Right Where I Belong

by Krista McGee

  Dad stood at the front of the van. “Remember, folks, this is our last day at the church. Let’s get everything done and leave them with a beautiful surprise on Sunday.”

  Brian looked out at the church. Being here had been fun. He really connected with the pastor—despite Brian’s terrible Spanish. Guillermo had enough English that, between the two of them, conversation could happen.

  Guillermo was just eight years older than Brian. His father was a pastor too. They had great conversations about that life. Even in different countries, expectations of pastors’ kids remained the same. His dad’s church was large and fairly affluent. Brian was surprised to learn there were churches like that in San José. But when a man from this church contacted his father about their need for a pastor, Guillermo felt called to take the position. He was finishing his degree in engineering at the time. Because the church was so poor, he worked for the government and preached for free.

  “Brian.” Guillermo pronounced his name the same way Natalia did—BrE-ayn. “My friend, I was thinking about you all night. God has a message for you.”

  Brian stopped what he was doing. “A message?”

  “Is that not the right word?” Guillermo pulled out a pocket Spanish-English dictionary the men had used to help communicate.

  “No, that’s the right word. But it just sounds weird. A message from God? Isn’t that what the Bible is?”

  “Come with me.” Guillermo walked toward the back of the church. Exotic plants and trees with fruits Brian couldn’t name spread out before him. “You have a calling.”

  “I know.” Brian plucked a fuzzy green fruit and turned it over in his hands. “I’m a pastor’s kid, remember? We’re all called to serve God and honor him.”

  “That is . . . how do you say?” Guillermo flipped through the dictionary. “General. I am speaking of a specific calling.”

  “You know what I am supposed to do?” Brian didn’t like where this was going.

  “God has designed you to be in ministry.”

  Brian threw down the fruit in his hand. “Come on, Guillermo. You, of all people, should know how annoying that is. My dad’s a pastor, so I should be too?”

  “I no say you should be pastor.” Guillermo’s English got worse as he grew more passionate. “But ministry, yes. You have pastor’s heart. You care for people.”

  “I can do that in any job.”

  “Trust me.” Guillermo motioned to the church. “You unhappy in another job. I know. I tried. I no take this church right away. I no want it. Pastor. Me? So I work. Good job, good money. But I was muy miserable.”

  “Muy miserable?” Brian grinned.

  “You laugh at my English?” Guillermo slanted one eyebrow. “Señor ‘No hablo Español.’”

  Brian laughed at Guillermo’s impression of his terrible Spanish. “I really sound like that?”

  “No changing subject.” Guillermo shook a finger in Brian’s face. “Do not run from God’s calling. To run only makes the time spent doing his will shorter. Many regrets in that.”

  “I don’t want to be in ministry.”

  Guillermo breathed deeply. “Yes, you do. But you are scared.”

  Brian tensed. “It isn’t fear. It’s . . . I don’t know. I don’t want people criticizing me all the time. I don’t want my phone to always be on or my door always open. I want a normal life.”

  “What is normal?” Guillermo spread his arms wide. “There is no normal. There is God’s way and your way.”

  Brian hated how right this man sounded. “But if I’m not a pastor, then what?”

  “Missionary?” Guillermo smiled. “Many churches like this need pastor.”

  “Right. You’ve heard my Spanish.”

  “Language school.”

  Brian thought about working at a church like this one. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but the idea was appealing. He loved being in Costa Rica. Loved working at the church. But could he live here? Or in another country? Away from his family? He looked across the grassy yard to where Natalia was helping his mom pull out the decorations they purchased the night before. If I had someone to work with me. Someone like . . .

  “Natalia has a calling too.” Guillermo smiled.

  Can everyone read my mind? “Natalia is way out of my league.”

  “Out of your league?” Guillermo began flipping through the dictionary.

  Brian shut the book. “Never mind. I need to get back to work. But . . . thanks. I’ll think about what you said.”

  “I pray for you.”

