only person that ever made her feel safe was propped against the wall directly behind her. She didn’t have to turn around to know Lee was focused on her. She could feel the warmth from that penetrating stare all the way to her toes and listened carefully as Tory explained about the tour and her hopes of the stalker fading into the background. The FBI, however, didn’t share her sentiment.