Secrets and Shadows

by L. T. Marie

*

  Jo retired early and decided to take a bath and immerse herself in a good book in an attempt to get her mind off the book signing. She’d never understand how someone like Lee could do the job she did. Staring at the store’s blueprints all day, talking incessantly about where they were going to stand, where each member was going to sit, how many people were allowed inside at any given time, and so on. She’d been bored to tears within the first hour, and the stress emanating from Tory’s office could be felt within a ten-mile radius. Closing her bedroom door had been like erecting an imaginary force field, shielding her from all the crap in her life. She was tired and stressed, and, most of all, she missed being Lee’s only focus.

  At first, having all that attention directed at her had been annoying. She hated feeling like a specimen squirming under a microscope with someone analyzing her life piece by piece. But after a while, she’d wanted Lee to look at her. She’d gone out of her way to wear clothes that were a tad more revealing. She’d craved Lee’s reaction to that midnight-blue dress and had only purchased it because Lee said she was beautiful in it.

  Today, though, Lee’s military expertise was in full force. Jo had sat in that room watching her in action and had to admit, it was quite a turn-on. Lee wasn’t only a take-charge individual but was also the person all the other bodyguards respected and turned to for orders. She had no idea what terror Lee had witnessed in distant lands, but it was clear that she’d always been in charge and that soldiers under her command would follow her into the pits of hell and never ask why.

  With Lee’s focus on more urgent matters, Jo had focused on herself. Becoming more mobile had become her number-one priority, and within the last week she’d managed to move around comfortably without the cane. She still needed the brace when she stood for extended periods of time, but she was satisfied with her progress and in a few weeks hoped she wouldn’t need it.

  Her thoughts traveled back to Lee and she inhaled sharply. So much was still left unsaid between them. Lee’s barriers had come crashing down one by one since the first time they kissed, but lately, some kind of new barrier had been erected. Lee would touch her but with a distance in that touch. Every brief caress felt as though it were their last. Every time she looked in Lee’s eyes she saw pain and regret. She’d been thinking a lot about her last conversation with Tory. Lee wasn’t only contemplating leaving. If Jo didn’t find a way to obliterate some of those barriers, Lee’s leaving was inevitable.

  “Come in.”

  Lee took one step into Jo’s bedroom and stopped as if she’d hit a brick wall. Though it could have been because she forgot what she was going to say, Jo figured it was more likely due to the sheer black negligee that left very little to the imagination.

  “Do you like it?” Jo asked, pleased with Lee’s reaction. She’d been saving it for a special occasion and hoped she’d be able to model it for Lee. If the crimson color in Lee’s cheeks was any indication, she’d chosen wisely. Part of her had hoped Lee would visit her before settling in for the night.

  “Uh…”

  “Uh is not an answer.”

  “It’s…yes…” Lee shook her head as if trying to focus. Sweat broke out above her brow. “I should…go.”

  Jo slid out of bed and slowly walked to Lee. The negligee clung to her like a second skin and her nipples stood out like two hard stones under the thin material. “Go? You just got here.” She touched Lee’s flushed face just before Lee pulled her forcefully into her arms. Lee buried her face between Jo’s neck and shoulder. One of them groaned, but Jo wasn’t sure which of them it was.

  “Jo,” Lee whispered.

  She pulled back in Lee’s arms and looked into her troubled eyes. “Oh, God. What’s hurting you, baby?”

  The pain and frustration on Lee’s face tore at Jo’s heart. Clearly Lee was struggling with her feelings, although she wasn’t completely sure why.

  “Come here.” Jo guided Lee onto the bed beside her.

  “This isn’t a good idea.”

  “Shh…no arguing. Close your eyes.”

  “You want me to close my eyes while I’m in bed with you and you’re half naked. Jesus, I’m only human.”

  “I like the way you think and there will be time for that later. I promise. But right now, I want to hold you.”

  They crawled into bed and slid under the covers. Jo snuggled against Lee and they lay there quietly, neither saying anything for a long time.

