For a moment, Mrillis was confused. What was he doing that made her question him? Then he realized he had his arm firmly wrapped around her. It had become reflex, as if she was already so heavy with their child that she couldn't stand on her own without support. Ceera always teased him about it when they were alone together, but she never told him to stop it. Until now. Or was she?
"Endor knows we're married," he murmured back, after several seconds to reflect on whose reactions she might be concerned about. "Everyone knows we married for love, not for political reasons."
"Oh, my, yes, consolidation of power. Maybe an attempt by Wynystrys to control the Stronghold--or those fools who think you want to be Breylon's heir think it's my attempt to control the island." Ceera's eyes sparkled, despite the scowl she wore and the whispery rasp of her voice. Nothing, lately, could put her in a bad mood. They had been especially merry last night, when Athrar arrived in time for dinner, and to spend an entire moon training some newly discovered Valors with them.
"Not that," she said, after Mrillis successfully fought down his laughter without even letting out a snort to betray him. They stood with their backs to everyone, so unless they made a sound or turned their heads, no one would know their mood or conversation. "I was thinking of your new habit--hah!" She trapped his hand by pressing her own over it, caught in the act of cupping her barely noticeable belly. "Everyone will think there's something to worry about."
"Sorry," he whispered, and leaned down to brush a kiss across her cheek. With a sigh, Mrillis slid his hand back to her waist. "If it's any comfort, there's not much distance to go in moving my hand. I'm not seeing even a hint of fat yet. That worries me."
Ceera did laugh now, caught between snorts and snickers. They were still shaking slightly, their faces only lightly flushed, when the tunnel's magical iris spun open and the travelers stepped through.
Endor had his arm around Triska, almost as tightly as Mrillis held Ceera. Brother and sister stumbled to a halt, looking breathless with laughter, eyes sparkling, cheeks red, mouths pursed as if fighting not to make a sound. Triska seemed to skip a few steps as she stepped forward, out of her brother's embrace, and dropped into a deep curtsey to salute Ceera.
Endor flicked his wrist and Mrillis felt the sudden new hum of power in the Threads, audible in the air. All attention shifted from the rest of the party as they emerged from the tunnel, and focused on the spinning ball of blue light and blue sparks, the tamed star-metal Triska had brought back from Moerta.
Mrillis' first thought was that for the amount of energy vibrating from the lump, it should have been the size of a horse soldier's shield, not the size of a man's head. Couldn't Triska control it any better than that?
"Very nice for a first attempt, isn't it?" Endor said, beaming as if he had been the one solely responsible for taming and gathering the star-metal.
Mrillis barely caught the flash of venom in Triska's eyes. It startled him almost as much as realizing that glare was directed at her beloved brother. He thought Endor held his sister's loyalty secure in his hands, and she would never question or resent anything he said or did.
That might be a good thing, was all Ceera said when he shared that fleeting observation with her. She couldn't explain further, as the greeting and transfer of the star-metal to the control and custody of the Stronghold took all their attention.
The four of them went to the storeroom where the tamed star-metal was kept safe, adjacent to the workroom where Ceera made the jewelry, chains, arrowheads, spear points and knives of star-metal that she gifted to people to strengthen and amplify their imbrose.
I wasn't imagining things, was I? Ceera shared with Mrillis, when Triska's happy expression slipped again and she looked around the workroom with loathing bright in her eyes. I truly think she's jealous, that somehow she thinks she's being deprived of her rights, because she doesn't have the gift of working the metal like I do.
Shouldn't she be upset that she's unable, instead of blaming you or someone else? he countered.
I think someone has been taunting her that she doesn't have half the strength I do, half the skills, and the only way she can fight that hurt is to blame someone else. Ceera sighed as she closed the doors and sealed them with magic, and led their foursome down the passageway to the common room. She isn't happy when I remind her she needs to study and practice to gain those skills. I certainly wasn't born with the ability to work metal of any kind, let alone star-metal.
According to Graddon, you were. He caught up her hand and kissed her fingertips.
