Dirty Little Lies (Dirty Little #2)

by Cassie Cross

  Ben’s looking at me with sympathetic eyes. “What did she say?”

  “That she was fine, because she had someone setting a good example for her.” God, just replaying that conversation in my head makes my heart ache.

  “You,” Ben says quietly.

  “Yeah.” The tears are falling freely now, and when Ben slides his hand across my shoulders—back and forth—I take the comfort and don’t flinch from it. “Honestly, I didn’t know she looked up to me like that. I didn’t think…I don’t know, I didn’t think I was the role model type.”

  “Of course you are.”

  “I heard that, and I thought, how can I let something terrible happen to her? How could I sit there and let someone follow through with that threat? I…” I swipe at my cheeks before I continue. “I just needed a distraction, so I went to see you. I was starting to have a panic attack, I think, or something kind of like it.”

  I pause for a moment, stopping to collect my thoughts. Ben has lied to me so many times in the past, but the guy I’m getting to know now…I don’t think he’d ever do something like I did tonight. It’s scary as hell to admit to him what I did, but it feels like the right thing to do. So, I take a deep breath.

  “You were gone, and your secretary was gone, and your computer was just sitting there and I figured I had to try…” I’m a sobbing mess at this point, I don’t even know if he can understand what I’m saying. I’m guessing he can’t, because even after the beginning of my confession, he’s still rubbing my back. Shouldn’t he be getting as far away from me as possible? “So I sat at your desk, and I tried to guess your password, and what the fuck was I even doing, Ben?

  “You come to me wanting to make a fresh start, and this is what I do?” He’s still patiently rubbing my back, not backing away from me like he doesn’t want anything to do with me ever again, just…being there for me. “I saw that picture you had of me on your desktop, and I felt sick because of what I was doing. I don’t think I could ever tell you how sorry I am. There aren’t words to even begin…”

  Ben cups my face, letting his hand slide around to the back of my neck. He pulls me close, letting his forehead rest against mine, and for the first time since I walked into his office, I feel like I can breathe again.

  “I forgive you,” he says. Like it’s easy as breathing. “I trust you.”

  “You shouldn’t trust me.”

  I can feel the short huff of a laugh that he lets out against my collarbone, before he reluctantly pulls away.

  “The very first reaction you had to what you were doing was to vomit in my trash can. That speaks worlds to me about the kind of person you are.” He tucks my hair behind my ear. “As if I didn’t know that already.”

  I can’t think of anything to say that will correctly convey all the feelings I’m feeling about him right now, so I just lean in and kiss him softly.

  He lets out a low, rumbling hum.

  “When Felicity told me that Corinne looked up to me, I...I mean, even before she said that I would’ve done anything to protect her.”

  “Just like I’d do anything to protect Felicity.”

  I hadn’t really thought about it like that. Of course he would’ve done the same thing for his sister, and that’s probably why it’s so easy for him to forgive what I tried to do for mine.

  “I almost became like my parents. I...I can’t let that happen. “

  He sighs, and the corners of his mouth quirk up. “You could never be like your parents. Not in a million years, no matter how many people try to blackmail you.”

  A rush of emotion that I’m incredibly hesitant to call love (even though it never really went away, even after our last breakup - but it’s too soon for all that) warms me, and I lean in and kiss him again.

  All that warmth cools a bit when Ben pulls away, and I see the hesitant look in his eyes before he says, “There’s something I need to ask you. I just...I have to know.”

  “What is it?” I ask, taking his hands in mine.

  “When did this guy threaten you?”

  “The other morning, after we had breakfast. He caught me as I was unlocking my door.”

  His shoulders slump in something that resembles relief. It takes me longer than it should to figure out why.

  “Oh, Ben,” I say, cradling his face in my hands. “No. Don’t even think that.”

  If I had any doubt left in my mind that he was serious about the two of us this time around, it would’ve been dashed at the look in his eyes when he thought that the only reason I agreed to get back together with him was because I was being blackmailed.

  “I just...”

  “I know,” I tell him. “I understand. But I decided to give this another go completely on my own. After this is over, whatever happens...”

  “I’m not going to let anyone hurt Corinne,” he says.

  I want to believe him, and I know he’ll do everything he can, but not even he can make a promise like that.

  “Okay.” I try to give him a reassuring smile. “When this is over, I’ll still be around.”

  “Provided I don’t fuck it up.” He’s being self-deprecating, and it’s cute. It makes me stop thinking about the gravity of the situation for a minute or two.

  I lean in and press my lips against his. “You’re doing pretty well so far.”

  * * *

  Ben and I have a few moments to ourselves before we have to put all of our personal issues aside and get to work on solving this incredibly huge problem that I’ve got. Unfortunately for me, the worst part of the conversation is coming, because security is on their way, and even though Ben knows more about what’s going on than he did an hour ago, he still doesn’t know anywhere close to everything.

  Thankfully Ben decides not to ask me any questions until the security guys show up; that way I don’t have to repeat myself.

  It’s a small blessing, but I’ll take it.