  A wisp of time had passed when Lee opened her eyes and realized she had dozed off. Jo had drawn the shades so the soft glow of the bedside lamp was the only light in the room. Jo tenderly stroked her abdomen in soft, idle circles. Lee had no idea if Jo’s actions were to relax or excite, but the twitch in her abdomen said her libido was gearing toward the latter.

  “How long was I out?”

  “About an hour. I guess you needed it.”

  There hadn’t been a time in the past year, hell, in the past ten years, where she had slept so peacefully. No dreams, no demons to haunt her sleep. Jo’s magical touch seemed to have stroked them away, creating light where there had only been darkness. “An hour? Damn. I need to get back.”

  “Back to what? It’s late and everyone’s gone for the night.”

  “I just have to go. I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry.” Jo sat up. “Why are you always sorry when we spend time together?”

  Lee stood, needing distance to think. She couldn’t think when Jo touched her, especially wearing something so sheer that showed off her utterly stunning body, and lately her thoughts were becoming even more muddled than before she’d accepted the job as Jo’s bodyguard. This concerned her because she didn’t know how much longer she’d be effective at protecting Jo without risking her safety. The thought simultaneously sickened and saddened her. “Because we shouldn’t…I shouldn’t be here, Jo.”

  “Why? We’re two adults. How can you deny what you feel for me?”

  Lee lowered her eyes. “Because you’re not safe with me.”

  “That’s ridiculous. You’re my bodyguard. I’m safer with you than anyone.”

  “You think that, but you don’t know me, what I’m capable of.”

  “I do know you,” Jo said, going to her. She wrapped her arms around Lee’s waist and laid her head against her chest. “I’ve never been safer with anyone. I trust you.”

  “You shouldn’t. I’m…broken.” Lee backed away and ran a trembling hand through her hair. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Lee ran down the stairs, not wanting to explain further. Hiding behind her responsibilities wasn’t going to work any longer, and keeping her distance was the only way to make sure that nothing happened between them. Another few minutes in that room and she would have forgotten all about her pledge to keep Jo safe. Her constant hunger for Jo was ripping at the last of her restraint, and if she didn’t keep a safe distance, her hunger would eventually conquer her control and she’d devour Jo without mercy.

  She ran into Dan Powers at the bottom of the stairs, and he explained some last-minute changes by Tory regarding the next day’s events. At least this time she’d been prepared for any eventuality. “Anything else, Dan?” she asked tiredly.

  “Nothing for now. Let’s just hope these are the only surprises we have tomorrow.”

  Lee nodded, hoping for the same.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Lee was used to awaking most mornings feeling edgy and disconcerted, but today the feelings were magnified tenfold. Nothing had seemed quite right since she’d opened her eyes at five a.m., after tossing and turning all night, drifting frequently between consciousness and sleep. She had meticulously reviewed every detail regarding the book signing, from the time the entourage would leave the West home until the time they were to return. She’d even taken the time to do a walk-through the day before, making sure she was happy with the final arrangements and, more important, that she’d be able to remove Jo if they needed a quick escape. There would be a two-hour window from the time
the group arrived until the time they would be safely back inside the limos. Two hours was a hell of a lot of time to give a determined crazy man.

  She showered and changed quickly in one of the guest bathrooms on the first level of the West home. She refused to leave the house until the UNSUB was caught, not wanting to be far away from Jo if the UNSUB tried to make a move. But sleeping in the same house, knowing Jo was wearing that little black nightie, was damn near impossible. So close, but so far. She grabbed a bite to eat and was about to go see if Jo was awake, but before she did that she needed to call Gary for a quick update. She stepped outside into the cool morning air. With every unanswered ring, her agitation intensified.

  “You rang?” Gary asked, towering over her from behind. She still wasn’t used to him being taller than her again.

  “Why didn’t you answer?” Lee said, slamming the phone shut hard enough to make Gary jump.

  “Why would I when I’m standing in front of you?”

