Uncertain Destiny

by Carole Mortimer

  Almost seven weeks of marriage hadn’t seen too many changes in her husband. When they made love they were completely attuned, but the rest of the time Justin chose to hold himself aloof, rarely talking about his work to her, only agreeing to socialise with her family because he knew she expected it of him.

  And now he seemed to think she had conducted some sort of experiment with Tony in between his proposal and their wedding, to see if she and Justin really were so unique in their passion for each other, and that the baby she carried was the result of that experiment. She hadn’t needed to make love with another man to be sure of that!

  The baby she carried was Justin’s, no matter what he believed about his being sterile. My God, why hadn’t he told her he believed he could never give her children? It wouldn’t have changed her decision to marry him, but he should have told her, damn it! What sort of man married a woman without telling her something as important as that? A man like Justin, she acknowledged dully. He didn’t want children; why should he bother to explain that he could never give her any?

  Dear God, where did they go from here? What were they going to ‘decide’ about the baby today?

  She sat up straight against the pillows as a soft knock sounded on the door, and forced a tight smile to her lips as Mrs Avery put her head around the door, before entering with a bright smile as she saw Caroline was awake.

  ‘Mr de Wolfe told me to let you sleep this morning.’ She put a tray of coffee down on the bedside table. ‘But I thought I heard you moving around a few minutes ago.’

  Justin’s ‘unobtrusive’ housekeeper had turned out to be this friendly little woman with warm blue eyes. She had confided in Caroline shortly after she moved in as Justin’s wife that the Mrs part of her name was merely a cursory title, that she had never married but felt it was necessary to be a Mrs in the job she chose to do. Mrs Avery was almost sixty, and Caroline sincerely doubted that Justin would ever feel the inclination to chase her around the apartment, but if the other woman felt happier being thought a married woman then she wasn’t about to spoil that for her. The two of them had become firm friends over the weeks, Mrs Avery treating Caroline just like the daughter she had never had. She had no doubt the housekeeper was going to be thrilled when she was told about the baby. But she dared not tell anyone about that yet, not until she had sorted things out with Justin. He had to be convinced that the baby was his!

  ‘I have to be on duty in just over an hour.’ She accepted the coffee gratefully.

  Justin had been very amenable about her continuing with her career, although she had cut down on her hours slightly, knowing Justin wouldn’t appreciate her working late into the evening or during the night. She couldn’t help wondering now, a little bitterly, if he hadn’t encouraged her to continue with her career because he had known she would never have children to occupy her time. Children of his, that was.

  Bitter reproach on her part wasn’t going to help this situation, she inwardly reproved. She had to try and look at this from Justin’s point of view. For years he had believed himself sterile, had probably come to terms with that fact; of course he was going to find it difficult to believe now that she was carrying his child. Perhaps the hours he had spent alone in bed last night, the first time they had slept apart since their marriage, had given him a chance to think, to realise that a mistake just could have been made.

  Yes, she was sure that by the time he got home this evening he would have realised she could never have made love with any other man but him, that the child had to be his. His decision that he didn’t want children had probably been a defence mechanism because he didn’t believe he could ever have any. By the time he got home this evening they would be able to discuss all this rationally.

  Some of the despair left her as she went to work on that happier note, putting her troubles from her mind as for the rest of the day she concentrated on her patients.

  She was going to miss her work on the wards once she had the baby. Being a nurse had been the only thing she had ever wanted to do, all her educational qualifications gained for just that reason. It had been a wonderful five years, but no doubt the baby would help compensate for what she lost. She wanted this baby so much, wanted to give Justin the son he had thought never to have.

  He wasn’t home when she got in, so she went through to have a soak in the bath before dinner, frowning her puzzlement when she returned to the bedroom an hour later to discover he still wasn’t home.

  He wasn’t usually this late home. Unless—

  She hurried out to the kitchen; Mrs Avery was just in the process of putting the finishing touches to dinner—for one. Whenever Justin was going to be late, or not going to make dinner at all, she had requested that the housekeeper serve her dinner on a tray rather than going to all the trouble to lay the table formally; Justin wasn’t coming home for dinner tonight!

