Unable to stand it any longer, Natalie made a move. “Would you like to join me in a game of darts?”
“I’m not very good at darts.” His voice was soft, with an English public-school accent.
“That doesn’t matter.”
To start with he was way off target and they both laughed. He improved quickly, making it even more fun. In the end, he won all three games but displayed no arrogance, just a quiet confidence that made him attractive. The ongoing chatter of raised voices on the terrace limited conversation but Natalie managed to discover Rod would be remaining in Alotau for a few days on business.
Shirley arrived at her house the next day. “What did you think of him?”
“He’s gorgeous.”
“I told you. You’d better arrange a babysitter for tonight. There’s a party down this way. I’ll make sure he comes.” With that she was gone, already late for work.
Not even stopping to comb her hair, Natalie grabbed Chris and rushed to Rose’s place. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face. Rose answered the door. “You look happy.”
“I’ve just met the most handsome man in the world and he’s coming to a party tonight.”
“How wonderful! Chris can spend the night with me. That way you don’t have to worry about anything.”
Natalie leant forward and gave her a hug.
She had no difficulty finding the party. The blaring din could be heard from her house. Arriving there around 7.30, Natalie found the room already heaving with people, drinking and jiving to the beat of the music. She was welcomed by the familiar crowd and tried for a while to shout to them over the racket but gave it up as a lost cause. Before long Shirley arrived with her friends. Natalie couldn’t contain herself. She leant toward her, speaking directly into her ear. “Is he coming?”
“He’ll be here. Don’t worry.”
Natalie swayed to the music, feeling the rhythm inside her, interrupting herself from time to time to fill her glass. Again, she waited. Has he changed his mind? She checked the time. Already nine o’ clock. Natalie sighed. She leant against the wall where she could watch everyone else enjoying themselves. Her reverie was disturbed by a warm touch on her shoulder. A tingling sensation passed through her body. She turned, looking up into his smiling face with its glittering brown eyes.
“Shall we dance?”
Initially, they discoed separately, but the hot bodies of other dancers pushed them closer. When the music slowed, she wrapped her arms around his neck and moved her hips in time with his. Nothing existed outside the two of them. They edged closer until their bodies melted into each other and they danced as one. Natalie rested her head on his shoulder, her chest heaving with growing desire. All she wanted was to be alone with him. She wasn’t sure what he felt but he certainly wasn’t resisting. How do I get him on his own? She didn’t want to appear forward or trigger rejection. Finally, she succumbed to her own desire. “Would you like to come to my place for coffee?”
“Sure. My vehicle’s just around the corner.”
Oblivious of everyone, they left hand-in-hand. Rod opened the passenger door of his four-wheel drive vehicle for her. It was strangely cold and quiet. Natalie looked up through the windscreen at the full-moon glowing through the gently swaying palm fronds. The engine roared into life. The short trip home through the dark held a strangely unfamiliar air, almost like a fairy-tale journey, the music fading as they passed into another reality. As they drew up, she realised she was trembling, either with cold or nervousness.
Rod opened the car door for her. She rushed up the steps, fumbling for her key. It was strange to walk into an empty house. No Chris. She started to make her way toward the kitchen. Rod caught her by the arm. “I don’t really want coffee. Do you?” He took her in his arms and kissed her softly on the lips. I’m safe after all. They continued to stand in the living area, cuddling and kissing, the passion reviving.
Finding their way to the bedroom, they undressed quickly and collapsed onto the bed. The moon coming through the window showed off his beautiful, lithe, yet muscular body as he caressed her, arousing her whole body. She responded with growing excitement but he continued to take his time, expressing his feelings in a way that made her feel special. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. When he entered her his movements created sensations she’d never experienced before. He brought her to orgasm over and over, before finally climaxing himself. She felt herself relax into deeper and deeper levels of herself until all was peace and love. They lay together in each other’s arms, their hot bodies, cooled by the gentle breeze coming through the window. “I love you,” Rod muttered, before collapsing into a sleep of exhaustion. Natalie, on the other hand, could not give up one moment of ecstasy, lying there, her mind reliving the wonder of every moment together.
At about two o’clock he awoke, got up and quietly dressed. “I’d better get back to the guest house. I don’t want your reputation sullied.”
“Can’t you stay a little longer?”
“No, I’d better get going.”
With that, he was gone but Natalie didn’t feel alone. He was in her heart now. She hardly slept all night.
Next morning she was awoken by a knock at the door. It was Shirley. “Get dressed quickly. Jan is taking us all out in the guest house bus for a picnic beside the river. She’ll be here in about 15 minutes. Don’t worry about food. She has everything organised. I’ll collect Chris while you can get ready.”
Still blurry with lack of sleep, Natalie had a cold shower and dressed. She grabbed swimming costumes and towels.
Chris rushed in the door, shouting with glee. “We’re going for a picnic, on a bus.”
Sure enough, the bus pulled up a few minutes later. Natalie got on, agonising over whether Rod would be there. She scrutinised each of the passengers as she made her way up the passageway. About halfway along she found him, sitting with an empty seat beside him. Uncertain whether it was appropriate to sit there, she did anyway.
