by Carter Ashby
Still no words. How much trouble was he in?
"I did tell you I couldn't handle her, didn't I?" She turned around, finally. Her smirk vanished as she stood. "What's wrong?" Her eyes landed on the panties. She laughed. "Get a visit from the shrew?"
Grey hooked a finger in the leg of the panties and dropped them in the trash. "Gwen tried to seduce me. Dr. Markham walked in and thought the worst. Now she's gone to the dean."
Addison went pale. "Oh, my God."
"What am I gonna do?" he asked.
Addy took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Just go to the dean and tell the truth. Right now."
"About you and me?"
"God, no! What are you thinking? Go tell what Gwen did. I'll back you up, the girl's a complete skank."
"Maybe this is karma." Grey was feeling a guilt so deep it threatened to swallow him.
"Karma? You don't believe in God, you don't believe in love…but you believe in Karma?"
"I believe in just desserts. Maybe I'm being punished for taking you away last week."
"That's ridiculous. Go to the dean and tell her what Gwen did. Keep it among you, Markham and Gwen…don't let this go bigger than that. You can do it, Grey."
He fed off her strength. He nodded and drew himself up. "You're right. This isn't a wildfire. I can handle this."
"Good. Go on."
He grabbed Gwen's paper and made his way to Dean Erika Richter's office. Dr. Markham was already there. Grey didn't wait, but barged in and took the seat next to Ellen. "Gwen wanted an A on her paper. She's been balking all semester, insisting that I grade her work myself, rather than allowing my assistant to do it—"
"Is this the same assistant that you're having an affair with?" Erika asked.
Grey's jaw dropped. "I..I beg your pardon?"
"I've had a call from her mother asking me to look into the possibility of the two of you having an affair."
"Based on what?" Grey asked, his voice cracking. "For God's sake, Erika, I've adhered to propriety almost above reason. I don't call female students by their first names. I keep my office door open all the time."
"Not today, you didn't," Dr. Markham muttered.
"Gwen closed that door because she intended to seduce me. I have had students come on to me before, but she just got out of hand faster than I could manage the situation."
"Her panties were hanging on your lamp."
"She hung her goddamn panties on my lamp!" He squeezed his eyes shut in an effort to calm himself. Then he looked at the dean. "Erika, this isn't fair. Anyone could accuse me of anything they wanted, and I'm guilty until proven innocent. I beg you to recognize my flawless record, my character as you know it, and dismiss these accusations."
"Gwen is claiming that you harassed her."
Grey's heart sank but he held his head up. "Of course she is. But I didn't. She harassed me. It's her word against mine, Erika, I mean what do you want me to say?"
Erika leaned back and massaged her temples. "Ellen, what exactly did you see?"
"She was on his desk with her skirt up and her blouse open, her panties hanging on his lamp."
"Where was he?"
Dr. Markham hesitated before grudgingly answering. "He was standing behind a chair, the chair between him and her."
"And what was he doing?"
"Nothing, that I could see. He was froze to the spot when I walked in."
Erika nodded. "Thank you. If you'll excuse us?"
Ellen stood and left the office. Erika waited until the door clicked shut. "You've never brought drama into my life, Grey."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"Is there anything going on between you and Addison?" This question, asked from one friend to another, was harder to lie to. He wasn't sure whether to tell some of the truth or none of the truth. His hesitation made the decision for him. "I see," Erika said.
"No," he said, "you don't. Nothing's going on. I…I think very highly of her."
"Are you attracted to her?"
Again he hesitated. "Yeah, okay? I'm attracted to her, but I have been for years, and I've kept things professional in spite of it."
"Is she attracted to you?"
"I really wouldn't know. I don't allow our conversations to veer into personal territory." The lie flowed smoothly from his lips, but it left its impression on his conscience.
"That's wise." She nudged her pen from side to side on her desk. "Of course you're not going to be penalized for having feelings. But her mother called me this morning. She said your phones got switched?"
