“That’s amazing! I’d never have expected anything like that.”
“You’ve got no idea what goes on here. I could pull my hair out at times. Ron’s one of the worst when it comes to drinking. Sometimes he gets so drunk he loses control of his bladder and bowels. Then, he expects staff to clean him up.”
“That doesn’t seem very fair.”
“No, staff members never get a break from residents’ demands. They’re too selfish to think about anyone except themselves. Instead of eating the nutritious meals prepared for them, they order pizzas all hours of the night and discard the scraps for staff to clean up. Many of the carers have been here for years looking after them. They’re like mothers to them but they’re never appreciated.”
Matron continued to pour out her woes as if Natalie were a trusted friend. In two hours she knew more about the intricacies of residents’ lives than she’d ever have imagined.
Matron’s eyes filled with tears. “I really care for these people. If only they could see that.” It was all Natalie could do, to restrain herself from putting her arm around the warm-hearted woman to offer some comfort.
Natalie was leaving the office when Matron called her back. “Close the door.” She spoke in a hushed tone. “You need to know William’s the problem. Watch out for him. He’s the ringleader when there’s any trouble. He’s always picking on the weaker residents, yet they treat him like a god. He’s so arrogant. He wants to take over the running of Crystal Gardens. That’s why he’s stirring up trouble.”
Natalie returned to her office, her head spinning. Yet, she was excited about what lay ahead. Despite some of Matron’s views being a bit weird, she was sure that together, they could do some incredible things for residents. This is the job I’ve been searching for.
Later in the day she wandered back into the residential area, referred to as the solarium. The sun had now set and Natalie was struck by the gloominess of the atmosphere. The residents, with downcast, solemn faces, sat quietly, seemingly unaware of each other. William was there amongst them. He looked her up and down, clearly undressing her with his eyes. When she came within speaking distance he looked away as if he hadn’t noticed her. Natalie walked up to him. “Hello, William.”
He responded with a brief, “G’day.”
Chapter 26
Natalie’s sleep was disturbed that night by fragments of matron’s discourse flashing through her mind. How do I make sense of all this? Crystal Gardens seemed a bizarre place, one of heightened emotion, detached from the rest of the community. Matron’s impassioned pleas had touched something deep inside her. Yet, she’d hardly spoken to the residents. Getting to know them has to be my first priority.
She spent the morning reading through residents’ files, another experience that tugged at her heartstrings. Most of them had been cast out from their families at an early age because of their disabilities. They’d missed out on the love and guidance that most people took for granted. Natalie wanted to reach out to them, to get to know them.
She made her way to the solarium but, each time she approached a resident to initiate conversation, he turned away and wheeled off. What strange behaviour. What’s going on here? I’m only trying to be friendly. Natalie continued in her endeavour, smiling when she caught an eye or enquiring how they were, but they continued to ignore her. It was awkward being left standing there on her own, so she made a habit of strolling about, on one occasion coming across the sleeping quarters, dormitories that reminded her of films of old-fashioned boarding schools. But these people are adults.
One day, she caught sight of two residents in their wheel-chairs, engrossed in conversation. Noelene, a bubbly young lady with olive skin and dark, curly hair, was leaning forward in her manual chair, her arms around Sam, a quiet young man, suffering from Duchenne muscular dystrophy. She glimpsed the look of devotion on Noelene’s face. Though Natalie was pleased to see their happiness, she found it odd to see people in wheel-chairs cuddling. Oh no, my prejudice is as deep-rooted as anyone else’s.
Invariably, she retreated to Matron’s office where she was certain of a warm welcome. At least Matron understood what it was like to be rebuffed by residents. With her, she felt valued and inspired by her plan to enhance their lives by developing creative opportunities, along with voluntary and paid work.
Tension continued to simmer between Chris and her, despite her efforts to make peace, reading him stories and taking him to the park. She even enrolled him in a soccer team, barracking from the sideline each Saturday. Though he was small for his age, he had unbelievable courage, barging through much larger boys, twisting and turning with the ball. His one problem was the volatile Italian coach, who waved his arms in the air, shouting insults at the boys. Chris invariably gave him a mouthful back, putting at risk his position on the team. Despite her efforts, he showed no appreciation or regard for anyone else’s needs. He lapped up everything she gave him as if it were his right.
They were driving home through farmland one weekend when Chris screamed for her to stop. A sign on the fence read, ’Pups free to good homes’. Natalie knew dogs weren’t allowed in their rented premises but followed Chris along the driveway, which crunched under their feet as they made their way along the side of the house. The back, screen door banged and a farmer came out to meet them, a puppy at his heels. “We’ve only got one left. He’s the runt of the litter. I don’t think he’ll come to much.”
Chris picked up the pup. It snuggled into him. “Look, Mum, he loves me.” As Chris fondled him, the pup gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “Can I have him?”
Natalie looked at the owner. “Take him if you want. He’s a cross German Shepherd.”
So that was that. They had a new addition to their little family.
