The Happiest Day

by Sandy Huth

  “I’m fine,” Peter argued.

  “We’ll be there bright and early,” Rachel said firmly.

  “Until then, take it easy and get plenty of rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” Rachel walked him to the door and he turned before leaving. “Keep a close eye on him. He might get dizzy and I don’t want him walking around alone.”

  “I won’t let him out of my sight,” Rachel promised.

  She employed Symythe’s help in getting Peter upstairs, cleaned up, and into bed. “You’re treating me like an infant,” he complained.

  “How about some supper? We’ll eat up here.”

  “I’m not really hungry,” he answered, leaning against the pillow tiredly. “My head hurts.”

  She instructed Smythe to bring up some soup, tea, and aspirin. Peter dozed off, though, before it arrived. Remembering the doctor’s words, she didn’t leave the room. She read in a chair next to the bed until late, and then quietly changed into her nightgown. Climbing into bed, she snuggled close to Peter.

  “I’m sorry if I scared you,” he said in a hushed voice.

  “Oh, did I wake you?” She rose up on an elbow.

  “No. I was waiting for you to come to bed.”

  “Well, you did scare me but I know that you certainly didn’t mean to. I’m sorry about Apache, Peter.”

  He was silent for a moment. “He was a good horse. Doc Miller was right, I shouldn’t have been racing with the light going so quickly. The kids will be upset when the come home.”

  “I think they’ll be thankful that you weren’t injured badly.” She kissed him. “You want some aspirin?”

  “No, I’m all right.”

  “Get some sleep.”

  “You’ll stay with me?”

  “Forever,” she answered. “I’ll be right here.”

  She slept lightly, wanting to make sure that he didn’t need her help in the middle of the night. Around four in the morning, he groaned and she laid her hand on his chest.

  “What is it?”

  “My head is killing me,” he said, his voice pained.

  “Let me get you the aspirin.”

  “No…no…I just need to sleep.” He drifted off immediately and she took him in her arms, wishing she could make his pain go away. She fell into another restless sleep.

  She wasn’t sure exactly what time it was, but the room was still dark. She heard him say, “Want to race, Spider?” in a slurred voice. She smiled a little and pulled him closer. Then she heard a long exhale with a small rattle at the end. She froze. She had heard that once before. It was when Geoff had died.

  “Peter?” she asked, her voice trembling. “Peter?” She rolled over and turned on the light then rolled back, frantically pulling the covers away from him. His eyes were closed and he looked peaceful, but utterly still. She shook him, calling his name, but he didn’t respond. With shaking fingers she felt for a pulse, but unlike earlier in the evening, she couldn’t find the steady beat. She lowered her head to his mouth. No breath stirred her hair. She pulled back, uttering a stifled scream. It was as if her muscles had clenched and she couldn’t force out any sound.

  She turned, reaching for the phone, but knocking it to the ground. Rolling to the floor, she crawled until she reached the phone and picked up the receiver. She dialed the operator. “Hello,” she whispered in a raspy voice. “This is Rachel MacGregor at the Thornton estate. I need an ambulance here right away. My husband…I think my husband is dead.” She dropped the phone to the floor and crawled back to him, pulling him into her arms and waiting.

  Chapter 33

  Dr. Miller’s face was somber when he exited the bedroom. Rachel had not gone very far and was sitting on the top step. Smythe had placed a blanket around her shoulders. The live-in staff and stable workers were all gathered below in the main hallway. The silence was deafening.

  The doctor sat down next to her. He was almost seventy and had never felt his age as much as he did on this night. He had known this family for his entire career and had been with them through many tough days. This time, however, he felt personally responsible. He had failed them.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice breaking. “I should have made him go to the hospital.”

  “What happened?” she asked, her voice calm but barely audible.

  “I think he must have had a subdural hematoma, maybe even severed an artery. I think he bled internally, in the brain, causing a clot. Once that happens, the pressure builds until…Rachel, I’m so sorry.”

  “He’s really gone?” she asked, staring into nothingness, and Dr. Miller looked down at the group of people staring up at them. Employees all of them, no family. She needed someone.

  “He’s gone, Rachel.” For the first time in his career, he felt tears sliding down his face. He wiped them hastily and stood. “I’ll have the ambulance driver take him now. Where…where would you like…?”

  Smythe hurried up the steps. “All has been arranged, Doctor. I’ve already talked to the driver.”

  “I should go,” Dr. Miller said brusquely. He looked down one more time at Rachel. With her bare feet poking out from under the blanket and her hair loose around her shoulders, she looked like a girl again. “Is there anyone I can call? I don’t want to leave you alone.”

  Rachel looked up at him, her eyes not quite focusing. “I’m not alone,” she said softly. “He won’t leave me.”

  Dr. Miller almost collapsed on the step. He couldn’t bear her pain. Smythe again came to the rescue. “I’ll stay with her. I’ve already called Father Lawrence. He should be here any moment.”

  The doctor nodded his head wordlessly and reached out to touch Rachel, but then pulled back. He hurried down the steps and left the house without a backward glance. The ambulance driver and his assistant entered the bedroom and left a few moments later with a stretcher covered in a white sheet. Rachel kept her eyes averted. This was not the way she wanted to see Peter leave their home.

