Sweet Reunion

by Melanie Shawn

  As Justin walked up the front path, he felt dread building in his gut about the idea of seeing his father, even for the few moments it would take to pick up Noah and be on their way. He wondered whether to knock or ring the bell. Dammit! He was a grown man. Why did his father make him feel unsure of himself, like some junior high kid trying to figure out how to ask some girl to the dance? He needed to take this situation in hand.

  As it turned out, though, the choice was a moot point, because Noah came barreling out of the front door when Justin was not even halfway up the walk. The kid moved like he was spring loaded, Justin observed in amazement.

  Rick Barnes followed Noah out more slowly. He smiled at Justin, and seemed equally unsure as to how to proceed. He gestured around at the yard and front of the house.

  “Looks pretty different, huh?” he asked, and Justin could detect a faint note of pride in his voice. Justin glanced around the yard coolly. “Did something change?” He asked, forcing his voice to sound indifferent and shrugging, “I hadn't noticed.”

  He thought he would feel a small measure of triumph at the wounded look which entered his father's eyes, but all he felt was a strange sense of disquiet. Was that guilt? Ridiculous. He owed Rick Barnes far worse than that little jab.

  Either way, he figured it was best to just get out of there. If there's one thing that hasn't changed, he grimaced to himself as he climbed back into the car with Noah, it's that my father brings out the worst in me. Always has, always will.

  --- ~ ---

  Justin turned to Noah, sitting next to him in the passenger seat, and willed himself to shake off the effects of his encounter with his father. He plastered a wide grin on his face and prayed that Noah wouldn't recognize it for the false, forced cheer that it actually was.

  He needn't have worried. Noah was abuzz with so much excitement and enthusiasm that he probably wouldn't have noticed if Justin sat in the driver's seat sobbing. He was utterly wrapped up in his own world of joy, and Justin began to feel enchanted by the boy's happiness.

  “So, I was thinking,” Justin began, “that, unless you have something else in mind that you'd like to do, we could head down into Tahoe. How does that sound?”

  “All right!” Noah exclaimed, pumping his fist into the air. “I was so excited last night I couldn't fall asleep! I just kept watching the window for the light to come.” Noah told him.

  “Me too,” Justin lied. Well, it was a half truth. Justin had, in fact, been unable to sleep the night before, but it was nerves rather than anticipation that had robbed him of slumber.

  “This is going to be the best day ever!” Noah enthused, wiggling in the passenger seat with excitement, looking out the window at the passing trees – trees that he must have seen a thousand times in his young life, but that now seemed suffused with magic and the promise of the day, because he was with his big brother.

  Justin was beginning to realize that Amanda was right, he really needn't have worried. This kid was not going to be judgmental of his halting efforts at connecting, he was simply so thrilled to be with him that there was a softly forgiving glow cast over any mistakes that Justin might make. With wonder, Justin realized that the glow was love. This kid, who he had barely met, loved him.

  To someone like Justin, someone who had been living an emotionally isolated existence for the better part of a decade – hell, longer than this sweet kid had been alive – it was an odd feeling to be the object of such blindingly abject devotion. But, Justin realized in the latest of his string of increasingly shocking revelations, he liked it. He liked it a whole lot.

  --- ~ ---

  “I win!” Noah exclaimed, running to retrieve his brightly colored golf ball from underneath the wooden windmill where it had gone into the hole.

  “You sure do!” Justin laughed, “I'm really horrible at this! How did you get so good?”

  “I'm very talented,” Noah said solemnly.

  Justin, struggling to keep a straight face, nodded at Noah with equal solemnity. “Agreed.” he intoned.

  “Plus,” Noah smirked slyly, “I can tell you're letting me win. But I don't care, because it's still fun.”

  Justin laughed, “You're a pretty smart little dude. Seriously, though, you're really good at this. How did you get so good?”

  “My Dad takes me,” Noah said, “He takes me when I get good grades, or when it's my birthday.”

  “Oh,” Justin said, “that's great.”

  Of course Rick took him, Justin chided himself. He was having a hard time reconciling the picture that Noah had been unintentionally painting of Rick all day through offhand comments – a Rick that was thoughtful, attentive, trustworthy, financially solvent, owned a car, and most of all was sober – with the Rick that Justin had known, and the image that Justin still held of him. These were two entirely different individuals.

  “Sometimes, when it's really special, my Dad will take me to the Forest Room, and we get food from the buffet, and we ask the waitress if we can sit where you can look at the lake. Sometimes the sun is going down and the sky is purple and orange!”

  “That sounds amazing,” Justin said. He was starting to get disheartened, thinking there was nothing that he could take Noah to go do that Rick didn't take him to all the time. Justin knew it was immature, but he suddenly had a competitive streak in him. He wanted to take Noah on an adventure that was entirely new, and theirs alone.

  Suddenly, inspiration struck. He knew the chances that his father would take Noah to Reno were slimmer than here in Tahoe, because Reno used to be the main place that he would disappear to on benders. If he were serious about his recovery, it probably wouldn't be a good idea for him to go down there just for fun.

  Justin looked at his watch. Plenty of time to drive another hour and a half, and still be back in Hope Falls by nightfall.

