by Louise Hall
“I think you should give him chance to explain,” Kian said. “You know how easy it is for the media to manipulate things.”
“Why are you defending him?” Cate scowled, climbing into bed. “You’re supposed to be on my side. I was early for every single one of our training sessions. You know how much I hate being late for anything. I just don’t understand why he would say something like that?”
Cate thumped the pillow in frustration, “the only reason I agreed to do Stepping Out was because Abby convinced me that it would be really good for 33 Rocks.” Panic gnawed away at her as she thought about the implications of Declan’s horrible little speech for her charity. She’d been so proud of the work she and Abby had done to raise awareness of prenatal depression. “It’s a complete disaster. How is anybody going to take me seriously after what they’ve seen tonight?”
She jumped out of bed. “What are you doing?” Kian asked.
“There’s no way I’m going to be able to sleep tonight. I might go downstairs to the gym.”
She knelt down on the carpet and rummaged in her suitcase for her sports bra and trainers. “I keep going over it again and again. I didn’t recognise the gym in the VT; it definitely wasn’t the one we’ve been using in Seattle. Declan flew to L.A. a day early, on Thursday afternoon. He said it was his friend’s birthday… That’s when he must have filmed the VT.”
She stripped off her t-shirt and her hands were shaking so badly that it took her a while to untangle her sports bra. “If he lied about all of that, what else was he lying about?”
She suddenly had a horrible thought, “I bet he doesn’t even know Sadie.”
Kian came up behind her, wrapping his hands around her ribcage. “He wasn’t lying about that, angel.”
“How do you know?” Cate said angrily.
“I asked her.”
“Oh,” Cate stood still, allowing Kian to remove the sports bra from her clenched fists. “What did she say?”
Kian led her backwards until the backs of her knees hit the mattress and then he put a hand on her breastbone, pushing her backwards until she was lying down. “She knows both Declan and his wife, Hadley.” He knelt on the floor between her parted legs and kissed her stomach. “She said that they’re good people.”
Cate felt his fingers wrap around the waistband of her shorts. “Kian, I’m trying to be angry.”
Kian had a sparkle in his eyes, “wouldn’t you rather have an orgasm, angel?”
Cate struggled to sit up, “I don’t want shut-up sex.” Kian raised an eyebrow. “I don’t want you to have sex with me because you want to shut me up or because I’m too angry. You couldn’t get away from me fast enough in the shower when you realised that I’d had a wax.”
Kian held her wrists, tipping her backwards on to the mattress again. “You’re cute.”
“Don’t you dare laugh at me,” Cate hissed. Kian reacted quickly, before she could knee him in the crotch, pushing his hips down firmly between her parted thighs.
“Your pussy is so fucking addictive it’s like crack cocaine. I couldn’t give a fuck if it’s bare, got a landing strip or a whole fucking rainforest of hair covering it. Although…” he winked, slowly sliding down her body. “It might take me a little longer to find it.”
Cate rolled her eyes, “if that’s true, why did you stop touching me in the shower? Before you answer, bear in mind that I’ve already reached my limit for being lied to today.”
Kian reached for her hand and pressed it against the swollen bulge of his crotch. “You and I both know that I would have sex with you anytime, anyplace, anyhow.”
Kian propped himself up. “I stopped because I realised I was being a selfish bastard. You’re exhausted, angel. For the past three weeks you’ve been running yourself ragged. When you’re not at training, you’re looking after me and the children. You’ve got dark smudges under your beautiful eyes.” Kian stroked his thumb across her soft skin. Her eyelids flickered closed. “You’re covered in bruises. Even though I’m horny as hell, what you need right now is sleep.”
Cate pulled him upwards until his face was level with hers again, “I don’t want to go to sleep.”
When he looked doubtful, she continued, “there are so many thoughts going around my head right now that it really hurts.”
She gently scratched her nails underneath his belly button, making him hiss through his teeth. “You know what the best cure for a headache is?” She slid her fingers inside his pyjama pants and palmed his hot, thick cock.
