Occasionally Natalie tried to add a comment but her parents quickly used this as an opportunity to change the subject, updating them on the lives of family and friends, who no longer held any interest to her. Lulled by the chatter and motion of the car, she withdrew into her own world, watching the familiar sites pass by. Sitting like this in the back seat, she became once more the little girl she’d once been, the one who should be seen and not heard. Yet, for Chris, there was none of that.
On arrival at the house, Natalie settled herself back into her old room. With Karen having moved out, Chris was excited to have his own bedroom, now freshly decorated in blue with an abundance of new toys. Mum called them to dinner. The smell of the barbequed chook they’d bought on route was appetising. As she sat down at the big, old kitchen table, Natalie looked around at the slightly faded paintwork. The view through the window was unchanged. The big yard was impeccable with its neatly mown lawn and tidy flower beds. Once more, she felt herself go back in time to a place she didn’t want to be, a place that was familiar in one way but foreign in another. As she ate her meal, she felt her newly gained confidence drain away as she was slipped back into the child role beside Chris.
Her reverie was interrupted by her father’s gruff voice. “I hope, Natalie, you’re ready to settle down and put being a mother first. If you find yourself a nice, little part-time job in Newcastle your mother can help look after Chris. It’s not doing him any good being left with strangers.” She was hardly off the plane and her autonomy was being challenged. One place for certain I will not be looking for work is Newcastle.
Natalie found work in Sydney but, rather than feeling at home there, she found she now had little in common with those around her. They weren’t interested in her overseas experiences or her new perspectives on life. Once again she was a fish out of water, doing her best to adapt to the fast-paced, achievement-oriented, materialist world. It was hard raising Chris, as well as working full-time, but she was determined to have a life and a career of her own. She didn’t want to end up resenting being a woman, like her mother.
Chris struggled too. His first year back, spent with a child-minder, playing with her children, was tolerable, but the following year, the discipline of school life created a real challenge for him. Though successful with both lessons and sport, he was a little too opinionated and bossy to win the friendship of other students. Natalie became the brunt of his frustration. However, with his grandparents, on their irregular visits, he continued to be the centre of attention, enjoying his time with them.
Chapter 23
1949
Delyth was disappointed the business hadn’t forged ahead as they’d hoped. Though he did his best, Gwyn was constrained by the supply of materials from England, which came in bulk and then nothing for weeks. Without storage space, he didn’t have stock when he needed it. The frustration drove him mad. “The English look after themselves all right but they never look in our direction to give us a fair go.” Fortunately, he no longer took his temper out on her. She was scared the stress of it all would drive him back to the pub but he seemed to have turned over a new leaf.
Word got out about the delays in completion of Gwyn’s work and the number of sign-ups dwindled. They struggled to compete with Whimpy and Laing, two companies that’d established a solid base in Swansea. With plenty of whare-house space available, they could keep stock supplied and didn’t suffer the delays Gwyn was forced to contend with. The constant rain and wind didn’t help. “If I could get the outside work done, I could work inside when the weather’s foul. That’d be easier done if I had a few jobs on the go.”
Delyth tried to offer what support she could. She spent money on bigger ads in ‘The Observer’ and ‘Evening Post’ and plastered the shop notice-boards in Pontardawe, as well as Trebanos, with posters offering special deals, but there was little response.
Slow progress upset those awaiting completion of work. People, who’d once been friends, berated them on the street. The tension was getting to Delyth. She avoided the shops for fear of meeting up with customers and having to deal with their complaints. Delays in finishing jobs and receiving payment meant they got behind with the overdraft and bills were left unpaid. The bailiff, with a summons to court for an unpaid account, became a regular visitor to their home. As he handed her each notice, he scowled at her in a way that made her feel totally demeaned. Delyth trembled every time she heard someone at the door. One day, there was a knock and Delyth, standing in the kitchen preparing lunch for Gwyn, burst into tears. He looked up from what he was reading.
“I can’t take any more criticism about how we’re failing to pay our bills on time.”
Gwyn came over and put his arm around her. “Don’t worry love. I’ll sort it out. Nobody could have tried harder than you. It’s not your fault.”
He answered the door and accepted the summons.
Chapter 24
1981
Hoping to make new friends, Natalie joined Parents without Partners. Though not advertised as a dating agency, she harboured a secret hope of finding someone special with whom to share her life. Chris was now nine years old. He needs a father-figure. Looking through the programme she decided on a family outing.
It was a pleasant day, with just a scattering of clouds drifting across the sky, when she pulled up at a large, well-grassed park overlooking a river. A crowd of people was already milling about, mostly mums with children in tow, a few fathers dotted amongst them. Romance appeared to be blooming with some couples. Chris raced off to join children on the play equipment, giving Natalie an opportunity to introduce herself to some of the women.
“How long have you been separated?” one asked.
“I’ve always been on my own.” The last thing she wanted was rake over the past, especially the story of Peter’s loss. Others didn’t share her view. One after another, women talked about betrayal, abuse and other misdemeanours that had resulted in relationship break-ups. This was certainly not what she was looking for. Natalie ambled away, heading towards the equipment to see how Chris was faring.