  Sarcasm was going to get him killed and he didn’t even know it. Besides being edgy, she was pissed off that she’d allowed Gary to sneak up on her. Damn. If she couldn’t detect a six-foot-four guy approaching with one steel foot, how the hell was she going to protect Jo if something went wrong? “I can see that. Why are you here?”

  “I called to talk with Tory this morning and she invited me.” The slight blush on his cheeks told her there’d been more to their conversation. “Jo’s friend Emily can’t make it so there’s an extra seat in Tory’s limo.”

  “I see.” Lee swore silently, wondering how many more surprises she was in for today.

  “Hey. I can leave if you think I’ll be in the way.”

  “No, it’s okay. You know last-minute changes irk me. Is everyone else coming out or are we going in?”

  “They’ll be out in a sec.”

  Lee heard their voices before Jo emerged, followed by Tory and two of the other members of the band. Each member was flanked closely by their bodyguards and had their own limo waiting, all big enough for friends and family members attending. One particular person stood out from the rest and Lee clenched her fists, her jaw aching from gritting her teeth. Her head started to throb painfully.

  “Hey,” Gary asked cautiously. “Everything okay?”

  “Fine,” she growled, her eyes locked on Chance Dillingham. But it wasn’t the stocky blonde bass player that caused her blood pressure to reach deadly levels. It was the taller blonde with the short spiked hair and piercing green eyes that caused her to consider very evil actions, especially since she was currently holding the door open for Jo.

  Jo threw her head back and laughed when Charlene Avery whispered something into her ear. The hair on the back of Lee’s neck stood at attention, and if she were an animal she would have bared her fangs. The thought that Jo might have turned to Charlene after Lee had pushed her away yet again made her feel like she was going to vomit. She had known various friends were staying in the house and attending the signing, but Charlene hadn’t been on the list. If she had, Lee would have slept on the floor outside Jo’s room all night. She pictured the black negligee and wanted to rip Charlene’s head from her shoulders. Fuck it. If Jo wanted to flirt with Charlene that was fine with her, but other arrangements would have to be made for Lee’s travel plans to and from the bookstore. No way would she be able to ride in a limousine confined with the both of them, touching and giggling. She’d rather face a firing squad.

  Luckily Charlene disappeared into the back of Chance’s limo instead of Tory’s. Everyone exchanged pleasantries as she sat quietly across from Jo and kept her eyes glued to the passing scenery. She didn’t have to look at Jo to know she was watching her. Jo had a way of stripping her bare, exposing her in ways she couldn’t explain. She couldn’t chance losing her resolve now, not with so much on the line. Focus was the key for the next few hours. Distractions were inexcusable, especially when the price could be deadly.

  A large crowd of fans had gathered excitedly outside the entrance to the popular bookstore, waving books and pens in the band members’ direction. They’d been waiting anxiously for Tory, Chance, and Patricia to arrive after screaming wildly for the other band members, Darian Cross and Cynthia Evans, who had arrived only moments before.

  Lee exited the vehicle first and held the door open for Tory and the others to emerge from the black stretch limo. She automatically scanned the area, looking for anyone or anything out of place. Tory got out first, and her bodyguards paved their way into the three-story bookstore. Lee assisted Gary with his crutches before offering her hand to Jo.

  “This is crazy,” Jo said right before someone rammed into her, causing her to stumble and lose her balance.

  “Shit!” Without thinking, Lee lifted Jo off her feet and into her arms, maneuvered her carefully through the crowd, and set her down once they reached the safety of the bookstore.

  “Why the hell did you do that?”

  Lee adjusted her earpiece, listening to the chatter of the other bodyguards as they dropped into position. “Do what?”

  “Do what? Are you serious? Pick me up, that’s what.”

  “I didn’t want you to get hurt.” The simple statement appeared to have calmed the storm brewing in Jo’s turbulent blue eyes. Lee glanced away from Jo and scanned the crowd, her jaw aching from it being locked tight.

  “I’m sorry I snapped at you,” Jo said, placing her hand on Lee’s tense forearm. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

  “No need to thank me, Ms. West. It’s what you pay me for.”

