Meant-to-Be Mom

by Karen Templeton

  “I saw Chad.”

  Cole’s stomach plunged. “Oh?”

  “He—” she looked absolutely miserable “—he returned the ring and gave me the money. To make up for what I’d spent on the wedding.”

  “And you accepted it.”

  Her eyes glistened. “He insisted.”

  “Wow. That was nice of him.”

  “It was. Especially since it means...”

  “You can get your own place now.”

  “Yeah.”

  Blood roared in his ears. “Still. You can stay as long as you like, you know. Take your time looking—”

  “The commute’s making me crazy,” she said softly, her eyes giving the lie to her words. “Especially since I’m more booked than ever. S-so I’ve already contacted an agent I know, one of my clients. She’s got several places lined up for me to look at. Tomorrow, actually. And...” He saw her swallow. “And I’m staying with my assistant in the meantime. On her futon, but since it’s only for a few days...”

  “Wow,” Cole pushed out. “When you decide to do something, you don’t mess around, do you?”

  She blinked. “Hey, you don’t dillydally with the New York rental market. You snooze, you lose.”

  Now he crossed his arms high on his chest, right over the spot where it felt as if someone had poured gasoline on it and tossed in a match. “Is this where I wish you all the best in your future endeavors?”

  “Cole, please—”

  “Well, screw that,” he said, stepping closer, close enough to see a thousand emotions swirling in her dark, wet eyes before he clamped his hands on her shoulders and kissed her again, tasted her, hard enough to show he meant business, softly enough to make her moan...for a second or so before she roughly pulled free.

  “This is what’s not happening,” she said, her voice shaking. “Because what would be the fricking point?”

  “The point is us. All of us, together, as a family—”

  “And that’s a lovely dream, Cole. Really. But that’s all it is—a dream. And whatever the hell happened to all that ‘never again’ stuff—”

  “I lied?”

  Several interminable seconds later, she said, “You do realize there’s no guarantee it would work?”

  “If you need more time—”

  “For what? For Brooke and me to get even closer? And who knows, maybe Wes would even finally come around. Only who’s to say you don’t wake up one day and realize you’d made a mistake—”

  “And what makes you think that’s going to happen?”

  Tears crested in her eyes. “Because it always does, Cole. Always. I don’t know why, but it does. And is that a risk you really want to take? With them?” Her throat worked again. “For yourself? And it would kill me....” She shook her head. “So...no. Maybe you’re okay with going down roads that lead nowhere, but I’m done. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to bed. Matt’s coming really early to pick me up.”

  “You’re not even going to say goodbye to the kids?”

  “It’s already killing me to leave you,” she said softly, and his heart jumped. “The kids...I can’t.”

  Tension vibrated between them for several seconds before Cole stepped aside, hands raised, his stomach churning as Sabrina walked past him.

  Sighing, he massaged the back of his neck as he let the dogs out back, followed them onto the patio. Oddly enough, he really did understand where she was coming from. After all, he didn’t exactly have the greatest relationship track record, either. And God knew he’d spent way too many nights lying in bed and staring up at his ceiling, wondering why. On the face of it, her fears were more than justified, and he couldn’t, wouldn’t, fault her for them. Or for wanting to avoid more pain.

  Except giving up...it didn’t feel right.

  So don’t, bonehead.

  His heart knocking against his ribs, he dropped onto the edge of the nearest chair, dragging his hands down his face to blow a breath into his cupped palms.

  What he was thinking...it was crazy. But you know what? Not any crazier than what he did to pay the bills. And once again, it occurred to him that the best gamers, the ones who were always on top of the leaderboards, were the risk takers, the mavericks...the ones who not only made the most of whatever opportunity popped up on the screen, but who hunted those suckers down like their lives depended on it. That’d been him, once upon a time, back when winning the game was all that mattered.

  Only this was no game.

  This was his life.

  * * *

  Sabrina had just zipped up her packed suitcase when the light rap on the door made her jump.

  And if she had an ounce of sense, she’d ignore it and maybe Cole would think she was already asleep.

  With the light on. Right.

  Tightening her robe sash, she padded barefoot across the carpet to open the door. Where, yep, stood the man of the hour, hands slugged into his front pockets, all shoulders and pecs and serious silver eyes, and she was a goner.

  Not that she hadn’t been before.

  “Did I wake you?” Cole said, his voice gravelly soft as he let his gaze drift over the flimsy robe, and she couldn’t breathe. Or think, really.

  She shook her head. “What do you want?”

  He reached out to finger her hair, letting his knuckle skim her cheek, her jaw. She trembled. Dammit. His mouth twitched.

  “Guess.”

  “Fresh out of sugar, sorry.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that,” he said, smiling, as the knuckle wandered, unsteadily, down the side of her neck, across her collarbone. “You gonna smack me?”

  “Thinking about it.”

  He let the backs of his fingers graze her nipple, underneath the silky fabric, so slowly, so...perfectly. There were twinges. Exquisite. Sweet. “Now’s your chance.”

  Yeah. Smacking him was not what she wanted to do right now.

  “R-rain check,” she murmured.

  He stilled. “On?”

