by Beth Wiseman
“It’s about Linda,” Abe continued.
“What’s she done?” Matt didn’t look up, but snickered.
Abe sighed as he stifled his irritation at Matt’s comment. “She didn’t do anything.”
Matt closed the brochure. “Then what is it?”
Abe stared straight ahead and wondered why he hadn’t planned out this conversation. He’d prayed that it would just come to him. “Your sister is adopted. Your Mamm and I adopted her when she was two-weeks-old. We should have told you before now, but as we speak, Linda is spending time with the woman who gave birth to her.” Abe glanced to his right. Matt’s eyes were wide, his jaw dropped. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you before now.”
“Are you serious?” Matt raised his brows at his father.
“Ya. I’m serious.”
Matt looped his thumbs beneath his suspenders and sat taller. “I knew there was something different about her. That explains it.” Then he chuckled.
“Shut up, Matt! Just shut up! You’re just stupid, and . . .” Luke slammed both hands on the top of the seat in front of him.
“No, you’re stupid!” Matt twisted in his seat, his eyes blazing with anger.
“Whoa!” Abe quickly pulled the horse and buggy to the side of the road. “Both of you, stop it this minute!”
“Daed, is it true?” Luke leaned forward into the front seat. “Is Linda really not our sister?”
Abe twisted in the seat to face his youngest son, whose eyes were filled with tears. “Linda will always be your sister. No matter what.”
“I don’t understand then.” Luke’s bottom lip trembled.
Abe looked at Matt, who was staring straight ahead, his lips pressed firmly together. Matt always hid his feelings with anger, so Abe wasn’t surprised at his reaction. He focused on Luke as he spoke.
“Your Mamm and I tried to have children for quite a while. When the Lord didn’t bless us with any, we began to think that perhaps we just weren’t able to have any kinner. Linda’s birth mother was seventeen and pregnant at the time, and a lawyer made an arrangement for us to raise Linda as our own.”
Matt kept staring straight ahead, but grunted. “Ya, I reckon someone should have mentioned this before now.”
“Does Linda know yet?” Luke’s voice trembled as he spoke.
Matt spun around. “Aren’t you listening? Daed said she’s with that woman now.”
“Matthew, that is enough. You watch that tone of voice. Do you hear me?” Abe leaned forward toward his son.
Matt turned back around and stared straight ahead. “Yes, sir.”
“Linda’s my sister.” Luke held his head up high. “No matter what.”
Abe smiled. “That’s right. Nothing is going to change.”
“Everything has changed.” Matthew shook his head, and Abe knew that his oldest son was taking this harder than he let on. When Abe saw Matt’s bottom lip quiver, he reached over and laid a hand on Matt’s shoulder.
“I know you boys are hurting right now. Your mamm and I are hurting too. But this will take a toll on Linda more than anyone, and I need you boys to be strong for her. She is still your sister.”
Abe faced forward, grabbed the reins, and flicked the horse into motion. He looked forward, but he saw Matt swipe at his eyes.
He knew his boys were strong young men. It was just going to take them a little time. That’s all. Time.
We should have told them all sooner.
But for now, there was nothing else to say. Abe raised his chin and kept his eyes straight ahead.
Josie pulled the car to a stop in front of Linda’s home, sad that their time together was coming to an end.
“Danki for showing me all the pictures and for buying mei lunch at Katie’s Kitchen.” Linda reached for the handle on the passenger door, but first turned to Josie and smiled. “And for letting me put on some of your perfume.”
“You’re welcome.” Josie’s mind was spinning. There hadn’t been enough time. Linda pushed the car door open. “Linda?”
“Ya?”
Josie couldn’t say anything for a moment; it was like looking into a mirror seventeen years ago, except that Josie would have been wearing blue jeans, a T-shirt, and her hair in a ponytail, but Josie recognized herself in Linda’s face for sure. “Would you like to do something on Saturday? I don’t really know what’s allowed, and I wouldn’t want to do anything to upset your parents. I guess movies aren’t something you can do, or—”
“I can.” Linda’s face brightened. “I’m in mei rumschpringe, so I can go to movies and do things in the Englisch world.”
