Catherine had just turned off the light and lay in the darkness with her mama lyin’ on Dominic’s side. She’d always loved sleepin’ with Mama when she had a heavy heart, even as a child, remembering now, how tender and comfortin’ she was then, just as she was tonight. Nothing quite like a Mama … although she’d said a few things Catherine simply couldn’t go along with. Still, there was something in the way Mama said it or explained it that never made you angry or resentful. She was just as feminine as ribbons and lace and violets and smellin’ of sweet verbena, that hauntingly delicious smell which Catherine could never remember Mama not smellin’ from, no matter how early in the morning. Catherine, or anyone else for that matter, had never seen her without her hair dressed to perfection or her face done up with delicate color. She was soft-spoken, and a lady … and that was no lie. She had impeccable taste, much better than I have, thought Catherine … not so flamboyant. Much more serene about everythin’ … how to handle men. She’d kept Daddy happy all those years in spite of the fact he strayed, hadn’t she? Which must’ve meant that for all the clingin’ vine exterior and the appearin’ to be so flighty, lovin’ parties and clothes, underneath it all some steel. And Catherine had never realized how strong she was until tonight. Funny, when she thought about it … she didn’t really know her Mama at all that well… now did she?
“Mama?” Catherine said softly. “You sleepin’?”
“No, baby … no, just layin’ in the dark and thinkin’ … same as you.”
“Mama?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Mama, tell me the truth, now.”
“I surely will, Catherine. No use bein’ deceitful to your own children. What’s your question, sugar?”
“Mama … you think I handled things wrong with Dominic?”
“Yes, I do, darlin’.”
“How should I have done it? Knowin’ he was carryin’ on with that slut?”
“Well, now, lovin’ heart, you always had one thing I wished you didn’t have … not that I love you less for it… but your temper is like your darlin’ Daddy’s … and if I could say you had a fault, I would say it was that.”
“I know it, Mama, it always gets me into the worst kinda trouble. There’s just somethin’ about it … before I can stop myself there I am, blowin’ off like a storm …”
“And then you regret it… am I right?”
“How’d you know?”
“Cause you’re just like your Daddy. You’re so much alike, you coulda been one.”
“I know, but yet he was so lovable.”
“And so are you, sugar, except that you allow your anger to get in the way of your better judgment.”
“Well, for heaven’s sake, Mama, no one’s perfect … I just expect the people I love to understand me.”
“Catherine, baby, husbands aren’t mothers. They’re males that have to be nurtured along like hothouse plants.”
“And if you’re not willin’ to give into every whim, then what?”
“You lose ’em.”
“Now, Mama, that’s a little silly because in spite of all your understandin’ about men, Daddy strayed, didn’t he?”
“Yes, but I never lost him, did I?”
Catherine seemed sobered by that fact. “And I’ve lost Dominic … that’s what you’re tryin’ to say?”
“I don’t know, darlin’ … first thing you have to ask yourself is how much do you want him?”
“Well … I’d never admit this to anyone but my very own mother … I love Dominic in spite of the way he offended me … I really love him, but I saw red when I found out he had replaced me … makes a woman feel mighty inadequate. I wanted to get even with him. Now, that’s not so difficult to understand, is it …?”
“No … but you went about it in the wrong way. You sent him flyin’ right back into her arms.”
“Alright, you bein’ so smart and all, what should I have done?”
“You should’ve made things so nice and comfortable for him, he never would’ve thought of this woman as a permanent fixture in his life.”
“And how could I have done that… I did everything I could have in the past to make life happy for him … I gave him all those precious children.”
“Catherine … listen to me. Husbands don’t stay with their wives because of children. They stay because of their wives … now, I can’t put my head on your shoulders, but you’ve got a way of diggin’ and diggin’ at a man until he wants to turn to someone for a little peace and quiet.”
“Do I really do that?”
“Yes, you do, sugar. You’re a little too forceful, too demandin’. Now, you can put a man on a long, long leash and let it out just so far, then gently pull it back.”
I don’t know … I’m just downright confused about how to do that.”
“Alright, let me give you a small example. Don’t keep tellin’ a man about the great gift of motherhood. He gets tired of hearin’ it.”
“Beggin’ your pardon for interruptin’, but Dominic said that to me.”
“Well, he gave you the clue. Now, the point is, if a woman listens to what her husband says, she can have it all, if she lets him believe it was his idea in the first place … what she’s really doin’ is havin’ it her way without him knowin’ it.”
“My goodness, Mama, you’re just about the smartest lady I ever encountered.”
“Why, thank you, Catherine … it’s mighty nice to have your child admirin’ you … but the thing I’m most interested in is how serious you’re takin’ all this and how understandin’ you’re bein’.”