“Paracetamol?” Kian had a lethal glitter in his eyes.
“Nope,” Cate shook her head, her aching breasts rubbing ever so slightly against his bare skin. “Try again.”
She tugged his pants down his muscular thighs. Kian kicked them off so the only barrier between them was her skimpy shorts. He locked his fingers in her hair, tilting her head back so he could slowly lick into her wet, sensual mouth.
He hooked her leg around his waist and ground his hips against her crotch. “It was a good job I was sat down watching you dance tonight,” Kian said huskily. “I was so fucking hard; I would have been arrested for public indecency.”
Cate laughed, “I looked ridiculous.”
Kian stroked his fingers slowly down her calf to the back of her knee. “In that short skirt with the slits up the sides, your legs looked fucking incredible.”
“I want you inside me,” Cate cried as he rewarded her with another slow screw of his hips.
As his hand slithered down her trembling thigh to the curve of her bottom, Kian nibbled on her earlobe, “how the fabric clung to your ass…”
“Oh,” Cate arched, her hands reaching up to grip the headboard as Kian eased his fingers inside her shorts. “You’re always so wet for me.” The bare skin made her feel even slicker.
With every torturous, not quite enough, stroke of his fingers, the world reduced until it was just the two of them and this bed. Nothing else mattered. With his thumb dizzily circling her engorged clit, Kian pressed a finger knuckle deep inside her. Cate shamelessly clenched around his finger, sucking him deeper inside her wet heat. He watched the rosy tips of her nipples unfurl just for him, begging to be licked, nibbled and sucked but she was too sore.
“Temptress,” Kian grunted, thinking about how her dress tonight had fallen to a deep v, showing off her fantastic cleavage.
He took her mouth, swallowing her cries as he spread out his hand, his pinkie finger pushing between the cheeks of her bottom.
Kian ripped off her shorts and sliced into his wife, claiming her with a deep, penetrating thrust. He gritted his teeth; his balls were pulled up so tight he thought they might explode. He held back, wanting to feel every fucking second of his wife’s second climax. It was too much, as her pussy shamelessly milked his cock, cutting through every last strand of restraint; he buried his face in the curve of her neck. Her skyrocketing pulse was the perfect soundtrack. He rutted his hips between her slender legs. With every harsh breath, he was intoxicated by the scent of her blackberry shampoo. She was every fucking thing to him.
He felt her gentle hands glide down his damp back until she was touching his clenched buttocks. “Come for me,” Cate teased, repeating the words he’d said to her so often. He came hard filling her until his release spilled down her thighs and on to the sheets beneath them.
Kian rolled onto his back and arranged Cate’s gently quivering body around him. “I thought you wanted me to get some sleep,” she teased, her cheeks still beautifully flushed from her second orgasm.
“How’s the headache?” he asked, brushing the damp tendrils of hair off her face.
“Ugh,” Cate put her head back down on his chest. “What am I going to do?”
Kian pulled the rumpled covers up over their sweaty bodies, “right now you’re going to go to sleep. Tomorrow morning, we’re going to go home to our children.” Cate relaxed a little thinking about Lola, Mateo and Sierra. She’d called them on the drive back to the hotel and Sie
rra was too young but Lola and Mateo had been so excited. It made her heart feel like it was too big for her chest because she’d never really done anything that they could be excited about before.
“I’m always on your side, angel.” Kian fitted Cate’s soft curves against him. “I just think you should talk to Declan before you decide whether or not you want to continue on Stepping Out.”
“Oops,” Cate was just drifting off to sleep when she remembered what Ludmila had said. “I wasn’t supposed to have sex with you tonight.”
Kian lifted his head up from the pillow, suddenly wide awake, “you weren’t supposed to what?”
Cate giggled as she told Kian what Ludmila had said during their spray tan session.
Kian flipped Cate on to her front, making her wince slightly as her aching breasts made contact with the mattress. He pulled back the covers so she was completely bared to him. “Where?”
Cate pressed her hand just underneath the curve of her bottom. “I think it’s there.”