The next day Natalie took the pup to work, hiding it under her desk, where it slept soundly. After morning tea, she took it to the solarium where she was immediately surrounded by residents.
“Can I hold it?” asked Noelene.
Natalie put the pup in her lap where it snuggled up contentedly as she stroked it. After a while Noelene passed it around other residents, finally placing it on the tray of Sam’s electric wheel-chair. He struggled with his body in an attempt to lift his arm to pat the pup. It licked him on the face, making him smile. Finally, Noelene put the pup on the floor where it wandered around sniffing the chairs before squatting and leaving a little puddle. Natalie rushed forward but Noelene barred her way. “Don’t worry. I’ll clean it up and bring the pup to your office later on.”Natalie left, chuckling to herself at the thought of Matron’s reaction if she knew about the wet spot.
Noelene arrived at Natalie’s office a short time later, the pup nestled in her lap. She spoke with animation about the fun they’d had with it. Then a shadow crossed her face. She snuggled into the pup, idly patting it as she spoke. “You probably know I’m one of the few residents who can walk, even if I need crutches. People wonder why I lock myself away here with all these severely disabled people.”
“Really!”
“I can’t cope out there. I tried to walk when I was at school but I couldn’t keep up with the others or play sport. They used to call me names and treat me like a freak. It wasn’t much better at home. I know I made life hard for Mum but she was always putting pressure on to me to walk so I could have a ‘normal’ life. Here at Crystal Gardens, other residents treat me with respect and I can help them with things. I still feel lonely and useless a lot of the time but I can’t face the outside world again. It would be different if I could get a job or do something worthwhile but no one wants to employ a disabled person who dropped out of school. It wasn’t that I was stupid, just that I spent so much time in hospital with operations, I could never keep up with lessons.”
“It sounds like life’s been a real struggle for you.”
“Yes, that’s why I spend so much time with Sam. I know we’ve got no future but at least I can make life a bit more comfortable for him and he’s nice to me
, though most of the time we just sit around with the others feeling bored. It all seems a bit futile really.”
Natalie nodded. “I’m sorry it’s so hard. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Being able to talk helps. It’s what residents want but they don’t trust you. Maybe you need to let them know you’re on our side. We see you talking to Matron a lot and that makes us suspicious. Oh, I’ve said too much. I better go now. Here’s the dog.” She turned and rushed away.
What’s going on?
Natalie arrived at the solarium next morning, determined to connect with residents. Ron, Matron’s so-called ‘drunk’, was her first target. He was an obese, red-haired, young man wearing a tattered T-shirt and short shorts. Suffering from cerebral palsy, he stood out from other residents, sitting listlessly in his manual chair. She knew from his file, it was his obesity that had forced him into the chair. Approaching him, she came straight to the point before he had a chance to escape. “I believe you were seeing the previous social worker. She left a note you might like to talk with me.”
He replied with difficulty, stuttering and struggling for words, while all the time, flapping his hands and head about, focusing his gaze on the ceiling. “Yes, I’ve been wanting to make an appointment with you.”
“Would you like to come to my office now for a chat?”
He nodded and followed her toward her office. At last, I’m making in-roads. To her surprise, on reaching the office, he let forth without further invitation. “I feel so lonely. I know I’m unlovable and useless. I always have been, though I used to walk. It’s so hard for me to talk and people don’t want to bother listening.”
“It’s awful you feel that way.”
“It’s true though. No woman would want a fat, ugly person like me.”
Natalie struggled to understand him as he stumbled over his words, all the time waving his arms and head about. How can I help this poor man? “Is there anything you do enjoy?”
“I like to write poetry. I watch travel programmes on T.V. Then I imagine I’m there and write about what I see and feel.”
“That sounds beautiful.”
“I’ll bring some here to show you if you’re interested?”
“I’d love to see them.”
“The other thing I like to do is get drunk because then I don’t have to think. I forget where I am and go into my own world. I know Matron gets really cross with me when I get drunk so I try not to, but sometimes I can’t help it.”
“Mm, it’s not easy.”
“No. Thanks for listening. I’ll come back another time with some of my poems.” With that, he pushed his great bulk into action and wheeled out of the office.
Chapter 27
The banging and whirring of drills, from the construction site next door, greeted Natalie of a morning as she drew up at work. It was not, however, until Matron called a residents’ meeting to discuss the move to the new units, that Natalie realised they were part of the Crystal Gardens complex.
She entered the meeting room to find the residents already there, in a tight circle in their wheelchairs. Taking a seat, slightly outside the group, she looked around the circle at the twelve men and four women. Excluding William, the group was between sixteen and twenty years of age. Those with muscular dystrophy, in their big electric chairs, towered over the others. Natalie had expected excitement about the impending move, but the group was stony-faced and subdued.
Matron, wearing a bright, floral dress and heavy makeup, marched into the room. She joined Natalie, but despite the presence of a chair, remained standing. There was a jostling of wheelchairs as people moved back to allow everyone a full view of her. Smiling warmly, Matron welcomed everyone. “As you will have realised, the new units are nearing completion. I plan to have regular resident meetings so we can work together to ensure the move goes smoothly.”