  Brian hugged the man. He spent the morning painting the outside of the church and thinking about what Guillermo had said. The more he thought about it, the more excited he got. Was it a coincidence that he’d been working with the ESL ministry? That he felt more at home with them than with his own friends?

  A missionary? Brian had met a few as they had come through church. Some had lived in jungles and eaten strange foods. That didn’t appeal to him at all. But living in a place like Costa Rica, pastoring a church and maybe doing something else on the side?

  Surprisingly, the thought wasn’t nearly as repulsive as he thought it would be.

  Chapter 43

  And now we have a very special presentation.” Pastor Brian stood on the stage in the gym and motioned for Natalia to bring up her group of girls.

  Cassie and Alayna led the way with six other girls following behind. Natalia wiped tears from her eyes as she stood to the side and led them in their first song. “La Cucaracha” was a favorite, and many in the audience joined in. After that the girls sang a jump rope song, complete with jump ropes. Natalia thought she would burst with pride. The girls had worked so hard, and their pronunciation was perfect.

  They will be just fine in their new countries. Alayna, especially, had come a long way. Natalia had taught her several phrases to help her get to know girls in Ecuador. The eight-year-old practiced them everywhere she went, and she told Natalia that morning that she couldn’t wait to get to Loja and meet her new friends.

  When the girls finished, Natalia led them down the stairs and back with their group. Pastor Brian began to dismiss the crowd when one of the teachers at the school stepped in.

  “Boys and girls, we want to give a big thank-you to the folks from Tampa. How about a round of applause for all their hard work?”

  The room erupted in cheers and clapping. The children stood, as did their parents. The teacher at the front waited for a minute before urging the children to sit back down. “As you can see, they are very appreciative of all you’ve done. And during class the last few mornings, we have been working on something very special.”

  One of the fourth graders handed a stack of construction paper, tied with ribbon, to the teacher. “These are notes from every boy and girl in here. Please take this back to your church with our gratitude, and know that we will never forget you.”

  Pastor Brian accepted the papers and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. “Thank you all. We have been the ones blessed by this trip. We are so proud of all of you. You are going out into the world to spread the gospel, and we are honored to have been a small part in helping to encourage you in that ministry. Each one of you is treasured by God and treasured by us.” Pastor Brian couldn’t go on. Natalia cried with him, and the children, urged by their parents, ran to hug the nearest member of the Tampa team.

  The walk back to the house was the quietest it had ever been. Everyone was thinking about their good-byes.

  “Do we have to go sightseeing tomorrow?” Lexi, of course, was the first to break the silence. “Can’t we spend another day at the language school?”

  Pastor Brian shook his head. “I am not going through that again.”

  “They are such sweet kids.” Mrs. Younger nodded.

  “Most of them.” Addy cocked her head.

  A few of the kids were unruly—running out of lessons and talking back to the teachers. Addy had an especially difficult first grader in her Bible story time.
Little Jacob would stick his tongue out every time he saw her. When she tried to teach, he would grab the papers from her hand, crumble them up, and throw them at her. Pastor Brian had to be brought in to sit with the boy.

  “It was amazing,” Addy said. “But I’m ready to get back.”

  “Tomorrow will be amazing too.” Brian pointed toward the mountains in the distance. “Wait until you see the rain forest. And the volcano.”

  Natalia could see that Brian was falling in love with this country. She had seen him speaking with Guillermo the day before. She didn’t know what they had discussed, but it had kept him thinking the rest of the day. Being here had affected Spencer too. Natalia couldn’t believe the changes that took place in him in just a few short days. He had worked harder than anyone at the little church, and he even played with the missionary kids on the playground, giving them piggyback rides and playing soccer—not even caring that his expensive shoes were caked with Costa Rican mud.

  “I’m with Lexi.” Spencer’s quiet voice was at Natalia’s ear. “But I’d like to go back to the church. There’s so much more we could do.”