Kian frowned, “if she was getting that up close and personal with your bottom, angel, I’m just fucking glad she’s a woman otherwise she wouldn’t have been giving anyone a spray tan for a really, really long time.”
Cate rolled her eyes, “I had knickers on.”
“Still,” Kian grunted. He stroked his thumb over the gently fading bruises on his wife’s delicate flesh. “So this Ludmila woman said that you’re not allowed to have sex while you’re on Stepping Out?”
Cate laughed, “not exactly. She just said that I shouldn’t have kinky sex while I’m on Stepping Out.”
Kian planted a kiss on her bottom. “Do you want to know what I think?”
“What?”
“Fuck Ludmila,” Kian bit down on his wife’s bottom just hard enough to leave a mark but without breaking the skin.
CHAPTER 9
“She’s getting so big,” Ruby gushed. Sierra was cuddled up on Cate’s lap while she and Ruby chatted on Skype.
“Don’t say that!” Cate stroked her daughter’s soft, black hair. As if she could tell what her mummy was thinking, Sierra snuggled closer to Cate. Since Kian had had the vasectomy and Cate knew for sure that they wouldn’t be having any more children, she wanted her youngest daughter to stay her baby girl for as long as possible.
In the background, Cate saw one of Ruby’s flatmates walk into her bedroom. “Oops, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“It’s fine,” Ruby shrugged. “Come say hi to my sister.” Ruby introduced the striking young woman to Cate. She looked very gamine; she was wearing black Capri pants and a black polo-neck jumper. Her jet black-hair was fastened neatly in a bun. “Cate, this is Emily, one of my flatmates.”
“Hi,” Cate smiled. She was pleased to see that Ruby and Emily had finally made friends.
“Hi,” Emily blushed. When she moved closer to the camera, Cate could see that she had really pale skin but the most amazing, electric-blue eyes.
“We watched your show online,” Ruby said. “Everybody thought you were under-marked.”
Emily nodded, “your Cha Cha was fierce.”
“I take it that’s a good thing?” Cate laughed.
“She’s actually really sweet,” Ruby confided after Emily had left the room.
“Ooh,” Ruby clapped her hands together, “before I go, I won’t be able to Skype with you next Sunday. Nico’s taking me to Brighton for a very dirty weekend.”
“Make sure you take lots of condoms,” Cate teased. “That’s how we ended up with Mats.”
“I will,” Ruby giggled, “ugh, I miss him so much. We Skype every night but it’s not the same.”
The screen flickered and then went black. “Ruby?” Cate wiggled the cursor. “Are you still there?”
When the screen came back up, Ruby was frowning. “It’s so frustrating. It keeps doing that. I might ask Emily if she’ll take a look at it. She’s a whiz with computers.”
“How was Ruby?” Kian kissed the top of his wife’s head as he walked into the bedroom.
“She’s missing Nico,” Cate carried Sierra into the nursery. “But she definitely seems more settled now in London.”
Cate put Sierra down in her cot and checked on Mateo and Lola. Lola had the nightlight on and was reading. “It’s time to go to sleep, sweetheart.”
“Just one more chapter, please,” Lola pleaded. “It’s getting to a really good bit.” Cate was proud of the fact that her eldest daughter seemed to have inherited her love of reading so she acquiesced. “OK but don’t stay up too late. You’ve got school tomorrow.”
“Have you talked to Declan yet?” Kian asked as she walked back into their bedroom.
Cate sighed, “today has been perfect. Please don’t ruin it by talking about that lying scumbag.”
“I’m not trying to ruin anything, angel. You’re going to have to talk to him at some point. You’re supposed to be training with him again tomorrow morning.”
“They already think I’m an unprofessional diva. Who cares if I don’t turn up to training?”
“You’ll care,” Kian circled his arms around her waist. “You’re not like that.”
She didn’t want to admit it but Kian was right. “Fine,” Cate grabbed her phone and went downstairs. She let herself out through the back door and walked across the grass to the small wooden dock at the back of the house. The moon was full and shining brightly on Puget Sound. Cate curled her legs up underneath her and dialled Declan’s number. “Please don’t pick up,” she repeated, tracing her fingers over the wooden slats of the dock.
