Kingdom (Avenues Ink Series Book 2)

by A. M. Johnson

  The cold air seeped back through my skin, and I lowered my arms into the water. The warmth soothed the edges of my reality for a few blissed out seconds. It didn’t take long, though, for the water to cool, or for tomorrow’s worries to find their way into my sanctuary. In the morning I’d start my first day at Lifeline Women’s Shelter. My mother’s lawyer was able to have my DUI charge lowered to reckless driving if I agreed to work at the shelter in lieu of community service. They’d lost a few employees this month and were desperate for help. I was the girl who used to be pretty and had nothing but a high school diploma and a bank account that would eventually run dry. I signed the papers and paid the fees, with nothing left to lose.

  There was a small, vain part of me that mourned the loss of the lights, the flash of the camera bulbs, the smell of make-up and hair spray. I missed that quiet awe when I’d walk into the room decked out and ready for a shoot. It was disgusting, and I hoped, even though I was terrified, that working at the shelter might bring some things into perspective. I could’ve died, or worse, killed someone. Working at Lifeline was the least I could do. I was mostly nervous to be around other people. The few times I’ve had to leave the apartment, and even down in Avenues, people stared. They looked at me, their eyes lingering on the large, heavy, purple scar and something in their posture would change. Some would look away, some would pretend it wasn’t there, and others, the sadness in their eyes, I could feel it, and it was hard to take. Since the accident, Liam was the only one who didn’t fake it. His eyes were the only ones that didn’t hold pity. And I was grateful for the silent honesty.

  There was a hard knock on the door and it made me jump.

  “I’m thinking of ordering dinner, maybe from Jade’s. Do you want something?” Liam asked.

  “Sure.”

  I waited for a reply that never came and ignored the needy feeling growing in my chest just at hearing his voice. How is it possible to miss someone so much when they only live a room away? It couldn’t matter I told myself as I stood and drained the tub. I dried off and wrapped the plush white towel around my body and opened the door. After a quick peek to assure the hallway was clear, I limped into my room. I rarely moved without my crutches, but on occasion I’d risk it. Getting in and out of the tub, getting dressed, going up and down stairs, or getting around, in general, had become a daily pain I’d learned to deal with.

  My room was starting to look like maybe I actually lived here. My imprint scattered throughout in scents of lemon and shades of purple. One of the girls I used to work with, Heidi, had taken over my lease back in L.A., and I’d given her the place furnished. The only piece of furniture I’d asked Dante not to sell her was my bed. My boxes arrived bit by bit over the past couple of weeks and my bed a few days ago. Liam didn’t even grumble when I’d asked him if I could switch out his guest bed for my own. Kieran came by the next day and took the bed back to his mom’s. The pale purple down comforter and sheets fit well with the gray paint of the walls and black dresser. I still hadn’t unpacked all of my things, and I was seriously contemplating getting a storage unit for all my damn clothes. The same clothes that reminded me every day what I’d never be again.

  I shut the door and made my way to the bed where I’d laid out some yoga pants and a t-shirt. My new uniform. Actually having to look presentable tomorrow was giving me anxiety. I had an entire box filled with all sorts of make-up: bronzer, blush, foundation, but I knew there was nothing that could conceal my wounds, nothing to truly hide behind. I slipped my shirt over my head and stared at myself in the mirror. It was like Jekyll and Hyde. I was still Kelly Kavanagh on the left, but a monster on the right. I swallowed as I pushed back the thought that maybe all the ugliness inside had just finally made its way to the skin.

  The air in my lungs froze as I moved toward the rental car. If you could even call it a car. Its metal supports had been bent and torn. Its glass shattered, the seats inside contorted, unnatural.

  The tears fell down my face as I looked upon my own death. Or what should have been.

  Liam’s heated palm threaded into mine as I took a step back from the demolished car. I’d come here to gather the few things that had been left behind after the crash, but as the ache in my leg throbbed, and the sting in my stitches pulled, all I could hear was the sound of my own voice screaming above the grinding of metal on metal. The smell of burnt rubber, the feel of cold rain, the sticky flavor of blood. Every sense assaulted me and my knees went weak.