  “Hey, buddy,” he said, “Do you want to drive a little farther and go to Circus Circus?”

  “Yeah!” Noah replied, pumping his fist into the air in what Justin was starting to realize was a signature gesture of enthusiasm. Justin's heart skittered a little when it occurred to him that he really was getting to know this boy, his brother. He had only been with him for part of one morning so far, yet he was already starting to be familiar with his facial expressions, his cadences, his gestures, and his particular idioms.

  He marveled at the power of the bond with Noah that he felt strengthening in his soul, and the speed at which he felt it forming. There was no other word for it but “love.” Was that possible? Could he already love this child, after having spent less than two hours with him? Was that the magic of genetics?

  Justin smiled. He didn't care how or why he already felt a brotherly, almost a protective and paternal love for this child, he just knew that he did – and he was going to enjoy it.

  “Then Circus Circus it is,” Justin said, smiling affectionately down at Noah and ruffling his hair as they headed toward the car.

  Chapter 23

  Amanda was fast losing patience with Geoffrey. She was not the type of person whose patience often failed her, but it was definitely wearing thin right now.

  Amanda had pulled out all the stops in making a nice dinner for Geoffrey, who had just that afternoon flown back into town to spend time with her. She had cooked a special meal and done her best to make the dining room romantic with mood music and candles, in what Amanda hoped might signal a return to normalcy in their relationship.

  She didn't feel good about the kiss she had shared with Justin. It wasn't, she admitted readily, that it hadn't felt good, it certainly had. It was that she didn't feel good about it.

  Amanda was a good girl at heart. She wasn't wild, hadn't been even as a teenager. She was a homebody. She took care of people, like her father. She took care of the business. That had been part of Geoffrey's appeal – he didn't need taking care of, in fact, in many ways he took care of her.

  She was now beginning to realize, though, that the ways in which he pampered her, the lavish gi
fts, the spectacular weekend getaways – were not the ways in which she truly needed to be taken care of, deep down inside. They were amusements. And yet she'd let herself believe that a whole relationship could be based on those things alone.

  Still, she clung to the image of herself as someone who would never – NEVER – kiss another man while she was in a relationship. Despite all evidence to the contrary, she heard Karina's voice intoning dryly, and she smiled.

  Still, even though she had lost her head and given into the temptation of that one magical, tempestuous moment – she would NOT be the sort of person who left a relationship because they started another relationship behind their significant other's back. She would not be a cheater. She would make this relationship with Geoffrey work if it killed her, dammit.

  Still, a little voice inside whispered....but what if you knew you could trust Justin? What if you knew he was staying?

  She shouted down that little voice, and refused to entertain the idea. But no, she reminded herself, the reality is that I absolutely cannot trust him. That's the point. He hasn't even committed to staying here with me, not really. He's made comments that could be taken that way, but words were different than actions. She'd learned that the hard way. No matter what happens with Geoffrey, the one thing I know is that counting on Justin, trusting him with my deepest emotions, is not an option.

  So, she had settled in to make this evening with Geoffrey special. She had dressed up, in her fanciest dress. She had made her one really great, trusty, go-to fancy dish: Beef Wellington. She had placed lit candles on every surface that would stand still. Sure, it wasn't like Geoffrey jetting her off to Paris for a weekend (not a metaphor, it had actually happened), but in Amanda's world, that was her version of pulling out all the stops.

  But Geoffrey just couldn't seem to be present, be in the moment. All he kept talking about all evening was her father's will, and how they could find a loophole to sell the property faster, and finally Amanda had just about had it.

  “Listen, Geoffrey,” she said in frustration, throwing her napkin down on the table, “I honestly don't know how many more ways there are to say this, or how I can be clearer. I don't plan to sell Mountain Ridge Outdoor Adventures. I never plan to sell it. Honestly, I don't know why you care so much!”

  “Because, Amanda,” Geoffrey said intensely, but then seemed to falter. He seemed to be casting about to arrive at the reason why he kept pushing her about this issue, but this confused Amanda. As adamant as he was about pressuring her to sell the place, he should have a pretty good idea why he felt that way, shouldn't he?

  Geoffrey rolled his head from side to side, easing the tension in his neck. He breathed deeply and started again.

  “See here, Amanda,” he said in a much more even tone, “Don't you realize the life that we could have together? The adventure? The travel? If you are tied here, and in fact are even more firmly bound here than you were before, since you will be the ultimate authority at the little outdoor park, you will have no freedom to move about the world with me. I want a full time companion. I thought that you would be that person, but I'm beginning to suspect you have no interest in filling that role.” This last bit was said with a bit of a pout, but Amanda had the sense that it was all for show, that he was watching her carefully through downcast lids to see if his performance was having its desired effect.

  Amanda shook her head, “No, Geoffrey, you're absolutely correct about that. I have zero interest in flitting around the world with you and getting spa treatments and 'doing lunch' at an assortment of interchangeable hotels while you're off doing business deals. That's not a life I would ever want, but especially when that option is stacked up against running my family business, the business that I love, and maintaining my father's legacy. Those two choices aren't even in the same realms. Honestly, if you thought I was going to run off with you and be your little trophy playmate, I don't think you really know me at all...I don't think you have any real idea of who I actually am.”