"Addison must have set her phone on my desk, and when she left, she grabbed mine instead. Simple as that."
Grey waited for Erika to digest the information.
"How's Addison's thesis coming?" she asked.
"It's complete. She's editing, but it looks fantastic."
"I want you to get a second opinion on that before she goes to the board to defend it, okay?"
"I've always been hard on Addison, always pushed her to do better. I promise you, my feelings haven't—"
"Just do it," Erika said. "For my peace of mind."
Grey kept quiet and nodded once in acquiescence.
"As to everything else, I have to meet with Gwen. Hopefully we can stamp this out before it becomes an issue. But if she chooses to bring her parents into it, we'll have to launch an investigation."
"It would be a waste of time and resources."
"I agree. I'll do my best to dissuade her from taking further action."
"Thank you, Erika. I'm really sorry for all of this."
"Doesn't sound like it's your fault. Just keep your head down and try to avoid further drama."
"Will do."
He made his way back to his office. It was an effort to keep his eyes up. He wanted to lower them and crawl into the shadows.
The love affair with Addison had occurred in the light of day. Their lovemaking had been intense and passionate, but also pure and righteous. They'd played like children together and taken each other with virginal fascination and joy.
Now it seemed as though Fate was determined to cast an oily pall over the whole experience. Try as he might, Grey couldn't keep the memory safe from the taint of guilt and shame. He didn't want to regret taking her, but how could he not?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
"But we always have lunch together on Tuesdays."
Addison dug her palms into her eyes. She sat at her desk with her back to the man she couldn't have but wanted so badly. They'd only been home two days, yet it felt like an eternity. The worst part was his behaving as though she hadn't declared her love for him and told him that he'd broken her heart. He just went on expecting her to act like nothing had happened.
"I don't want to, that's all," she said. They were speaking in hushed tones.
"I just think if we veer from our usual routine, it's going to draw attention. I mean, after the Gwen thing yesterday—"
"Nobody's going to notice us not having lunch together."
"Well, I do need to talk to you about your thesis. We always talk about your thesis on Tuesdays."
"Jesus, Grey, can't I have a week? Just a fucking week to myself?"
She felt his hand on her shoulder and quickly shrugged it off. What was he thinking, touching her like that? He gave her hair a gentle stroke and said, "Honey, I know you're hurting—"
"Oh, God!" she shouted, slamming her laptop shut. She shoved it into her bag. "Fine. Let's go have lunch if it will make you shut the hell up." She marched out of the office in the direction of the cafeteria where, yes, they always had lunch together on Tuesdays. She had her lunch in a paper sack in her computer bag the same as every day, but Grey always ate in the cafeteria.
She didn't look to see if he was behind her. By the time he reached her side, she was composed and walking at a normal pace. He held doors open for her as always. They kept a respectful physical distance, but were otherwise very casual as usual. She went to a table by the windows and pulled her lun
ch from her bag while he went in line to get his grilled chicken salad.
She was two bites into her sandwich when he took a seat opposite her and handed her a container of milk. As usual.
"Erika thinks Gwen's going to back off," he said without prelude.
"Oh?" Addy answered. She washed a bite of sandwich down with some milk.
"Yes. She explained to Gwen that if there really was nothing to her story, then the whole investigation would only waste everyone's time and resources."
"Hopefully the bitch sees sense."
"You know, your language has gone downhill the past couple of days."
"I'm in a fairly shitty mood, if you can't tell."
"I can tell, honey—"
"Stop…" She hesitated and lowered her voice. "Stop with the terms of endearment, okay?"
He swallowed, his smile fading. "Yeah. I'm sorry."
"You said you wanted to talk about my thesis."
He cleared his throat and put on his professional face. "Yes, I do. The dean would like you to have another set of eyes on it before you defend it. I sent a copy to Dr. Markham—"
"The bitch who tried to get you in trouble yesterday?"
"Hey. Be respectful."
