Just before he arrived at the counter, the man looked at me and his eyes widened. Just before he spoke, it finally dawned on me who it was. The woman was still at the entrance, fussing over a shopping bag that had spilled.
“Chrissy, is that you?” asked the man as he shifted his toddler to another arm.
“Shane! God, I haven’t seen you in like, ages!” I squealed. I had to admit, I still have a crush on Shane, even though he turned out to be a real creep. It was all part of that summer of strangeness that seemed so long ago.
“Really! After Lisa and I got married, we moved to Bloomfield where I took over managing my uncle’s used car lot.” Shane set his toddler down on the counter and looked me up and down with those very blue eyes of his. What can I say? I’m a sucker for blue eyes. Continuing, Shane said, “We’ve been in town the past few days for the holidays. We’ve been to a movie each day we’ve been here, but this is the first time I’ve seen you here.”
I laughed as I said, “I just started today. Wow, you and Lisa have been married for three years. Is this your little boy?” Still at the entrance, I saw Lisa frown in our direction. She was more than just pregnant I noticed. She was about fifty pounds heavier as well.
“Yes, this is Josh. Say ‘hi’ Josh.” Shane shook one of Josh’s arms. He looked at me and said, “Hey, I see you’re wearing the earrings I bought you!”
Unconsciously, I lifted a hand and felt one of my earrings and smiled, “Yes. They’re my favorites!”
Shane leaned in and said, “No offense, but why are you working here? Isn’t this mostly a high schooler’s job?” Denise shot Shane a deadly glance, but he didn’t even notice.
Lisa started walking towards us as I said, “Well, Shane, I’m still in high school.”
Before Shane could say anything, Lisa said, “Must you flirt with every teen tart you see?” I don’t think she recognized me. With a twinge of acid in her voice, she said, setting her bags down, “Watch our stuff. I gotta take a piss.”
He watched her go into the restroom. Shane turned to me and with a confused look, asked, “What do you mean you’re still in school? Weren’t you a high school cheerleader when we dated that one summer?” Holly was trying very hard to look like she wasn’t listening.
I could feel my cheeks getting warm as I started flushing bright red. I looked down at my feet for a moment before letting out an embarrassed laugh. Finally, I looked up and said, “Well, ah, Shane, I ... well... I lied. I was fourteen when we dated.” And a boy.
Shane’s face screwed up as he blurted, “Fourteen! Why did you do that to me? You were just a kid. I could have gone to jail!” Holly was no longer trying to hide the fact that she was listening. Even Denise turned around.
I turned to look at Holly and said, “We didn’t do anything. Honest!” Holly’s expression indicated her opinion was, “Yeah, right!” Turning back to Shane I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just trying to have some fun.”
Shane looked off to the side as he said, “I’m sorry, but that really pisses me off. Did what’s his name, Fred ...?”
“You mean Eddie?”
“Yeah, that dork. Did Ed know your age?” Shane asked.
“Of course he did. I’ve known him since I was a little bo... uh... little girl.” I said, as I felt my cheeks starting to turn red again.
Shane laughed as he said, “That doesn’t surprise me, the little dickweed.” He dug out his wallet, and as he moved over to Denise’s cash-register, he said, “This has certainly been an enlightening little conversation.”
Denise glanced over to me and said, “It certainly has.” Turning to Shane, she asked, “Can I help you sir?”
After getting a tub of popcorn and some gummy bears, as he was turning to leave for one of the auditoriums, he said to me, “These days, I hope you’re more honest to your boyfriends.” I don’t have to, I thought. Jeff already knows I’m a boy.
I didn’t say anything. I just watched Shane walk away with Lisa and their son, then stared into space. I could hear Lisa bitching at Shane as they went around the corner.
Holly whispered to Denise, “Looks like we have a girl with a checkered past, huh?” She looked at me and laughed.
I reached up and took my off my earrings. I started to toss them in the trash, then thought better of it and just put them in my purse. I picked up a rag and cleaned the counter top.
* * *
I walked slowly down the empty hall towards the exit, the rustling of my jacket the only sound. I’d stayed late at school for a short cheerleader meeting in Coach Renwick’s office. The meeting had been the highlight of the first day back at school after a week-long holiday. It was sure hard to get back into the groove.
Actually, getting back to school was a nice break from the weekend. Jeff had been a real bear because I had to work Saturday night and we couldn’t go out. Then, Gwen had me work a double shift on Sunday. I was exhausted.
As I pushed the exit door open, I was greeted by a blast of icy cold and the beautiful sight of snow cascading down from the sky. The snow had started falling shortly after lunch, but already the campus was under a blanket of white. I tried to look down the street past the parking lot, but it was obscured by the falling snow. I was going to have to walk home in this, but I didn’t mind.
As I crossed the parking lot, a voice called out from one of the few remaining cars, “Hey girl, what are you doing out there in the cold?” I looked over at the BMW and saw Joey Saotome leaning out his rolled down car window.
