Wild Chase
Page 19
I stick my tongue out at him and he does it back, teasingly adding a few dirty gestures. Who would have thought that the big, horny, teddy bear of a drummer would end up being like a brother to me?
“Why don’t we just focus on finishing this song please? I think we’ve wasted enough time today. You guys are fully aware that the label requested that we add two additional new songs to the album, so we have a lot more work to get done,” Avery scowls, throwing down a notebook and rising out of his seat. I pause, turning back in my seat and keeping my eyes down. He and I haven’t said more than two words to one another since the interview. I can tell he’s furious, but about what exactly, I’m not sure. If it has to do with Jesse and me, he has no right to be! Our war of silence tips the scales in favor of that last notion though. Somehow, I know that once we start the conversation it will end up with explosions and fatalities, and I’m not ready to do it. Not yet.
“All right, man. Calm down. Let’s finish this one up and we can get started on the next track,” Kennedy says, slapping Avery on the back, “You all right? You’ve been on edge all week.”
I don’t even have to look up to know his eyes quickly dart to me before he answers.
“Just stressed out about getting all of this done,” he finally mutters, flopping back down into his seat and grabbing for a set of headphones.
Mike just shakes his head and starts up a conversation about the new track with the guys. I sit up and listen in, giving my input when needed. Before I know it, the rest of the day slips away. We finally finish the one track and are already halfway through the new one. After the late night Chinese take-out disappears, one by one, each of the guys start to say goodnight until the only three people left in the studio are Jesse, Avery, and I.
It’s been such a long day, and ignoring the insane tension radiating from Avery’s side of the room, I try to focus all of my attention to the task. I can’t get this part of the song to blend the way I want it to. Something is just off. Flicking my pen noisily back and forth I sigh and rub my forehead as I glance back at Jesse, who yawns loudly from the couch and rubs the back of his neck.
“I’m going to head on back to the hotel. I think I fell asleep there for a few minutes. You guys sticking around?” he asks, sounding exhausted.
I smile and nod, trying to hide how tired I am, but I can’t leave until I fix this chorus.
“Yeah,” Avery huffs, lost in his own little world.
“All right, well I’ll see you back here tomorrow then. Night, Bro.”
Suddenly, my chair spins around, and Jesse stops it with his leg. He puts his hands on the back of the headrest, one on either side of my head, tilting the whole thing back, and catching me off-guard.
“Sweet dreams,” Jesse murmurs as he cradles my face in one hand, tipping it back gently, gazing into my eyes in a way that lets me know what he’s really thinking about doing, and leans in. He presses his lips to mine so slowly that I’m sure steam rises up off us.
When he finally pulls away, it’s as if he takes the rest of the air from my lungs with him.
He licks his lips devilishly and strolls out, leaving me reeling. Damn him.
I turn back to the board and try to refocus on the song, but from my side all I can hear is snickering.
Rolling my eyes, I tilt my head over and look at my blonde haired just friend.
“What’s your problem?”
“Nothing,” he says shrugging his broad shoulders.
I stare at him, knowing that he will never say it. Anyone with half a brain can see the jealously scribed into his eyes every time he looks at the two of us together. Why that is eludes me though. He has Olivia! I deserve the right to move on in whatever fashion I choose. He doesn’t have the right act this way, and I think the silence between us is about to end.
“Ok, Mr. Denial.”
“What are you talking about?”
This time I shrug and say nothing. I hear him scoff and I can’t help but smile and stifle a giggle.
“Damn it, Chase, just stop it.”
I make a face, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Like you said, no problem zone here, Avery.”
The next thing I know, Avery is out of his seat, and he has my chair tipped back, his hands fisted on either side of my face. My breath catches at the feel of him in my personal space for the first time in what feels like ages.
“What do you want from me, Chase? Huh? You want me to tell you how thrilled I am to see you walking around in Jesse’s clothes like some kind of groupie? Or maybe you want to hear about how cute you guys look together while he’s got his tongue down your throat.” He all but roars, causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. Our eyes lock and his jaw tenses. I lick my lips and tip my head to the side. I’m just now realizing that anger is so much easier to get a grip on than all of the rest of the things I’ve felt lately. So I grab onto that feeling with both hands and lean up into Avery’s face, pressing the ends of our noses together.
“One word. You wanna know what that is? OLIVIA. Tell me again how amazing that girlfriend of yours is, Avery. What, did you think you were the only one of us allowed to move on? What happened to that beautiful ‘we can be friends’ speech from the other day? Or that whole, you have my blessing bullshit? I’ve got all night so please, spare no detail!”
His dark, beautifully tormented gray eyes stare deeply into mine for a moment before he shoves off my seat and paces across the room. My heart is practically slamming against my chest as I rise to my feet.
“What? Nothing to say now? You’ve been a complete ass to me for almost two weeks, and when we finally have a moment alone and you can let it all out, you’re at a loss for words? What Jesse and I do has nothing to do with you, Avery,” I say, feeling as though I’m swallowing down a handful of nails when I do.
