I sang my heart out, singing pieces of lyrics I’d been writing for a couple years about being trapped within myself, unable to just be me. Every word meant more than they ever had before, and the tears streaming down my face were evidence.
As I lost myself in the song, so much so that I hadn’t realized that someone was watching me until the old floor boards creaked beneath his feet.
My fingers fell from their strumming, and my eyes flew to the body in my doorway. My eyes met my father’s and his eyes appeared watery. I wondered how long he had been standing there; had he heard all of it? Was he angry with me? Did he understand how I felt? Could he even possibly relate to me? We stared at each other in silence for what seemed to last for ages, when suddenly, he broke it.
“Are you done yet?” he said in the most harsh, unforgiving tone of voice. It pierced right through me. As if on cue, my mother’s ranting echoed out from the hallway.
“Did you tell her to cut that out yet? All that racket so early in the morning is just ridiculous! Besides, she’s grounded! And that mess ain’t allowed in my house.”
I blinked rapidly as my leg began to shake against the cold floor. It felt as if I were slowly coming unhinged with each word. My father’s eyes widened as he tipped his head to the side.
“Well, didn’t you hear your mother? Hand it over.” I watched as he extended a hand out to me. I raised an eyebrow to him,
“Hand what over?”
He rolled his eyes and gave an exasperated sigh.
“THAT!” he yelled, pointing to my guitar.
My eyes slowly wandered away from the unfamiliar man in front of me and down to the old, worn instrument in my lap, and I felt my spiraling world freeze.
No. No. Absolutely not.
“No.”
I thought his eyes were going to roll across my bedroom floor. My mother stepped up beside him. “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO YOUR FATHER?” she seethed at me.
I slowly stood to my feet, gripping my guitar as if it were my lifeline, and right then, it was.
“I said, no.”
Both of their jaws clenched as my father stepped further into my room and began yelling.
“Listen here, young lady, this is my house, and you do as you are told! After everything you have put our family through lately, you ought to know better than to mouth off to your parents. Do you know what it’s like finding out from our friends that our daughter is out acting like the town whore? Running around with some tattooed freak, skipping classes, coming home late, and dressing like a streetwalker. Chase, you’re lucky to even have a bed to sleep in. Now, you hand that over, or so help me…” his voice trailed off.
“She’s lost her mind! I knew something else was going on. I’m not kidding, Chase, your behavior will not be tolerated in my house! The clothes, the boy, the friend, the music, all of it is gone! And I’m pulling you out of that school. I knew all of it would go to your head, and now look at you!” my mother screeched.
I couldn’t help it. I laughed. It was in that moment that I realized I was going to keep that promise to Avery after all. I shook my head as my laughter only increased.
My mom’s enraged voice rang throughout my room, “Are you done yet, Chase Melanie Taylor?”
I looked up at both of them with a sad smile and nodded.
“Yes. Yes, I am.”
With my guitar in hand, I walked up and hugged both of them. Ignoring their confused yells, I walked out of that white room and out of that house for the last time.
Four years later…
“Earth to Meekus! Hello? Umm, Chase? You’re doing that spacey thing again and you’re kinda freakin’ me out this time,” I hear vaguely as a pair of freshly manicured fingers start snapping way too closely in front of my face.
It wasn’t as if I tried to space out when remembering things from four years ago, but sometimes I couldn’t control myself. It was as if my mind wandered of its own accord.
I wrinkle my nose, and look up at my roommate. “I’m fine, woman! Just lost in my thoughts, that’s all! Gah, you can be so obnoxious sometimes!”
As she sticks her tongue out at me, and I laugh out loud, turning my attention back to all of the stuff laying on my bed. I guess I had kind of spaced out while I was painting my toe nails. Only four of them were covered in pink sparkles. My friend quickly strides across my room to turn down the stereo, and she starts to ramble on again.
“So is that a yes, or a hell yes?” she asks, looking at me with pleading eyes.
I arch an eyebrow at her. “Uh, that would be a ‘I don’t know what the eff you’re talking about’.”
She throws her hands up in the air and flops down on the bed beside me dramatically, causing me to swipe polish across my baby toe. I throw my head to the side and glare at her.
“You really didn’t hear anything I said, did you?”
Shaking my head, she sighs.
I’m trying to hide my grin from her. Frustrating Victoria is way too much fun.
“David just called me and said that Alexis is sick. Something about food poisoning, I guess. Honestly, I don’t know the details and I don’t care. Except, I have to care because she had a job tomorrow with us. A big job. The agency doesn’t have a single girl available to fill Alexis’s spot because the request was specific. So, David asked me if I had any model friends who could fill the position.”
I laugh, “Vic, you can’t be serious. Look at me, there is NO job I could fill in for at your modeling agency. LOOK AT ME!” I motion from my head to my toes, hoping that it would quickly remind her that I didn’t look like the same girl I used to be.
My long, wavy brown hair now matches the soft purple color of a California sunset, one of the things I had fallen in love with about this state when we first moved here. My body had filled out a little more in the last three plus years since high school, but my womanly curves were now laced with ink. My back, arms, collarbone, hips, thighs, ankles, and feet were all tattooed with various things, not to mention the numerous earrings, and lip, nose, and Monroe piercings on my face.
