by Carter Ashby
"Can you tell me what happened?"
She looked up to see a doctor with a clipboard. She glanced at the mother who was well within hearing, and gulped. "I…we were kissing, and he just suddenly pushed me away and said he was having difficulty breathing. I was flattered at first, but then he started clutching at his throat." She kept glancing at Grey's mom who kept darting dirty looks toward Addison. She told the doctor everything that happened.
"And your name?"
Addy gulped. "Addison Hart."
"Well it does appear to be anaphylactic shock. I would say that the young man who injected him with epinephrine probably saved his life. You say he hadn't eaten anything different?"
She shook her head.
"But he was kissing you when it happened?"
She nodded, her eyes stinging with humiliation.
"And did you have anything to eat before you kissed him?"
"Peanut butter, but—"
"He's allergic to peanuts," Grey's mother said, as she came over. She introduced herself to the doctor. "I'm Gloria McDaniel. His mother."
Addy backed up a step. "He never said anything about being allergic—"
"How well do you know him, dear?"
This sparked enough anger in Addy to overcome her feelings of fear and discomfort. She drew herself up, "I know him quite well, thank you. I have lunch with him every Tuesday and every Tuesday I eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and he has never once mentioned being allergic. In fact, today he asked me to share, only I wouldn't because…" Here, she ran out of words. She gave herself a shake. "Well it doesn't matter. Doctor, was it my kissing him after eating that sandwich that caused this?"
"Sounds very likely. Don't blame yourself, though. If he didn't tell you, you couldn't have known."
Addy involuntarily placed her hand over Grey's. "He could have died. Why wouldn't he tell me?"
Grey's eyes fluttered open. His breathing was still slightly labored, but he apparently felt good enough to say, "That was a killer kiss, kiddo."
At which point she stumbled back into a chair and burst into tears. She sobbed hysterically. Grey started to soothe her, but then he realized his mom was standing next to him. "Addison…mom?"
"Greyson," Gloria said. "You've told me so much about your teaching assistant, but you never mentioned you were having an affair with her."
The doctor cleared his throat. "Dr. McDaniel, you've experienced an allergic reaction to peanuts via…Ms. Hart's lips. I'll be prescribing you an Epi-pen to keep on hand in case of emergencies. Peanut allergies, as you know, are very serious. The nurse will give you some literature on the most common unexpected sources of peanut allergens."
"Wait, I'm allergic to peanuts?"
Gloria sighed. "Of course you are. When you were two your aunt gave you a peanut butter sandwich, and it put you in the hospital. We eliminated peanuts from our diet as a result."
"You…you never told me…mom, I'm thirty-five years old. How am I still alive?"
Gloria shrugged. "I'd assumed you knew."
"No!" he shouted. "I didn't know, dammit." He squeezed his eyes shut. "You are the most incompetent parent on the planet."
"Second most, dear. You mustn't forget your father."
Grey groaned.
Addy had stopped crying to stare in awe. What kind of relationship was this?
"Do you have any questions, Dr. McDaniel?"
"Shit," Grey muttered. "Uh, yeah. If this ever happens again, what do I do?"
"There will be instructions with the Epi-pen. After you use it, you should either call 9-1-1 or have someone take you to the hospital to be monitored for a couple of hours. Shock can be delayed, and you don't want to risk being alone and going through it."
Grey was nodding along. "So is that what you'll do now? Monitor me for a while?"
"Yes. You'll likely be released this afternoon, but we want to make sure you don't relapse."
"All right. Thanks."
The doctor nodded and left. Once the nurses were gone, Gloria rounded on Grey. "What the hell are you thinking, fucking your TA?"
Grey groaned. "God, mom."
Addy leapt up. "He almost died today because you never thought to inform him of this allergy!"
"I will not stand here and be reprimanded by my son's whore. You're excused, Ms. Hart. I'm sure Greyson will be in contact when he's better."
Addy laughed. "Excused? Listen, I've got my own version of you back home, I sure as hell don't have to take shit from you, too. I'm staying with him until he's released."