  She moistened her suddenly dry lips as the housekeeper looked up at her curiously. Justin hadn’t called her at work today as he usually did when he was going to be late or miss dinner, but it was obvious that he had let Mrs Avery know of his plans. How to find out what those plans were without making an absolute fool of herself!

  She forced a tight smile to her lips. ‘It’s as well Justin isn’t in for dinner tonight as we have steak pie,’ she remarked lightly.

  Mrs Avery smiled mischievously. ‘Not one of his favourites, is it?’ she acknowledged. ‘But I know how you enjoy it, so as soon as Mr de Wolfe telephoned me this morning to say he would be away for a few days I decided to prepare all your favourite meals to cheer you up. No wonder you were looking a bit peaky this morning when I brought in your coffee. Such a pity he had to go away so soon after you were married. But I—’

  Caroline was no longer listening as the woman chattered on. Justin had gone away for a few days. Was that the decision he had come to during the long night hours they had been apart, separated by the thickness of a wall? Were those ‘few days’ going to turn into a week, and then a month? Did he ever intend coming back?

  CHAPTER THREE

  CAROLINE still felt numb the next day, didn’t know whether Justin expected her to leave during his absence or wait until he returned and told her to go.

  Justin might have married her for all the wrong reasons, but she loved him very much, had hoped the desire he felt for her would eventually turn into love, too. The fact that he had gone away, without even bothering to call and tell her, seemed to say that he could never accept the child she carried as his, that he no longer wanted her because of it.

  But if that were the way he felt, he was going to have to tell her that to her face, was actually going to have to tell her to leave. She didn’t doubt that he was capable of it; she had realised as she lay awake for the second night in a row that she was no closer to him emotionally than she had been six weeks ago. She had come to know him, however, and if he still stubbornly believed her to be carrying another man’s child, Tony’s child, he wouldn’t hesitate to end their marriage. Like someone expecting the axe to fall, she waited.

  The last thing she needed later that morning was a visit from a friend of Justin’s she had never met before and whom he had never mentioned.

  In his mid-thirties, the same as Justin, Don Lindford seemed nice enough, but, with Caroline so worried about her relationship with Justin, he couldn’t have called at a worse time!

  He shook her hand politely. He was a couple of inches under six feet, good-looking in a pleasant sort of way, with his sandy-brown hair brushed neatly to one side, and warm brown eyes.

  ‘I was sorry I missed the wedding,’ he smiled. ‘I was away at the time and couldn’t make it.’

  ‘That’s all right.’ She indicated he should sit down. ‘I’m afraid Justin hasn’t spoken of you,’ she admitted awkwardly as they sat across from each other.

  He chuckled softly. ‘That sounds like old Justin,’ he mused. ‘We go back a long way, but Justin more than lives up to his reputation of being a lone wolf.’

>   ‘Yes,’ she acknowledged dully, wondering if that was what Justin was considering going back to. It was a certainty he didn’t think this ‘cub’ was his!

  ‘I have to admit to being surprised when I heard he had married,’ Don Lindford said ruefully. ‘Although since I’ve met his bride for myself, perhaps it was understandable,’ he added warmly.

  ‘Only perhaps?’ she teased, starting to relax in his company. Justin never had spoken about any of his friends, but she had known he must have made some over the years; this man came as a pleasant surprise. Somehow she had been expecting any friend of Justin’s to be as arrogantly aloof as he usually was.

  ‘Definitely understandable,’ he grinned conspiratorially. ‘Your housekeeper said she isn’t expecting Justin back today?’ He frowned.

  Caroline drew in a ragged breath. ‘No.’

  He pulled a face. ‘He’s taking a chance leaving you alone so soon after the wedding. If it had been me I would have taken you with me on my business trip.’

  She smiled her gratitude at the compliment, giving a rueful grimace. ‘There are some occasions when a wife would just be in the way,’ she excused evasively.