Derek, one of the muscular dystrophy men, jumped in with a question. “Will we be able to choose who we live with in the new units?”
“I plan to retain the groups that already exist in the wards, one group of women and three groups of men. Does anyone object to that?”
Stunned silence.
“That’s settled then.”
Noelene leant forward in her chair, glaring at Matron. “I love Sam. I want to be close to him. Couldn’t we please live together in one of the units, Matron?”
Matron glared at Noelene, speaking in a loud whisper that most of the room could hear. “You only think you love him. Disabled people are always falling in and out of love. You need protection from yourselves. You silly woman, you should get out and meet able-bodied men and forget Sam. You know there’s no future in that relationship.”
Natalie gasped, feeling herself start to tremble. Does Matron have no consideration for their feelings? She looked down in embarrassment. I thought she had the genuine interests of the residents at heart. I never expected to hear her talk like that. Natalie recalled their conversations and the way Matron had discredited residents. Why did I never challenge her?
Sam edged his electric chair back and forth, indignation reflected in his face. “It really hurts how I’m written off because I have muscular dystrophy. It’s bad enough being crippled and nearly helpless in a wheel-chair, knowing I don’t have much time left, without being told I’m not entitled to love and care for someone. My feelings are exactly the same as anyone else’s. You know Matron, at times I despise you.”
“Regardless, any desire to cohabit is unable to be met in the Crystal Gardens complex. For those of you who wish to cohabit, all possible assistance will be provided in relocating you to appropriate accommodation in the community.”
Right, like that’s a solution. Sam required twenty-four-hour care, including hoisting and turning in bed at night. That level of care was not available in the community.
Derek piped up. “Will it be all right though to bring a girl-friend to your room?”
“Certainly not! Crystal Gardens is a health facility, not a home. No sexual activity whatsoever will be permitted.”
Now William took up the challenge. “Whose ruling is that, the Health Department’s or Crystal Garden’s?”
“It’s my ruling.”
Derek’s face went red as he tried to control his fury. “It’s not fair we’re not allowed to bring friends home like normal eighteen-year-olds, so we can have a bit of fun. We should have the same rights as anyone else. What’s the point of moving into new units if we can’t have a say in our own lives?”
Ron struggled to speak. “Having no sex life and sharing a room with three men sometimes makes you wonder if you’re homosexual. I got so worried last week I went to the brothel to prove to myself that I am heterosexual. When I returned I requested a shower, but the staff refused. They mocked me, making me ashamed of seeking sexual relief. What alternative do I have? Sexual activity is not allowed on the premises. I don’t have a girl-friend. I think it stinks that we’re not allowed to have sex.”
William nodded. “Everyone’s entitled to a bit of love and affection.”
Matron cut in. “There will be no further discussion on this subject. I’m managing the facility and my decision is final.”
That’s a change from how you started the meeting.
Ron whispered loudly, “She should have been a nun.” Hushed laughter amongst those around him followed.
Natalie’s eyes flicked from the residents to Matron and back. Tension was building. Is there anything I can do anything to relieve the situation?
Derek moved onto a new topic. “I notice each of the units has its own kitchen. Will we be able to plan our own meals?”
“That’s not within the funding guidelines. Meals will continue to be cooked in the main kitchen and brought to the units.”
What is Matron up to? She tells them she wants to co-operate and then negates everything they suggest.
Derek continued. “Sounds like we’d be better off remaining in the old facility then. What’s the point of m
oving to new units if we’re no better off and we don’t take advantage of the facilities available?”
“Yes,” said Ron. “We don’t ever seem to get a say in running our own lives. It makes me cross that staff arrange all our outings without asking us what we want to do. You never get a chance to do what really interests you. Instead, everyone goes together in a big bus like a mob of animals. When we went to the zoo last month, all of us together in wheelchairs were such a sight that other people spent more time gaping at us than at the animals. I asked a few people if they wanted to take a photo.”
Matron frowned. “Perhaps if you behaved like adults, I would be more interested in listening to your opinions. I’m getting sick of all the drunkenness and fighting at Crystal Gardens. It’s so dangerous when you ram each other with your wheelchairs.”
Derek edged forward in his chair, his temper flaring as he raised his voice. “It’s wrong for a wards-man to pull out the control key of an electric chair and immobilise it when someone’s fighting. That’s false imprisonment. People should have the right to solve their arguments their own way.”
William joined in. “People in wheelchairs get pretty resentful at times and they don’t have much else open to them. Immobilising a chair is equivalent to tying up an able-bodied person and that never happens.”
Matron shook her head. “I have a responsibility to prevent injury to clients and damage to wheelchairs. The staff’s behaviour is dictated by the manual on safe practices.”
Matron, aren’t you listening at all. Who cares about the rule-book? They’re hurting. Can’t you hear that?
Matron carried on. “Why do you drink so much anyway?”
Derek answered. “I drink out of frustration. No one understands what it’s like, being trapped in this place with no purpose in life.”
Parallel Lives Page 14