Her mouth dropped open, and her face flushed. Had he just reprimanded her? And did it just turn her on? "Um…sorry, Dr. McDaniel. I will try not to disrespect your colleagues, no matter how abhorrently they behave."
"I could do without the attitude, too. I'm trying to help you."
"If you don't like my attitude, then here's an idea…let's not have lunch together anymore."
"You're acting like a child."
"You're acting like an ass. Can we get back to my thesis?"
They were both flushed and angry. Addy wasn't sure why that made her want to rip his clothes off, but it did. Judging from the way his eyes kept roaming to her chest, she thought he must feel the same way.
He cleared his throat and glanced around. "Your thesis is fine. But after yesterday, the dean wanted to have someone else look it over. It'll protect you in case my name gets dragged through the mud. Dr. Markham will be hard on you, but she'll be fair. And since she hates my guts, that will give you more credibility. This is a good thing, trust me."
"But what if she finds something she wants changed?"
"Then change it."
Addy huffed and began unwrapping the other half of your sandwich. "I'm sure it's perfect as is. I'm concerned she'll ask for changes out of spite."
"If it's perfect, she'll say so."
Addy gave him a look. She doubted his faith in the good Dr. Markham.
She bit into her sandwich.
"Can I ask you something?" he asked.
She shrugged.
"How come you eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and potato chips for lunch every day?"
She laughed. "That's a weird question."
"I've wondered it for so long. It's a part of the mystery that is Addison Hart. But I can't take it any longer, and I want to know."
She shrugged again. "Gosh, I don't know. I like it. Reminds me of my childhood."
"I didn't think you had a very peanut-butterish childhood."
"We had a cook who always sent me these well-balanced lunches. But Zoey had PB & J and potato chips every day, so sometimes, if I had something she wanted, she'd trade me. Now I can eat whatever the hell I want, and this just happens to be what I want every day."
"I've never tasted peanut butter."
"Never?"
He shook his head.
"Not even peanut butter candy? Reese's? Nutter Butters?"
"Nope. I didn't get candy, and I don't know what the hell a Nutter Butter is."
"Oh, Dr. McDaniel. And I thought my life was sheltered. You'll have to add this to your list of childhood experiences you never got to have."
"You could share with me now, and I wouldn't have to."
"I'm not sharing my lunch with you in public. That sort of thing is only acceptable in grade school or between married people." She took another bite and then had a chip.
"Why the chips?" he asked, studying her. "It seems an odd combination."
"Well, the peanut butter is sweet. So you alternate, salty, sweet, salty, sweet."
He laughed and shook his head. "Addison, you are adorable."
She narrowed her eyes at him before finishing her lunch. They walked back to his office, their heads down, not looking at one another. He sat on the edge of his desk. She felt him watching her as she settled behind her little desk.
"I got an email this morning," he said.
Addy didn't turn around or respond. If he had more to say, he'd say it.
"From an old colleague. There's a short-term job opportunity with the Peace Corps. Just training new recruits, basically. It's only for three months this summer, which would be perfect."
Addy felt herself go cold. Three months away from him—why should it bother her? He wasn't hers. He'd never be hers. "Sounds perfect," she replied.
"Addison."
She bolstered her nerves before turning to face him.
There was a furrow in his brow. "It got me to thinking about volunteering again. Getting back out there."
Volunteering meant a lot longer than three months. She felt sick. "I…I didn't know you could do that at your age."
The corner of his lip twitched. "Yes, we senior citizens can volunteer, too. Age doesn't matter."
She almost smiled. Almost. "I think if it's something you wanted to do—"
"Have you ever considered it? Seriously?"
"I think my parents would fall over dead."
"They're not the ones living your life, are they? You can't stay in the comfortable cocoon of academia forever. Eventually you've gotta get out there and do something."
She swallowed. "I'd thought about going, once," she said. "You inspired me, that first class I took with you, telling us all about it. But I was selfish and didn't want to leave…." She stopped abruptly.