  ‘Hm,’ Don Lindford acknowledged thoughtfully. ‘Oh, well.’ He stood up. ‘I won’t keep you any longer. I just thought I’d drop in and say hello to Justin’s bride once I learnt he wasn’t available. It’s been nice meeting you.’

  ‘Caroline,’ she encouraged, also standing up. ‘Could I offer you a cup of tea or—or anything?’ she said awkwardly.

  ‘No, thanks,’ he refused warmly. ‘If you could just tell Justin I called, and that I’ll be in touch again soon?’

  ‘Of course.’ She walked him to the door. ‘I really am sorry he wasn’t here, I’m sure the two of you have a lot to talk about as you haven’t seen each other for some time.’

  ‘Yes,’ he nodded. ‘Once again, it’s been nice to have met you, Caroline.’

  She closed the door once he had left, turning with a thoughtful smile. She had been beginning to wonder if Justin had any friends after six weeks and not a mention of one; Don Lindford wasn’t half as awesome as she had imagined friends of Justin would be. She would have to get Justin to invite him over for dinner sometime.

  If she was still here. Well, she wasn’t leaving without a fight; of that she was certain.

  It seemed to be her day for unexpected visitors, her sister Sonia calling that afternoon.

  Caroline had spent most of the afternoon pretending an interest in the book she was currently reading, knowing that if she looked too forlorn Mrs Avery would only offer her sympathy, and that was the last thing she needed, feeling particularly tearful today. She was well aware of the fact that her emotionalism was due to her pregnancy, but that didn’t make it any easier to cope with. And the last thing she wanted today of all days was a confrontation with her sister.

  She stood up stiffly as her sister was shown into the room by Mrs Avery.

  Three and a half years her junior, Sonia was nevertheless possessed of a self-confidence that precluded her feeling uncomfortable no matter what the circumstances. And despite the awkwardness between the two sisters the last month, Sonia crossed the lounge to kiss Caroline warmly on the cheek.

  ‘I called the hospital and they told me it was one of your days off,’ Sonia explained dismissively. ‘You’re looking very beautiful,’ she complimented easily. ‘Married life is just wonderful, isn’t it?’ Her own eyes sparkled with happiness as she sat down without being invited to do so, a tall, blue-eyed blonde who moved with all the natural grace and beauty that had made her such a highly successful model the last two years.

  No one looking at the two of them would ever believe they were related, but then that wasn’t surprising; Caroline was an adopted child who had been almost four when her ‘mother’ suddenly produced twins, a boy and a girl. No one could have been more surprised than her parents at this startling event, having been told years earlier they would never have children of their own. But the appearance of Simon and Sonia had proved them wrong, and with Sonia and Simon’s charming effervescence it was impossible not to love them.

  It seemed ironic that what had happened to Caroline’s parents twenty years ago was now happening to her and Justin—only, unlike them, Justin refused to believe a miracle had happened.

  Caroline gave a grimace at the way her sister attacked the awkwardness between them with her usual bluntness. ‘How is Tony?’ she asked drily.

  ‘Doing very well considering I’m not the world’s best housewife.’ Sonia gave a grin as Caroline smiled acknowledgement of her lack of talent in the home. ‘I would have fared much better married to someone rich like your Justin.’ She shrugged light-heartedly. ‘But even if I do say so myself I’m doing OK as a doctor’s wife.’

  It had come as a shock when, two weeks after her own wedding to Justin, Sonia and Tony had gone off together and quietly got married. Sonia had admitted later to being attracted to Tony from the first, although not for anything would she have poached on Caroline’s boyfriend. But as soon as Caroline had shown that she was in love with Justin, Sonia had felt free to pursue Tony, and she had chased him mercilessly once she knew Caroline no longer wanted him. From the haste with which he had married her sister he hadn’t needed much chasing! After all the bitterness he had shown towards Caroline in the weeks before they had broken up, she couldn’t help feeling resentful towards him for the abrupt way his affections had changed.