  His voice.

  My name.

  “Kelly.”

  His hand on my cheek.

  My eyes opened and found Liam’s deep brown.

  “You’re alive.”

  A few days after the accident Liam had taken me to the collision car lot to get my stuff, and when I’d seen the damage, what I’d survived, I’d almost fainted. Liam had told me I was whispering frantically that I’d died, and he tried to shake me from the daylight nightmare, but it was only his touch that had gotten through to me.

  There were times he still looked at me like there was something worth saving, like I wasn’t a monster. But as I gazed at my own reflection, all I could see was the girl who ran, the girl who’d broken her prince, the girl who tired of all the promises, and the woman who should’ve died in that crash.

  “You’re alive.”

  I was alive and tomorrow was the first step toward something better.

  It had to be.

  “Nah, I’m not into it tonight.” Liam nodded his chin acknowledging me as I walked into the kitchen. His cell phone pressed to his ear, he watched me as I sat on a barstool and leaned the crutches against the counter. “Maybe… tell Mom I’ll be by tomorrow, same time as last week. See you in the morning.”

  Liam lowered his phone and set it on the countertop.

  “No boy’s night?” I teased as I pulled my hair up into a bun.

  Liam’s eyes swept along the length of my arms before he said, “I’m tired.”

  He went out a lot with Kieran, but always came home early, and I’d hoped he hadn’t come home early on my account.

  “You don’t have to stay here and babysit me.” I peered at him from under my lashes and his eyes narrowed.

  He exhaled an annoyed breath. “I’m tired, Kelly, plain and fucking simple.” He searched my face for a reaction, but my mask hardly slipped anymore. Not after that day in the shop. I couldn’t let him know how much his “almost kiss” had cost me. Wishing for things I shouldn’t, I’d thought I’d left all that behind when I’d moved to California.

  “How’s your mom doing?”

  He exhaled a long, exhausted breath. “I think she’s doing okay. She looks better, but worn the hell out at the same time. You know how she is… always worrying. She told me the other day that coming over during the week to check on her was ‘too hard on me.’” He rolled his eyes. “She acts tough, but I know better.”

  “Sounds familiar, is this tough act genetic?” I teased.

  The muscle in his jaw feathered, but I swore I saw a glimmer of a smirk. “Are you nervous about starting work tomorrow?” he asked, not so subtly changing the subject as he leaned down and rested his forearms on the granite.

  Liam pinned me with his dark stare from across the counter. His hair was disheveled and shorter than when I’d first moved in. The muscles in his arms stretched in colorful waves under all of his ink. The tight cotton of his t-shirt amplified the size of his biceps. He was sin on two legs, sex and sinew, and, oh God, I missed him. I missed him more than I should ever dare to. I missed our easy way, his earthy smell, and his brutal touch.

  “I’m scared,” I whispered, and the sharp line of his jaw relaxed and reduced the tension around his eyes. “People look at me differently. They stare.”

  “Your face has changed, but you’re still beautiful.” I flinched and he chuckled. “Still hate that word?” he asked.

  “You know I do,” I said with a bite he didn’t deserve.

  He pushed off the counte
r and stood with a soft smile. My anger wavered like a waning flame as he moved around the breakfast bar. Liam filled the distance between us, his smile gone. The creases around his eyes dipped and hollowed as he furrowed his brow.

  “It’s just a word. It doesn’t define you. You’ve always been worth way more than that fucking definition.”

  I shook my head, unwilling to bear the weight of his statement and, as I turned my gaze away from his, the doorbell rang. He didn’t budge, and I could feel his eyes and the intensity of his expectations. It was too much.

  “Look at me.” His command stirred the deep and quiet past inside my heart, and I lifted my head. My hands began to shake as he placed his thumb under my chin. “They stare at you because they want to know what happened. The scar on your face, Kelly, it’s real, and it’s devastating, but it’s not you, it’s not all you are, and you fucking know it.”