He turns to me, his face turning red as he clenches his fists even tighter, the white of his knuckles showing. His muscles tensing and pulling against the tight material of his green cotton Henley t-shirt. I let out a long breath through my nose, feeling my body start to tremble as the pressure behind my emotion continues to build.
“I never thought I’d see you again, but here we are. I can’t change that now. But you don’t get to talk to me like that. Avery, you don’t have the right to act like a fuckin’ caveman! I’m not yours. Olivia is your girlfriend. Go home to her. I’m sure she’s up waiting for you,” I say, choking back the tears that are fighting to break through.
Avery spins around on his heels, his eyes burning and hands tugging at his hair.
“BUT I DON’T LOVE HER!” he bellows.
The air in the room stands still, neither one of us even breathing.
Love.
I finally suck in a deep breath, feeling my outer walls weakening, threatening to crash down around my feet with the slightest breeze.
He doesn’t love her.
My heart cracks; I feel it as it breaks open in my chest.
But it’s too late. Things are too messy now. How could he go and say something like that now?
I start to shake my head rapidly, the unrelenting tears rolling down my flushed cheeks.
I make for the door, stumbling over my own feet. As my hand grabs for the knob, Avery’s body crashes against me, pinning me between him and the door. I fight to turn around and face him, but once I’m looking up into his face, I desperately wish I had kept my back to him.
“Just stop. Let me go,” I cry, unable to hide my tears any longer as he leans in even closer.
“You want to hear what I have to say?” he growls, his warm breath so close to my ear. I shake my head, although the butterflies rising from the dead are all screaming yes.
“I haven’t been able to get your face out of my head since the moment I realized it was you sitting in my lap that day. Acting like we’re strangers is fucking driving me insane. I don’t care how much time has passed, I swear every time I see you it’s like I’m right back on that rooftop again,” he wh
ispers, his melodic voice raspy and broken. I blink, out of pure shock, for far too long before I turn my face from him. He slips a hand behind the back of my neck and grabs me up by my nape abruptly, bringing my face within an inch of his face.
“You won’t look at me because you see it too, I know you do.”
Every part of my body aches to lean into him, to wrap around his muscular frame and tell him he’s right.
Of course, I see it.
I never stopped seeing it.
My pride and my guilt for what I’m doing to Jesse are the only things that keep me steadily in place.
I shake my head no and he lets out a frustrated laugh.
“Now who’s denying?” he teases in a soft whisper.
The moment I open my mouth to reply with something snarky he pulls me forward and kisses me.
My world implodes with one touch of his soft lips. I tumble, heart first, into his dangerous embrace.
The feelings I thought I had locked away for the past four years come flooding back as soon as his lips crash into mine. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I’ve wanted Avery, and all of that longing starts to fuel our intense exchange, causing the kiss to turn desperate—reckless. A low, deep sounding groan comes from his throat and I gasp against his lips.
His tongue slips against mine, my body coming alive with every single touch he’s giving me.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I hear thunder, but it isn’t until Avery tears himself from me, panting, that I realize that it’s not a storm.
Someone’s banging on the door.
We step in opposite directions, looking everywhere but at the other as he opens the door to the cleaning crew.
I reach up to my swollen lips and the weight of everything falls back down on me. I look over at Avery with so much written across my face and unable to form a single thought.
Without another word, I grab my bag and make a run for it before everything in me has me running back into his arms.
He isn’t here. All morning in the studio with a stomach full of knots and still, no Avery. Falling asleep had been impossible; finding the will to come in and work with the guys today had been an internal battle. I left multiple casualties in my wake, pride most of all, the moment I decided to get in my car and drive to the studio. I’m not even sure what I’ll do if I see him. Part of me wants to slap him, while the other half of me wants to grab onto him and never let him go again.
He doesn’t love her.
I clench my eyes shut and lean my head against the edge of the soundboard. The rough, fiery touch of his kiss replaying repeatedly in my mind.
“Hey, you all right down there?” Jesse asks, nudging me gently with his elbow. I wince, my heart pinching slightly in my chest as I look up into his sweet blue eyes and smiling face.
I give him a half-hearted smile back, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”
He laughs, “Well, that’s what you get for sticking around here all night. You should have left with me,” he leans over and rubs a hand across my lower back, “although, you’d probably be even more tired if you’d done that.”
I roll my eyes and a genuine smile appears across my face. Jesse is too sweet for words. I look over his face, observing his square jaw and the way his dark hair falls over his olive skin, wanting to feel so much more than I do. I know I have feelings for Jesse, but one taste of Avery’s kiss and I know he’s done it again. Any chance I had at moving on lay in ruins at my feet last night when he took me in his arms and put his lips to mine.
“Well, that’s not our problem. It was planned, so let’s do it,” Adam’s deep voice rolls over me suddenly, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I turn to face the rest of the room as Kennedy and Adam stand up and walk over to Jesse and me.
“What’s going on?” I ask slowly as Adam takes a place behind my seat.
“We were planning on doing this as a group, but just so you know, the decision is unanimous,” Jesse says grinning, turning his seat to me, and leaning forward to take my hand in his.