  It hadn’t been an easy situation the last month, with Tony still obviously angry about the way she had married Justin so suddenly, and Caroline slightly disgusted with the haste in which he had married Sonia, so the two couples had been avoiding each other. It had been a very awkward situation for their parents, doubly so as they had always been a close family before this. From the determined glint in Sonia’s eyes she had come here to try and make it like that again.

  But it wasn’t Caroline she should be speaking to. Tony being the one to do most of the avoiding, still very angry about a love that she hadn’t been able to do anything about.

  Perhaps she had been a little angry with Sonia, too, for the way in which she had run after Tony, but considering the state of her marriage to Justin that anger now seemed petty and unimportant. What did it matter that Sonia had married Tony when she could be about to lose Justin?

  ‘I’m glad.’ She gave a strained smile.

  Sonia gave her a considering look. ‘Are you? I got the impression a month ago that you would be pleased to see me fall flat on my face.’

  Caroline frowned at this uncharacteristic attack by her sunny-natured sister.

  ‘Forget I said that,’ Sonia dismissed self-disgustedly. ‘I can’t believe I did say that.’ She grimaced, her lovely face smooth and creamy. ‘I came here to invite you and Justin over to dinner tomorrow night.’ She arched questioning brows.

  Caroline was still frowning over her sister’s accusation. There had always been rivalry between the two of them, but she had always thought that was natural between two sisters. She certainly hadn’t wished for the downfall of Sonia’s marriage to Tony, no matter how stunned she had been by it at the time.

  ‘Caroline?’ Sonia prompted at her silence, uncertainty clouding the usually laughing blue eyes.

  She focused on her sister with effort. ‘What does Tony say about that?’

  ‘It was his idea,’ Sonia announced happily. ‘I think I must have passed the wife-test and so he’s now ready to forget all the—unpleasantness of the past.’

  ‘Sonia, are you really happy with Tony?’ she probed worriedly.

  ‘Oh, yes,’ her sister answered without hesitation. ‘Of course, he was still in love with you when we got married—he was, Caroline,’ she insisted at her pained gasp. ‘But all that’s changed now,’ she said confidently. ‘I wouldn’t be making this invitation if it hadn’t,’ she admitted bluntly.

  Sonia had to be wrong about Tony’s feelings a month ago. Oh, he had been angry about her decision to
marry Justin, had accused her of wanting the other man for his wealth, had hauled any number of other bitter assaults on her during their last conversation, most of them concerning Justin’s feelings for her. He certainly hadn’t been in love with her then, if he ever had been; only his pride had been hurt.

  ‘Do say you’ll come, Caroline,’ Sonia prompted at her silence. ‘Mummy and Daddy would be so pleased if we all patched up our differences.’

  Caroline’s expression softened as she thought of the two people she had always known as her parents, knowing they had continued to love her as their own even after Sonia and Simon were born. The mend in the rift between their two daughters would please them, she knew. But she was still troubled by what Sonia had said about Tony’s feelings for her.

  ‘Sonia, you’re wrong about Tony and me,’ she frowned. ‘We had already finished before Justin and I went out together.’

  Her sister nodded. ‘Tony told me all about that. For a while he was convinved that if he hadn’t lost his temper over what he thought was going on between you and Justin, you would never have gone out with him and then married him. But that isn’t true, is it?’ Sonia shrugged.

  No, it wasn’t true. Eventually, she knew she would have gone to Justin anyway, without Tony finishing with her. Looking back on that time now, she was surprised she had managed to hold out the three weeks that she had!

  ‘Tony realises that now?’ she said anxiously.

  ‘I think his pride was hurt more than anything,’ her sister nodded. ‘But he wants to make amends now, told me to invite you and Justin over for dinner.’

  Her mouth twisted. ‘Sure he doesn’t just want to gloat about the success he’s made of his marriage?’

  ‘Maybe a little,’ Sonia conceded, mischief lighting her eyes. ‘But as you and Justin are so happy together, too, it doesn’t really matter, does it?’