“Cate?” Declan’s Irish accent made her angry all over again.
She looked down at the Sound and thought about how scarily close she’d been to just filling her pockets with rocks and drowning herself in the depths of that dark water. This was nothing.
“Kian thinks I should give you chance to explain,” Cate wanted to make it clear that if it was up to her, she wouldn’t be making this call.
“It was a crappy joke,” Declan said. “I’m sorry.”
“You think it’s funny?” Cate demanded angrily. “You’re unbelievable. I’m not doing this show because I want to be famous. I’m doing it to raise money for 33 Rocks, the charity I set up with my friend, Abby to help women who suffer from prenatal depression.”
“Cate…”
“Do you want to know where I am right now? I’m on the wooden dock at the back of my house. When I was pregnant with Sierra, I sat in this exact spot and I thought about how many rocks I would need to fill my pockets with so I would sink underneath the black water to the bottom of Puget Sound and never resurface. I was so desperately unhappy that I thought about killing myself and my unborn baby. That “crappy joke” doesn’t sound so funny anymore, does it?”
Declan was quiet for a minute, “Hadley’s brother, Jason killed himself when he was seventeen. He jumped in front of a train.”
Cate gasped, “I’m so sorry.”
“That’s why she can’t come with me to America; she can’t get a visa because she has a criminal record for drugs. After her brother killed himself, she was lost to me for over a year. I think what you’re trying to do is amazing. If you can stop even one person from feeling like you, Abby and Jason did, if you can stop one family from having to suffer like Hadley’s did… I would never do anything to jeopardise your charity, Cate.”
Cate sank down onto the dock; all of her anger had seeped away after hearing about Jason.
“Why did you do it? You said you were going back to L.A. a day early for your friend’s birthday.”
“I was. It was Max’s birthday on Thursday.” Max was one of the professional dancers on the show. “He asked me to meet him at the gym because he was still rehearsing with Sarah. After they’d finished, Max went to get showered and dressed and I waited in the empty studio.”
“Why did you say that about my time-keeping?” Cate felt a rolling in her stomach.
“I said it after our very first t
raining session. Do you remember when you kept bruising my toes?”
Cate found herself wanting to believe Declan. “You definitely didn’t say it on Thursday?”
“I didn’t, Cate. If you look at the footage, you never actually see me say those words, do you?”
“I still don’t understand. Why would they want to make me look like such a diva?”
“It’s all about ratings, chara.”
“Will I see you tomorrow?” Declan asked.
“I’ll think about it,” Cate said quietly.
As she walked into the house, the sloshing in her stomach got worse. She barely made it to the kitchen sink before she was sick. “Ow,” Cate clutched her aching stomach muscles as she leaned her forehead against the cool sink.
“You need to go to the doctor’s,” Kian gently rubbed her back.
“I’m OK,” Cate croaked. She gratefully took the glass of cold water Kian offered.
“This isn’t the first time you’ve been sick,” Kian watched her carefully. “If I hadn’t had the vasectomy, I’d think you were pregnant again.”
“You have and I’m not,” Cate was still thinking about what Declan had told her about Hadley’s brother, Jason. She’d had panic attacks and depression during each of her three pregnancies. As sad as she was that Sierra would be her last child, she just couldn’t put herself or her family through that again. She knew how lucky she was that she’d made it through to the other side.
CHAPTER 10
“So…” Liv eased her baby daughter, Sofia out of the sling and settled her down in the travel cot. “You still haven’t told me what dance you’re doing this week?”
Liv and Sofia were spending the night at Cate’s house since both of their husbands were away. Kian was in L.A.; Seattle F.C. were playing L.A. Galaxy tomorrow night while Liv’s husband, Jax was in New York to appear on one of the late-night talk shows to promote his new album.
“Ow,” Cate rubbed her back. She checked her watch but she’d taken the maximum number of painkillers about half an hour ago so it was too soon to take anymore.