He saw my destiny, not my abilities.
"The two of you ..." Endor sighed. "After all this time, shouldn't you be less...I don't know--"
"Honey-coated?" Triska offered in a too-sweet voice.
"We married for love, not politics or power," Ceera said, her voice warm and tinged with laughter. "That will never change, so why would we stop being utterly happy together?"
"It's unnatural," Endor grumbled. He stomped away from them when they reached the common room, to go to the refreshment table and pour himself a brimming tankard of honey mead.
"If you had won Ceera's heart, I dare you to say you wouldn't feel the same all the time, and want her to be always happy to be with you," Mrillis shot back at him. The tightness under the laughter in his teasing surprised him. Ceera's hand tightened in his grasp, silent warning coming clear through the link of their minds.
"Well--of course--but--" Endor let out a long sigh that ended with bubbles as he drowned his embarrassment in his mead.
Triska burst out laughing and sauntered across the room to join her brother and hook her arm through his. "You didn't win Ceera, Brother. You're burdened with me for now, so you might as well be happy."
"Hah!" He laughed, spattering a few golden drops, and bent to kiss the top of her golden-red head. "That's the honest truth. I can honestly say, there is no one in the world who loves me as much as my little Triska. And I vow I will keep it that way."
Mrillis didn't like the shiver that went up his spine, almost too swiftly to be noticed.
"Now," Ceera said, "let's make ourselves comfortable, and you can tell us all those things you left out of your reports."
"Why would we leave anything out?" Endor countered. He bowed grandly, gesturing for her to go ahead of him to the cluster of seats around the cold hearth that was kept filled with flowers during the summer.
"All those fun little details. The people, the animals returning to the forests, the plants, anything that looks unusual after the ground was poisoned so long with star-metal. Those little details." She smiled and hooked her arm through Triska's. "I've missed our long chats in the evening after--"
Triska jerked her arm free as if she had been scalded and stumbled away, breathing heavily and loudly. Her eyes went wide and she lost all her color, until fury turned her face redder than wine.
"It's true. I thought it had to be a mistake. I thought it was impossible. It's not fair! How could you?" she gasped, her voice breaking, as if the pressure inside froze her vocal chords.
"How could I what?" Ceera shook her head and looked to Mrillis. What did I miss? What did I do?
I have no idea. He looked at Endor, for some clue to understand the younger woman's inexplicable reaction.
"Triska--" Endor reached out a hand to his sister. She flinched and skipped back from him as if he had struck her.
"You did it on purpose!" the girl spat.
"Did what?" Ceera said.
"You don't want me to be your heir. You lied to me. You've just been playing games with me. Tease the half-breed, make her think she's just as good as everyone else--"
"You are," Mrillis snapped. "Better than quite a lot of people with twice as much training and experience. Ceera wouldn't have made you her heir if you didn't have that much potential."
"Then why is she having a baby to replace me?" Triska ended on a shriek that startled her, so she slapped both her hands over her mouth.
"No. How c
ould you even think that?" Ceera trembled a little as she sank into the nearest chair.
Endor's lips twitched in what looked suspiciously like a smirk, before his expression settled into stern, slightly embarrassed lines.
"You are heir to the Queen of Snows," Mrillis snapped, concentrating on Triska because he didn't like the thoughts that tried to form about Endor. He would deal with those questions later. Triska was the main concern now. "You are heir until you prove yourself unworthy of the trust and responsibility. No one will take that destiny from you except for yourself." He stomped forward and grasped Triska's arms. He didn't shake her, though he wanted to, badly.
"Then why is she having a baby?" Triska whispered, only lowering her hands enough to allow her to speak.
"That's what happens when people make love," Ceera said with a weak little laugh. "Mrillis and I want a child, we want to be parents. Our having a baby has nothing to do with you, nothing to do with our duties to the Rey'kil. And quite frankly, you disappoint me, Triska, that you would think so badly of me, to accuse me of such a dishonorable, dishonest, cruel trick!" She leaped to her feet and darted from the room. Mrillis was stunned to see tears spill down her cheeks before she vanished into the shadows of the passageway.