Unlike her, he seemed to be having a great time, impressing other children by climbing higher on the pyramid than anyone else and doing complicated acrobatics. A clean-shaven man with blue eyes and tidy, brown hair wandered over. He nodded his head toward Chris. “That little boy’s impressive.”
“That’s my son. He’s always on the go.”
The man pointed to two little girls, dressed identically in pink, sitting quietly on a nearby bench. “They’re mine. I have them every second weekend. This is my first time with Parents without Partners.”
“Same here. I’m Natalie.”
“Matthew. It’s sometimes awkward if I have to take the girls to the toilet or something when I’m out. I thought it might be easier in a group to get some help. Not that I’m much good in groups. I’m pretty quiet. I’d just as soon sit and read a book as watch a football game.”
They chatted for a while until the smell of onions enticed them to the barbeque. While Matthew lent a hand with cooking, Natalie helped prepare the salads, where she found herself in the midst of a lot of noise and idle chatter.
After the meal, some people drifted away while others formed small groups to walk around the park or along the river. Natalie was wondering what to do when Chis bounded up, “Can we go to the river? I want to swim.”
“I’m not sure if it’s warm enough to go in the water. I’ll get a towel from the car and we can have a look.”
Of course, it wasn’t too cold for Chris. After splashing about for a while, several other children stripped off to their underwear to join in. Matthew wandered over with his girls. “Do you want to go in for a swim?” he asked them.
They both shook their heads.
He turned to Natalie. “I wonder if you’d like to come over to my place for a barbeque in two weeks’ time. The children could play together.”
Natalie hesitated for only a moment. “That sounds like a lovely id
ea.”
Natalie’s thoughts kept flashing back to Matthew. He’s a really nice man. He seems so genuine and he’s good looking. She became more restless as the weekend drew closer, fussing about the house, instead of relaxing with a book. It’s a long time since I’ve been on a date. The more she thought about him, the more she liked him. So far, he hadn’t treated her in the patronising manner she’d become accustomed to with many Australian men.
The day arrived fine and sunny. Natalie took her time getting dressed and putting on her makeup. She turned around in front of the mirror. The fitted shirt and jeans showed off her curves to good effect. Chris looked smart too, in his new t-shirt and shorts. On their arrival, Matthew invited them into a small, neatly decorated town-house. Obviously, his wife’s retained the family home. Natalie placed the salad and dessert she’d prepared on the kitchen bench, pleased to see it was scrupulously clean. The girls dragged Chris off to their room to show him their toys.
The conversation and meal went smoothly. She felt an easy rapport with Matthew and the children were getting on well together. From time to time she’d find one or other of the girls sitting on her lap, cuddling into her or asking her to dress a dolly or do some other girlie thing. It was the kind of closeness she’d never been able to develop with Chris. At the end of the afternoon, it was agreed Matthew would visit her for lunch in two weeks’ time when he had the girls again. As she left he gave her a warm hug. The blood surged through her veins making her feel light-headed.
He followed up with the occasional phone call, helping them get to know each other better. It seemed he’d experienced a difficult time in his marriage. Being a soft, gentle person, he’d struggled to cope with the discord of a dominating wife. Natalie listened, offering what comfort she could.
Sunday was overcast and drizzly. Chris was irritable from the start. “I don’t want those silly girls coming here. I’m going to hide my toys so they can’t play with them.”
“They shared their toys with you.”
“Stupid dolls! I’m telling you now, I’m not going to play with them.”
“Please be polite, for my sake.”
“I don’t care about you.”
Now was not the time to get involved in an argument. Chris would only get worse and Matthew was due any minute. The sound of a car pulling up, caught her attention. Natalie was waiting for the knock when Chris rushed past her and opened the door. Matthew stood there, smiling, a colourful bunch of flowers in one hand. The girls stood close behind him, one in a pink frock and one in blue, both with bows in their hair.
“We’ve changed our minds and don’t want you here today,” Chris announced.
Natalie stepped forward, pushing Chris aside. “Take no notice. Come in.”
Matthew, now flushed in the face, stumbled through the door.
Chris immediately accosted him. “Why did you bring flowers? We’ve got plenty in the garden. Mum doesn’t like to cut them and watch them die.”
Matthew lowered them to his side.
I’ll kill him later. Natalie smiled, hoping to reassure him. “Would you like a drink?”
“A cup of tea would be nice.”
She led the way to the kitchen, turned on the kettle and got some fruit juice for the children. The flowers lay on the bench where Matthew had left them. “I’m really sorry about that. The flowers are lovely. I’ll get a vase for them.”
Natalie and Matthew had just sat down at the kitchen table with their mugs of tea when Chris stomped up to Matthew. “You need to know I’m the man of the house here. We don’t need a father and I don’t want any sisters.”
Matthew stood up, looking across at Natalie. “It might be better if we left.”
“Please stay and have lunch.” The aroma of the casserole wafted from the oven. “It’s nearly cooked. Can’t you ignore him?”
“I’m afraid I don’t need this but we’ll stay for the meal since you’ve taken the trouble to prepare it. I’ll take the girls outside to play while you finish off.”