Gloria turned to Grey. "This, Grey? Really?"
"Yes, mother, this individual who is actually concerned for my welfare."
Gloria rolled her eyes. "Don't be tiresome."
"You always say that, and I never know what it means."
Addy watched the back and forth like a tennis match. Finally, Grey said, "Why did you even come."
"The university called me," said Gloria. "Despite what you think of me, I do concern myself with your welfare. You're my only son, and I love you."
Addy wondered if Grey would tell his mother that there was no such thing as love. He didn't. He closed his eyes, blew out a slow breath, and said, "I love you, too, Mom." He opened his eyes. "Let's start over, okay? Mom, this is my TA, Addison Hart. Addison, my mother, Gloria."
Addy couldn't manage a smile, but she did get her expression back to neutral. She was also determined to be the first to reach out, so she extended her hand. Gloria only hesitated a moment before shaking it. "I apologize," Gloria said. "The circumstances were tense."
"I'm sorry, too. If you'd seen him lying there…" She covered her mouth with her hand and squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't get the image out of her head. Another volley of tears burst forth. She sat on the edge of Grey's bed and buried her face in his chest, letting him stroke her hair and back. What did it matter, now? His mother knew about them, so there was no use pretending she wasn't madly in love with him.
"Shh, honey. Everything's okay, now." His deep voice rumbled in his chest and soothed her.
"I hate that I'm meeting your mother under these circumstances. It's so undignified," she sobbed.
Gloria laughed. "Dear, I'm happy to know you care so deeply for him. Though, I do hope all this crying isn't a regular thing with you."
Addy sat up and glared at her through puffy eyes.
Grey was grinning at her. "Addison hardly ever cries, Mother. She's generally in such control of her emotions that you don't know what she's feeling."
Addy considered that a high compliment coming from Grey, who was in even more control of his emotions than she was of hers.
At last she sat up and dried her eyes on her sleeve. She ran her palms over the tear-dampened spots on his shirt, aware of the warm skin and lean muscles underneath the fabric and how much she needed to feel him. After what had just happened, she just needed to be in bed with him, his naked body against hers, assuring her that he was alive and well and hers.
Gloria interrupted what was turning into a light petting session. "Greyson, I simply must know how long this has been going on."
Grey sighed. "Just a week. That's all."
Addy's heart ached. For her, it had been going on so much more than a week. She reached up to brush her fingers through his hair. He put his hand over hers to keep her from pulling away.
"You're not at all concerned about your reputation?" Gloria asked.
"Of course I'm concerned. Even more so for Addison. She's completing her thesis in a few weeks, and I don't want people thinking she slept her way through it."
"Does this mean you won't be bringing her to dinner anytime soon?"
"Probably not."
Addy couldn't stop touching him. It helped her keep from being hurt by the conversation that was going on.
"It's a shame. She seems awfully fond of you."
That did it. Addy stood and backed away. "I'm in love with him. But Grey doesn't believe in love. So no, I won't be coming to din
ner." She gathered up her purse and started to leave.
"Addison," Grey called. "I want to talk to you about the Peace Corps thing."
"Go," she said. "If you want to go, go. I'm happy for you. I hope you enjoy being back out in the field again." With that, she left. She had no place in that room.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Gloria arched a brow at Grey as Addison abruptly left, taking her warm, soothing hands with her. Yes, he'd needed soothing, too. The whole ordeal had been terrifying. To suddenly not be able to inhale was a panic-inducing event. Waking up to Addison's sweet concern had been a great balm.
Now she was gone.
"You don't believe in love?" Gloria asked.
Grey sat the bed up. He was feeling lots better, if tired. "Of course not."
"So you don't love that girl?"
"I don't believe in love."
"Then she's just another girlfriend," Gloria said, nodding as though having something confirmed. The strange thing was, she seemed slightly disappointed.
"She's not just another girlfriend. She's nothing like anyone I've ever dated before."
