* * *
Freya
* * *
She was roused by the smell, sweet and warm, and coming from inside her cabin. Memories of the night before brought a smile to her face. Rolling over, she stretched her arm out across the bed, only to find it empty.
“I thought you might be hungry.”
Blinking, she twisted around to see Michael on the other side of the cabin in the kitchen area. In his hand was a frying pan she didn’t even know she owned.
“I made breakfast,” he said, with a grin.
Butterflies swarmed once more. No one had ever done that for her. Not in a situation like this, anyway.
“I should probably ring Jessop today,” he said, bringing over a plate stacked with pancakes. “See how he and your mother are getting on with the others.”
“Thank you,” she said, taking one from the top. “And what are you going to tell him about how you’re getting on here?”
“Well.” He bit down on the corner of his lip. “I think I’ll say that I’ve been building an excellent relationship between Blackwatch and the pack.”
“You have, have you?”
“I believe I have. I think I’ve really started to understand their needs.”
“Oh, I think you are managing that.”
“I mean, I’m fairly sure that, with a little more time, we can make an extremely satisfying partnership.”
He was leaning over her, grinning. The warmth that had been spreading through her was now a full-blown heat, causing her heart to thump against her ribs.
“You think I’m satisfied with this situation, do you?” she asked, trying to disguise the breathiness that was creeping into her voice.
“If you’re not, then that’s something I feel I should rectify straight away.”
He took the pancake back from her, and placed the plate on the bedside table.
“Hey, I was going to eat that. They’ll get cold,” she protested.
“I can cook more.”
* * *
Michael
* * *
On a professional level, he’d been screwed from the first, well, screw. There was no backing out now. Besides, he was certain Freya wasn’t going to say anything. While he may not yet know as much about pack dynamics as he’d planned to, he felt he’d got a pretty good feel for her. If need be, he’d ask her to just write down a list of facts he could pass on to Jessop.
“I was thinking,” he said, stroking her arm as he spoke. “There seem to be more women in the pack than men.”
“There are.”
“Why is that?”
“You really know nothing about werewolf genealogy, do you?” The words weren’t said maliciously, but she looked perplexed.
“I studied the files at Blackwatch. I know some stuff, like about the telepathy.”
“Wow, you’ve read loads.”
“That’s why I’m here, remember. I was meant to see more of the compound than just your bedroom.”
She smiled.
“So, back to the women. Why were more out there than men, when you all came to greet us?”
* * *
Freya
* * *
Freya took a deep breath. The subject was a touchy one for the women of the pack, but that couldn’t be helped. Her mother wanted him to learn about them, and it wasn’t like it was something they could change, even if it was something no one wanted to shout about. In a nutshell, women were the alphas, the strongest, the most feared of all the wolves. And the men got the easier ride.
“The werewolf gene is passed down through the mother, whether she’s transformed or not,” she started. “Any child she has will have the werewolf gene and there’s nothing she can do about it.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning that if a woman gets pregnant, then it’s there. It doesn’t matter whether she has a boy or a girl, that baby’s got werewolf in it.”
“But it doesn’t mean she’s more likely to have a girl?”
“No.”
“So why are there less males?”
Such a clueless man.
“Because men can leave. They can make the decision not to go through with the ceremony and remain human. They can go away and start regular families. They don’t carry the gene. Their children on the outside will be normal. But if a woman leaves, pretends to be normal and starts a family …”
“But you said there’s a ceremony. The wolf gene needs to be activated, right. It can’t just happen by accident, can it? She could still live a normal, human life.”
His naivety was somehow heart-warming, and heart wrenching at the same time. It ran deep, as if optimism was ingrained in him.
“How many vampires are there out there now?” She tried coming at it from a different angle.
“Vampires? Why?”
“Because vampires are what activate the gene. We need to be scratched by a vampire.”
“You do?” His jaw hung open.
Clearly this was yet another piece of information his precious Blackwatch had skipped telling him. Given that they were meant to keep tabs on the vampire population, it didn’t feel like they could be doing such a great job. Still, she didn’t want to labour the point. Blackwatch problems were his to deal with. She already had enough of her own.
“Any female who leaves the pack, does so with the risk that she, or any of her children, could become activated on the outside.”
It took a moment for a reply to come.
“Just because there are vampires, doesn’t mean they go around scratching people.”
“Oh, I know, the whole vampires-can-be-good-guys line. And, from what you’ve told me, I believe they can be. Some. But that doesn’t mean they don’t ever lose control. All of us do, from time to time. But the difference is, if that happens to a vampire, and the person they’re angry with has the werewolf gene, then, in one slip, their whole life would be turned upside down. If you knew you had the gene, maybe you could be extra careful but, if you didn’t… Any female who tries to make a life outside the pack has to shoulder that burden for her whole life. And we’re not just talking about her, but her children and grandchildren and their children, and so on, on the female side. Any could fall victim, just because she wanted to break free. Can you imagine what that would do to you? What that responsibility would be like? That’s why there are more women in the pack, because men can escape but, no matter what we do, activated or not, we women are trapped. So, we might as well be trapped here, as werewolves.”