Looking over at my friend who hadn’t changed much since our school days, except that now her hair is long and almost blindingly blonde, and I know, without a doubt, that she has lost her mind.
There is no way I could ever replace one of the models that Vic works with.
“No, that’s where you’re wrong! It’s not an ad job or anything like that. I don’t usually get the specifics since I’m still new, but David seemed desperate over the phone and gave away a few details about the shoot. They requested three girls, varying in appearance, emphasizing that they needed to be on the sexier side.”
I roll my eyes, but she ignores me and continues.
“I thought it was strange until David blurted out that Blurr Records doesn’t usually go through his agency when hiring models, but he wasn’t about to turn down the job or get another model from a competing agency. I mentioned you and your alternative sexy self, and he was all for it. Said you should be perfect. Come on Chase, pretty please! This could be a huge job for me.”
“Blurr Records? I’ve been trying to get an internship at one of their studios for the last year!”
A knowing smile spreads slowly across her face. I had only been talking nonstop about biding my time at the radio station until I could find a job with a studio. Working a late night shift at an old station for almost a year and a half had been fun for a while, but I was so ready to move on – to make music instead of just play it. She knew that I wouldn’t be able to turn her down once she let that little piece of information slip.
Damn her!
And after everything she’s done for me, I can’t tell her no. Her real dad is a real estate agent here in L.A. and was able to get us a decent sized apartment that I’ve never had to pay a dime for, plus, I know how much a chance with this agency means to her. Vic did the whole beauty school thing when we first moved, only to realize afterward that she would rather be in the chair than out of it. S
he’s been through a few agencies until she landed a very lucrative spot with David Gale Models.
I, on the other hand, didn’t have slightest idea where to begin. I’ve had about every meager music related job under the sun in this town. I have loved every minute of it, but I want more. That’s what I’ve been working toward lately with my music
“Come on, I don’t know who all will be there but I’ll help you hand out your resume and copies of your mixes, if you want. Plus, if nothing else, David will owe you one. I know he would put in a good word for you. PAH-LEASE, Chase?”
“All right, all right. I’ll do it, but you owe me big time!” I cave with a sigh.
“THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!” Vic squeals, throwing her arms around me. I laugh and hug her back. We spend the next few minutes chit chatting about tomorrow before she heads to her own room, making a quick detour to turn my stereo back up. She pauses when she passes my desk.
Oh no, I should have put all that crap away; I know that there is no way she will leave without saying something.
3-2-1…
“Why the hell are you wasting your time writing them? They never write back, or call you. You don’t owe them anything!” she says, waving around a letter addressed to my parents back in Texas.
I take a deep breath and hang my head. I know they won’t respond, but they are still the only family I have. Keeping in touch somehow just feels like the right thing to do.
When I finally left my parents, I ended up staying with Vic and her family until graduation. My folks only came to her house one time to try, and convince me to come home, but that whole ordeal only left a bitter taste in my mouth. There was a lot of arguing and crying, but the truth remained the same. I was ready to live for myself, and we would never see eye to eye on that. After that, Vic was ready to get out of our small town for good. I’ll admit I was more than ready to leave that place, too.
Shrugging, I finally mumble, “They aren’t bad people, Vic. They just weren’t what I needed and vice versa. I just want them to know I’m ok.”
She nods, “Ok, fine, I get it. Now, explain this one to me without blushing, lying, cussing, or averting your eyes,” throwing down the letter, she grabs a magazine off my desk and I instantly look down at my toes.
Shit.
“AHA! Well, dayam! How on earth could you look away from that??” she asks, her voice suddenly breathy.
“Easily! You weren’t supposed to see that.”
I hear her laugh and I look back up.
“Hun, I’ve seen them on the newsstands for the last two years, and this cover for at least a day or so. The fact that you bought it does not surprise me at all. Besides, it’s hard not to notice this,” she says pointing to the group of guys on the cover with wide eyes.
I sigh, “I’m proud of him, Vic. He’s damn good and he deserves all the success in the world.” My eyes can’t help but wander back to the cover of the magazine she’s holding up.
She turns it around, looks over it again and sighs.
“Oreo fillin’ sure did fill out nicely, didn’t he?” she says softly, walking back over to my bed and handing me the magazine. Looking down at the photo before me, I nod.
Sweet lord, had he ever. The boy, or rather man, still had the same messy blonde hair, but his muscles had doubled in size since the last time I’d seen him. A few new tattoos even graced his lucky skin, but mostly he was just as gorgeous as I remember him. Looking at those gray eyes on that cover, it didn’t feel like much had changed. It never did. I did my best to squash those feelings. His band, Vengeful Honor, had blown up a couple years back, winning a few awards for their debut album, and was easily one of the most popular groups around right now.
Insert my absolute shock when sometime after my first year in California I came across his picture on a magazine telling me to watch this new up and coming band.
I knew the second I heard his voice that he would be something one day. I just had no idea how big that something would be, or how often I would have to see him.
And everything had been fine, until his face started popping back up.