"Oh?" The eyebrow went back up.
"I've had feelings for her for three years now, and we finally went away together last week. I'd hoped we'd sort of get these feelings out of our systems so we could move on. But it turns out a week wasn't nearly enough."
"Dearest, a lifetime isn't enough for what you're describing."
It was his turn to arch a brow. "Oh? And how would you know? You, being so deeply in love with your husband?"
"You think I don't love your father?"
"Oh, I know you don't love my father."
Gloria laughed bitterly and shook her head. "So, I don't. It doesn't mean I don't know what love is. I've often hoped that you would choose love over practicality. Of course, in your case you get the best of both worlds, being already financially secure."
"You could have chosen love over money."
"Yes, but I didn't. Besides, we're not talking about me, we're talking about you. You're in love with that girl, and for some reason you've invented this whole 'I don't believe in love' excuse. Is it because she's a student, and you shouldn't be dating her?"
"No, it's because I don't believe in love. These feelings I have for her won't last. It would be unfair to ask her to jeopardize her reputation just so we could continue to have fun for the duration of our feelings. So I was honest with her, and our fling is ended. That's all there is to it."
Gloria sighed. "Next time she's with you, I'll hold a mirror up to your face. You're happy with her, Grey."
"I don't need a mirror. I know she makes me very happy. And I enjoy making her happy. But that's simply not enough to convince me to make the kinds of commitments she wants."
"What would convince you?"
"Nothing. There's nothing in this world that could convince me that those commitments are beneficial or even possible." He shrugged. That was that, in his mind.
"Hmm. It appears I was an even worse parent than I thought." Gloria stood and gathered her purse. "Well, better not to marry at all than to marry without love. At least you have that. Do you need anything before I go?"
He laid back and closed his eyes. "No, I'm good." As she walked out, he said, "Hey, am I allergic to anything else?"
"Not that I know of, dear. Oh, wait. Yes. Ibuprofen."
His eyes flew open. "What?" he cried.
"Did you not know that either?"
"No! Jesus, Mom. I keep ibuprofen on hand for my leg sometimes. Shit…that explains the hives. I don't always get them, but sometimes…Jesus, Mom."
"Well, now you know. You should switch to Tylenol. It can't be healthy taking something you're allergic to."
He just stared at her as she left the room. "Unbelievable," he muttered. He lay there in bed, alone, wishing Addison hadn't left.
Addy spent lunch the next day in Grey's office. She ate her tuna on rye and carrot sticks with one hand while she graded papers with the other.
A knock on the door frame caused her to jump. There was a guy leaning in, smiling at her. A gorgeous guy, her age, with a t-shirt hugging his fit torso, and torn jeans. He had a worn backpack slung over one shoulder. "Hey," he said.
She sat her sandwich down, dabbed the corner of her mouth with a napkin, and swallowed down the lump of food in her mouth. "Hey," she said. "Can I help you?"
There was a flicker of surprise. "Uh, no. Actually, I was just coming to check on you. After yesterday. You seemed pretty shaken."
It dawned on her who he was, and she felt herself smiling. "Mr. White Knight," she said, moving toward him with her hand extended. He shook it, his smile brightening. "I'm Addy."
"Ben."
"You saved Dr. McDaniel's life, you know that? I'm sure he would have been…" She choked on the words. "I mean, I'm not sure the paramedics would have made it in time."
She backed up, and Ben came into the office. "I'm glad I was able to help. That's a scary thing, watching someone go into shock like that."
"Has it ever happened to you?"
"Oh, yeah. A couple of times. I'm deathly allergic to bee stings, cedar, shellfish. It's crazy. Which is why I always keep the Epi-pen handy. Dr. McDaniel should do the same from now on."
"He will."
"You'll see to it, won't you?" he asked.
She blushed and looked down at her feet.
"So how do you get away with dating a professor?"
She took in a breath and forced her eyes up to Ben's. "I don't. It was a momentary indiscretion," she said.
