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The Loving Spirit

Page 22

by Lucy Gordon


  ‘Hm! And these accusations Millicent makes against Kate?’

  ‘Nobody who knows my wife would believe a word against her,’ Justin declared. ‘If anyone was so foolish as to give an ear to unfounded rumours they will soon realize their mistake when it is seen that Kate and I live on excellent terms. Beyond that I have nothing to say.’

  The indomitable old woman regarded him through her lorgnette for a moment.

  ‘Splendid!’ she said at last. ‘I always liked Kate. I’m glad to know there’s nothing in it.’ Her eyes met her grandson’s. ‘Not that I’d have believed it if there was.’

  ‘Thank you, ma’am,’ Justin said, his stern features soften;

  ‘And her son? Doing well in the army? Good reports?’

  ‘Excellent reports. When my stepson returns home on furlough I should like the honour of introducing him to you.’

  ‘I shall look forward to it. Always did like a young man of spirit. Now for the future. I’m taking Charmaine to Havering Manor with me. After Christmas I’ll bring her back to London, and we’ll see about finding a better match for her. I don’t know why I’m taking on the rigours of a season at my time of life, but seems nobody can do anything unless I do it for them.’

  Millicent could bear it no longer. ‘Of course, Charmaine and I must be honoured by an invitation to Havering Park...‘

  ‘Did anyone speak to you?’ the duchess demanded. ‘Did anyone invite you anywhere? If you turn up at Havering I’ll have the doors barred against you. Now take yourself out of my sight.’

  *

  It was two days before Kate was ready to leave her bed, and she slept most of that time. Once, during the night, she awoke find Justin beside her, watching her with brooding eyes, like a miser with recovered treasure. Then he kissed her and she slept again.

  Even in her waking moments she was drowsy, and received only a confused impression of what was happening in the house. Charmaine’s departure, then Millicent’s, were things she seemed to hear of from a distance.

  There were other things that she knew nothing of at all; the letter Justin despatched to Portsmouth, Ferris’s hurried comings and goings, his reports to his master that made Justin grunt with satisfaction. Nor did she see the newspaper announcing that Lord Danby, mindful of his duty to his country, had forsaken the charms of London to return to the rigours of army life.

  When Justin was sure that his wife was fit to travel he arranged their journey home, starting early, to be sure of reaching Farringdon Park the same day. She spent the journey in her husband’s arms, sometimes sleeping with her head on his shoulders, sometimes murmuring contentedly, telling him the whole story, so that there should be no secrets between them any more.

  ‘What can I say?’ he asked. ‘How can you love me after the way I treated you?’

  ‘Because I cannot help loving you. I knew how terrible the news would be to you, how much pain it would cost you to think that I had...’

  ‘Hushl’ He silenced her with his fingertips over her mouth. ‘I will allow nobody to speak badly of you, including you. I knew you were different from all other women. I should have trusted you, known that however it looked, you were innocent. When I returned and found your letter I was truly punished.’

  ‘But what changed you?’ she asked in wonder. ‘When you left, you hated me. What brought you back a different man?’

  ‘Amelia. She reminded me of the cruelty I inflicted by harsh judgements, and how I made myself a worse man by doing so.’

  ‘Amelia,’ Kate said in wonder. ‘Yes, of course, it would be her.’

  ‘At her death she promised that she would be there when I needed help. And she was. She gave us to each other, and now she has restored us to each other.’

  It was late evening as Farringdon Park came into view, now really her home as never before. As the bright windows became visible against the darkness, Kate leaned eagerly from the carriage.

  ‘Be careful,’ Justin said, drawing her back against him. ‘The air is cold. You mustn’t catch a chill.’ He wrapped his cloak about her and kept her against him until the carriage stopped.

  Ferris, who had travelled ahead, was there in the hall to attend them. When greetings had been exchanged Justin said,

  ‘Are they here, Ferris?’

  ‘Since this afternoon, My Lord. They have the best guest room as you instructed, and are now in the library. I asked if they wished to retire, but they preferred to stay up to greet you.’

  ‘Who is this?’ Kate asked.

  ‘Some friends of mine, people I met in Portsmouth just before Tom returned. I thought you might like to meet them, so I sent for them.’

  He raised his head to look above them. Following his gaze she saw the four older children clad in their night clothes, peering through the banisters. Grace immediately scrambled down to throw herself into Kate’s arms, and the two younger boys followed.

  ‘Kate, guess what...’

  ‘Kate, come and see...’