Natalie looked around for Chris but he’d disappeared. His bedroom door was closed.
It was too late to do anything now. Nothing she could say to Chris would make any difference anyway. He’s a bully, just like his grandfather. She finished off the meal and dished up. Matthew and the girls sat down at the table while Chris remained in his room. They ate in awkward silence and Matthew left with the girls straight after the meal.
Natalie returned from seeing them off to discover Chris at the table eating his lunch as if nothing had happened.
“How dare you behave like that.”
“They won’t be back.”
“No, you fucking little bastard. You’re determined I won’t have any happiness, aren’t you?”
“You’ve got me. That’s enough. You better get used to it because there’s not going to be anyone else. Get that into your head now.”
“Go to your room.”
He grabbed his plate and stormed off.
Natalie sat in the lounge room, listening to banging and thumping noises coming from Chris’s room.
After about twenty minutes she went in. Everything was piled up on the floor – his toys, all the clothes from his wardrobe including the hangars, the blankets and sheets off his bed and even the mattress.
“You’ll have to clean up that mess before you go to bed tonight.”
“No, I won’t. You want it cleaned up, you do it. I don’t care if I sleep on the floor. It just proves what a bad mother you are.”
Natalie walked away.
The following day she put his clothes away but left the rest. When nothing had changed by the weekend, she surrendered to his greater will and cleaned up the room while he was outside playing.
As she’d expected there was no further phone call from Matthew. No point going back to Parents Without Partners. It will be just Chris and me for the foreseeable future.
Chapter 25
Natalie caught her breath as she drew up in the car park at Crystal Gardens Nursing Home. She made her way up the long, sweeping driveway between an avenue of deciduous trees, wondering what lay in store. This was the first day of her new job. Her attention was drawn to a huge, old oak tree, so heavy with foliage that its spreading branches caressed the ground as they swayed gently in the breeze. The lawns extended into the distance, well-tended, like the gardens surrounding the big, old home. It was rather a strange looking building, with the roof having a number of asymmetrical peaks. The walls were of a solid concrete construction, painted cream in colour. What a peaceful place.
The singing of birds and the fragrance of frangipani greeted her as she climbed the five steps onto the front porch. Heavy double doors were made of glass within a solid wooden frame. She opened the door to enter a darkened foyer. Looking into the room on her right, she glimpsed a beautiful, old dining setting, which suggested the majesty of former times. However, as her eyes became accustomed to the dimness, she noticed the cracked walls and peeling paint.
Expecting to meet Matron, Natalie glanced into the office on her left but found it empty. Ahead of her was an enormous hall-like room. One side was almost totally glass, containing four double doors and four windows. This room was flooded with sunlight. It was full of life. There was movement everywhere and with it the buzzing sound of a myriad of wheeled chariots. These chariots were, indeed, the electric wheel-chairs of the physically disabled, whizzing around at seemingly amazing speeds. She supposed these monstrous chairs were driven by human beings, but initially, she noticed the chairs, not the people.
Natalie advanced through this room to the large, residents’ dining room, dominated by long tables. A kitchen was directly in front of her. A number of staff sat at the end of one of the tables sharing a pot of tea. Natalie introduced herself.
“Matron’s off today. Have a cuppa with us.”
Natalie sat down and a cup of tea was put in front of her. The cheery banter was interrupted by the approach of an electric chair. She looked arou
nd to see herself being scrutinised by one of the residents. This man, probably in his thirties, had a long, flowing beard, a mixture of grey and red in colour, a balding head and a face creased by worry lines. His green eyes twinkled with mischief. “My name’s William.” His back was straight and he spoke with an air of authority. Natalie wondered if he might be able to show her the ropes and introduce her to other residents, but before she could ask, he’d spun his chair around and disappeared.
The rest of the day went at a gentle pace, with Natalie reading about the organisation and its clients from information she found in her office. Most of the residents, now young adults, suffered from congenital conditions – Duchenne muscular dystrophy, spina bifida and cerebral palsy. Natalie was dismayed to learn that those with muscular dystrophy only had a life expectancy of between fourteen and twenty years. Curious about William’s condition, Natalie read his file, finding he had a different form of muscular dystrophy, giving him a life expectancy into his forties.
After that, it was a relief to finish the day and drive the short distance to the child-minder’s place, where she found Chris playing happily with the sitter’s two sons.
Next morning Natalie arrived at Matron’s office to discover a heavy-set woman, with blonde, frizzy hair, dressed in pastel colours. She smiled when she saw Natalie. “Come in. Have a seat. I’m fairly new here myself. I’ve been waiting for you to start. I’ve got so many plans for this place I want to talk over with you. Then we can work how to proceed.”
Sounds great! Natalie leant forward, nodding.
“This place can become a show-piece as a disabled institution. We need to get some really good programmes running. At the moment, the residents have no direction in their lives. They sit around all day like lizards in the sun. Then, at night, they get drunk and argue with each other. Sometimes the arguments get so heated they ram each other with their electric chairs. These are expensive pieces of equipment but they don’t care.”
Parallel Lives Page 13