Ceera never cried over something so trivial, never cried when someone hurt her feelings. Then again, the attack and accusation had happened so quickly, he felt a little unbalanced himself.
"Now that's a surer sign she's breeding than anything else," Endor said. He wrapped an arm around Triska and guided her to the seat Ceera had vacated. "You'd better go see about her. I've heard horror stories of what pregnant women can do when they're upset. Add in her imbrose and the fact she's Queen of Snows... Who knows?" He grinned and shuddered in mock fear.
Mrillis swallowed down a spill of angry words and hurried from the room. His constant awareness of Ceera felt heightened, more sensitive, as if he shared her abraded emotions. He followed her up the stairs to the cliffs facing the Northern Sea.
Ceera stood still and small and straight, arms wrapped tight around herself, staring with unseeing eyes at the water rolling dark and smooth far below her feet. Mrillis wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, drew her back to rest against his chest, and nestled his chin into her shoulder. They could, and had, stood that way for hours at a time, perfectly content.
"That wasn't the best way to handle her," Ceera finally said, when the afternoon shadows grew long and darkened and blended with the fading of the sunlight.
"Where could she have gotten that idea? Not the idea you would replace her with our baby, but the thought that you had made a mistake and you weren't pregnant at all. Why would she hope it was a lie?"
"She didn't think of that before she left, so someone else put the fear in her head." She sighed. "I should have foreseen her reaction, her fear that she was being replaced. Someone took advantage of her lack of confidence. And it's true, there are still people who mock and suspect her, just because of her father. But how could she think I would deliberately have a child to replace her?"
"Why does everyone assume you and I will have a daughter and not a son?" Mrillis brushed a soft kiss against the side of her neck.
"That would solve all our problems, wouldn't it?" she said with a sigh of laughter. "If Master Breylon hadn't chosen Deyral as his heir, he could choose our son."
"If I don't want to be master of Wynystrys, what makes you think I would want such a thing for my son?"
"What makes you think I would bequeath the duties of Queen of Snows on our daughter?" she retorted. "There are times when I doubt our Lady loved me as much as I thought, because of all the burdens that come with my inheritance from her."
"I think she loved you more because she knew how hard it would be."
"You, my love, could convince an Encindi to remain on his disintegrating land and sink into the sea, rather than try to steal Lygroes." She slipped her hands between his, where they were clasped at her waist.
Chapter Seven
Triska never spoke another word about her fears, never accused Ceera, or anyone else, of trying to supplant her. The summer passed peacefully into fall, but Mrillis didn't trust the peace.
He found himself constantly watching Triska, testing the Threads for some malice woven into the air, especially when a nasty trick somewhere in the Stronghold caused someone harm. He nearly laughed aloud when he realized that he had once been more likely to expect Nainan to spread water in dark stairwells or to shred someone's weaving or ruin a tray of breakfast being sent up to Ceera in her office. Now, when something went wrong and it looked like the damage was deliberate, rather than an accident, he looked at Triska.
What had happened to cause the sisters to change personalities? He nearly asked Nainan to help him protect Ceera after he slipped on the stairs outside their quarters. A layer of dust and grit that perfectly matched the color of the stone hid a layer of grease. He shuddered to think what could have happened to Ceera if she had fallen, now that the baby was large enough to make a visible bulge in her belly. He hesitated to involve Nainan, specifically because it was her sister who was his most likely suspect.
He hesitated asking Endor to say something to Triska, when his friend came to visit late in the fall on behalf of the Warhawk. They had a pleasant evening in the common room, like old times, before fate and choices and rumors had put walls of silence and hurt feelings dividing the three friends. Mrillis was loath to disturb that peace and harmony, especially for Ceera's sake. Everything affected her lately, no matter how diligently she tried not to be too sensitive and moody. Endor came to him about the problem the next morning and gave him a list Triska had made of nasty tricks, sabotage and ambushes that had plagued the Stronghold in the last few moons, some of which Mrillis had not known about.