“Want me to pick you up around noon?”
Linda tapped her finger to her chin. “Would you mind if we made it around three, so I’ll have time to finish my Saturday chores?”
“Sure.”
Linda smiled, then pushed the door open and stepped out of the car. Josie watched her walk up to the house, unfamiliar feelings rising to the surface and filling her with a love she didn’t think she’d ever known.
As Linda tiptoed into the house, an overwhelming feeling of guilt overtook her. She’d had a good time with Josie and found her to be kind, generous, and fun to be around. Linda liked the way she smiled, too, the way she looked. She was pretty, and Linda couldn’t help but wonder if people thought she was pretty too, like Josie. She sniffed her wrist, the spot where Josie had sprayed the sweet-smelling perfume.
“Hello.”
Linda jumped when she heard her mother speak to her from the bottom step of the stairs. She was holding a broom, and more guilt consumed Linda as she realized that her chores fell on her mother today. Linda crossed the den and reached for the broom.
“I’ll finish up. I’m sorry I was gone so long. I didn’t know—”
Mamm pulled the broom back. “No, no. I’m done, and no harm done. Let’s sit. I want to hear all about your day with . . .” She paused. “What is that sweet smell?”
Linda could feel her cheeks reddening. “Josie let me try a little of her perfume.” She held her wrist up, just in case her mother wanted to get a better whiff. She didn’t. Linda followed her to the couch and took a seat beside her.
“Did you go to Katie’s Kitchen?”
“Ya, we did. Anna Marie was our waitress.” Anna Marie was Ben and Martha King’s daughter, and Linda had grown up with her.
“Did you tell Anna Marie who—who you were dining with?”
Linda shook her head. “No, Mamm.”
Her mother let out air she’d seemed to be holding. “What else did you do?” Mamm clenched her lips tight, and Linda wasn’t sure how much to say.
“Not much.” She shrugged.
Mamm twisted on the couch to face Linda. “Linda, you don’t have to be afraid to share with me.” She looked down. “Or, if you’re not comfortable, I understand.”
Linda didn’t say anything for a moment as she tucked her chin. Then she looked up to see her mother waiting for some sort of response. “She’s nice.”
“Gut.”
This was the first time Linda had ever felt awkward talking to her mother, and it was the one time when she felt like she needed her the most. “She has the fanciest house I’ve ever seen, Mamm. And it’s big.” She paused and checked her mother’s expression. Mamm smiled, but not a full smile. “She’s married too. But they don’t have any other—I mean any children.”
Her mother nodded, then her eyes warmed, and Linda’s stomach settled a little bit. “You’re very pretty, like she is.” Mamm pushed back a strand of hair that had fallen from beneath Linda’s kapp.
“I always thought I looked like you,” Linda said sheepishly. “That’s what everyone always said.”
“Ya, people have always said that. They say you have my cute little pug nose.” She playfully poked Linda’s nose. Linda smiled.
“Mamm.” Linda reached for her mother’s hand. “You should have told me a long time ago about Josie.”
Her mother twisted her head and star
ed at the wall to their left. “I know.”
“But nothing is going to change. I love you. You are my mother and will always be my mother.”
Mamm kept her head turned toward the wall, but reached up and swiped at her eye. When she turned to face Linda, all Linda wanted to do was crawl in her lap like she’d done when she was a little girl and have her mother stroke her head, the loving way only a mother can. When Mamm opened her arms, Linda folded into them, and they both held each other for several minutes.
“She wants to see me again on Saturday afternoon,” Linda said after a while. She felt her mother instantly stiffen, and she wondered if perhaps she’d forbid her to go.
“I suspected that she would want to spend more time with you.” Mamm eased out of the hug, cupped her hand under Linda’s chin, and said, “And that is all right.”
Linda felt relief, but there was something about the way her mother spoke that made Linda suspect that it wasn’t as all right as Mamm let on.
