With towels and spray bottle in hand, I entered the inner sanctum of the female world, aka the ladies room.
I was surprised to see a girl in an ankle-length dress, standing in front of the mirror, fiddling around with her hair. I didn’t think anyone was inside when I first opened the door. I could see her eyes following me as I went from stall to stall. It started to creep me out, as I could see she was nervous about something and she watched me like a hawk.
There was something familiar about her, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. As I wiped the counter top, I smiled pleasantly at her and hoped she wasn’t about to knife me or something. She smiled back slightly. I was pretty sure I’d seen her someplace. Since she looked like a teen, I’d probably seen her at school.
I turned to her and said, “Hi. I was just curious; do you go to JWB High?”
She turned and nodded, and started to look pretty nervous. She was obviously not comfortable talking to me, so I decided against trying to strike up a conversation with her. I looked at her square in the face for a moment just before I turned to leave the restroom. Something didn’t seem right about her. Her hair wasn’t on quite straight and she didn’t do a very good job with her make-up. I took two steps toward the door before it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Suddenly, I turned back towards her. I could see my surprised expression in the mirror’s reflection. She took a step back from me as I blurted, “You’re a guy!”
Looking horrified, she said in an oddly pitched voice, “What are you talking about? I’m a girl! Really.”
“I know you!” I said accusingly. “You’re that Danny... Danny what’s-his-face in my Algebra class.”
Danny just stood there, shaking his head, looking really scared. He took a step towards me, tears welling up in his eyes as he pleaded, “You’re not going to tell anyone are you? Please don’t tell... please!”
Now feeling ashamed at blowing his cover, I hastily said, “Hey, it’s okay! I won’t tell anybody. I promise!”
He seemed to relax somewhat. He rubbed his eye, smearing his mascara. “I... I guess I can trust you, Chrissy. Everyone is always saying how nice you are.”
I smiled reassuringly at him and said, “I’m sorry that I reacted that way. It just shocked me when I realized who you really were.” There was an awkward pause. I added, “I just gotta ask though. Why are you dressed like a girl?”
Danny looked down at his dress and laughed nervously, “You know, I’m not really sure myself. Ever since I can remember, I’ve had this overwhelming desire to dress like a girl. I know you think it’s weird, but I really love wearing girls’ clothes.”
“Well, I guess I just have trouble understanding how a guy could possibly want to dress up like a girl,” I lied.
“I’ve tried to stop several times,” admitted Danny. “More than once I’ve thrown out all my pretty girl things, swearing Never Again!” He let out a quick, breathy laugh and said, “But it just doesn’t stick. I always find myself drawn to dressing again.”
Curious, since his choice of clothes was his own, and not for the benefit of others like my situation, I pressed, “Yeah, but why? You’re a guy!”
He frowned as he said, “Not all of us are masculine stud-muffins. Sometimes you just feel like you have to be feminine. I don’t want to become a girl. I certainly don’t want to date guys, and I like being a guy. I just like being girly sometimes, too.” He paused for a moment and shook his head. “You know, it just isn’t fair!”
“What’s not fair?” I asked. “That you were born a boy?”
“That I just can’t dress any old way I want to!” he said with obvious frustration. Pointing at me he said, “Let’s take you for example. I don’t know what prompted you to start dressing more feminine, but nobody ever bothered you during your tomboy phase.”
I frowned and said, “Nobody noticed me, either.”
Danny sat on the counter’s edge and said, “That may be, but they didn’t try to beat you up, call you names or make fun of you. If you come to school wearing a boy’s shirt, it’s just fashion. Can you imagine what would happen if I came to school in skirt? Or even just a blouse?”
I breathed a short laugh, “Yeah that would probably cause quite a stir.” The only stir I caused when I came to school in girl’s clothes was for people who lost bets on what sex I was.
Danny continued, “Just think of all the things you can wear that I can’t just because of some arbitrary decision of society. You can wear make-up, or not. You can wear your hair in a feminine or a boyish style. You can wear a dress or pants. You can wear pretty earrings or not. Nobody cares what you wear, but unless I want to have a living hell, I can only wear a very narrow range of clothes. If I wear a dress and play with dolls, I’m a fag, a sissy. If you wear pants and play sports, you’re just a tomboy. It’s okay for you to act like a guy.”
I paused a moment then said, “I’m sorry Danny. I had no idea. Life is hard enough without having that extra burden.”
Danny’s face reddened as he said, “I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to bitch so much.” He paused, then briefly touched my hand and continued, “I’ve been waiting for so long to tell someone. You’ve been very nice to listen to me.”
I smiled at him and said, “Hey, I’m a good listener.” A sudden though occurred to me as I asked, “Do you have a girl name?”
He answered, “I keep it the same, only I’d spell it D-A-N-I.”
I glanced at my watch and said, “Well, Dani, I have to lock up. Some folks should be arriving soon for the preview, so you might not want to hang around. Listen, you’re secret is safe with me.”