  “I know.” Natalia regarded Spencer as they made their way down the cracked sidewalk. “But I must admit I am looking forward to being a tourist. I’ve never seen a volcano.”

  Spencer slowed, letting the rest of the group go ahead. Natalia stayed back with him. “I need to apologize to you, Natalia, for being such a jerk back in Tampa. And here. You’ve been a good friend despite my behavior. Thanks for that.”

  “It has been exciting to see God work in you these past few days, Spencer.” And Natalia meant that. His eyes had been opened to the joy of serving God, and his joy had been contagious.

  “I need your help, though.” Spencer’s voice was quiet, and Natalia knew that admission was difficult for him. “I need to change, but it’s going to be hard when we get back home. Here, it’s easy. We’re on a mission trip, and most of my friends aren’t here. They’re not going to understand when I get back. It’ll be easy for me to just go back to the way I was.”

  Natalia thought of Spencer’s friends—the ones who mocked her and her friends as they were going to Bible study or who texted beneath their desks during Pastor Brian’s apologetics class. It would be hard for him.

  “Of course I’ll help you, Spencer. We’ll all help you. That’s what the body of Christ is for.” The pair walked faster, catching up with the group as they made their way into the house.

  Brian glanced her way, his expression hard to read. He had been different this week too. More distant. He didn’t talk to her nearly as much as he usually did. That should make her feel relieved, but it didn’t. She missed his conversations, his friendship. Too much.

  And then there was Spencer. He was changing. Much kinder. Hungry to know God more and serve him. He wasn’t the same rude rich boy she knew him to be. Was she developing feelings for him?

  No. Natalia shook her head to clear those thoughts. What am I thinking? He’s just being vulnerable right now, and that is endearing. But this is not attraction. And as she examined her feelings, she knew what she felt for Spencer was not what she felt for Brian. I don’t think about Spencer all the time. I don’t wish Spencer would sit next to me on the van. I don’t worry about how I look first thing in the morning because of what Spencer might think.

  “Girl.” Lexi bumped Natalia’s arm, following Natalia’s gaze to Brian, who was helping his mom pull out the ingredients for the evening’s snack. “You’ve got it bad.”

  Natalia quickly walked away, refusing to admit just how right Lexi was.

  Chapter 44

  Unbelievable.” Natalia stood on a bridge looking down at the rain forest. Monkeys lay in the trees, colorful birds flitted past her. And there were so many shades of green.

  “I grew up in a place like this,” Addy said, her voice soft. “I’d forgotten how beautiful it is.”

  “Do you miss it?” Natalia had never heard Addy mention her life growing up in the jungles of Colombia.

  Addy shrugged. “I know more about it from my mother’s journals than from my own memories. But she loved it.”

  “What made her want to be a missionary?”

  Addy looked at Natalia. “She and Dad just knew it was what God wanted them to do. It was a desire he put in their hearts.”

  “They were killed, weren’t they?” Natalia hoped she wasn’t prying.

  Addy bit her lip. “Yes. But so were most of Jesus’ disciples and many Christians throughout the years. Obedience comes at a cost. But I don’t think my parents would say they regretted that cost.”

  Natalia thought about that. Obedience comes at a cost. “I think your parents would be very proud of you.”

  “I hope so.” Addy sighed. “I know I’m proud of them.”

  “This is so different from San José.” Lexi interrupted the girls’ conversation. “Don’t you think, Spencer?”

  He was quiet, taking it all in. Hope flared in Lexi’s eyes. Her attraction to the young man had certainly not died. Natalia feared, however, that Spencer didn’t return those feelings.

  “What?” Spencer turned to Lexi. “Sorry. I was thinking.”

  “About how amazing God is to have created all this?” Lexi smiled at Spencer.

  “Actually, yes.” His eyes locked on Lexi’s. “How did you know?”

  “Spence, that’s what we’re all thinking.”

  His look of surprise faded to one of conspiratorial understanding.

  “Enough standing around.” Lexi began walking. “I want to get to the waterfalls. Who’s with me?”