  They sat in stunned silence, staring at each other, lost in their own thoughts. Amanda was honest with herself, maybe for the first time in their entire relationship, when she admitted that she had no real idea at all what was going on inside Geoffrey's mind, and now she wondered if she ever had. He definitely didn't know what was going on in hers, and she was beginning to wonder if he ever had, as well. She was starting to look back over their entire time together through a jaded lens, viewing their interactions with a new and cynical spin.

  He had looked at her and seen a wholesome and attractive young mountain girl and wanted to show her off, got a kick out exposing her to the finer things in life and seeing her awed reactions. It made him feel like a hero. He had allowed himself, she suspected, to believe that because she was delighted by his various impressive gestures one weekend every month or two that she would be all too eager to abandon her world and turn it into a lifestyle.

  She, however, had been equally as guilty of seeing what she wanted to see in their pairing. She had taken all of his dazzling plans and grand gestures as more than just spectacular baubles waved in front of her face to impress her, but rather as tokens of true affection. She had thought that if he were willing to go to all the trouble he went to for her every time they saw each other, that must mean that he really cared, deep down inside.

  They were both discovering, somewhat painfully, that their thoughts and assumptions about the other were complete and utter fabrications of their own imaginations.

  Still, thought Amanda, this is a horrible time to make a lasting decision about a big life event like whether to break up with Geoffrey or not. Better to sleep on it, and talk the next day.

  Amanda stood. “Look, Geoffrey,” she said, “I feel like emotions are running high. Why don't we table this whole thing and call it a night? I'll phone you in the morning.”

  Geoffrey stood with haughty grace and made his exit. As he was stepping out the front door, Amanda called after him, “We'll talk tomorrow!” but he did not respond. Her only answer came when she heard his car start up outside and drive away.

  Amanda rolled her eyes. “Love you too, babe!” she called sarcastically to the empty air as she started to clear the table.

  “Thanks, honey,” came a voice from the kitchen archway, causing Amanda to jump a foot in the air, dropping the forks and spoons she had in her hands, and let loose a shrill scream. She whirled and saw Justin standing in the archway laughing, and then he started a slow clap. “Perfect 10 from the Russian judge!” he cackled.

  “Oh my God, so not funny!” she exclaimed, clutching her chest.

  “Then why are you laughing?”

  She giggled, “OK, decent point. God, you scared me!”

  He gestured at the table, “Nice spread, kid. Did you whip this up yourself?”

  “Yup, sure did. Spent all afternoon on it, actually. Not that it mattered.”

  “It doesn't even look touched. Are you just tossing it?”

  She gave him a half smile, “Justin, are you hinting at wanting to join me?”

  He returned the sly half smile as he smoothly slid into Geoffrey's recently vacated seat. “Look at me, haven't lost my touch,” he winked.

  She sat down opposite him, her lips curved in the smile that seemed to be permanently affixed to her face when Justin was around.

  “So, what happened? Did Prince Charming turn back into a pumpkin?”

  “OK, funny man,” she said, “enough fractured fairy tales. There'll be plenty of time to get into my tale of woe later. Right now, I'm dying to hear about your day out with Noah.”

  Justin leaned back in his chair and a slow smile of delight spread across his face until his entire visage was lit with pure joy.

  “Oh, man, Amanda. It was so great. He's the best kid! All day long, there kept being these little moments. He would do something, or say something, and I would recognize it. It was like, I was getting to know him, but in a way I already knew him, if that makes sense. I don't know how to
explain it.”

  “He's your brother,” Amanda smiled, “there's an inexplicable thing that goes on between family, a genetic synchronicity, and you and Noah have it.”

  “I think that's it,” Justin agreed, “I never felt it with my own father, because there were so many other things in the way. I never met my mother. Noah's the first real family I've ever had. It feel like...I don't know how to describe it. It's...just...it's....”

  “Intoxicating,” Amanda finished for him.

  “Yes!” Justin exclaimed with a lopsided smile, “That's the perfect word. I feel like I'm high. High on human connection. I wonder if there's a way to bottle this feeling and sell it. I'd make a fortune.”

  Amanda felt so warm and happy inside watching Justin describe his day with his brother, seeing joy light his eyes. She knew what her intoxicant of choice was. She was getting high on Justin's happiness.

  All of a sudden, clarity descended on her like a light switching on. She saw the two halves of her evening in stark contrast to one another. The way she had felt when Geoffrey was sitting in that chair, and the way that she felt now that Justin was. Sure, she might not know where things would end up with Justin. But she knew where they were going to end up with Geoffrey.

  “I'm breaking up with Geoffrey,” she pronounced, amazement infused in her voice. “I just realized I have to.”

  “Wow, you just realized that?” Justin quipped, giving her his sexy smile. Wait, who was she kidding? All of his smiles were sexy. This particular smile was #111, the I’m-So-Sexy-When-I’m-Right smile. “I realized that the first time I met him.”

  Amanda laughed, “The girls are on your side there. Especially Karina. She disliked Geoffrey from the moment she met him.”