  A shuddered breath escaped my lips as he dropped his hand and went to answer the door.

  It’s devastating.

  It’s real.

  I rubbed my thumb along the bumpy skin of my cheek, the same place where my father had left his mark time and time again. Liam’s words stifled the panic that had been building in my chest day in and day out since I’d awakened in that hospital bed.

  My father had locked me in the idea that I was nothing more than a smile and a pretty face. But I’d kept myself in that box, held myself captive by the borders I’d set in place. I’d allowed his words to hold me. I’d allowed the strike of his hand to imprison me. The beat of my heart was a drum as I closed my eyes and watched the wasted years fly by. Wishing for a dream, I’d caged myself in and left behind the one thing, the one person who had always held the key to my freedom.

  That car didn’t ruin my face, it cut out the last bit of history my father had left behind.

  The smell of fried rice filled the kitchen as Liam placed the bags on the counter. I observed him in silence as he pulled each container from the bag. He’d bought enough food for him, me, and a small army. I laughed and, as he raised his head, his coffee-colored irises caught the light, glimmering with a bit of gold. Liam’s lips pulled into a lopsided grin.

  “Do you think you got enough?” I asked with my own smile. I wanted to feel like this again. Light and laid-back. I was sick of the barbed wire surrounding us.

  His chuckle warmed my cheeks as he shook his head and started opening the boxes. Ham and fried rice, spring rolls, sweet and sour pork, all my favorites. “What’s all this for?”

  I brought my eyes to his as he ran his hand through his hair and rested it on the back of his neck. “I know what you like.” He shrugged and turned to the fridge. Liam grabbed two beers and set them on the counter, sliding one toward me. “It’s a big day tomorrow, fresh start, right?” He pulled a bottle opener from the drawer, and I watched as he opened mine first and then his own. It shouldn’t be a big deal.

  He wasn’t my father.

  I knew it was my own hang up, but as the bottle caps fell onto the countertop with a lingering tin sound, I couldn’t help that it reminded me of that night, a reminder of how everything had fallen apart. Tomorrow I had the chance to find myself again. It was a new beginning, but not for us.

  The light and comfortable moment had passed, but when he held up his beer, I did the same, my camera-ready smile in place as I said, “To fresh starts.”

  The man couldn’t help the freedom he felt in his chest as the priest prayed at the grave side. He lifted his head at the sound of his mother’s soft sobs, her cheeks were wet, and he wondered if they were tears of joy or tears of pain? He’d given up so much for her, and he’d do it again in a heartbeat. There was no regret. He’d done all he could for his family, to protect them. Even if his mother shed tears for a father, a husband who had almost ruined them all, Liam knew because of all he’d done for them they would never sink. His girlfriend’s hand squeezed his and when he turned his head, Kelly’s hopeful eyes met his. No words were spoken, but he felt her question in his chest.

  Are we free?

  He wanted to nod, to let her know everything would be okay now that his burden was dead. He wanted to offer her the life he’d promised back when they were just teenagers. His eyes fell to his younger brother Declan’s bowed head as the priest rattled on about ashes to ashes and dust to dust, as if his father would go anywhere other than Hell. A waste of breath and words, he thought to himself. The man watched his two younger brothers as they paid their respect, followed the path of tears down the worn flesh of his mother’s cheek, and then drifted, reluctantly, back to the woman he loved. Her bright amber eyes paled as the realization sank in. His father was dead, but the burden still belonged to him.

  She closed her eyes slowly as she lowered her head, and he leaned in, pressing his lips to her cheek. Her lemon scent gave him hope as he whispered so quietly only she could hear, “One day, I’ll give you everything you deserve… I promise.”

  A lone tear fell down his girlfriend’s cheek and she gifted him her gaze as she mouthed the words, I love you.