  “I’m not gonna hit you, okay?”

  “Then...may I come in?”

  “It’s your house.”

  “But it’s your space.”

  “Only until...” She swallowed, then stepped back. “Sure.”

  He palmed her waist, moved them inside the room. Shut the door behind him. Untied the robe.

  Tugged her close.

  And her hormones did the Kermit flail. Yaaaaayyyyy...

  “The kids—”

  “Dead to the world,” he whispered, his hands hot, gentle, against her bare skin...his breath warm, teasing, against her temple. Who are you? she wanted to say. Except she knew exactly who he was.

  Who he’d always been.

  “Still waiting,” he said softly, slipping the robe off her shoulders.

  “For?”

  “You to say no.” Now his lips were on her neck, right...there... “Because you can, you know,” he said, moving north, then south again. “Anytime.”

  Then he brought their mouths together, his teasing and demanding and generous, all at once, and angels sang. Loudly. And for an amazingly long time.

  “You don’t play fair,” she muttered when the damn things finally shut up. More or less.

  “This is true.”

  Sabrina laughed. She couldn’t help it. Even as tears clogged her throat. Then Cole backed up, his forehead pinched.

  “Crap. I don’t have—”

  “I’m on the patch,” she said. You know, before the logical side of her brain could get a word in over the still-humming angels.

  His sigh of obvious relief made her laugh again. Still...

  Blinking, she took his face in her hands. “This doesn’t change anything—”

  “Doesn’
t it?” he said, before grabbing the hem of his T-shirt, yanking it over his head. She reached for the lamp, to turn it off. Smiling, he clasped her wrist.

  “No damn way,” he murmured, lowering her to the mattress.

  * * *

  Oh, man, were her nipples happy little campers right now, as Cole tongued and tugged, sucked and stroked and soothed, like nobody was in any rush, here...even as anticipation suffused every molecule with a lovely, languorous heat that only intensified, somehow, when the breeze from the open window caressed her skin. Sure, way at the back of her nonfunctioning brain a shrill little voice whispered, You’re so gonna regret this, pumpkin. But right now, in this incredibly precious moment, she did. Not. Care.

  Feeling hugely Zen and magnanimous, she reached for him, but he grabbed her hand, held it over her head.

  “So, what? I don’t get to touch, too?”

  “Oh, you’ll get your chance. When I give the word.”

  “Jerk.”

  Chuckling, Cole shifted to one elbow, letting his gaze sweep down, then up, then down again, smiling when she blushed.

  “You’re getting a kick out of this, aren’t you?”

  “You have no idea,” he said. “Because that first time—”

  “Could we please not talk about that?”

  “In the dark, in the car...” His eyes met hers again. “I’ve always wondered if you wanted it like that so you wouldn’t have to see—”

  “Cole!”

  “But that meant I couldn’t, either. All those prurient fantasies, dashed. Damned frustrating, that.”

  “And did it ever occur to you that maybe I wanted it dark so you couldn’t see?”

  He frowned. “I don’t—”

  “It was my first time, too, remember? And nobody, not even my mother, had seen my breasts before. So I was—” she felt her face warm “—shy.”

  His brows lifted. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah. What? You think I’m making this up?”

  Instead of answering, he grinned, then pulled her close again to claim her mouth, his erection pressing against her thigh as he reached between her legs, making her gasp.

  And close her eyes.

  And moan.

  Damn it.

  “Not shy now, are we?” he whispered, tormenting, and she made some guttural sound and pressed her hand over his, smiling at his low chuckle in her ear. Not that he needed any guidance, no sir. Dude knew exactly what he was doing, clearly attuned to her signals, watching her face—she could feel, even with her eyes shut, that silvery gaze, soft as moonlight on her skin...

  “Now would be good,” she whispered.

  Then, a shift of weight, a welcome heaviness as he plunged inside...and several most excellent seconds later her climax roared through her like a damn freight train, clickity-clack, clickity-clack...on and on and on, holy moly...

  Then she felt his shudder, caught his grimace of pleasure morph into a still, sure expression of complete satisfaction before he rolled off her, immediately wrapping her close, kissing her hair, his heartbeat thrumming in her ear.

  His laugh was soft. “Think we can safely delete the first time from our memory file,” he murmured, and she laughed, too.

  Because that’s what you did, when the sex was amazing and the person you had sex with was probably the best friend you ever had, or ever will—which was why the sex was amazing. Even though, as you softly fluttered back to earth after a high you’ll never forget, you realize exactly how deep is the doo-doo you’re in.

  Because, sure, she trusted Cole. With her life. And again, amazing sex. Noooo doubt about that, boy. As in, if she died right now, she’d be like, Go ahead and send me wherever, I’ve already seen heaven.

  But the worst thing about this? Was that her heart was trying to convince her she was in love. Same as it had soooo many times before.

  The difference was, now she knew better than to believe the little stinker. Amazing sex or no. Because she still had no idea what she was doing, what she really wanted. Who she really was.

  How to make this stick.

  She snuggled closer, her cheek on his chest. “I can’t hurt you again, Cole. I won’t—”

  “Shhh...” He kissed the top of her head. “One step at a time, baby.”

