Firmament: In His Image

by J. Grace Pennington

  His eyes drifted to Crash’s door, and I tried to follow his thoughts. Crash had inherited his mother’s charming and spirited disposition, and I wondered sometimes if the resemblance was what made the Doctor so lenient with him. He was not one to be indulgent, but he rarely scolded or reprimanded his nephew, especially when Crash turned those blue eyes on him. I knew that in those eyes, the Doctor always saw Sara again.

  At last he turned back to me and smiled again. “Very nice.”

  This was high praise from him. “Thank you.”

  “You should be getting some sleep,” he ordered after a pause. “You haven’t been sleeping, and don’t you think I haven’t noticed. Those dark circles weren’t always there.” He brushed his fingertip under my right eye, and shook his head.

  I flushed slightly.

  “Bad dreams?” he asked.

  “No.”

  “Come on, Andi. Tell me what the problem is. Some kind of stress-induced insomnia?”

  “Oh, I don’t think it’s that bad,” I hastened to say.

  “I think it is. You’ve been stressed, and you have insomnia.”

  “Doctor, it’s only called insomnia when it’s really serious…”

  “It’s called insomnia if you can’t sleep. Now follow me, and I’ll give you a little something for it.”

  I submitted to his orders, and followed him down the short hall to his tiny quarters. Opening a box, he moved his hand over the different sections as if looking for something. “Ah.” Digging into the box, he pulled out a small sedative bottle. “You know what the dosage is,” he said, handing it to me with a little cup. “Take some.”

  Grimacing, I took the required dose of the tranquilizer while he paced down the room, and then back to me again. “So what’s causing it?”

  “I never sleep well away from home. I’m not a heavy sleeper either.” I handed the bottle back, but he wasn’t convinced.

  “That’s not enough. You’re still bothered by something. What is it?”

  “You can’t give me any medicine for it.”

  “No, but getting it off your chest will help, and you know it.”

  With a sigh, I sat down on the bed. “I didn’t know you were a psychiatrist, Dad.”

  “I’ll have to do. Unless you’d rather tell your problems to Trent or Ralston.”

  I was silent for a moment, trying to pinpoint the main thing that was bothering me. It wasn’t any one thing; that was the problem. It was just a general feeling of tiredness. “I’m not even sure I know.”

  “I’ll tell you what you need,” he nodded emphatically, “a vacation.”

  “The only kind of vacation I want is to be back home.”

  “What kind of a vacation is that?”

  I already felt sleepy from the medication. “The only kind I want. I want to see August again, and sleep in my own bed—yes, I even want to listen to Crash and the Captain argue. That’s what I need.”

  My eyelids drooped.

  “I don’t doubt it,” said the Doctor at last. “Go get some sleep, and don’t worry about getting up early in the morning. Just sleep until you wake up.”

  “I usually do,” I murmured, getting up. “G’night, Dad.”

  “Night Andi, and sleep well.” A hint of teasing seasoned his voice.

  “Thanks, I’m sure I will.” Stumbling out, I just barely made it into my pajamas and to my bed before I collapsed in a deep, dreamless sleep.

  II

  I followed the Doctor’s advice without meaning to, and didn’t wake up until late the next morning. No doubt the tranquilizer was greatly to blame for this, and when I woke up I somehow knew that it was long past my usual rising hour. Hopping up, I rushed into the lavatory to splash some cold water on my face, and then back into my room to get my uniform on. I was halfway through buttoning my white shirt before I realized that I was no longer in the miniscule transport quarters. I stood in my regular cabin aboard the Surveyor—

  I was home.

  With a little tremor of gladness, I threw on my jacket and hurried out the door. I felt no hesitation deciding where to go first. I loved many places on the Surveyor, but my favorite was sickbay. I’d worked there with the Doctor since I was thirteen, and I felt most at home there—among the tomography scanners, stethoscopes, antibiotics and x-rays. Most of all, the Doctor was there, and he was matchlessly my favorite person in the entire universe.

  Reaching the door, I skipped in and looked around for the Doctor. “Dad? Dad, how did you get me here without waking me up?” I called out my question merrily, feeling better than I had in a couple of months.