  Ben’s head of security is a tall, broad, well-dressed man, who looks like he spends most of his day doing squats and lifting weights. He’s bald and hard-looking, but incredibly nice. To me, at least. He’s accompanied by a much smaller man who has a laptop computer cradled in his left arm.

  Ben tells me their names, but I’m too keyed up to remember them.

  They’re both wearing suits, looking more like executives than the people who make sure those executives are safe.

  They sit down across from Ben and me, and the shorter one opens his laptop. Ben twines his fingers with mine as the questions start.

  “Do you know the perpetrator?”

  “No.”

  “Have you ever seen him before?” The smaller one asks as he types away on his laptop.

  “Not that I’m aware of, no. He was wearing a hat and sunglasses. I couldn’t really see his face.”

  “Are there surveillance cameras on your property?”

  “Just one at the front door. His face isn’t visible because of the cap, but I’ll get the footage for you anyway.”

  The taller of the two of them nods.

  “Is there anyone who could be targeting you or your sister?”

  I shrug, trying to be lighthearted. “Only about half of Manhattan, and god knows who else my parents screwed over.”

  “We need to get a security team on the sister, stat,” the taller guy says to the shorter one.

  “I already have one,” I say, and three pairs of eyes look at me, surprised. My purse is hanging from the back of the chair next to mine. I reach inside, and pull out a piece of paper, write the number of the point person from the security company on it, then slide it across the table.

  “Where’s the number for yours?” the taller security guard asks.

  “My what?”

  “Your security team, Marisa,” Ben says, like I’m an idiot for not realizing this.

  “I don’t have one.”

  “Why the hell not?” he asks angrily. “How could you get one for Corinne but not for yourself?”

  “I got
one for Corinne right after my parents’ arrest,” I explain. “I didn’t get that because of the pictures.”

  His eyes widen. “And still this managed to happen?” He looks over at the security team, and then back to me. “And why in the hell don’t you have security?”

  “I was scared to contact anyone after the guy approached me. I didn’t want to do anything out of the ordinary.”

  “Like try to protect yourself!” he yells.

  “He’s got nude pictures of my sister that he could send out with the press of a button, Ben. Famous people can come back from that, but children of thieves embroiled in a national scandal don’t. I was scared!”

  Ben sets his elbows on the table, leans forward, and pinches the bridge of his nose. “How is that not the first fucking thing you did after the scandal went public?” he says lowly. And I can tell by the look on his face when he glances over at me that the other question he really wants to ask is how he didn’t think of it before now.

  “My lawyer told me I should, but-”

  “But what? How was ensuring your own safety not at the top of your list?” he yells.

  He’s right, it was stupid. It was incredibly shortsighted and dumb of me to put my own ego above my safety. But I’m going to tell him the truth, even if it gob smacks him.

  “I didn’t want anyone to know I was scared. It seemed…weak.”

  I don’t dare look at the security guys, who have surely heard idiotic things like that more than once. I do, however regret looking at Ben. His head is slumped down near the surface of the table, and he’s rubbing at the back of his neck impatiently. A tell-tale sign that he’s well on his way to losing it.

  “Jesus Christ,” he says, and I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who can hear it.

  He takes a moment to get himself under control before he looks up at the larger security guy. “Take care of that.”

  The man nods.

  “What if this guy sees one of them, and gets the idea that I’ve told someone about what happened?”

  “To be honest, I don’t give a fuck,” Ben says, angry. “How could you be so careless with your own safety?”

  “No,” I say to the big guy. “I don’t want anything out of the ordinary going on. He can’t know!”

  “Ma’am,” the smaller guy says, sounding incredibly patient. “We’re professionals, and if we do our job correctly - which we will, no one will be the wiser that you’ve got a detail on you. You have my word. I have a sister, I…I understand how terrible this must be for you. We won’t let anything happen to either of you.”

  I pick at a growing hangnail on my left thumb, as I think about what he’s telling me. I feel an immense amount of relief now that Ben knows what’s going on. The nagging ache that I’ve felt in my chest, the inescapable worry about everything that was happening in my life is gone for the first time since all of this happened.

  Hell, probably for the first time since my parents were arrested, if I’m being honest.

  I really want to put all of this in someone else’s hands. Let them spend all day and night trying to find this shitbag, and to let them figure out who he is and why he went through me to get something from Ben.

  I want it so desperately.

  Ben looks like he wants that, too. Like the entire balance of his world hinges on me telling these men that yes, I’ll let them protect my sister and myself, and that I’ll trust them enough to get this done right.

  I want to.

  God, I want to.

  It’s just difficult placing the fate of the person I love the most in this world in someone else’s hands.

  “Okay,” I say, and I can actually feel the tension go out of Ben’s shoulders.

  He looks like he can finally breathe again.

  “Does Corinne know about this?” he asks.

  From the look on the security guys’ faces, this was obviously going to be their next question.

  “No,” I say, plucking at that hangnail again, needing to focus my attention on something other than the questions at hand. “I was hoping I could take care of this without her knowing. I…” I shrug. “I wanted to protect her.”

