Beary Sexy: A BBW Werebear Boxed Set

by Bolryder, Terry

  But the longer she thought about it, the more the excitement in his gaze seemed to fade. Then he sat back against the headboard.

  “Never mind,” he said, folding his arms. “It was a bad idea.”

  “No,” she said. “It wasn’t. I just…I don’t know if I’m ready. I hadn’t thought…”

  He eyed her impatiently, waiting for her to make up her mind. She wasn’t even worried about the snowboarding anymore. She was more worried that spending that much time with him was just going to result in falling in love with him all over again, when she knew she couldn’t have him. Even now, he was only offering to help out of pity.

  But it was pulling him out of his shell. It was probably the first time he’d mentioned leaving the house. Sometimes helping someone else was exactly what you needed in order to move on from your own suffering. And she wanted to give him that.

  So she nodded.

  His grin spread, so bright she almost felt she had to shield her gaze against it. Like the sun. “Great, we’ll start tomorrow.”

  She nodded, smiled, and swallowed nervously. She hoped learning to snowboard was hard enough to distract her from spending hours a day with this devastatingly handsome, perfect man.

  She doubted it.

  * * *

  She was wrong. Snowboarding was agony.

  But at least Ryan seemed happy. He had his hands on his hips and was surveying the mountainside as she tried to crawl toward him from where she’d fallen getting off the lift. No matter how much he told the lift operator to slow the approach, she couldn’t seem to balance on the board with one foot buckled in and one foot out. He, on the other hand, skated gracefully down the hill as if it was second nature.

  “Don’t worry,” he’d told her. “Some people do this for years and still fall getting off the lift. It’s way easier on skis. But you’ll get it. I’ll stick with you until you do.”

  He was a natural teacher. At least, he would be when he stopped letting her crawl around and helped her up. As if he heard her slightly bitter thoughts, he skated over to her and sat down next to her to do up her bindings. She looked down over the bunny hill, which probably looked easy to him but looked like frozen death to her.

  “Okay,” he said. “Another run.”

  “Do I have to?” she asked sulkily, staring at her bindings. They’d been going for hours, and she wondered if everyone did this for hours on their first day. Or maybe she was just being a weenie. Maybe she was more out of shape than she’d thought. He’d worked with some snowboarding contacts to help her order boots and a special prosthesis, and he’d been as excited as a little kid when it had come in.

  “Yes,” he said, teasing her with another dimpled grin. “But you can do it. You’re tough.”

  “Humph,” she said.

  “It was hard at first for me, too. Snowboarding has a harsh learning curve.”

  “Sure,” she said.

  “But it’s been half a day. Let’s get you linking turns.”

  “I keep falling,” she said.

  “Because you’re not looking where you’re going. When you look, you turn your body with you.”

  “Right,” she said. “Says the guy that seems to naturally float.”

  “Pros are supposed to make things look easy,” he said. “That’s why they’re pros.”

  She muttered something under her breath and he laughed, though he couldn’t possibly have heard her.

  “All right grumpy, let me know when you’re ready to go. I could stay up here all day.”

  “Right,” she said, knowing he absolutely meant it. She was starting to realize how little she knew him, since she’d only known the Ryan that existed off of the mountain, not the one on it. And this was a huge part of who he was. He was so happy here.

  She couldn’t help feeling happy too. She loved being in the outdoors and trying something new. Especially with a beautiful man. She’d been holding back with men for a long time. Maybe she’d known Ryan was sort of unavailable, and that had played a part in her going after him.

  No, it was that hot face and body, that cocky grin when he pulled off a trick, and that possessive gaze he gave her sometimes when he thought she wasn’t looking. There was definitely something between them, though he’d always denied it, and now that he was focused on helping her, touching her often to help with drills, she was surer than ever.

  That chemistry between them, he had to feel it too.

  She shivered as he leaned over her to do the bindings on the other side. He was so broad, so wide through the shoulders, that he felt like he completely sheltered her from behind. She missed his warmth when he pulled back and closed his eyes and tilted his face to feel the sunlight streaming from the cold, blue sky above.

  “A perfect day,” he said. He looked at her. “A perfect partner.”

  She blinked, trying not to let her mouth fall open at that unexpected exclamation. He leaned in before she could stop him, and she felt his breath, knew he was close even as she looked straight ahead, wondering what he was going to do. He placed a soft kiss on her cheek and she let out a little gasp of shock. His lips were warm and sent fire shooting right through her, all the way to her toes.

  “Thanks for getting me out here,” he whispered against her ear, as she stayed bolt straight. “It means a lot to have you.”

  She looked at him, wondering what that meant. “Huh?”

  He pushed to a standing position and then pulled her up, helping her get into a balanced position. “You know, as a friend. It’s good to have someone I can relate to.” Then he let her go and started down the mountain. And the scamp had pointed her so that she was headed that way too.

  She didn’t know which made her madder. That he’d tricked her into starting the run with him, or that he’d ruined a perfectly good moment by saying the word “friends”.

  She watched his back sway as he gently carved down the front of the hill and stopped, spraying snow in an arc as he pushed the board out behind him and balanced on it, facing her with folded arms.