“Hey Joey!” I called, as I changed direction and started walking towards his idling car. “What’s up?”
“I was goofing around in the computer lab for a while. I was about to leave, but I spotted you walking home. Don’t you have a car?” He got out of his car with a scraper in his hand and proceeded to clear his windshield.
“Nope. It’s only a fifteen minute walk. I could be halfway home before you get your heater running and your windows cleared,” I smiled as Joey chipped away at the layer of ice on the windshield.
Grunting, he said, “Nah. This will just take a sec. Want a lift?”
I thought for a few seconds, “Sure, okay. Thanks.”
Joey nodded as he started scraping the back window, then said, “Really though, I probably should walk and let you drive.”
Puzzled, I asked, “Why is that, Joey?”
Joey stopped scraping and looked back at me and said, “To get used to the cold. Dad is taking us back to his home for the Christmas break. I’m taking an extra week off from school.”
Surprised, I asked, “Oh, really? All the way to Japan?” Joey’s mom had been in the Air Force, stationed at Misawa, in northern Japan. His dad had been a local doctor there and they started dating. After her tour was up, she stayed in Japan and they got married. After Joey was born, they moved to the states.
The windows being cleared, we climbed into Joey’s Beemer. It only had two seats. As he eased the car into motion, I turned to Joey and asked, “By the way, how come you haven’t invited me to any LAN parties lately? I miss getting together with the guys and playing some games.”
Joey shrugged and said, “Didn’t you get my emails? After the third one, I stopped sending them because I figured you were just too busy with your boyfriend to bother playing games anymore.”
Slapping my forehead I said, “Jeez! That’s right. I haven’t even turned on my computer very much for a couple of months! I’m sorry. I’d thought you’d quit telling me about the LAN parties because I was a girl.”
Joey snorted as he said, “Are you kidding? We’d love to have a girl there. Even a fake one!” He flashed me a toothy grin.
“I guess I’ll start checking my email and my old Facebook account more often,” I said sheepishly.
We drove on for a few minutes in silence. The car crunched to a stop on the snow covered road in front of my house.
“Here we are!” Joey announced.
I just sat there for a few momen
ts, staring out the window at my snow covered house. I faced Joey and said, “You’re a smart guy and we’ve known each other for a long time. Can I ask you something?”
He frowned and said, “Uh oh.” Then, he shrugged and continued, “Well, you can always ask. I don’t know if I can give you an answer or not.”
I bit my lip. Slowly I asked, “Do you think I’m crazy? I...”
“Compared to what?” Joey smirked. “Sorry...”
“What do you think of what I’m doing? Being a girl?” I asked.
Shaking his head, Joey said, “Tell me what you think, first.”
“Well,” I paused, looking at the falling snow for a second. “Well, to be totally honest, I like being a girl. I like the tangible stuff, what you see and feel, like the clothes and make-up and how I wear my hair. And more, I like the intangibles, the friends I have now, the way I feel... the way... the way I feel about Jeff. It’s mostly hard to explain.”
Joey sat up and scratched his head and said, “I’ll be honest with you Chris. There’s no way in hell I’d want to be a girl. You couldn’t pay me enough. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not being critical of girls. I love them. I just can’t imagine wanting to be one.”
I looked down at the floorboard and said quietly, “So, I am crazy.”
Joey leaned close to me and said, “Chris, I didn’t say that. I’m glad I’m a guy. I wouldn’t want to have to put up with all that stuff you have to do, like make-up, fussing with your hair and all. Most guys just never even think about being a girl. Hell, most guys would look pretty stupid even trying. But you... well being a girl fits you. I don’t care what your chromosomes say, Chrissy, even to me now, you’re a girl. I don’t even know why you’re concerning yourself over it.”
Pulling strands of hair away from my face I said, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I think too much. Still...”
“Something else besides being a totally gorgeous babe is bothering you. What is it?” Joey probed.
“I’m not sure if I can put my feelings into words,” I said looking back at the floorboard. “I spent Thanksgiving Day at Jeff’s. I was looking forward to it so much. I know this sounds weird, but I really love Jeff… a lot.” I paused, but Joey made no response. “I was dreaming of spending the whole day cuddling with him by the fire. But you know what? I spent the whole day bringing him and his dad drinks and snacks, while helping prepare dinner. Then, I spent the whole evening cleaning up. I hardly saw Jeff at all. Ever since we said we loved each other, he’s been kinda taking advantage of me.”
Joey just smiled and said, “Congrats. You’re officially a girl.”
I stuck my tongue out at him, “That’s not funny... mainly because it’s kinda true. All my girlfriends complain about how their guys ignore them when their friends are around and expect them to wait on them.”
Joey looked thoughtful for a few moments. Then he said, “You know, Chrissy, when you think back to when we were kids, it kinda makes me wonder if, deep down, you haven’t been a girl all your life. You just weren’t aware of it.”