“Thank you, Chrissy,” Dani said. “I appreciate it. Maybe you can give me some beauty tips some time?”
“Sure! See ya.” I left the restroom feeling very strange.
* * *
“Hey girlfriend!” called a friendly voice from behind. I turned, and saw Mandy smiling as she hurried up the school hallway to catch up to me.
“Hi Mandy! Hey are you sure it’s okay if I miss the basketball game Saturday?” I said to her after she stepped up beside me.
“Don’t even like, think about it!” she said. “You don’t want to miss your sister’s graduation. This is the first event you’ve missed since you joined the squad.”
As we walked, I saw Danny pass by going the other way. He saw me, looked embarrassed and quickly turned away and passed by without saying anything.
We stopped at the intersection since we were about to go in opposite directions. Mandy pulled me to one side and asked in a low voice, “Does your sister even know about... well... you?”
Shaking my head I said, “Actually no. Mom and Dad never wanted to mention it. I almost never write to her, and I wasn’t going to mention it.” As far as I know, Gwen never told her either.
“Wow. She’s in for quite a shock. She won’t spill the beans, will she?” asked Mandy with a worried tone.
“I don’t think so. She can be a mean little biatch, but she’s not stupid.” I hope.
Mandy looked at her watch then said, “I gotta jet, but what I wanted to ask you... I’ve got like, a bunch of magazines I’ve already read that I thought you might get something out of. They’re old ‘Teen, Seventeen, YM, Elle Girl and others. I was like, going to bring them by this afternoon after school if that’s okay with you.”
“Sure, bring them by.” I made a quick sweep around me to make sure no one was in ear-shot before I added, “By the way, I’m going into boy-mode as soon as I get home. So don’t be too grossed out if you see me without my make-up on!”
“I think I can handle it!” Mandy laughed.
* * *
It’s funny what you get used to. I looked at myself in the mirror, wearing exactly what I used to wear before my life got turned upside down. It felt really weird to wear boy clothes, all the way down to boy underwear. I was just wearing jeans and my high school sweatshirt. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Still, I looked very girlish.
The phone rang. There’s an extension in my room. Looking at the phone I saw it was Jeff calling. Snapping up the receiver I said, “Hey Jeff! How are you?”
Through the phone, Jeff said, “Doing great, babe! I just wanted to tell you to have a good trip. That’s a long drive up there.”
“Thanks Jeff! I was hoping you’d drop by tonight so I could see you before we left tomorrow at oh-dark-thirty,” I said as I sat down on the bed.
Jeff hesitated before answering. Finally, he said, “Well. Since you told me that you were changing... um... er... ‘modes’ right after school, I really didn’t think I’d care to see you as a boy.”
Feeling a bit annoyed, I blurted out, “You know Jeff, no matter what I’m wearing, you’re kissing the same person, you know.”
Sounding annoyed himself, Jeff cut in, “Chrissy, really, I don’t want to even think about that angle, okay?”
“You’re right,” I said as I started to hang up the phone. “Now that I’m being a boy, the last thing in the world I want to do is get close to a guy… much less kiss him! Later dude,” I hung up the phone.
As I sat on the bed, pouting, Mom stuck her head in the door and called out, “Chrissy! Honey, would you mind being on your own for dinner tonight? Your father and I have some running around to do to get ready for the trip in the morning.”
With more whine in my voice than I wanted, I said, “Mommm! Don’t call me ‘Chrissy’. Just call me ‘Chris’ or ‘Christopher’. This weekend I’m all man!” I pounded one fist on my chest.
Mom rolled her eyes as she said, “Oh all right, mister! It’s getting hard to keep up.” She left the doorway and started going back to the living room.
I suddenly remembered something and sprang to the doorway and called, “Oh Mom! If you’re at the store while you’re out, could you get me some mascara? I’m almost out.”
* * *
As Mom and Dad were getting into their car, Mandy pulled up to the curb in her Neon. She got out with an armful of magazines. I was standing in the open door of our house waving to my parents. Mandy waved a greeting to me with a free hand and yelled out, “Hey Chrissy... er... Chris. I brought those magazines over.”
Waving back, I said, “Thanks! Come on in!”
Mandy set the magazines down on the coffee table with a loud plunk. She flopped herself down on the couch and sighed, “I’m beginning to think that maybe I do have a problem with you being gone this weekend. Practice was more of a workout this afternoon with just the four of us!” She looked over at me with a somewhat puzzled look on her face, “You know, Chris, I hate to tell you this, but you like, still look an awful lot like a girl.”
“I know,” I said as I dropped down the couch next to her. “My hair is way too long, and I’m having trouble remembering how to walk like a guy.” I held up my hands, palms outward and continued, “My nails are too long for a guy, but I really, really don’t want to cut them back. I’ll just have to rely on my other masculine features to help me pass as a guy.”
Mandy patted my knee as she said, “I hate to break this to you, Chrissy, but you were like, never exactly a tower of masculinity.”
“Gee like, thanks...”