  “Your turn,” he called, as she slowly made her first turn. She jumped at his voice and face planted for a millionth time that day, and cursed him for his teasing and the way her legs were still shaking, either from exhaustion or from that unexpected kiss. The only physicality that had happened between them.

  Had she ever even been kissed by a man in that way?

  She touched her cheek but could hear him yelling at her to go again. She stood with a grim focus. Damn, she would become the best snowboarder in the world if it meant shutting him up. For a moment he’d been the helpless one, the one who needed someone, but now he was back in control. A coach, an athlete, a taskmaster.

  A friend.

  A friend who kissed her on the cheek and made her body heat to a thousand degrees. She stood and pointed her board determinedly down the hill, headed straight for him. Saw admiration in his eyes as she coasted on one edge and then bravely pressed down on her heels and turned to the other. When she pressed down on her toes and completed another turn, she yelped with shock and met his eyes, which were coming close. Too close.

  She fell forward but he caught her in strong arms, and they went to the ground together, clashing in a pile of boards and snow clothing.

  When they recovered, he was holding her atop him, ignoring the weight of her light board over his legs. He looked up into her eyes with a gaze that was impossibly blue. So vivid, reflecting the bright winter sky.

  Heat burned between them, and she could see the excitement in his eyes for her achievement of linking three turns. Or was it a different kind of excitement? His hands were under her armpits, holding her like she weighed nothing. He sat up and set her in front of him. He let out a pent up breath and she continued to look into his eyes.

  This was about more than snowboarding. He knew who she really was, and she was finally seeing him in the same way. And this was the first thing they’d overcome together, and the moment, combined with their attraction, just felt l
ike too much.

  “Ryan,” she said. “Thanks for teaching me. I really appreciate—”

  But she didn’t get to finish. Because there, under a frozen sunny sky, Ryan gave Kylie her first real kiss.

  Chapter 4

  Her kiss was warm, warmer than the sunshine lighting the snow all around them with a blinding glare. Ryan pulled back to look into her face, slightly wind burned from the cold. Her lips were red and softly swollen, and he couldn’t resist leaning in to take them again.

  He had no right. He knew that. He wasn’t planning on taking her for a mate, even though she’d shown him just how strong she was in what she had overcome. Even though she’d come into his lonely darkness and pulled him out into the sun again. What they had was friendship, even a strong attraction, but nothing more.

  So why did kissing her feel like coming home? Why did it feel like they belonged on this mountain together? Why did he have the urge to sweep her up in his arms and run off with her to his private cabin at the side of the mountain?

  He didn’t know, he just knew that the longer her soft, warm mouth stayed locked with his, the more nonsensical his thoughts became.

  Mate, his inner bear said. Mate. Mine.

  His tongue played at the entrance to her mouth and she sighed and then opened innocently for him. She was inexperienced, but the way her hands clasped around him and her body pressed against him more than made up for it. Ryan, despite not being a player, had plenty of sexual experience. Especially when he’d been younger and a little less mature. But then he’d gotten really focused on snowboarding and his career and had decided women were a distraction he didn’t need.

  He didn’t think about it again until he came back to Bearstone Park and saw his father’s note in the will about finding mates there. Just a suggestion, but it made Ryan realize how much he’d like exactly that. How old the tours were getting, how similar the runs were feeling, how much the roar of the crowd was starting to become commonplace and a little empty.

  But that was just one part of him. The other longed to be up on the podium, celebrating another win. He supposed there would always be two parts of him, and that’s why it wasn’t fair to Kylie that he was kissing her now, leading her on. A part of him would always want a bear for a mate. A fellow athlete. Not a regular human woman, no matter how warm and strong and awesome and thoughtful she was.

  But his body, dang his body responded to her. He deepened the kiss and pressed her even closer to him as he felt her knees tremble. Snowboarding was hard work, and he’d pushed her hard, especially for a first day. But he didn’t want her to think he’d treat her any differently. She’d been tenacious and talented and he’d pushed her harder than anyone else he’d taught.

  He was reaping the benefits now. He couldn’t believe she was in his arms, eagerly returning his kisses, meeting each thrust of his tongue with one of her own. The warm heat and friction felt better than almost anything on earth. Anything except dropping into a super pipe.

  But it was a similar rush, and he found that no matter how he held her, he couldn’t get close enough. Couldn’t take enough, couldn’t give enough in these stuffy snow clothes. He wanted her, all of her, naked and splayed before him, and it couldn’t happen soon enough. He pulled back and looked down at her dazed face.

  Damn, she was beautiful. A few strands of hair had pulled free from under her helmet and blew in the cold wind. Her eyes were wide and softly dazed from the kiss. Her mouth was slightly open in shock.

  She’d never looked more beautiful to him, and he knew he needed to get space. Needed to back up before he did something that hurt them both. Despite her fun playfulness, he knew she was the type of woman that played for keeps. At least she seemed that way. He wouldn’t take what he wanted in the short term knowing it would hurt her in the long run.

  He set her back over her snowboard and helped her stand on shaky legs. He kept his arms on hers until she was steady. Her expression calmed and she brushed blond hair off of her face.