Shirley walked up from the back of the bus. “We’ll look after Chris.” She carried him back to join her friends.
The drive was a long one, giving them the chance to get to know each other better. Rod’s eyes lit up when he enthused about playing rugby. “I represented Papua New Guinea in Sydney recently.”
That explains his athletic build.
“I’ve played in various overseas countries. Sydney was my favourite city. There was so much to see.” They shared memories of Sydney, creating an affinity that fed their already growing sense of intimacy. The bus continued for many miles along a gravel road through thick, virgin rainforest, finally pulling up beside a river that rippled, crystal clear, over pebbles of various hues.
Everyone leapt into the water with relief, cooling off after the long drive. Natalie and Rod joined Shirley and her friends for lunch, enjoying the chicken and salad that Jan had prepared. She was feeling ready for a nap when Rod suggested they go for a walk.
“Yes, you go for a walk. Chris will be fine here with us,” said Shirley.
Natalie followed Rod along a grassy track beside the river. When they turned a curve, he took her hand. They sat together on the bank, listening to the chirping of birds that dipped from time to time into the water. He drew her to him and kissed her on the lips before diving into the river. “Come on in.”
She swam over to him and he held her close, his warm body contrasting dramatically to the cold water. The touch of their wet bodies created a thrill of excitement. Natalie looked up into Rod’s brown eyes, speechless under their spell. As she swung her legs around his waist, he began to kiss her more passionately. They began to move rhythmically together. He then let go of her and swam to the opposite shore where he braced himself against a solid tree root that extended into the river. Natalie joined him, snuggling up to him once more. This time when she put her legs around him, he pushed her lower and entered her. Natalie looked up at the enormous tree and the blue sky with its scattering of wispy clouds as she felt her a
rousal build. She surrendered herself to sensations that flowed through her body in harmony with the current of the river, experiencing a sense of being at one with all of nature as they shared their mutual sensitivity, climaxing together. Rod continued to hold her in his arms, bestowing his tender love upon her.
Finally, they made their way back to the others. Embarrassed, Natalie initially avoided eye contact, but they were soon included in the general chatter and all was well.
On the return trip, Rod held her hand in his. She leant on his shoulder, drifting into much-needed slumber.
Over the next few days, Rod was busy with work, spending most of his time out of town. He dropped by one evening to let her know he was returning home the following day. He’d write and let her know when he’d be back. He reassured her he loved her before giving her a peck on the cheek and disappearing. So disappointing! We had such a short time together. Knowing he loves me will have to do for now.
Natalie continued to find satisfaction in her work, linking people in remote villages to the modern world, providing them with opportunities for the future. Once they had an income, all manner of things could be purchased. Where generators had been acquired, children and adults were soon sitting together in the open air, watching foreign videos on communal televisions. At times she wondered how beneficial this was, removing people from their protected existence and raising expectations that might prove difficult to reach. Life moves on whether you want it to or not.
As she provided the means for people to see into her world, she learnt from theirs. The warmth of women kinship groups, sharing responsibility for child-raising, seemed to work so much better than the spousal relationship back home where, with both parents increasingly taking on employment, children were left in professional child care centres. She recalled how much Chris had hated being left in a centre. He was thriving in this culture, living with a minimum of restrictions, where he could explore the world at his own pace in the company of loving people. He was no longer the ‘bad boy’ and the surliness and resentment that had typified his former life had disappeared. Nor was Natalie lonely any more. Wherever she went she was amongst friends.
Finally, the day came when Rod was due to return. He’d arranged to meet her at the post office at 4 o’clock. All day she was on tender-hooks, counting down the hours and minutes. It was closer to 3.30 than 4.00 when she arrived at the meeting place, so restless she could hardly contain herself, smiling and chatting to passers-by. Alas, he did not arrive. At 4.45 she started going into shops to ask if anyone knew if the plane from Popondetta had arrived. She was always hearing about plane crashes in the highlands and her mind went wild with worry, imagining what might have happened. Nobody had any news. She made her way to the guest house but, no, he didn’t seem to be there either so she returned to the shops. As her anxiety built she became more frantic, stopping passers-by to beg for information.
Shirley drew up beside her in the car. “Get in. Everyone will be gossiping about you.”
“I’m worried about him.”
“He’ll be all right. He knows where you live. He’ll find you if he wants to.”
“But Shirley, you brought us together. We love each other.”
“You might love him but he’s a man and a National what’s more. You’re expecting too much from him.”
“He told me he loves me.”
“That only means he fancies you, not that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. His family will have a big say about who he marries.”
Tears started to trickle down her face. Shirley stopped the car at Natalie’s house and went around to where she was sitting. Shirley took her in her arms, holding her close. Natalie sobbed inconsolably.
“I’m sorry. I was trying to give you a bit of fun. I didn’t think you’d take it so seriously.”
It was three days before Rod turned up at her house, unannounced, at 9:30 in the evening. Fortunately, Chris was already in bed asleep. True to the pledge she’d made to herself, she didn’t complain. However, conversation was awkward. They’d become the two strangers they really were. Their copulation was brief and inconsequential. They both knew that it was over.