“Hey, no problem!” Mandy glanced down at her watch, “Want to go get something to eat? I’m free tonight. My parents are at a club meeting tonight.”
“No date?” I asked a little surprised.
Mandy sighed as she answered, “Nope. Not tonight.” She looked down at the floor as she continued, “That just seems to be going nowhere.” Her voice trailed off.
“I’m sorry. He seemed pretty nice.” There was an awkward pause, and then a sudden thought struck me, “Hey, since I’m a guy this weekend, let me take you out! We can do Taco Bell or something and a movie.”
Mandy looked at me funny and said, “Well... I don’t know about that. Something just doesn’t sound right about it.”
“We can eat someplace else if you want. I’ll buy, just like a real date,” I said as I stood up and gestured for Mandy to follow me.
Mandy just stared up at me in disbelief and said, “Chrissy, you like, have a boyfriend and everything! Don’t you think Jeff might mind you going on a date with someone else?”
Frowning as I sat back down, I said, “Did you know that Jeff refused to come over to say good-bye to me in person because I already had gone back to dressing as a guy? Jeff’s interest is in ‘Chrissy’. He shouldn’t have anything to say about what ‘Chris’ does!”
Mandy glared, “You’re like, the same person!”
“Technically.”
We both sat there and stared at each other in silence for a few moments. Mandy leaned forward and slowly said, “Hmmm. I guess it’s not like we’re trying to go steady or anything.”
“I always wanted to date a cheerleader,” I said, smiling.
Mandy laughed.
* * *
I was driving Mandy’s Neon. Mandy didn’t think my Mom’s worn-out Escort would make the 30 minute drive to Sanderson. We decided to go to another town for our ‘date’ to minimize being recognized.
We walked into the Carl’s Jr. and stepped up to the cash register. The teenager behind the counter smiled and said, “What can I do for you two ladies tonight?”
I frowned and said in an irritated voice, “I’m not a lady!”
The guy behind the counter dropped his smile and looked annoyed and said, “Okay, what can I do for you two women tonight?”
“I’m a guy!” I said with my face turning red.
“I’m sorry, ma’am. I mean sir. What can I do for the two of you?”
I was still fuming when we sat down with our food. As I was taking my first bite, I said, “What was with that guy? Geesh!”
Mandy looked up and said, “Oh chill. Chris. Like I said, you’re still very pretty, whether you like it or not.”
After that, Mandy fell silent and seemed lost in thought. After several minutes had passed, I finally asked, “Mandy, is there a problem?”
She breathed a short laugh and said without looking up, “Kinda. In a way. I... well, it just feels a little strange going out with the girlfriend of a guy I’ve got a crush on.” Mandy made another short laugh and continued, “I mean, like, what does that make me? The other woman? The other... what?”
I didn’t want to get into this, so I laughed and said, “Hey, don’t worry about it. We’re just out to have a good time, and besides, how often do you get a date with someone cuter than you?” I ducked as she tossed a handful of fries at me.
After we finished eating, I watched as Mandy opened her purse, removed her compact and a lipstick and began freshening her make-up. The lipstick was a new product, and it looked great on her. I said, “Hey, I really love that lipstick. Can I try it?”
She started to hand the lipstick to me when she suddenly stopped and dropped it back into her purse. “I’m not going to a movie with a guy wearing lipstick!” she announced.
* * *
Mandy handed me her popcorn and drink and said, “Chris, here, take these please. I gotta run to the little girls’ room — fast.”
“Okay”, I said. “I’ll just sit on that bench next to the restroom and wait for you.”
While I was waiting, trying to balance everything on my lap, some local high school boys stepped away from the concession stand. I saw them looking in my direction and saw the big one say something to the others. They then started walking over towards me with goofy grins on their faces. They just stood there, looking like complete idiots and stared at me.
I looked up and asked, “Cannnn I help you?”
The big one laughed and while still grinning said, “Yeah. We was just wonderin’ why you’re trying to look like a guy. It’s pretty obvious that you both are chicks. You two lesbians?” He laughed again.
One of the other boys, with his ball cap backwards over greasy hair chimed in with, “That’s funny, Spike. Yeah, you got some lesbian shit going on?” They all stepped a little closer.<
br />
These guys were scaring the hell out of me. Mustering some confidence, I said calmly, “Well, while it isn’t any of you guys’ business, no, we’re not lesbians. I’m a guy.”
They all laughed. The one called Spike said, “Well, if you’re a guy, you’re the prettiest guy I’ve ever seen! I think you just need to be with a real man!”
I wanted to ask him if he knew where I could find one, but instead I said, “Sorry guys, but I’m not a girl. Honest.”
Spike sniffed the air and said, “You sure smell pretty for a guy.”
Crap! I suddenly remembered that I didn’t even shower. I had just washed my face and changed my clothes. The perfume I’d worn that day must still be lingering. I just shrugged, sniffed my arm and said, “Hmmm. It must have rubbed off my girlfriend.”
The Reluctant Sister (Reluctant Series Book 3) Page 6