  Ben reaches over, and cups the back of my head with his hand. He runs his fingers through my hair reassuringly, and he doesn’t look angry anymore. Just sympathetic, like for the first time since all of this started, he understands where I’m coming from.

  “Hiding it from her isn’t protecting her,” he says gently.

  “I know,” I say, feeling like I’m going to cry. I have to swallow past the painful lump in my throat. “I know that.”

  “You need to tell her, Miss Blake,” tall security guy says. “We need information on the gentleman she was with that night. It might give us some clues as to who is behind this. If maybe he was part of it, too.”

  I nod. I need to give myself a few minutes to mentally prepare for that. “Okay.”

  “You’re staying with me,” Ben says. When I open my mouth to protest, he replies, “I’m not taking no for an answer.”

  Part of me wants to make it incredibly clear that he can’t tell me what to do, that that’s not how this thing between us is going to work. But I desperately need his help, and this is the first time in days that I’ve felt safe. I’d be foolish to walk away from that, and I don’t want to be foolish anymore.

  I want to get this taken care of and move on with my life.

  “Okay,” I reply.

  “Now you know what you have to do,” he says sympathetically.

  Unfortunately, I do.

  “Here,” he says, offering me his hand. He helps me up, and leads me down a long hallway into his bedroom. The view from here is amazing; he doesn’t even need to turn the lights on. The city lights coming through the floor-to-ceiling windows are all the light I need. The walls are brick, with no decoration. His bed is modern and neatly made, his watch and a few other things on his nightstand.

  There’s nothing on the nightstand on the opposite side of the bed, which is a strange thing to notice at a moment like this.

  “Sit down,” he says, motioning to the edge of the bed. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be out in the dining room if you need me.”

  My heart skips a little at the thought of what I’m going to say to my sister, and part of me wants to ask him if he’ll stay with me so I don’t have to do it on my own. It would be nice to have a hand to hold onto when I deliver this news.

  But, I’ve got to do it on my own.

  Ben starts to walk away, but I tug on his hand, pulling him back to me gently. He knows exactly what I’m looking for, and doesn’t hesitate to lean down and press a soft kiss to my lips.

  He whispers, “It’s going to be okay. She’s stronger than you think.”

  I nod, and watch him walk out the door.

  I give myself a minute, then dial Corinne’s number.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  A soft knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts.

  I’m still sitting on the edge of Ben’s bed, with my cell phone cradled in my hands. I’ve been crying so much that my eyes are puffy and painful and throbbing. My cheeks are hot and covered with dried tears. I’m sure my makeup is a mess.

  My head is pounding.

  There’s so much left to be done, but all I want to do is curl up in a ball and fall asleep until the world looks bright and new again, and everything in my body stops hurting.

  Corinne took it pretty well, all things considered, but I suppose I shouldn’t have expected anything less from my sister. She didn’t react so positively to me telling her that I had actually planned on going through with the blackmailer’s demand that I steal that program from Ben.

  She was more upset by that than she was when I told her about the pictures the guy used to blackmail me with.

  She cried and yelled, and asked me if I had learned anything at all from our parents, and reminded me that I didn’t have any room to hate them if I became someone just like them.

  That didn
’t feel very good.

  She asked me to give her some time to think about things, and I told her that I would give her all the time that she needed. I let her know that Ben’s security team was going to be in touch with her, and that they were going to send new guys to make sure she was safe.

  She didn’t fight me on it, so I knew this whole thing had her shaken up in a way that she didn’t want to admit.

  “Hey,” Ben says as he pushes open the door. The light that is streaming in from the hallway strains my eyes, since they are already achy from all the crying. I squint, holding up a hand to block out the light. “Sorry.” He takes a step inside the room, and shuts the door behind him.

  He walks over to where I’m sitting, and hands me a cup of something warm.

  “Hot chocolate. With the tiny marshmallows that I know you like.”

  I bring the cup up to take a whiff of the delicious smell, and let out a small moan.

  The bed dips as Ben sits down next to me, and I blow on the hot liquid so I can take a sip.

  “How did it go?” He places his hand on the small of my back, pressing his fingers into my skin. It’s reassuring and warm; it makes me cuddle against his side for a little comfort.

  “Not well. Not terrible, either.”

  “Is Corinne okay?” he asks, as his thumb slips underneath the hem of my shirt, and he rubs soothing circles against my skin.

  “As okay as she can be. She’s shaken up, but I think she’ll be all right. She couldn’t give me much information on the guy. They had met at a bar that night.” She’d been reluctant to tell me that information, as if I of all people would judge her for having a one-night stand.

  If only she knew all the terrible decisions I’d made in order to have sex. So, there’s no judgment coming from me, just concern. Because if she’s living in the kind of world where people are looking to fuck her for blackmailing purposes, then her life just got a whole lot more complicated, and probably a whole lot lonelier.

  And that just makes me even angrier at my parents.

  “The guys are going to call her now. They’ve got a team assembled, and they’re going to send them over to meet her, and look in on this guy.”