Day of the Moron
Page 4
recommended by Dr. Karl von Heydenreich, who is not inclined tobe careless with his recommendations."
"Well, Mr. Melroy, we don't want any more trouble with you than we haveto have," Crandall told him, "but we will insist on reviewing anydismissals which occur as a result of these tests."
"You can do that. I'd advise, first, that you read over the contract yousigned with me. Get a qualified lawyer to tell you what we've agreed toand what we haven't. Was there anything else you wanted to talkabout?... No?... Then good morning, Mr. Crandall."
He hung up. "All right; let's get on with it," he said. "Ben, you getthem into the lunch room; there are enough tables and benches in therefor everybody to take the written test in two relays."
"The union's gotta be represented while these tests is going on," theunion steward announced. "Mr. Crandall says I'm to stay here an' watchwhat you do to these guys."
"This man working for us?" Melroy asked Puryear.
"Yes. Koffler, Julius. Electrical fitter; Joe Ricci's gang."
"All right. See to it that he gets placed in the first relay for thewritten test, and gets first turn for the orals. That way he can spendthe rest of his time on duty here for the union, and will know inadvance what the test is like." He turned to Koffler. "But understandthis. You keep your mouth out of it. If you see anything that looksobjectionable, make a note of it, but don't try to interfere."
The written tests, done on printed forms, required about twenty minutes.Melroy watched the process of oral testing and personal interviewing fora while, then picked up a big flashlight and dropped it into hisovercoat pocket, preparatory to going out to inspect some equipment thathad been assembled outside the reactor area and brought in. As he wentout, Koffler was straddling a chair, glowering at Doris Rives and makingoccasional ostentatious notes on a pad.
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For about an hour, he poked around the newly assembled apparatus,checking the wiring, and peering into it. When he returned to thetemporary office, the oral testing was still going on; Koffler was stillon duty as watcher for the union, but the sport had evidently palled onhim, for he was now studying a comic book.
Melroy left the reactor area and returned to the office in the convertedarea. During the midafternoon, somebody named Leighton called him fromthe Atomic Power Authority executive office, wanting to know what wasthe trouble between him and the I.F.A.W. and saying that a protestagainst his alleged high-handed and arbitrary conduct had been receivedfrom the union.
Melroy explained, at length. He finished: "You people have twenty Stuarttanks, and a couple of thousand soldiers and cops and undercover-men,here, guarding against sabotage. Don't you realize that a workman whomakes stupid or careless or impulsive mistakes is just as dangerous tothe plant as any saboteur? If somebody shoots you through the head, itdoesn't matter whether he planned to murder you for a year or justdidn't know the gun was loaded; you're as dead one way as the other. Ishould think you'd thank me for trying to eliminate a serious source ofdanger."
"Now, don't misunderstand my position, Mr. Melroy," the other manhastened to say. "I sympathize with your attitude, entirely. But thesepeople are going to make trouble."
"If they do, it'll be my trouble. I'm under contract to install thiscybernetic system for you; you aren't responsible for my labor policy,"Melroy replied. "Oh, have you had much to do with this man Crandall,yourself?"
"Have I had--!" Leighton sputtered for a moment. "I'm in charge ofpersonnel, here; that makes me his top-priority target, all the time."
"Well, what sort of a character is he, anyhow? When I contracted withthe I.F.A.W., my lawyer and their lawyer handled everything; I nevereven met him."
"Well--He has his job to do, the same as I have," Leighton said. "Hedoes it conscientiously. But it's like this--anything a workman tellshim is the truth, and anything an employer tells him is a dirty lie.Until proven differently, of course, but that takes a lot of doing. Andhe goes off half-cocked a lot of times. He doesn't stop to analyzesituations very closely."
"That's what I was afraid of. Well, you tell him you don't have anycontrol over my labor relations. Tell him to bring his gripes to me."
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At sixteen-thirty, Doris Rives came in, finding him still at his desk.
"I have the written tests all finished, and I have about twenty of thetests and interviews completed," she said. "I'll have to evaluate theresults, though. I wonder if there's a vacant desk around here,anywhere, and a record player."
"Yes, sure. Ask Joan to fix you up; she'll find a place for you to work.And if you're going to be working late, I'll order some dinner for youfrom the cafeteria. I'm going to be here all evening, myself."
Sid Keating came in, a short while later, peeling out of his overcoat,jacket and shoulder holster.
"I don't think they got everything out of that reactor," he said."Radioactivity's still almost active-normal--about eight hundredREM's--and the temperature's away up, too. That isn't lingeringradiation; that's prompt radiation."
"Radioactivity hasn't dropped since morning; I'd think so, too," Melroysaid. "What are they getting on the breakdown counter?"
"Mostly neutrons and alpha-particles. I talked to Fred Hausinger, themaintenance boss; he doesn't like it, either."
"Well, I'm no nuclear physicist," Melroy disclaimed, "but all that alphastuff looks like a big chunk of Pu-239 left inside. What's Fred doingabout it?"
"Oh, poking around inside the reactor with telemetered scanners andremote-control equipment. When I left, he had a gang pulling outgraphite blocks with RC-tongs. We probably won't get a chance to work onit much before thirteen-hundred tomorrow." He unzipped a bulky briefcase he had brought in under his arm and dumped papers onto his desk. "Istill have this stuff to get straightened out, too."
"Had anything to eat? Then call the cafeteria and have them send upthree dinners. Dr. Rives is eating here, too. Find out what she wants; Iwant pork chops."
"Uh-huh; Li'l Abner Melroy; po'k chops unless otherwise specified."Keating got up and went out into the middle office. As he opened thedoor. Melroy could hear a recording of somebody being given aword-association test.
Half an hour later, when the food arrived, they spread their table on arelatively clear desk in the middle office. Doris Rives had finishedevaluating the completed tests; after dinner, she intended going overthe written portions of the uncompleted tests.
"How'd the finished tests come out?" Melroy asked her.
"Better than I'd expected. Only two washouts," she replied. "HarveyBurris and Julius Koffler."
"Oh, _no_!" Keating wailed. "The I.F.A.W. steward, and theloudest-mouthed I-know-my-rights boy on the job!"
"Well, wasn't that to be expected?" Melroy asked. "If you'd seen the actthose two put on--"
"They're both inherently stupid, infantile, and deficient in reasoningability and judgment," Doris said. "Koffler is a typical adolescentproblem-child show-off type, and Burris is an almost perfecttwelve-year-old schoolyard bully. They both have inferiority complexeslong enough to step on. If the purpose of this test is what I'm led tobelieve it is, I can't, in professional good conscience, recommendanything but that you get rid of both of them."
"What Bob's getting at is that they're the very ones who can claim, withthe best show of plausibility, that the test is just a pretext to firethem for union activities," Melroy explained. "And the worst of it is,they're the only ones."
"Maybe we can scrub out a couple more on the written tests alone. Thenthey'll have company," Keating suggested.
"No, I can't do that." Doris was firm on the point. "The written part ofthe test was solely for ability to reason logically. Just among thethree of us, I know some university professors who'd flunk on that. Butif the rest of the tests show stability, sense of responsibility, goodjudgment, and a tendency to think before acting, the subject can beclassified as a safe and reliable workman."
"Well, then, let's don't say anything till we ha
ve the tests allfinished," Keating proposed.
"No!" Melroy cried. "Every minute those two are on the job, there's achance they may do something disastrous. I'll fire them atoh-eight-hundred tomorrow."
"All right," Keating shook his head. "I only work here. But don't say Ididn't warn you."
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