Josie had a spring in her step that she didn’t remember having for years, and it had been a long time since she’d used her fine china and set the table in the formal dining room, complete with candles and fresh flowers. She stepped back to inspect her work. Perfect. She heard the front door open, glad that Robert was on time. She had so much to tell him. The timer on the oven dinged, and she headed back to the kitchen. She pulled the pan from the oven just as Robert entered the kitchen. She looked up in time to see him glance into the formal dining room.
“I take it things must have gone well today.” He placed his briefcase on the kitchen counter, waited for her to put the pan down, then wrapped his arms around her.
“Oh, Robert. It was a perfect day.” She buried her head in his chest and squeezed him tightly.
He gently eased her away. “Josie, I’m so glad, and I want to hear all about it, but I have some news for you.”
She arched her brows. What could possibly be more important than her news?
“Remember Dr. Noah Stoltzfus, the doctor who put me in touch with some people at Lancaster General regarding Amanda?”
She nodded.
“Well, Noah also knows someone whose specialization is the type of inoperable tumor that you have.”
No, no. Don’t ruin this day. She pulled away, turned her back toward him, and combed a hand through her hair. “Robert, I don’t want to see any more doctors. I’ve seen plenty, and they all say the same thing.”
Robert gently spun her around, cupped her cheek, and gazed lovingly into her eyes. “Just one more, Josie. Please. Do it for me.”
Josie twisted her mouth to one side, then the other. “I thought Dr. Stoltzfus ran a small clinic and catered mostly to the Amish community.”
“He does. But he used to work at Lancaster General, and he has friends there. You know how hard it can be to get an appointment with a really good specialist. It can take months.” They both looked at each other, and there was no need to verbalize what was on both their minds—how many months? “Please,” he said again, his eyes begging her. He kissed her on the cheek. “I invited him and his wife for dinner. Can we set two more place settings?”
Josie pushed away from him. “Robert, why didn’t you give me any warning?” She thrust her hands on her hips. “And I have so much to tell you about my day with Linda, and . . .”
“I know, baby. I tried to call all the way home and kept getting ‘call failed.’ . . . And I want to hear every little detail about your day with Linda. I’m so happy for you. But I think it’s important for you to meet Noah. I’ve met his wife several times when I’ve been at his clinic. I think you’ll like her.”
Josie let out a heavy sigh. “I guess I don’t have much choice. Let me go get two more place settings.”
Robert gently grabbed her arm. “Hey, come here, you.” He pulled her close again, cupped the nape of her neck, and whispered, “I’m not giving up. Do you hear me?”
Josie eased away and looked him in the eyes. “This was such a good day for me, Robert. I just want to share it all with you, and I’m so tired of talking about medical stuff.”
“Tonight, over a glass of wine, after our guests are gone, I want to hear every little detail of your day with Linda.” He paused with pleading eyes. “But let’s hear about Noah’s specialist. Please.”
Josie forced a smile for Robert’s sake. She’d accepted her fate years ago. It terrified her, but she’d accepted it. Robert hadn’t. “I hope they like beef parmesan and fettuccini,” she said in a pouty voice.
“They will love whatever you made. They will love you.” He kissed her on the lips, then pulled away when they heard a knock at the door.
“They’re here.”
7
JOSIE HAD BARELY ADDED THE EXTRA PLACE SETTINGS when Robert opened the door.
“Carley, Noah, so nice to see you.” Robert stepped aside so the couple could enter. Josie joined them in the foyer, and she tried to mask her disappointment by forcing a smile. Good thing she’d chosen her good china.
“This is my wife, Josie.”
Josie extended her hand to Carley, then to Noah. “So nice to meet you both.”
Robert motioned everyone toward the living room, and he wound his way around the wet bar in the corner. “Can I get anyone a drink before dinner?”
“No, we’re fine,” Noah said as his eyes scanned the room. “This is a beautiful home you have.”
“It really is.” Carley smiled at Josie.
“I’m still unpacking boxes. I should already be done.” Josie waved her arm around the room where a few boxes were still pushed up against the walls.