  Once Upon a Time

  The house felt different as I walked in through the front door hand in hand with Kelly. Maybe it was the anticipation of what I was about to suggest, but I’d like to think that the house had sobered since Pop died two weeks ago. The smell of his sickness was long gone, and every day I’d come home from work, the recovery of his death… his life, it got better. Kelly tugged on my hand, and I smiled at her as she shut the front door. I’d just picked her up from work after I’d left Avenues a little earlier than I was supposed to, but the boss didn’t give a shit anymore, he was losing the place.

  The house was quiet and smelled like gravy and onions as we moved into the family room. Kieran was sitting on the couch watching some game, and Dex was sitting at the dinner table, as usual, with his sketch pad, silent with his head down.

  “Hey.” Kieran waved without looking up.

  “Mom cooking?” I asked and he nodded.

  Kelly let go of my hand and fell into the recliner. It was covered in what was supposed to be brown vinyl, but the chair was so old and worn that most of the damn thing looked tan. Kelly, even in her Handy Mart t-shirt and jeans, looked too fucking regal for that piece of shit chair. I exhaled a nervous breath as I thought about everything I had to say today, what I wanted to propose. I was jumping off the cliff face first and, if I didn’t land on my feet, everyone—my family, Kelly—they’d shatter with me.

  “Hey, honey,” my mom said as she entered the room. Her tired smile did little to ease the nauseous fear brewing in my gut.

  “Have a seat.” I motioned to the couch and she sat down with a long sigh. Kelly’s brows knitted together as I called out to Dex, “Little brother, get your damn nose out of that sketch book, I need to talk to everyone.”

  Kieran shut off the game and my mom stared at me. The tension in the room coated my palms in sweat as Declan leaned against the family room wall. I moved toward Kelly and stood next to her chair. My damn hands started to shake so I shoved them into my pockets as everyone’s eyes cut through me. I’d always been the “man” of the house, but now that Pop was finally rotting in the ground, the title felt more real somehow.

  My mouth felt like a desert as I said, “Avenues is going bankrupt.”

  Declan’s eyes found me across the room and filled with a weary knowledge that shadowed his stare. My mother’s quiet gasp dropped the weight of the future down onto my shoulders.

  “Liam, you—”

  “Wait.” I cut Kelly off and she pressed her lips together and sat on the edge of the chair. I hadn’t meant to be so abrupt. But, after what I was about to say, I’d have more to apologize for than being a prick. “I want to buy it.”

  “Avenues?” Kieran’s smile spread wide across his face. “Are you serious?”

  I nodded and brought my eyes to Dex. “We could do it, all of us. I’ve saved a shit load of money, and my boss is practically giving it away. A family business. It e
ven has an apartment above the shop. We could remodel everything, give it a new look, make it our own.”

  I lacked the courage, the spine, to look at Kelly. I wasn’t ready to see her expression. My mother’s eyes filled with tears as Declan pushed off the wall and sat on the arm of the sofa next to her.

  “Dex, I could teach you, you could learn like I did, your talent… and my experience. This could be a real empire.”

  Declan’s eyes slowly brightened and, as he smiled, the pressure in my chest lifted. “I’m in,” he said, and when I looked at Kieran, the kid’s face told me all I needed to know. He was in, too.

  “I’ve got school, but I could help with the renovation before I have to start seminary,” Kieran offered.

  “It’s a lot of work… but I think if anyone could do this, it’s you, Liam.” My mother’s smile was proud, and I couldn’t help but stand a little fucking taller.

  “I still have to talk to my boss, but I think… I know we can do this.” Kelly’s silence was the calm before the storm and it made my heart pound harder as I finally lowered my gaze to hers. Her eyes were glassy as I asked, “What do you think?”

  Her nostrils flared as she swallowed, her chest rising and falling in quick little breaths. She was holding it in, the anger, all my broken promises. “If it’s what you want, Liam, you should do it.” She wouldn’t look at me, her eyes fixed to the dingy carpet.

  Kelly’s broken dream of moving to California wet her lashes, and I was the bastard holding her hostage. I couldn’t leave. I was my family’s support, and if I did this, we could build a life together, and she wouldn’t have to move to get away from her dad. I could be her home.