I wrinkled my nose and said, “Now you’re the one who’s crazy. I didn’t dress or act girly as a kid.”
Shifting his position in his car seat, Joey said, “You sure? You never joined the rest of us when we started playing rough-house. I seem to remember most of your friends were girls. You wouldn’t have played sports at all if your dad hadn’t made you play Little League. Yep, I’ve watched enough talk shows on television to say I think that, at your core, you’re a girl.”
* * *
That night as I lay in my canopy bed, wearing my nice warm nightgown, I thought about what Joey had suggested. I don’t know what he was talking about. I know my own mind. I know I’d never felt that I was a girl inside. True, I like being a girl now, but I know it won’t be forever. Nope, I was just going to have to prove Joey was wrong.
* * *
Chapter 4
“So, have you and Jeff had sex yet?” asked Gwen as she shoved some boxes under the snack bar counter.
Looking down at her in shocked disbelief and in a whispered ‘yell’ said, “What did you just say?!”
Brushing her hands together as she stood, Gwen repeated, “I asked you if you and your man have had sex.”
Folding my arms and trying to look miffed, I said, “I can’t believe you just asked me such a thing!”
Leaning on the counter, drumming the fingers of one hand Gwen frowned, “Well...?”
“Well what?”
Giving me a ‘get on with it’ gesture, Gwen said, “Well, do you plan on answering?”
I pulled an employee handbook out from a drawer and started thumbing through it. Without looking up from the book, I said, “Doesn’t this constitute sexual harassment?”
Turning away, Gwen said, “I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”
I looked at the book for a few more seconds before returning it to the drawer. I looked over at Gwen and said, “You’re right. It’s a no. Do you always make a habit of delving into the sex lives of your employees?”
Gwen turned sharply and snapped, “Only for the monsters I create!” Softening, she added, “Honestly, Chrissy, I’m concerned about you. I’m concerned about the direction your life is going because of me. You didn’t see me, but I saw when Jeff was here just 10 minutes ago. The way you two were kissing, I thought I was going to see you start ripping each other’s clothes off!”
I smiled sheepishly as I remembered Jeff stopping by on his way home from the shoe store, “So, I love kissing my boyfriend. Is that a crime?”
Gwen laughed and said, “In some states, it could be.” She paused for a moment. She went on, “So, if you two really love each other as much as it appears you do, and if you both see yourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend, well, then, what’s stopping you?”
I studied my hands for a few moments before quietly saying, “At least two reasons. Maybe more.” I paused a second, then I started to say, “I... well...” I looked at my feet for a few moments before continuing. “One reason, if you must know, I don’t know if I really want to have sex with Jeff — or with any boy.” I stopped, and thought a moment, then added, “Maybe I mean that I want Jeff as a girl would. Not as a guy. Which kinda leads us to the second reason.”
Gwen held up a hand, “Chrissy, I was mostly just teasing you. I wasn’t trying to upset you!”
I shook my head, “No. No, it’s okay. You asked; I’ll tell you. The second reason is that Jeff told me that he never, ever wants to see me naked. He was very serious. He said he was totally in love with a girl named Chrissy, but he feels that if he sees my privates, it’ll completely shatter his illusion.”
The sudden image of a moon-lit night on the grassy shores of Springer Lake from several years ago popped into my head. With a shudder, I pushed the thought from my mind.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to start anything.” Gwen then laughed under her breath and said, “Hell, I created you, and now I can only think of you as a girl.”
Wanting to change the subject I quickly added, “Well, this time tomorrow I won’t be a girl! Right after school, I go into boy mode for our trip to see Diane’s graduation. Don’t forget I’m not scheduled for Friday through Sunday.”
Looking slightly relieved, Gwen said, “Oh, that’s right. Give Diane my love and kick her in the butt for me, just for general principals.” She then looked over her shoulder and turned back to me, “Oh, better pop another load of popcorn. The last features start in about thirty minutes. Did you invite any friends to the preview?”
I shook my head. Every Thursday night when a new release was to start on Friday, the film was previewed after midnight to make sure we had spliced all the reels together correctly and to make sure there was nothing wrong with the film. We could invite a couple of friends to see the preview for free. The problem was, it was always on a school night and usually meant people didn’t make it home until after three thirty in the A.M.
“Okay, then when the preview sta
rts, you’re free to go. Make sure cleaning crew is inside before you lock the doors. Travis will be in charge, but he’ll be busy with the projector. Have a good trip!” With that, Gwen straightened up a few items on the counter, locked her office and left for the night.
It had been a very slow night and about fifteen minutes after the last feature kicked off, I had to make another run through the women’s restroom. Hopefully, since it had been a quiet night, there wouldn’t be much to do.
* * *
The Reluctant Sister (Reluctant Series Book 3) Page 5