  “It wasn’t hard, thanks to that benzodiazepine,” he answered, walking out of the sanitation room smearing his hands with sanitizer. “I couldn’t have wakened you if I tried, anyway.”

  “Thanks, Dad,” I grinned, hurrying between the long rows of cots to give him a hug. I wasn’t deceived by his careless tone; he’d planned the surprise carefully.

  “Andi!” called a feminine voice from the other side of the room. I looked over to see Olive, the beautiful nurse; a recent addition to sickbay. She waved at me, and I waved back. Though I’d resisted the idea of a nurse for a long time, it was easy for me to approve of Olive. She was bubbly, friendly, and always ready to carry her load of the work. “Glad you’re back. I was getting bored having nobody to help me with things.”

  I laughed, completely unable to imagine Olive being bored. “Well, I’m here now. You two been to breakfast?”

  “Only four hours ago.” The Doctor rubbed his hands thoughtlessly on his jacket and nodded towards my wrist, where my wristcom should have been.

  “Sorry, forgot to put it on. What time is it?” I started towards the door and waved at Olive, who waved back.

  “Lunchtime,” was his prompt answer, and he began walking beside me to mess hall. “Feeling better?”

  “Oh yes, much, much better. You were right, the sleep helped, and I’m happy to be back.” My old cheeriness bubbled up inside of me, and I was already feeling more like my old self.

  Just before we reached mess hall, the Doctor stopped me by taking hold of my arm. “I saw your brother this morning.”

  “How is he?” I asked, more soberly.

  “He was very quiet—just said that he was glad to see me back safely, and asked how our trip went. You’d better talk to him, but don’t let him get to you. I don’t want you going all gloomy again just when I’ve got you all happy.”

  I smiled at that, even as I felt my peppiness starting to slip away. Nodding soberly, I suggested, “Maybe Crash could help.”

  “I’ll find him and send him along.”

  “What, aren’t you coming in?”

  “After I find him. You go on, I’ll see you later.”

  Giving my arm a squeeze, he turned back down the corridor, and I had nothing to do but walk in.

  The spacious, warm room was about halfway between full and empty, and at first I couldn’t see where August sat. It wasn’t long, however, before I spotted his dark hair bending over an electronic book and a nearly-empty plate. He was sitting alone at a table near the end of the room. Taking note of his position, I trotted to the snack bar to get a tray of food. I glanced around for Almira, the cook, but she was nowhere to be seen.

  Taking a deep breath and putting a smile on my slightly nervous face, I marched over to where August sat. I hadn’t known him long, and he’d been far more affected by our father’s death than I had. I wasn’t sure exactly what to say to him.

  “August?” I said, by way of greeting. I set my tray down opposite him.

  His head flew up, and a glad light showed behind his eyes. “Andi!” He stood up and leaned over to squeeze my hand welcomingly. “So good to have you back.”

  “How have things been here?” I sat down, my trepidation quickly melting away.

  Sitting back in his chair, he flipped off the book, which I joyfully noticed was a Bible. “Fine. Pretty slow, actually. We’ve been moving gradually towards
Alpha fifty-four-thirty-three, waiting for you all to get back. Where were you this morning?”

  “Asleep!” I laughed. “Dad gave me a tranquilizer last night, and then I guess he or Crash carried me on whenever we arrived… when did we arrive?”

  “Early this morning, I think around three or four. I was asleep too.”

  “Good habit to sleep at three or four in the morning.”

  “I think so,” he smiled. His subdued tone made it hard to tell whether he was joking back or merely agreeing. I didn’t know yet how to read him very well, but I found myself looking forward to the days ahead, getting to know my brother. From the time we’d discovered we were siblings, we’d been in the throes of dangerous problems and risky situations. This would be our first real chance to have a normal conversation as brother and sister.

  “The Doctor was worried that you weren’t feeling well,” I ventured. “He said you were quiet when he saw you earlier.”