  One step. Right.

  All it took to go right over the edge of the cliff.

  * * *

  Cole hadn’t spent the night, of course. Not that he would have, since it was obvious she needed her space, afterward. Literally as well as figuratively. That much, he could give her. Well, aside from...the other stuff. But he’d also been concerned someone would wake up and wonder where he was. Go looking for him. Not that they had, not since they were toddlers. But with his luck, this would have been the one night they would.

  And he would have handled it, somehow. His choice, his consequences. Just as well, however, that he woke up alone this morning, in his own bed.

  It was still dark enough, when he stepped into the yard in his pajama bottoms after letting out the dogs, to see the light in the tiny bathroom window overhead. He went back inside, noticed her luggage already by the front door. When on earth had she done that?

  He went back to his room, grabbed his phone off the nightstand, texting as he returned to the kitchen:

  Do not leave without saying goodbye.

  Seconds later:

  OK.

  Not long after, she appeared at the back door, wearing a short dress and a tiny sweater. Sandals that showed off bright red toenails. And hell, yeah, he got hard. Like he wouldn’t?

  “What’s this?” she said when he handed her a brown paper bag, a thermos.

  “Coffee. An egg sandwich. On rye toast, the way you like it.”

  “Oh, Cole...you didn’t have to—”

  “Yeah, well, you didn’t have to last night, either. Deal.”

  She blushed. Out front, a car pulled up in the drive, the engine’s purr drowning out the raucous bird song filtering through the open patio door.

  “Um...that’ll be Matt—”

  “What’s going on?” Wes asked, yawning, his hair sticking up every which way like it had when he was a toddler.

  “I’m going back to New York, sweetie,” Bree said quietly.

  “What?” The boy frowned. “When? Now?”

  “Yeah,” she said, gathering her purse off the counter before reaching up to touch the boy’s cheek. “Tell your sister she can call or text me anytime, okay?”

  “You’re not coming back?”

  “My family’s still here, so of course I’ll visit. But to live?” She shook her head as her phone dinged. “It’s Matt,” she said, checking the screen before slipping the phone back inside her purse. “I need to go...”

  “Let me help you out,” Cole said.

  “I can manage. And you’re not dressed—”

  “Like I care what the neighbors think.”

  Smiling a little, she gave Wes a quick, hard hug, then headed toward the front door, standing on the sidewalk with her arms crossed as Cole silently carted her bags out to Matt’s SUV and loaded everything into the back of the car.

  “Well,” she said after he slammed shut the hatch. “Thanks so much for letting me stay. It was great, getting to know the k-kids...”

  She gave her head a sharp shake, then yanked him against her, standing on tiptoe to press her cheek to his and feeling so small and fragile in his arms. So unlike the night before, when she’d been fierce. Uninhibited.

  Real and there and, for that moment, his.

  He held on as long and as tight as he dared, aching that he couldn’t kiss her. Not with his son and her brother watching.

  But he could whisper, “I wouldn’t hurt you, either, baby. Ever,” before he let go.


  Let her go.

  Her gaze wrestled with his for a moment before she got in the car, waving to Wes as they backed out of the driveway. Wasn’t until they were gone, however, that Cole realized his cheek was wet.

  And not from his tears.

  * * *

  God.

  Wesley spun around from the open front door and stormed back to his room, collapsing into his desk chair so hard it squeaked. A minute later his dad appeared at his doorway. Surprise, surprise.

  “Wes—”

  “I can’t believe you just stood there!”

  “Keep your voice down. Your sister’s still asleep—”

  “No, I’m not,” Brooke said behind him in the hall in her pajamas, trying to unknot her hair with her fingers. “What’s going on?”

  “Sabrina’s gone, that’s what’s going on. And Dad didn’t even try to stop her.”

  “What? Dad!”

  “Guys! You knew from the beginning she wasn’t staying—”

  “But she could’ve changed her mind, right?” Wesley felt like his throat was on fire. “You could’ve changed her mind.”

  “How? Where she lives, what she does with her life—that’s her choice. And anyway—” Dad’s eyes narrowed “—I thought you were the one who didn’t want her around?”

  “Yeah,” Brooke said, pushing past Dad to plop on Wesley’s torn-up bed. “Speaking of changing his mind. What the heck?”

  “I didn’t think she’d fit, okay?” A dull pain shot through his chest. “That she’d really care about us—”

  “Oh, Wesley—”

  His eyes shot to his father’s. “But it doesn’t matter, does it? Because she left, too.”

  Dad frowned. “Too?”

  “Just like Mom.”

  Behind him, Brooke gasped. “Wait a minute—are you saying you pretended you didn’t like her? So you couldn’t get hurt?”

  It felt like his face was on fire. “I guess. Maybe.”

  “Well, that was stupid,” his sister said, smacking his shoulder. “Because Sabrina’s nothing like Mom! Nothing!” Her voice cracked. “You drove her away, bozo!”

  “It’s more complicated than that, guys,” Dad said quietly, like he was really tired. “Not that your attitude helped, Wes, but that alone wouldn’t have been enough to scare her off. Not our Bree.”