  Smythe motioned to the staff to disperse and sat down on the step next to Rachel. Even at this early hour, and in his bathrobe, he looked stiff and butler-like. His heart was filled with a painful aching, though, as he stood watch over his mistress. Suddenly, he saw her hand reach out and hover mid-air next to him. He stared at it, not understanding for a long moment. Finally, he realized what she was doing and laid his own hand in it and they sat together like that until the front door opened and Laurie came racing in.

  He bounded up the steps until he reached his sister and pulled her into his arms. Smythe stood to go but Rachel halted him momentarily. “Smythe, after you’ve rested and had something to eat, will you pick out a suit for Peter and have it delivered to the funeral home? You know better than anyone what suit he liked best.”

  Smythe nodded, gritting his teeth to prevent any emotion from showing. “Yes ma’am, it would be my honor.”

  “Thank you for everything, Smythe.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  It wasn’t until he was gone that Rachel let go. Harsh sobs broke from her body and Laurie held her close to his chest, unashamed of his own tears. Thirty-four years ago, his sister had protected him on that horrible night, daring anyone to come between them. He would do the same for her until his last breath.

  “Of everyone we have lost,” she cried in a hoarse, tortured voice, “this is the one I don’t think I can bear.”

  “We will bear it,” he said. “We will bear it together and with God’s help.”

  She nodded against his chest. “The children have to be called.”

  “I’ll handle that.”

  “I don’t know if I want to live without him, Laurie.”

  “Don’t say that,” he said sharply. “Don’t even think like that.”

  “Always before, when I lost someone, Peter was always there for me. When Mama and Papa died, it was Peter who took me into his arms. When Ruby died, Peter was with me. Geoff, Norris, Theo…he was always there. Who will comfort me now?

  “I will. The chi
ldren will.”

  “I don’t know if it’s enough,” she said honestly, grief threatening to swallow her whole. “I don’t think I can do this, Laurie.”

  “Do you remember when Bert lost Maryanne and you called me that night and asked me to go sit with him?” She nodded. “Well, I never told you what happened. He was contemplating taking his life that night. You sensed it, somehow, and knew that we couldn’t let that happen, no matter how much he missed her. You have seven children who will continue to need you every day. They will help you through this.”

  Later that morning, he called Theo’s parents in Boston and explained to them what had happened. He asked them to break the news to everyone gently and help them make arrangements to return home as quickly as possible. He then called Bert in California. That conversation took longer and Rachel could hear the emotion in Laurie’s voice as he and Bert talked.

  “Bert said they’ll catch the next flight home. Theo’s parents will get everyone on a train today. I told Bert we’d wait to make arrangements until everyone was home.”

  “I feel so cold,” Rachel said, staring out the window. Buckets of rain were coming down, washing the golden and scarlet leaves off the trees.

  “I’ll build up the fire,” Laurie said. “Do you think you can eat?”

  She nodded her head. “No.”

  He didn’t push her yet but knew he would have to before the day was over. He added more wood to the fire and fanned the flame. Still crouched, he stared into the blaze. It was unbelievable that Peter was never again going to be here to do this. One moment here, the next moment gone.

  “He loved you with every fiber of his being.”

  “I know.” She sighed. “I wasn’t ready to say good-bye, though.”

  “Would you ever have been?”

  “No.” She turned restlessly from the window. “They’re all gone now. Norris, Helen, Maryanne, Geoff…and now Peter.”

  “I know.” He stood and turned to look at her. “Look at what they’ve left behind, though. An amazing group of children and someday, grandchildren. The family will go on.”

  She sat down on the couch where Peter had laid just last night. “I wish everyone was here.”

  They all arrived within a few hours of each other, still in shock from the news. Rachel hugged her nephew, Alan, gratefully, wishing she could pay more attention to him. For now, though, she only whispered, “I’m so happy you’re home.”

  “I’m sorry, Aunt Rachel,” he said in a guttural voice. She saw the scars on his neck and touched them in sympathy.

  “I’m sorry for everything you went through. Your uncle and I never stopped praying for you.”

  “I know. Thank you for taking care of my dad and sister while I was gone.” He bent his head to her ear. “It’s our turn to take care of you.”

  Late into the night, she sat with her family and felt a tiny flicker of warmth in her body. Peter was gone but they had created this amazing family. When Ruby had died, she couldn’t imagine ever loving any child the same way again. Then David had been born, followed by the others and each time her heart had expanded. Peter had treated them all as his own children, loving them and teaching them how to be fine men and women. She looked at each one of them now, realizing how lucky she was to be surrounded by each and every one of them.

  David, her serious, intelligent, deep thinker of a son. The only child she had created with Peter. He had always been her special first-born, the one who was her never-ending connection to Peter. He still was, she realized as she gazed at his profile, so much like his father’s.

  Matthew, her peace keeper and kind hearted son. He cared about everyone around him and even beyond him. He had his own father’s love of exploring and she knew that she would probably have to give him to the world someday.