  “Oh, I‘m usually quiet. Besides, I—” he lowered his voice. “I don’t know your dad—Doctor Lloyd—very well. I know he means a lot to you, I just—I just haven’t gotten to know him very well yet.”

  Rather than being offended by this—as his stammering indicated he feared—I was amused. I understood what he didn’t want to say. The Doctor was so opinionated, and at times gruff and somewhat brusque, that he often made strangers a bit unsure of themselves. It didn’t bother those who knew and loved him, but I wasn’t surprised that August felt a bit shy around him.

  “It’s okay, I know what you mean. You’ll get used to his manner soon enough.”

  The worry lines in his forehead relaxed. “I’m sorry; I don’t want to seem rude…”

  “Good, because you don’t.”

  This made him laugh. “You’re funny, Andi. Where did you get your sense of humor?”

  “Hanging around the Doctor and Crash all these years, I guess. Speak of the devil,” I observed, as the aforementioned men approached carrying their lunch trays.

  “Not very complimentary, And,” grinned Crash, sitting beside me.

  “True, nonetheless,” said the Doctor with a nod at his nephew.

  “Hey, you know she was talking about you too, Uncle.”

  “I was not!” I cried indignantly. “I would never say such a thing about the Doctor, Eagle Crash, and you know it!”

  “May I ask...” began August.

  “Only if you ask nicely,” Crash interrupted.

  “Crash, you’re dreadfully hyper today,” I observed.

  A careless shrug was his only answer.

  Somewhat timidly, August asked his question. “If you don’t mind my asking… how did you get a name like Eagle?”

  “If you don’t mind me asking, how did you get a name like August?”

  “Crash, be nice,” I begged. “August is a real name.”

  “Do you mean to imply that Eagle isn’t?”

  “Yes I do.”

  “You two stop your bickering,” ordered the Doctor.

  “We’re not bickering,” Crash insisted.

  “Then stop whatever it is you’re doing.”

  “Having fun?”

  “Yes.”

  I giggled at the surprise on August’s face. Then my laugh died as I remembered that he’d never had a fun, healthy relationship with his father like I had with the Doctor and Crash.

  “Go away,” said the Doctor, pretending to be angry at his nephew. “You should have been up on the bridge an hour ago.”

  “But I haven’t eaten yet,” was the good-humored reply. “You can’t expect me to advise Trent on an empty stomach. The starvation might addle my brain.”

  The Doctor scoffed, and I grinned down at my soup. It was good to be home.

  III

  The Doctor, Olive, and I had little to do that afternoon, as there were few sicknesses or injuries. I helped with a routine check of a couple of patients who’d had the measles a few weeks before, and after they were dismissed, the Doctor gave me his trademark half-smile. “Thanks, Andi. I think Olive and I can handle things here for a while.”

  “Yes sir. Okay if I head up to the bridge?”

  He consented, and I flashed him a smile as I tripped out the door.

  When I reached the bridge I looked around happily. The stars flew past the large windows, and every position was occupied by a busy officer. The Captain sat in his raised chair in the command pit giving orders; Mr. Guilders, the stoic helmsman, sat at the fore along with August, the navigator. Mr. Ralston was also present, as well as three others who held the places of gunner, comm marshal and science exec. Crash loitered around inspecting everyone’s progress.

  “Second medical officer on the bridge, Captain,” I announced. He nodded at me with a brief smile before going back to work, and Guilders turned to greet me.

  “You’re well, Miss Andi?” was all he said.

  “Yes, thank you, Mr. Guilders. Yourself?”

  “I am doing well, thank you.”

  With a hint of a smile he turned back. I made my way over to the visitor’s chair, as the Captain asked the science exec, “Do you have that report for me, Mr. Whales?”

  “Yes sir.” The exec stood up and handed the Captain an electronic log.

  “Thank you. Mr. Crash, may I ask why you are wandering around pestering people?”

  Crash was leaning over Ralston’s shoulder, but he stood up at the sound of the Captain’s voice. “What would you like me to do, Captain Trent?”

  His half-mocking tone clashed with the dutiful words, and the Captain pulled his lips inward in an expression of irritation. “Any experience in engineering?”