Chapter 22
It was a wake-up call for Natalie. She’d let her life drift along without thinking about the consequences. Enough drunken parties. That’s not what I’m here for. Chris has to be my priority. She now spent far more time with him, making mosaics from bark and leaves, playing ball games and hiding-go-seek. He loved the beach, of course, and could swim proficiently by the time he was three. By four, he could count and read simple stories. Natalie held her breath when he shimmied up palm trees to knock down coconuts, but he managed with agility, just as he did, paddling dug-out canoes with his friends. She retained close friendships with Shirley, Rose and other local women, with the occasional visit to Shirley’s village. With none of them able to afford the expense of holidaying in other parts of the country, she contented herself with remaining in the local area.
PNG’s impending independence from Australia loomed throughout 1975. Most of the power had been handed over in stages but 16th September was marked as Independence Day. “Do you think there’ll be much celebration in Alotau?” she asked Samuel one day.
“I doubt they’ll bother too much.”
On 15th August she read in the newspaper that the new constitution had been adopted and power over foreign affairs and defence was being transferred from the Australian government to PNG.
When independence finally came, it might have been significant to politicians but was a non-event with ordinary people. Some locals gathered at Alotau high school for a celebration of traditional dancing, followed by a feast of pork, chicken and vegetables. The Bird of Paradise flag replaced the Australian one on the flag-pole. Yet, there wasn’t any real excitement.
Her work, initially so precious to her, had brought little in the way of real change. Coppers given to local communities were sucked into a giant hole. Bank statements showed money had disappeared with nobody able to account for it. Receipts were missing and records lost. Unmaintained boat engines were left to go rusty on the outskirts of villages. Generators ceased to function through lack of use. The novelty of the modern world had worn off.
“What have I done wrong?”
Samuel shrugged his shoulders. “This is Papua New Guinea. Corruption is rife. Don’t worry about it. You’ve done your best. Just focus on villages that are co-operating and help them.” It was as straightforward as that. Public funds had gone missing and nobody cared. Samuel told her to value her successes, mostly in larger villages close to Alotau.
Yet, Natalie yearned for more from life. As her two-year contract drew to a close, she found herself looking forward to returning to the modern world. Though she loved the warmth and inclusiveness of PNG people, she was a square peg in a round hole. So much of her remained hidden from those who could not understand the depth of her thinking. It was like a diet of meat and three veg that had become boring. She wanted to taste all the flavours of the world, craving the more informed conversation of educated people. What had started as an adventure in paradise had become mundane.
As for Chris, he was now a happy four and a half-year-old, spoilt by the love and attention of local people who doted on his every need. He was a bright boy who, although he fitted in with the locals better than Natalie, also loved the books and videos that provided a glimpse of that other world so far away. With only a year remaining until he started school, Natalie knew he needed to adjust to the challenges and expectations of a more demanding world. His future would be far different from that of the local children with whom he played. They might be able to continue their carefree existences but their aspirations were far lower than those Natalie had for Chris.
Despite her readiness to move forward in life, their departure from Alotau was heart-rending. All their friends gathered around them at the airport. She shook hands with Albert and Samuel, who thanked her for her work and wished her well for t
he future. With the women, it was more distressing. They wept profusely as they clung to her. “Promise you’ll come back, sister,” begged Shirley. Natalie nodded, by now crying as much as the others. As she went around the circle hugging each, in turn, she felt like she was saying goodbye to her family. Poor little Chris seemed overwhelmed by all the emotion as he was hugged and kissed by those who’d loved and cared for him over the previous two years.
Finally, they boarded the plane and were on their way to Port Moresby. As Natalie looked down at the palm plantations, a wave of sadness swept over her. They were leaving behind forever this special time in their lives. She reflected back on the high expectations she’d had when she first saw this panorama. Has the experience measured up? The friendships she’d made were far beyond anything she’d hoped for, yet she’d never really belonged. She wanted so much more from life than what satisfied these gentle people. It was not enough for her to simply float along with whatever the day brought. Her questioning mind was never satisfied. More than that, she wanted to make an impact, to use her life for some good.
Natalie’s thoughts moved to the future. With no job lined up, she was nervous about what lay ahead. One thing for certain, she was a different person from the one who’d left Australia. The material world would never hold her in its grips, as it did with many in the modern world. Looking down at Chris, asleep on the seat beside her, she realised she, alone, was now totally responsible for this little boy. As she watched the past receding, she felt small and vulnerable.
At Mascot Airport they joined the throngs of departing passengers. So many people. So much noise. Finally, they were through all the checks. Natalie looked around the waiting crowd for her parents but Chris saw them first. He rushed into Delyth’s open arms. She held him for a few moments before he pulled away to eagerly tell her all about his life in Papua New Guinea. On the drive back to Newcastle, Natalie sat in the back seat beside him, fascinated to hear all the familiar characters from their former life described through Chris’s eyes. As she listened, the loss of friends, left behind, weighed heavily upon her. How much closer she still felt to them than to the family with whom she was now cocooned.
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