The enormity of what she had told him, slowly dawned on his face and the silence that followed was not a comfortable one. He straightened his back, sitting up in the bed, shifting away from her. It was a reaction she knew all too well. Rejection.
Anger now burned in her chest. She was stupid. - Stupid for thinking that, with her mother gone, she could let her guard down. Swallowing back tears she had no intention of allowing to fall, she swung her legs over the side of the bed, when Michael caught her by the hand.
“Come with me,” he said. “We can leave. Now. You can escape all this. Please, Freya. Do this. Run away with me.”
Chapter Eleven
Michael
He didn’t know where the words had come from and, by the look of shock on her face, it may not have been the wisest thing to say, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to take them back.
“You can have a life, Freya. Whatever life you want. You are not bound to the pack.”
“My mother is the Alpha,” she replied, as if that was the only answer that was needed.
“And I’m part of Blackwatch. We keep vampires hidden, remember. One more woman would be nothing.”
She arched an eyebrow as she huffed. “And Blackwatch would be willing to hide me?” Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he tilted her chin to face him.
“Blackwatch wouldn’t need to know anything about you. It would just be me. I’d take a job in the sticks, North Wales or somewhere there’s plenty of forest. You cou
ld still be a wolf, if you wanted to. Or not. Not at all. Or we could live in a city. Whatever you wanted. But you don’t have to stay here. You don’t have to feel like this is your only choice. It’s not. You don’t have to be the Alpha and you don’t have to stay in the pack. You have a choice here, Freya.”
This time he didn’t move to wipe away her tears. He knew that the fact they were falling was probably causing her enough distress.
“You don’t know,” she said, her voice half whisper, half croak.
“I don’t know what?”
“You don’t know what I’ve done.”
* * *
Freya
* * *
It was the kind thing to do. The best way to break it off. Once he knew what she’d done, he’d be gone. Out the door without a second glance, thanking his lucky stars for his escape.
“Whatever you’ve done. Whatever the pack made you do; it doesn’t change how I feel about you, Freya.”
She laughed bitterly. He’d asked for it.
“There was a wolf,” she started. “A woman. She’d grown up in the compound. It was the only life she’d ever known, just like me, although she was a couple of years older than I am now.” Was. The word echoed in her head. Past tense. There was no coming back from that.
“So, what happened?’ he asked.
“She was smart, beautiful, fun. She was amazing. An incredible wolf. Then it happened. She met someone. She fell in love.”
“You’re not allowed to fall in love? I don’t understand. I thought I saw people here on that first night. Couples. They seemed close.”
“Oh, they are.” Pressing her lips together, she tried to find a way to word something she had spent her whole life trying to get her head around.
“We can’t transform people into werewolves. It’s not like being a vampire; you either have the werewolf gene or you don’t. All this nonsense you see in films. It’s just not true.”
“What does this have to do with the woman?”
“I’m getting there.” She nodded slowly, reassuring herself as much as him. “I said before women got the short straw, right? We have two options: you fall in love with someone in the pack, or you decide not to transform. You don’t get to do both.”
“So, this werewolf, she fell in love outside the pack?”
“She’d been meeting someone, a hiker. She’d was in the woods one day and this woman was there. They got talking and one thing led to another. After that they continued to meet in secret.”
“What happened?”
“What always happens when a problem arises in the pack. It was dealt with.”
From outside, came the howl of a single wolf, causing a shiver to run through her. Chrissy. She would recognise that howl anywhere. She was probably wondering why she hadn’t seen Freya for so long. Or the Blackwatch guy for that matter.
“Her name was Jessica. Her parents are still in the pack. Even after everything. Maybe it would have been better if she had come clean, but she didn’t. She tried to hide it from us, from my mother and, for a while, she succeeded.”
“I thought that wasn’t possible? I thought every werewolf was connected to the pack and to the Alpha?”
The colour had drained from his cheeks and she could tell he already suspected where this story was leading. But he didn’t know all of it. And she needed to tell him.
“That’s what the others choose to think. It’s understandable. I guess the truth would scare them too much.”
“Why, what would the truth be?”
“That only a wolf who is stronger than the Alpha would be able to block her out permanently. And a wolf that is stronger than the Alpha is a threat to the whole pack.”
She watched as goose bumps spread across his bare arms.
“So, this wolf, Jessica, the one you, you —”
“The one we hunted.”
“Hunted?”
“One night, her girlfriend brought a truck, and met her on the edge of the forest. They ran away together. She knew what she was. We were all at risk.”
“So how did you find them? Did Jessica turn back to a wolf?”