  Steven, her hot headed and quick tempered son. He was fiercely protective of all he loved and tended to talk with his fists before thinking with his head. He would need direction to keep himself satisfied and safe.

  Lily, her only daughter. Sweet and immature, but only because they had allowed her to be. She was petted and pampered but had a charming disposition which prevented her from being unpleasant. Rachel had never wanted her daughter to suffer the way she had but realized now that she could protect her from everything.

  Rose and Alan, Maryanne’s beautiful children, and Lorraine, Adrian, and Teddy, the result of Theo’s long-term indiscretion, completed the next generation. Rachel wasn’t sure what the future held for all of them but hoped that someday she would be calling Lorraine her daughter-in-law. She also hoped that she would be present as each of them found their calling, married their love, and brought their own children into the world.

  Rachel closed her eyes and pictured Peter, as he had been on that last day. Satisfied with life and deeply in love with her, his words would always live with her. “Promise me if anything were to happen to me, that you’ll keep on searching for those happy days. Don’t let it be the end.”

  “I promise,” she whispered to him now. She saw him smile and with one last wink, he turned and faded away. She opened her eyes, the endless tears spilling over. Bert reached over and squeezed her hand.

  “You O.K., Rae? Can I get you anything?”

  “No, I’ve got everything I need right here.” She took a deep breath and reached down deep for that strength that Peter had so admired. “Everything I need.”

  Epilogue

  “Grandma?”

  “Mm?” Rachel looked up from her work. Her twelve year old granddaughter, Holly was visiting her today and was perusing the books on the library shelves. “What is it, darling?”

  “Which of these is your favorite book?”

  “Oh, that’s hard to say.” She laid down her pen and leaned back to think. “Why do you ask?”

  “I have to do a book report for school on a book I’ve never read before. I’ve read all the books at my house.”

  “I’m partial to Wuthering Heights.”

  “Mm,” Holly responded, sounding unimpressed. “Who’s this? Edgar Allen Poe?” She pulled a well-worn volume off the shelf.

  “He was an author and a poet. That is a collection of his poetry.”

  “Do you like him?”

  “He’s a very dark writer. Most of his stories reference death or the macabre.” Rachel smiled a bit. “Your grandfather’s favorite poem is in that book.”

  Holly’s interest was sparked. “It is? Which one?”

  “It’s called The Happiest Day.”

  Holly flipped through the book until she came to the poem. Her lips moved slightly as she read the poem, and then looked up with her eyebrows scrunched together. “I don’t think I get it.”

  “Well, it basically says the higher you fly, the harder you fall. He believed that there is always a downfall after your happiest day.”

  Holly boosted herself up on the side of Rachel’s desk, looking down at the book again. “Do you believe that?”

  Rachel shrugged. “I don’t know. To me, it seems like too sad of a way to look at life, whether it is true or not.”

  “Me, too,” the younger girl agreed. “I’m not sure I like this poem, but I like reading something that I know Grandpa read.” She looked back up at her grandmother, her brown eyes expressive. “Do you ever miss him, Grandma?”

  “Every moment of every day of every year,” Rachel answered. “He was the love of my life. That feeling doesn’t go away.” She swallowed hard. “I know we’ll be together again someday, though.”

  “Don’t say that!” Holly cried, aghast. “That means you would be dead, too, and I don’t ever want to be without you.”

  Rachel knew that death was an unpleasant concept for a twelve year old to accept but didn’t want her to be afraid of it. “Holly, I’ve lost many people in my life, starting with my parents when I was just eight years old. Each time I lost somebody, the pain was overwhelming. There were times that I didn’t know how to put one foot in front of the other. I’ve learned so
mething, though. It’s best to embrace the pain, because it won’t last forever and it’s a necessary part of the journey to feel happy again. When your grandfather died, I hurt so badly that it hurt to breathe. I didn’t see the point in living without him. I had made a promise to your grandfather, though, that I would keep on searching for the good things in life.”

  “When did you become happy again?”

  “It didn’t happen all at once,” Rachel explained. “When spring came, and the flowers started poking out of the ground, I felt a kernel of happiness. When your mother married your father, I was happy enough to smile. On the day that you were born, I fell in love all over again.”

  “Oh, Grandma,” Holly said with a grin, bending down to kiss her on the cheek. “I don’t know why everyone says you’re so tough. I think you’re a marshmallow.”

  “Thanks, I think.” Rachel winked and, picking up her pen, returned to her work

  “Grandma?”

  “Yes, Holly?”

  “What was your happiest day ever?”

  Rachel thought all the way back to her parents. She pictured herself and Laurie dancing around the living room with Norris while her mother played the piano and her father laughed and clapped. She thought of holding David in her arms…her first born, her very special boy, followed by the other children, each one unique in their own way. She thought of laughing and exchanging secrets with Maryanne, riding horses with Geoff, and celebrating a news story with Bert. She remembered those early days with Theo and the later days with Peter. Feeling tears prickling the corner of her eyes, she remembered that last beautiful day with Peter and his request that she never stop searching for her happiest day. She looked up at her granddaughter, so full of life and promise. Her heart swelled with love and pride.

  “Today, Holly. Today is my happiest day.”