“It takes time.” Carley smiled warmly. “But you’ve done an amazing job so far. It’s really pretty.”
I want our home to be perfect for Robert after I’m gone. “Thank you.” She paused. “Robert said you have a daughter?” Josie walked toward the couch, sat down, and motioned for Carley to do the same. Robert and Noah sat down in high-back chairs facing the couch. “I thought he said her name is Jenna? How old is she?”
Carley’s face lit up at the mention of her daughter, and Josie could certainly understand that. “Jenna is nine, and we’ve had her for four glorious years. We adopted her when she was five.”
“Really?” Josie crossed her legs and leaned forward. “From an agency?”
“No. Actually, Jenna’s parents died and her older sister, Dana, had been raising her, but when Dana went off to college, she asked Noah and I if we would like to adopt Jenna. Noah was a good friend of their family before he and I got married.” Carley paused. “I couldn’t have any children, so we felt very blessed to be able to adopt Jenna.”
“Josie recently reconnected with her daughter that she gave up for adoption,” Robert said, much to her horror. How could he possibly bring up something so personal to these people she didn’t even know? She cut her eyes at him in a way that told Robert he’d messed up. “She was very young,” he added, as if that would make up for his blunder.
“Well, we are big advocates of adoption,” Noah said. “I think it’s a wonderful thing you did. You said you recently reconnected?”
Even though Noah directed the question to Josie, Robert stepped in once more. “The main reason we moved here is so that Josie could find her daughter. She’s seventeen now. This is where Josie used to live, in Lancaster County.”
“It was an open adoption,” Josie added. This was not how she had envisioned her night at all, sharing something so personal with total strangers. She’d looked forward to a quiet dinner with Robert and an opportunity to share everything with him about her day with Linda. To make things even worse, a knot was building in her throat, and she choked back tears. She could feel Carley’s eyes on her.
“Josie, I’d love to see your house.” Carley stood up, and Josie stood up beside her.
“Sure.”
“You girls go ahead,” Robert said. “Okay with you, Noah? I’ll show you around later.”
Noah nodded, and Carley
followed Josie around the corner and down a hallway lined with four bedrooms. “This is our bedroom,” Josie said as her emotions about everything continued to build.
Carley didn’t seem too interested in the bedroom, but instead stood staring at Josie, and then did the most unexpected thing. She walked toward her, grabbed her hand, and said, “You looked like you were about to lose it in there. Are you all right?”
Josie clutched this stranger’s hand. Shallow gasps escaped, she bit her lip, and shook her head. As a tear fell, she let go of Carley’s hand and wiped it away. “I’m so sorry. I’ve just had a very emotional day, and I just didn’t expect Robert to bring up the subject of Linda.”
Carley’s eyes were kind and sympathetic. “Yes, I could tell that it bothered you. You don’t even know us. Is that your daughter’s name? Linda?”
“Yes. I spent the day with her today for the first time since I gave her up for adoption seventeen years ago.”
“Oh my gosh. We shouldn’t even be here.” Carley shook her head. “I’m sure you want to spend time with your husband and tell him all about it.” She smiled. “Instead, Robert drags in dinner guests.”
“No, no. It’s fine, really.” Josie was starting to feel somewhat comfortable around this woman. “It’s just very—very personal.”
“Of course it is. We don’t have to talk about it at all. I just thought you might want to get away from the men for a few minutes. Men. They’re so insensitive sometimes.”
“Yes, they can be.” Josie appreciated Carley’s attempt at lighthearted humor.
“When we adopted Jenna, I worried about so many things. I know that I was on the other end of the spectrum, but if you ever want to talk, please call me. I know that tonight, Noah wants to talk with Robert and you about a specialist at Lancaster General who deals with the kind of tumor you have.” Carley took a deep breath. “Wow. You have a lot going on, huh?”
Josie smiled. “You could say that. But I know everything is going to work out fine.”
“I will pray for you, Josie. For you. For Linda. And for good news from this new doctor.”