Ben's expression sobered just a hint. "Hmm. Based on mutual attraction, though, right?"
She swallowed and shrugged.
Ben laughed, a little, and looked away. "Okay, so I was hoping to ask you out. But, I mean, I don't know what the nature of your relationship with Dr. McDaniel is, and I don't want to get in the way of anything."
Addy's heart lodged in her throat, her mouth hung open like a fish trying to breathe air. That was when Grey walked in, professional as ever, as though he hadn't just been hospitalized the day before. He wore a smile that vanished the moment he saw Ben. What replaced the smile was an emotion she rarely saw on him…anger.
"Addison, please conduct your social life outside of my office," he said.
The lump in her throat vanished, and she felt heat suffuse her cheeks. "Dr. McDaniel, this is the man who saved your life. Ben, this is Dr. McDaniel."
Grey managed to compose himself and shake Ben's hand. "Thank you for what you did. If you send me a bill for that Epi-pen—"
"That's not necessary. Looks like I may get a date out of it, so it's well worth the cost."
Grey's smile was delayed. And fake. "Well good luck, kids."
Addison recognized the dismissal. She took Ben by the arm and led him out and away from the door. "Listen, it's really nice of you to ask me out—"
"Nice has nothing to do with it. You are cute as hell, Addy. I'd like to get to know you. What do you say?"
She blushed to her ears. "You're cute, too, Ben, but I don't think I'm worth much, these days. These feelings I have for him…they're deep. I mean, I don't know how much I have to give to a date right now."
"Let me ask you this. Do you have a shot with him? I mean, are you waiting on something to work out?"
She bit her bottom lip against the pain of the truth. "No. There's no chance. Nothing to wait for."
Ben reached out and cupped her cheek. "I'm so sorry for that hurt. I know how to be a friend, first, Addy, so let me take you out. Get to know you. Maybe something will happen between us. Maybe not. But why not give it a shot?"
She ended up accepting because how could she not? Then she thanked him once more before returning to Grey's office. He didn't look up when she walked in. She stood in front of his desk. "Are you all better?"
"Yes," he answered.
"Will your mother be discreet about us?"
"Yeah. She doesn't want me disgraced any more than I do."
<
br /> Addy swallowed the lump that formed in her throat.
Grey looked up at her. "You going out with him?"
She blinked at the rapid subject change. "Yes. Friday night."
His jaw tensed. He looked back down at his laptop screen. "Good. Hope you have a good time."
The breath she took in was shaky. "It's what you want, isn't it?"
He looked up at her. At first there was just the mask. Just his calm, cool exterior. But then his color heightened, and his eyes blazed. "You know it isn't."
She glanced at the open door and lowered her voice. "Then what do you want me to do?"
"Go out with him. Fuck him. Do whatever you have to do to be happy, but don't expect me to be happy and supportive about it."
She glanced at the door again. "You've been dating other women all along—"
"We've already had this discussion. We both know this is going to hurt. Yes, I date other women, but what I don't do is parade them through here in front of your face."
"I didn't parade him—"
"Don't let him in here again, Addison. And don't say his name to me. I can't stand the thought of another man touching you."
She took in a deep breath to steady herself. She gave a brief nod and turned to leave.
"Does it have to be marriage?" he asked.
She stopped and turned to face him. "I beg your pardon?"
"You want forever. Does it have to be marriage? Couldn't we just promise to be exclusive to each other until the relationship no longer works?"
She stepped toward the desk and leaned on it, meeting his eyes. "Greyson McDaniel, I vow to love, honor, and cherish you, through sickness and health, richer and poorer, until I don't feel like it anymore. How's that sound?"
His jaw dropped, and he leaned back in his chair. He was no longer looking at her, but through her. "You're right," he muttered. "That sucks."
She stood straight and nodded. "Now, if you'd like, I can cancel my plans with B—I mean, my date, until you have time to come to terms with your feelings, one way or the other."
"Too generous, Addison. Go on your date." His voice was distant.