  Instead of answering, Crash turned and strode out.

  I looked at the Captain, who watched him leave. “I suppose that means yes,” I said.

  The Captain only shook his head and turned back to the helm. “Warp twenty, Mr. Guilders.”

  Guilders replied calmly, “I don’t think the engines can handle it, sir.”

  “What do you—”

  “He’s right,” called Ralston. “Fission has slowed in the main reactor, and the antimatter inducer just went offline.”

  Tapping his fingers impatiently on the arms of his chair, the Captain pressed his finger to the button on his wristcom and asked, “Are you down there yet, Mr. Crash?”

  “Yes,” was the short answer.

  “Please check the antimatter inducer and the fission control.”

  “Will do.”

  “What warp factor do you recommend?” he asked Mr. Ralston.

  After doing a quick calculation on his computer screen, the data controller announced, “I’d say not over sixteen, to be safe.”

  The Captain gave another impatient tap, but only said, “Warp 16, Mr. Guilders. Mr. Howitz, plot course to…” Here he took a moment to consult the log Mr. Whales had given him. “Helios System, Alpha quadrant, sector fifty-four-thirty-three. Calculate and report new ETA.”

  “Yes sir,” said August promptly. His fingers flew over the controls as he plotted the course.

  I couldn’t help wondering, as August named the destination coordinates, if we really would find anything when we got there. Not that I would ever say so aloud. The Doctor would have my head if I did.

  “ETA to Helios System, two point eight days, present speed.”

  The Captain nodded. “And you’re sure that’s the best speed we can make, Mr. Ralston?”

  “I suppose we could try sixteen point five. But we really—”

  “Warp sixteen point five, Mr. Guilders.”

  “Aye, sir.” Guilders placed his finger on a slider in front of him and raised it one notch.

  “What are we going to do when we get there?” I asked as soon as I saw that there would be a lull in the commands.

  “We’ll track down the probes and determine the coordinates of the life readings. Then we’ll orbit the planet, form a landing party, and fly down to check the results.”

  “Who’ll be in the landing party?”


  “Mr. Whales, Mr. Ralston, Mr. Crash, myself… I don’t suppose you would care to come along?” His blue eyes twinkled at me.

  “If it’s okay with the Doctor.” I always loved being part of a landing party, no matter how hostile the conditions were on the planet. Usually, we’d land on the surface only to find an arid wasteland of gas, dust, sand, and rock. But there had been occasions when the planets, while not “life-producing,” were interesting and even pleasant to see. And we’d even found a few with plants, only nothing beyond that as of yet. “Can August come too?”

  The Captain glanced at August’s face, which wordlessly echoed my question. “If Mr. Guilders thinks he can spare him.”

  “I am confident that we will be able to replace him for a short time,” was Guilders’ satisfying answer.

  Before I could thank them both, the Doctor’s voice spoke from my wristcom. “Andi, come down here please.”

  “Be right there, Dad,” I replied, and hurried down to sickbay.

  It turned out that he needed my help with some laser burn patients. A panel had failed and burst open in monitoring, injuring several people, and a slow trickle of work kept us busy throughout the evening. I went to bed that night tired, but with the pleasant sensation of having had a productive day.

  My sleep, however, was not as pleasant. Again, my dreams were haunted by images of all the dangers the Doctor and I had been through. The worst was re-living the violent death of my father. Eventually I was startled awake by a blaster shot, and I sat up, adrenaline pumping through my body.

  After the first reassuring glance around, which revealed that I was safe in my room, I forced myself to breathe deeply and calmly. Laying a hand on my forehead, I felt cold beads of perspiration there, and shivered.

  I tried to think of other things. Sitting up in bed, I looked around the room. As the blankets slipped off of me, I felt a shiver run through my body. I was chilly in my thin nightgown, so I grabbed my uniform from the chair where I had flung it the night before. Changing into it, I snuggled into the thick green jacket with satisfaction.

  Just when I’d pulled on my favorite pair of fingerless gloves, my wristcom beeped, and I noticed that it was seven o’ clock. “Andi? You up?”