  “Why did you stop?” she asked, annoyed.

  He chuckled, trying to hide that he felt just as frustrated as she did by the cessation of what they were doing. But he’d had control of it, she hadn’t. “I didn’t think it was a good idea.”

  A dark expression crossed over her features, a quick crossing of light clouds over sunlight, and then she was sunny again. “Oh. I guess you’re right.” She looked down the mountain and wobbled slightly, and he put arms up to catch her and steady her again. She pushed away from him.

  “You okay?” he asked, as she scooted toward the next downward slope.

  “Yup,” she said. “I’m a big girl. I can learn on my own, what I should and shouldn’t do.”

  His brow wrinkled. He wasn’t exactly sure if there was any kind of double meaning hidden in that statement, but he wasn’t about to look into it. Not when she’d already decided to let him off the hook. “Okay.”

  He watched her head down the mountain, linking a few turns on the shallow slope and falling occasionally. Each time, she pushed herself back up. Just like she’d walked into his cabin and told him to pick himself up. Just like she’d picked herself up after he’d rejected her when he left Bearstone Park, or when he’d ended their searing kiss.

  He had a feeling that at the end of this, if anyone had trouble picking themselves up, it would probably be him. Kylie seemed as indestructible as snow. You could melt it, you could evaporate it, but it would always change, always be something.

  He wished he could be that fluid.

  * * *

  They took a day off for Kylie to deal with the muscle soreness from the first day. When they met up again, she brought pastries from the lodge to share at the cabin at the top of the lift while discussing future plans.

  Ryan bit into a bear claw, hiding a smile at the irony in it, and looked shyly over at the woman who’d brought it.

  She gave him a happy smile, but he could sense something was wrong under the beaming.

  “What’s up?” he asked. “You still want to do this? You don’t have to.” He tried not to sound self-conscious about it. Honestly, her letting him help her learn snowboarding was totally sustaining him right now. He didn’t know what he’d do if he didn’t have that as his purpose. Snowboarding had been his whole life.

  “I’m just a little worried about the whole arrangement,” she said. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to be learning, and I couldn’t have a better teacher…”

  “My head is fine,” he said. “I couldn’t even find a way to fall hard on these bunny hills we’re doing.”

  She eyed him tentatively, as if skirting around a topic she wanted to approach carefully. “That’s not exactly what I’m worried about.”

  His heart sunk. “Wait, is this about the kiss?” He didn’t know why it should hurt that it was bothering her. After all, he knew just as well that it shouldn’t have happened. But for some reason, having her regret it when she’d been pursuing him almost since he first set foot in Bearstone Park kind of bothered him.

  She looked away as she unwrapped a homemade rice crispy treat. “I just think we should keep things clear, so no one gets hurt at the end.”

  He eyed her narrowly. Why did she suddenly care about boundaries now? This was a woman who’d gotten drunk at his brother’s wedding and tried to corner and kiss him in a broom closet after.

  This was a woman who’d asked him out countless times, who’d taunted and teased. And now she was reluctant about a simple, spontaneous kiss that neither of them had been able to resist.

  So, what was it? Was it that now that he wasn’t a top snowboarder, he wasn’t as attractive to her? Was she only into the Ryan Hart that the world watched and adored? Was he less to her now? His heart felt coiled and twisted at the thought, and he scolded himself for feeling that way. Especially since he’d always been the one saying no.

  “Look, when you left… When you went back to wherever, I got the message. I know you aren’t interested in me. I know t
hat I made a fool out of myself chasing you. Who knows, maybe part of what I liked so much was the way you played hard to get?”

  She shrugged and licked a bit of marshmallow off one of her fingers. He wanted to do that. “But anyway, don’t lead me on. Don’t kiss me when we both know you’ll walk away again when you’re better. I’m not good enough for you. I get it.” She didn’t meet his eyes, just sat on the bench in front of the table and continued to eat.

  “It’s not that,” he said, feeling pained at the rejection she’d felt from him. She hadn’t deserved that. Perhaps because she’d always put herself out there, always been so fearless, he’d assumed she was a little invincible. “It’s not that you’re not good enough. You’re amazing, Kylie. You’d be good for anyone.”

  “Just not you,” she said bitterly.

  “I just don’t think it’s a good match,” he said carefully, hoping this didn’t screw everything up. Why hadn’t he been able to resist kissing her the other day? Such a bad idea. Now he could lose the only thing that was currently keeping him going. But was she right? Would he be able to just walk away after this was all over? He hated thinking about the future when things were so uncertain, but he guessed that yes, he’d walked away once, so it would be fair to assume he’d do it again.

  He couldn’t change that he had certain expectations.

  “It’s okay if you’re going to walk away,” she said. “I lived and I’ll live again. You’re hot, Ry, but you aren’t everything.” She gave him a small smile and finished off her snack before standing and stretching.

  Damn, why was she even hot when she was basically telling him to go to hell?

  “So, I thought I’d have a goal while we’re working together. I figure, if I can learn to snowboard, why not go all the way? I think I’d like to be a teacher. Can I learn that in one season?”