"Don't tell me you haven't noticed!" he blurted when Mrillis just sat silent and thoughtful, and thumped on the table for extra emphasis. "I could understand Ceera living in a cloud, but not you."
"I have noticed, and I've been working with several others to find the culprit and spring the traps before anyone is seriously hurt," Mrillis said slowly.
"Oh, really? Some of the things that have been going on here could have direct bearing on Ceera. We can't afford to have the Queen of Snows injured or disabled for a long period of time. It's been too quiet. Anyone with any sense knows our enemy will strike soon."
"That's true." Mrillis wanted to ask why Triska went to Endor with her concerns instead of approaching him or Ceera or one of the elders of the Queen's ladies. "What makes you think we haven't been concerned?"
"Triska knows nothing about your so-called precautions. She's wearing herself out, hunting for the mischief-makers, and it's driving her to tears to think she's the only one who notices or cares." Endor snatched up a cup and splashed warmed spiced wine into it, taking a large gulp before continuing. "Why haven't you involved her in the search?"
"She should have come to me with her concerns instead of handling it on her own." The words he couldn't say burned on his tongue. He certainly couldn't tell Endor his sister was at the top of the very short list of suspects. "Triska has enough on her plate without burdening her with those concerns."
"It's not as if you suspected her of trying to hurt Ceera, is it?" From the hardness of Endor's tone, his words were more an accusation of the exact opposite, not a question.
"If it was anyone else who had kept silent, wouldn't you accuse her of trying to hurt Ceera?" Mrillis countered quietly.
Endor's eyes widened and his coloring darkened and he clenched the cup in his fist hard enough to make the pottery crack. Gritting his teeth, he visibly fought to stay silent while his nostrils flared and he took a dozen deep, rasping breaths. Finally, though, he calmed enough to swallow hard and grudgingly nod.
"If it was anyone else who came to me with that story, and they saw Ceera's baby as a rival, I would wonder if she kept silent from guilt." He drank deeply, emptying the cracked and leaking cup. "Anyone els
e... I'd be tempted to wring her neck." He bared his teeth in a fierce grin. "I still love Ceera, even though she didn't choose me. Love's a kind of madness, I suppose, when it makes you want to keep proving yourself even after you've lost the battle."
"It wasn't a battle," Mrillis offered quietly, "except in your eyes."
"True." Endor snorted and shoved the cup aside to snatch at warm bread from the covered basket and spill honey over it. His movements were short and abrupt, and watching him, Mrillis was tempted to ask what crime the food had committed to be abused like that.
Once, he could have asked it and Endor would have laughed and all would have been well between them. Those days were long gone, Mrillis realized with a pang that took away what little appetite remained. He wondered if he and Endor would ever be so close again, nearly hearing each other's thoughts as they formed.
"Does Ceera know?" Endor asked, after devouring his breakfast so quickly, it was doubtful he tasted any of it.
"The nasty tricks, or about Triska?"
"Ah. Good point." He sighed. "I think maybe the Queen's Heir should get out of the Stronghold a while and get to know the land she will be responsible for someday." Without any further words, he nodded to Mrillis and left.
Mrillis let him go. He nearly went to his morning lessons with the older boys without eating, but forced himself, despite the lack of any flavor in the food. Just as he lectured Ceera on those mornings when her stomach and head rebelled at the very thought of food, he needed his strength. There were twice as many boys in the lessons as there had been when Mrillis was their age, and he remembered all too clearly what a handful he and his year mates had been for their teachers.
* * * *
Ceera approved Endor's suggestion, but only after asking Triska if she wanted to make the long, involved tour of Lygroes with her brother. It irked Mrillis that Ceera had to be so careful of Triska's feelings. The girl was just contrary enough these days, if Ceera had shown her approval too soon, she would have accused her of trying to exile her from the Stronghold. Mrillis hoped with Ceera that the long journey and getting away from those who might still be tormenting Triska for her mixed blood would help settle her mind and heart and improve the girl's attitude.
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