A nervous laugh escapes me as I eye the rest of the guys and their ridiculous smiling faces.
‘What are you talking about?” I ask again, my stomach threatening to jump ship with all of my emotions running wild.
“We want you, Mel,” Adam states simply, but with a huge grin.
My eyes go wide and my jaw falls open. What did he just say?
Kennedy laughs, and then stoops to one knee beside Jesse’s chair, “What dipshit means is that we want you—to be a part of Vengeful Honor.”
Jerking my face back, I close my eyes and a loud laugh bursts free from my lungs.
“WHAT?” I cry out, almost sure that I, in fact, never actually got out of bed this morning.
Jesse squeezes my hands gently, bringing me back to the moment.
“We are dead serious right now. The guys and I had a contract drawn up and everything. Elizabeth, an associate with Blurr, is waiting in the other room with it whenever we are ready. Melanie, you’re brilliant. I know that you’ve been working your ass off for years just to get into the business. If you don’t mind putting up with our four asses for as many years as this ride lasts, than we want you to be a part of it. You can come up with all the excuses in the world, but not one of them will work. We won’t take no for an answer,” Jesse replies, his words colliding into every single piece of me.
Covering my mouth, I feel a tear hit the side of my palm.
This has to be a dream.
There is no way that this is happening.
“It’s true. You know how to write the hell out of a song, what sounds good, what works, and what doesn’t. Your voice is phenomenal. I’d rather have you as a part of our band than leave you behind and have you beat us out for album of the year,” Kennedy confesses with a wide grin.
Adam’s big hand falls onto my shoulder and shakes me gently, drawing my eyes up to his big, brown ones.
“It’s true. I’ll admit it. You’re the shit. And I totally expect you to cook. Like, all the time.”
I laugh loudly, tears running down my face and my heart ready to explode.
“Are you kidding? Are you freakin’ serious right now?” I question them again, finding Jesse’s bright eyes.
“Absolutely,” he smiles.
I lean forward, my whole body shaking as I laugh and cry in complete and utter disbelief.
My reaction only proves that despite not liking the limelight, this is everything I’ve ever dreamed of… Everything I’ve ever wanted.
Almost everything.
I look back up and around the room, my moment taken over by thoughts of stormy gray eyes and I swallow.
“What about Avery?” I ask with my voice unsteady.
Jesse rolls his eyes, “That guy is in his own world this week. Trust me. He’s on board with everything.”
The other guys nod their heads in agreement, but something still doesn’t feel right.
“Where is he?” I ask, wiping the tears from my face.
“Dude’s been in his room all morning with that damn guitar attached to his hip. I haven’t seen him that into writing since he got back from Texas,” Adam pipes up.
Jesse nods, “Yeah, the first trip though, not the second one.”
My mind takes a moment to wrap around the last three words to come out of Jesse’s mouth.
The second one.
He went back to Texas.
My chest tightens as I raise a hand to my stomach and grip a handful of my shirt. My mind fumbles as I am unable to process the new information, but something inside of me pushes until the words finally stumble from my lips.
“What happened to him?” I manage to say, hoping that the words make sense.
“He flew out to Texas about four plus years ago, came back and wrote almost our entire album. He turned around and flew back out there a couple years ago but when he came back, he wasn’t nearly as inspired,” Kennedy says with a shrug.
He went back.
He went back.
Before I realize it, I’m standing and looking down at the rest of the guys.
He went back.
“So, what do you say? Yes or hell yes?” Jesse asks with a smirk, rising to his feet.
“Jesse, are you sure—” I begin, my pulse racing more with each passing second.
He puts a finger to my lips and cuts me off.
“I don’t care what reasons you’re about to come up with. I don’t care about what goes on between you and me. It has nothing to do with this, I swear. It’s purely professional. I’ve already swore to the guys that no matter what happens, it won’t change anything. I’m here to stay and I hope you are, too.”
I smile on the outside as my hand slid into his. Watching from inside my head, I see myself walk down the hall with Jesse, Kennedy, and Adam in slow motion.
I should be celebrating; I should be screaming from the rooftops. It’s my every dream come true, but I’m lost somewhere inside myself.
The blood is rushing through my veins and my heart is pounding wildly, but the only thing I can hear are the butterflies whispering.
He went back.
I pace back and forth across the cold tile floor of my apartment and stare at the clock on the stove. He said he was on his way. I grab nervously at the fabric of my jeans resting at my thighs, and start to tap my leg anxiously. I have to know. I need to know, I repeat over and over until I hope that I believe it. When I texted him from the cell phone I barely use, he responded instantly, saying he would be right over. Glancing up at the time, I see that not even a minute has passed since the last time I checked. I let out a long sigh and make for the door. Rushing up the hall and down the stairs, I step outside, barefoot and jacketless, finding myself standing at the front of our building in the rain. Tilting my head back, I let the water wash over my face until the sound of his voice surrounds me.
“Hey, what’s wron—” he begins but I cut him off.
“You. You went back? You went back to Texas. Why didn’t you tell me?”