  Jo stepped back as if slapped, her anger resurging. “No, my sister pays you. I didn’t want your help in the first place!”

  Lee followed Jo as she moved to Tory’s table and sat in the far corner. She stood directly behind her, rubbing her forehead in frustration. She hadn’t meant to piss Jo off with her comment, but she’d worry about that later. Suddenly a voice she didn’t recognize yelled out Jo’s name and she moved to her, hovering above Jo in a protective stance.

  “I don’t get it,” Jo said, clearly confused. “Why are they yelling for me? I’m no one.”

  Lee focused on the dozens of faces quickly gathering inside the room and said the first thing that came to mind. “Probably because you’re beautiful.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Hey, you two,” Gary said, saving Lee from a very embarrassing moment. “This is great, isn’t it?” His eyes, like Lee’s, continually scanned the crowd, and the lines around them belied his statement.

  “Yeah, great,” Lee mumbled, thankful for his interruption. Jesus! What was she thinking? This was the last straw. The time had come to admit that she could no longer control her emotions around Jo. If Gary hadn’t made his not-so-subtle arrival, she could have exposed Jo to further danger.

  Besides, what would the people who respected her think if they saw her in an intimate moment with Jolene West in public, especially when her job to protect Jo was supposed to be her number-one priority? What if in that moment, the stalker had decided to attack? Granted, it wasn’t like she’d started stripping off her clothes or bent Jo over the table, but she’d allowed her concentration to waver, and that was more than enough. She could no longer deny she wanted to lose control with Jo—to be beside her, underneath her. She wanted to claim Jo—to be in her, on her. She constantly fought the urge to stroke Jo’s cheek, to caress the skin that felt like satin under her touch. She yearned to drown in those blue pools that had the power to force the oxygen from her lungs with one simple look. She wanted to close the gap between them, to kiss the lips that were softer than the finest silk. Jo was beautiful, smart, funny, caring. She had it all, and Lee wanted it.

  She focused on Josh Petersen, who was introducing himself to each of the band members. Tory sat behind a large stack of books and cast a smile in Jo’s direction.

  “Are we ready, everyone?” Josh asked excitedly, right before he opened the doors to admit the first wave of fans.

  The first hour was uneventf
ul as each band member signed books and chatted with excited fans. Next to Tory, Patricia Simpson had quite a following, but the three other members kept busy too. All the band members were clad in their usual leather garb, the new mesh tops that Patricia and Tory had found revolting giving tantalizing glimpses of the skin beneath. All five women were gorgeous, but Lee thought none of them compared to Jo.

  “What do you think?” Gary stood next to her.

  “I think I wanna get out of here.”

  “Me too. Seems quiet but…”

  Lee looked up at Gary who was staring intently out the window. “See something?”

  “Yeah. Outside, two o’clock.”

  Lee saw him immediately. A tall, lanky figure with a hood over his head was standing directly outside the window peering in through the tinted glass. She couldn’t see his face, and it wasn’t the sweatshirt in the eighty-degree heat that caused her to become hyper alert.

  She followed his gaze, recognizing an object that hadn’t been in the room during her last inspection. The microphone sitting on Tory’s table wasn’t supposed to be there. Josh picked it up and the hooded man stepped away from the window.

  Lee lunged for Jo. “Get down!”

  Chapter Twenty-two

  The room exploded in dust and smoke. Lee covered Jo with her body and people began to scream as debris rained down on them, a plume of gray ash blanketing what remained of the first floor, the smell of burning books acrid and dense. The familiar sounds of agony and looming death quickly filled the room. She felt as if she were reliving a nightmare until the echoes of horror that were present, not past, awakened her from the fog of old terror.

  Coughing helped expel the Sheetrock dust from her lungs as she shook off the debris that had pinned her to the floor. She waited and exhaled in relief when she felt Jo move under her. Thank Christ.

  “Are you hurt?” Lee asked, trying to shield Jo from the pandemonium around them.

  “No.” Jo coughed. “Are you?”