I already had my moments of weakness when it came to Avery, but seeing his face everywhere, and hearing his voice all around me, was pure torture. Especially the magazine covers, and more specifically, the one in my room at this very moment.
Let’s just say that it’s easier to be angry at someone than to miss them all the time.
“You’re doing it again.”
I shake my head, coming out of my head fog, and laugh, “Sorry.”
“Well, it’s at least nice to see you not spouting colorful words at his face for once. Finally admitting that you have fee—”
“Victoria, we’ve had this conversation a billion times before. What good will it do for me to admit anything? None. Especially now. It’s been a very long time and I’d like to think that I have moved on.”
A burst of hysterical laughter erupts from Vic.
“Keep telling yourself that, Chase!” she says, barely able to contain herself. I roll my eyes as a familiar lump starts to rise in the back of my throat. Oh hell.
“I have to, Vic.”
She flops down on the bed next to me and puts an arm around me, “I know you think that way, but I think that if you actually tried to contact Avery, he’d shit himself! Chase, that boy had stars in his eyes for you, and you know it.”
I shake my head and bite the inside of my cheek as I feel the anger start to bubble up inside of me.
“No, I don’t think so. I’d bet anything that those stars were for her.” I motion to the small picture on the corner of the cover of the magazine.
She sighs because she knows arguing with me about it is useless.
Taking one last look at the headline, I fight the urge to throw it across the room.
“Vengeful Honor’s Lead Singer, Avery McGuire’s Long-time Sweetheart, Olivia Birsch, talks about the couple’s upcoming nuptials…”
Sitting alone, completely consumed by his thoughts, strumming his guitar on the end of his hotel bed, Avery never even hears the door to his shared suite open and shut.
“Hey there, Asshole!” a familiar voice calls out from so close that Avery didn’t have time to move or react before a fist came crashing down into his bicep.
“Owww! Jesus, Jesse, what the hell was that for?” Avery cries out, setting his precious guitar behind him on the bed and rubbing his now throbbing arm.
“You’re lucky I don’t punch you in the damn face for withholding that kind of information from me,” the bassist states, flopping down in the nearest chair.
“What are you talking about? My plane just landed two hours ago, I haven’t had time to withhold any information since the last time we spoke. You already know about all of the new album drama, what more could there be to talk about?”
Avery watches as one of his best friends rolls his eyes.
“I’ve been getting nonstop texts since I got here this morning, Ave. You’re upcoming wedding ringing any fucking bells? Or am I not invited? Is that why I don’t know anything about it?”
Avery, completely dumbfounded, stares blankly at Jesse. Blinking rapidly, he tries to make sure he didn’t just imagine those words coming out of his friend’s mouth.
“I’m sorry, my what?”
“Dude, I swear I’ll hit you.”
Avery sighs, moving to sit down on the couch beside the chair his fellow band mate occupies, and rubs his forehead.
“I think if I were getting married, I would fucking know about it, Jesse. What are you going on about?”
Jesse stares at him for a moment and sits up in his seat, brushing his long black hair out of his eyes, “You’re not engaged? Olivia and you aren’t planning some extravagant island wedding for this winter?”
Avery’s eyebrows nearly fly off the top of his head.
“Uhh, Negative, Ghostwriter! I think I would remember proposing and planning a damn wedding; neither of which I have done! Where the
hell is all of this coming from?”
Jesse’s bright blue eyes soften after a moment, and he cocks his head to the coffee table.
Avery’s eyes dart to a neat spread of magazines, one of them catching his eye immediately after seeing his band mate Kennedy’s profile. He tears it from the pile and quickly scans it until his eyes settle on a little corner story.
“She didn’t. She wouldn’t,” Avery utters in disbelief.
Laughing sarcastically, Jesse smirks, “This is Olivia we’re talking about here.”
Sighing out loud, he throws it back on the table.
Running both hands through his hair, Avery mumbles to himself, “I’m gonna kill her.”
“Victoria! How do you expect to be a successful model if you can’t get your beautiful ass out of bed on time?” I holler to my friend with a laugh, watching as the blonde nearly falls out of the bathroom trying to put on a shoe and a hat at the same time.
“You’re lucky that you’re doing me a favor today, Chase. Otherwise, I’d be pulling your purple hair out right now,” Vic grumbles at me as she grabs her bag and keys, playfully shoving me out the apartment door.
About forty minutes later, we arrive at the site for the shoot. Before walking into the designated room, I catch sight of an older, slim built man with sandy brown, slightly graying hair, pacing around the entrance.
“That’s David. Be nice!” Vic hisses, tossing her ponytail over her shoulder and plastering on a bright smile.
I couldn’t help but chuckle softly and shake my head. Seeing Vic stressing out about work was funnier than I ever thought it would be. When David’s finally sees us, his worried face visibly eases.
Introductions are short and sweet.
“You were right, she is beautiful, and she should fit right in today. Hair and makeup is ready for you both. Cassie just got here about ten minutes ago. When you’re done, head back to wardrobe and get dressed, and then wait for the photographer to let you know what she wants. I’ll be around for a while longer, if you need me. Thanks again, ladies!” David was off in almost a sprint the next second, causing another giggle to escape me.
Wild Chase Page 7