“Just the once. But that was enough. My mother locked onto her. Ordered her to stay as she was, so we could hunt her down. But Jessica fought it. It’s probably the biggest testament to love I’ve ever known. The fact she fought my mother’s command, so that she could transform back and tell her lover to run.”
“And what happened?”
“What happened?”
As she approached the end of her story, Freya was surprised to find herself calmer than she would have expected. Maybe it was Michael’s presence. Or perhaps she was finally making her peace with what had happened. No. That would never happen.
“It took everything she had, all her strength, to block us out for just a few hours. By the time we caught up with her, she was no threat to anyone. Fighting off my mother’s call had nearly killed her.”
“So, what did you do?”
From outside, voices rose and several howls punctured the quiet. A midday run. How had so much of the day gone already? In the quiet, Michael’s question remained hanging in the air. He didn’t need an answer. She could see it on his face - he already knew.
“It wasn’t the whole pack. Just my mother and Whipper. And me. We were the ones who hunted them down. I was tasked with them both; Jessica and the woman she had fallen in love with. I managed the wolf. My mother had forced her to transform back again, so that when I … when she was killed, it was wolf on wolf. But the human … I couldn’t manage the human. She had done nothing wrong, except fall in love. She was terrified. And she wouldn’t have told anyone about us. I know she wouldn’t. So, I couldn’t do it. And Whipper … well, forget all that for the good of the pack, bullshit. It was cold-blooded, calculated butchery, plain and simple. I think that’s maybe why I can block her out. She’s not a beta to me any more. She’s nothing more than a murderer.”
“What happened after that?”
“After that, I stayed human for a year. More maybe. I don’t remember now. I lost track of the time. I just knew I couldn’t transform again. Into that monster.”
Her head was against his chest. She hadn’t noticed when this had happened, when she had slipped into his arms, and pushed herself against his skin, but she needed it so much. His warmth. His strength.
“So why did you ever change back? Why didn’t you just stay human? Start a new life outside the pack?”
“Where? With whom? I was fourteen. I was a screw up. And I’d taken the exact same vows as Jessica. I wasn’t going to put myself through what we did to her. You know people say that images fade with time, that you forget stuff. But that only happens with the good things. Not the bad. I remember every single second of it. That’s why I can’t be the Alpha and make those decisions. I won’t. So, I’m trapped. And now, I think I’ve done the same thing as Jessica. I think I’ve fallen for someone outside the pack. And I don’t know how we’re going to solve this.”
Chapter Twelve
Freya
There was no way anyone could find out. They could have their suspicions, of course, but Freya letting anything slip, even to Chrissy, would make the knowledge accessible to the whole pack. It was enough having Michael putting himself in such danger. She couldn’t do the same to Chrissy, too. So, they spent the rest of the afternoon putting together as crude and rudimentary a plan as she had ever known.
First thing on the list, was for Michael to ring Jessop. When he learned that he and Lena were planning on spending one more day with the South Pack, that left them two days to get themselves sorted. The main problem was transport. If she left stowed away in the boot of Michael and Jessop’s car, her mother would likely join the dots together almost immediately. The last thing she needed to do was draw her a complete map. If she ran away as a wolf, they would smell her. The same applied to going on foot as a human. So, what they needed was a way to leave separately and mask her scent from the other wolves.
“It will work. You can say we’ve spent the last two days going over the fundamentals. History. The splitting off of the South Pack. Hierarchy. The ceremony. There are books I can get you, to read up on tonight, which will help. Then the next two days, you’ll spend with the pack. I’ll appoint Chrissy as your guide, to take you around the different families. I’ll say I need to do some proper running. That I’m fed up being tied to you the whole time.”
“You want me to tie you up? That’s not something I’m normally into, but hey, I’ll give it a go.” He grinned, his eyes glinting with mischief. As much as she wanted to reciprocate, she couldn’t. There was too much at stake. Still, she appreciated his attempt to lighten the mood.
“I’ll have to walk the bags up tonight,” she continued, talking half to herself and half to Michael. “Carrying things as wolves never works well. I must make sure I’m not spotted though.”
“Can I help with that?”
“Maybe.”
“Then tomorrow, I’ll go as a wolf. They need to be able to trace my scent into the forest. There’s this place. A ravine. We lost a wolf there a couple of years ago, when he decided to change after a drinking session. It’s pretty dangerous. I’ll go there. Then I’ll need to cover my scent. There are some good flowers I could try. It’s not going to be perfect, but better than nothing. Then it’ll be a full day walking, as a human. I should be able to hit thirty miles, easily.” Thinking about it a bit more, she lowered her estimate. “Let’s say twenty.” Rising, she moved across to the shelves, from where she pulled down a map and came back and spread it out on the bed. Her eyes searched for a location that would work.
Falling for Shifters: A Limited Edition Autumn Shifters Collection Page 101