  ‘Hush, both of you or I’ll send you back to bed. Philip my dear.’

  ‘Hallo Mama...Papa.’ For a moment Philip looked as if he would shake hands. He’d reached the age when a boy was awkward with emotion. But then his natural affection overcame him and he kissed Kate’s cheek.

  To Justin he did hold out his hand, but then something he saw in his father’s eyes seemed to change his mind. The next moment father and son embraced tightly while Kate looked on with pleasure.

  ‘I’m sorry, Your Ladyship,’ Miss Blaydon said from behind them. ‘Since they knew you were coming home tonight I haven’t been able to do anything with them.’

  ‘Never mind,’ Kate said. ‘They can be good tomorrow.’

  ‘Come and meet my friends,’ Justin said.

  ‘Aren’t you going to tell me about them first?’

  ‘You’ll understand everything when you see them,’ he said mysteriously.

  He threw open the library doors, walking in ahead of her and saying, ‘Good evening. I should like you to meet my wife.’

  From their places by the fire the Rev Thomas Ward and Mrs Ward rose to face the great lady who approached them, smiling a welcome. The next moment all three of them froze, staring at each other in joyful disbelief. Then a cry broke from Kate.

  ‘Mama! Papa!’

  It was Mrs Ward who moved first, making her way unsteadily to put her arms around her daughter. Tears were pouring down her face, and she could hardly speak, but when she did it was to repeat endlessly, ‘Melissa...

  Melissa...’

  The Rev Ward remained where he stood, as though something held him petrified, but he held out his arms to his child.

  ‘Forgive me,’ he said hoarsely. ‘Forgive me.’

  ‘Papa...Papa.’

  ‘We came back and you weren’t there,’ her mother said. ‘All these years we’ve pictured you dead.’

  Justin withdrew from the library, quietly closing the door behind him.

  *

  It was very late before Kate joined Justin. She had seen her parents to their room, her mind a jumble of confused joy, through which only one thing was clear: her last grief had been swept away, and it was Justin who had done it.

  They must talk and he must tell her how he’d encountered them in Portsmouth, and become convinced, when he first heard her story, that she was their missing child.

  ‘I couldn’t tell you, in case I was wrong, and I’d raised your hopes without cause. But now they will live with us, and you can all make up for the lost years.’

  He stroked her face.

  ‘So your name is really Melissa. But to me you will always be Kate, because it was Kate who rescued me from the pit of hell, and Kate who will always watch over me. It was Kate whom Amelia gave to me, and Kate you will be until the end, and beyond.’

  ‘What beyond is that, my darling?’

  He hesitated, then said in a low, moved tone, ‘The time when the three of us will be together, unto eternity.’

  *
r />   In the soft light of dawn, Kate slipped out of the house, needing to be alone in the cool morning air. Too many impressions fought for her attention. Joy and sadness intermingled as they always had with her.

  There had been a heavy fall of snow during the night, and everywhere was white, softly gleaming, and beautiful. She made her way to the rose arbour, empty now that all the roses were safely under cover in green houses, waiting for the moment when it would be safe to bring them out to flower again. Its emptiness might have made it a bleak place in the winter cold, but Kate didn’t find it so. Even in winter Amelia had loved to be here, planning what she would do in the spring. So when Kate needed to speak to her, she knew this was still the place.

  Pulling her thick woollen cloak firmly around her she went to the bench and sat quietly with her eyes closed, until the moment was right. And at once she knew that something was different. The unease she had sensed before was finally gone.

  ‘You were right,’ she told Amelia silently in her heart. ‘Things could never be well with Justin and me until there were no more secrets dividing us. Now the distrust is over, and the years ahead will be as we make them.

  ‘What we have will always be what you gave us through your love and generosity. I’ll look after the children, as I promised, and I’ll look after Justin, because he needs it as much as they do. I told Lady Havering that I’d keep faith with you, and I always will, my dear. I’ll keep faith, right to the end.

  ‘You’ve watched over us, and loved us, and you’ll be with us all our lives, and beyond...in that eternity he speaks of. When I look into his heart, I know I’ll always find you there, just as he will always find you in mine.’

  It was very quiet here now, the quiet of peace. She felt it at this moment as she had never felt it in this place before. And now that Amelia was at peace, she knew that she could be at peace also.

  Raising her head she saw her husband standing at the entrance to the arbour, watching her. Smiling, she rose to go to him. After the first few steps he held out his arms, and she began to run.

 

 

 


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