  The group hiked farther, up steep stairs and past more monkey-laden trees.

  “My camera.” Natalia remembered that she left it lying on a log before the hanging bridge. She had taken a picture of the group and then continued on. “I need to go back.”

  “Not by yourself.” Pastor Brian’s “dad” voice took over. “Bri, go with her.”

  Brian looked like he would argue, but a glare from his father caused him to shake his head and keep going. Natalia hurried to keep up with him. Halfway across the bridge, she said, “Slow down. Don’t forget I’m about a foot shorter than you are, Goliath.”

  Brian slowed. “Sorry.”

  “I’ll go as quickly as I can.” Natalia felt his frustration, but she didn’t understand the source. “I know you want to be with the rest of the group.”

  Brian turned around, and the bridge swayed beneath their feet. He stood still for a moment, his eyes locked on Natalia’s. Then he stepped toward her, his blue eyes never leaving her face. The sun chose that moment to peek through the foliage, and his whole face lit up, golden sparks jumping off his red hair. A day’s stubble lined his jawline and a thin sheen of red covered his nose, evidence of four days working outside on the church.

  He stopped just inches from Natalia, bending his head down so she could feel his breath on her face. “No, Natalia. I don’t want to be with the rest of the group.”

  Natalia’s heart beat so fast, she could hear its echoes drumming in her ears, almost feel her blood pumping from her head to her toes. Brian had never looked at her like that. There was no mistaking his meaning, his feelings.

  Natalia wanted to say something, to do something. But she was frozen. She couldn’t move, could barely breathe. Both stood on the bridge, staring at the other.

  Brian groaned and stood up straight, backing up a few steps. “Sorry. Forget that. I’m tired and stressed and not thinking clearly.”

  Brian walked to the end of the bridge, found Natalia’s camera, and returned, dropping the camera into her hands. She resisted the urge to stop him and jump into his arms, tell him she never wanted to forget that moment. But she couldn’t. They were both silent as they made their way back to the group.

  “What took you guys so long?” Lexi’s smile quickly changed to a curious stare. “Um-hmm. And just what happened back there in the rain forest, Juliet?”

  “What?” Natalia’s face h
eated. “We got my camera and came back.”

  “Then why does Brian look all serious? Brian Younger Jr. never looks serious.” Lexi leaned in. “The rain forest would be a great place for a first kiss.”

  “We barely even spoke,” Natalia said, louder than she intended. “And I don’t date. Or kiss. You know that.”

  “I know that’s what you keep saying.” Lexi shrugged, obviously undaunted by Natalia’s arguments. “But your eyes tell me something different.”

  “Please.” Natalia rolled her eyes.

  “‘Please kiss me, Brian.’” Lexi laughed.

  Natalia didn’t want to hear any more. “Which way to the waterfalls?”

  Lexi pointed to her right. “But when it happens, let me just go on record as saying I called it.”

  Natalia walked faster, meeting Spencer at the parapet overlooking the most beautiful waterfall she had ever seen. “Wow.”

  The spray from the falls misted over the pair. “Amazing, right? We sure don’t have anything like this in Tampa.”

  “Or Spain.”

  “I have taken creation for granted, you know?” Spencer’s eyes never left the waterfall. “I used to think of everything as just what we needed or what we could use to make money. But this—it’s just beautiful. God made it to be beautiful.”

  “Like he’s showing off.” Natalia smiled.

  “I’ve always heard people talk about God giving good gifts. But I never thought about what that meant. Now I get it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “This.” Spencer motioned to the waterfall. “This is a good gift. God is showing us that he loves us by creating a world that isn’t just functional. It’s beautiful.”

  “God delights in giving his children good gifts.” Natalia remembered having that conversation with Addy. She was referring to dating. She would, being head over heels in love with Jonathon Jackson. At the time, Natalia didn’t want to think about dating as a good gift. It was a curse she was trying to avoid. But maybe Addy was right.