"Because of me," he murmured.
Tears stung her eyes as she nodded. "I've been so foolish."
"Oh, Addison," he breathed. Before she could think to stop him, he leaned down and kissed her, taking her lips with his own, gently holding her chin in his fingers. In that moment, she didn't care that they were in his office or that anyone could walk in at any moment. She threaded her fingers in his hair and pulled him deeper, thrilling at his tongue penetrating her lips. She stood so that they could hold each other. His arms went around her, his hands pulling her hard against him.
And then abruptly, he was pushing her away. He stepped back, breathing hard. He put a hand to his chest. "Wow, Addison. Your lips…they…" Now he seemed to be struggling to control his breathing. "So intense," he muttered. His next breath didn't go in so easily, and Addy suddenly went cold again.
"Grey?"
His hands were at his throat. "Can't…can't…breathe." He stumbled back against his desk.
"Oh, my God, Grey, what's going on?" She went to him. His hands scrabbled at her arms. He was gasping hard, not able to get enough air in. He fell to his knees.
Addy reached across his desk for the phone and dialed 911.
"What's your emergency."
"My friend is having trouble breathing. It happened all of a sudden. I need an ambulance fast." She told the infuriatingly calm lady on the other end of the line her location. Grey collapsed, his body convulsing. He was no longer conscious.
Addy dropped the phone and screamed for help. Several people hovered outside the door as Addy sobbed helplessly over Grey. She removed his tie and unfastened the top buttons of his shirt. "Oh, God, Grey, please stay with me," she sobbed.
Dr. Markham, whose office was just next door, came in and knelt on the other side of him. "Is he choking?" she asked.
"No, no. We were just talking and…and…" Well, there was nothing else to say, really. She felt at his throat and chest as though a solution might magically appear. Grey's lips were turning blue. "Oh,
God, I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry!"
"Hey. Tell me what happened?" A male voice belonging to the pair of hands that were suddenly checking Grey's airways.
She didn't know who this guy was, but he was calm and seemed to know what he was doing. He dug around in his backpack for something. "We were just talking, and he collapsed—"
"He didn't eat anything? Drink anything? Take any medication?"
"No! No, we were just…" She looked up at the young man who was kneeling next to Dr. Markham. Shit, what was she gonna do? She took a breath. "I kissed him." She glanced at Dr. Markham, who's eyes suddenly narrowed. "I was kissing him, and suddenly he couldn't breathe."
"Have you eaten recently?" The guy asked, now unwrapping a pen of some sort.
"I had peanut butter and jelly just a few minutes ago."
The guy jabbed the orange part of the pen into Grey's thigh and held it there for about ten seconds. Addy froze, terrified. "What are you doing?"
"Taking a chance," the guy said. "I'm not a medic, but this looked like anaphylactic shock to me. I've got some severe allergies. Sounded like what I've gone through. We'll wait and see. Why don't you find a way to get his legs elevated," he said.
Addy immediately moved into action, anything she could do to help. She lifted his legs onto her lap. When she looked at his face, she saw his lips returning to a more normal color, though his skin was terribly pale and clammy. The best part was, his chest rose and fell. He was breathing.
Addy nearly sobbed with relief. The paramedics came a moment later, lifting the unconscious Grey onto a gurney. "Can I ride with him?" Addy asked.
"Yes, ma'am. If you hurry." They were already wheeling him out of the building. Addy ran to keep up.
She sat next to Grey and held his hand. They got to the hospital, and she followed him into a room where they attached an IV to him. A nurse approached her, while another nurse was calmly taking Grey's vitals. She asked Addison for all the basic information. Addison was surprised to realize that she didn't know his birthday.
"July twentieth," a voice said.
Addison turned to see a regal, middle-aged woman walk in the door.
"I'm his mother," she said to the nurse.
Addy, without a thought, stepped aside to let Grey's mother finish talking to the nurse. Addy went to stand next to Grey who was breathing a lot more easily, now.