“I know one thing … what you’re sayin’ makes a lot of good old sense … how did you get Daddy back?”
“Well, in an odd kinda way, I never lost him. I simply played the game of make believe, keepin’ up all the pretenses, givin’ lots and lots of parties on Saturday nights, especially poker parties, which Daddy loved, you remember, and mistresses hate bein’ alone on Saturdays. I got tickets for every show and theater, made plans to take a trip up north, out west, it didn’t make one damned little bit of difference where we went, so long as I kept his mind occupied and away from her … and after a while I knew it was over because he said to me one day, ‘Violet, I got a big surprise’…‘What’s that,’ I said … ‘We’re goin’ to Italy for a long trip.’”
“I think that’s wonderful, but my situation is a little different than yours. Dominic traveled so damned much through the years … handsome as he is … I don’t know how many women he might’ve slept with.”
“Alright, Catherine, that’s the first mistake you made.”
“And what do you mean by that?”
“Now, now, baby, this is Mama speakin’. Don’t get mad …”
“I’m not, but I just can’t be wrong about everything now can I?”
“I’m not sayin’ that, Catherine, and I’m surely not sayin’ that what Dominic did was right, but you should have gone with him when he wanted you to.”
Catherine switched on the lamp and sat up in bed. “I’m surprised at you, Mama, knowin’ I had little babies.”
“But they weren’t so little after a while … you still could have left them in competent care. Money was never the problem.”
“And you don’t think my first duty was to my babies?”
“No, I surely don’t, Catherine,” she answered softly, “I think your first allegiance was to your husband … like the Bible says, forsakin’ all others.”
“And you would have left Rosa Ann and me?”
“You can bet your pretty little pink foot I woulda, if it came to your Daddy.”
“Well, I’m sure learnin’ a lot about you I never knew.”
“Maybe that’s a pity, Catherine … perhaps if you’d known me better, you might not have lost Dominic.”
Catherine’s heart began to pound, “You think I’ve lost him … for good.”
“Well, darlin’, it wasn’t more than an hour ago you said you’d never take him back.”
“I know, but that was an hour ago … and after talkin’ this over, I think, for no other reason than that twenty-one year old investment, I shouldn’t be too hasty. After all, why should Dominic have her and why should she, the dirty bitch, have my Dominic … I’ve learned a lot from you, Mama, I can tell you that.”
“Have you really, baby?”
“Yes, indeed I have … now, tell me how do I go about gettin’ Dominic back without him knowin’ how many regrets I have about the things I did that night … which was not the kind of ladylike thing to do … I can see that, Mama, and I truly am filled with remorse. I showed myself in the worst possible light. I was so mad that I lost my dignity and that’s something I hope I never do again.”
“I hope so, Catherine, sugar … I hope so.”
“I wouldn’t, I promise you that… now, what do I do?”
“Alright… first, you let Dominic go on with this woman.”
“Slut, you mean…”
“Now, Catherine, let’s be calm … one can always strategize better with a clear head.”
“Sorry, Mama.” Catherine was beginning to enjoy the intrigue. “Go ahead.”
“Alright… leave him alone … for a while. Don’t you think, for one moment, that somewhere down deep, his home and family aren’t somethin’s he’s gonna miss because he is … now, when a man carries on an illicit love affair in the beginnin’ there’s all the excitement of forbidden fruit that makes it excitin’ … like doin’ anythin’ that’s naughty, but given a little freedom, you’d be surprised how quickly the heated passion disappears because it’s no longer wicked. And suddenly, he begins to feel cut adrift without an anchor.”
“You sure?”
“I should know.”
“Then how long does it take for him to begin to have all those doubts?”
“I can’t say, but one thing I know is, if you give him enough rope, he’ll have second thoughts.”
“Well, what can I do to hurry it along? I don’t want him with that disgustin’ woman any longer than need be.”
“Patience, Catherine, patience … alright now, in the next few weeks, you have the children start callin’ and sayin’ how much they miss him, then after a little while, you tell the children to ask Daddy home for dinner and when he comes, you act as sweet as can be. But not so sweet as to give him the idea that what he’s doin’ is wrong, just be natural and pretty soon he’s gonna ask to come over.”
“Do you really think so, Mama?”
“I surely do … then with your permission, I’m gonna visit his Mama and I’m also gonna call Dominic and see him … after all, I’m his mother-in-law and I never did or said a thing he ever resented.”
“That’s true, Mama. In fact, Dominic always had the deepest affection for you and Daddy.”
“Alright, you just leave it up to me and I think if we do this right, Dominic will be home … happy to be.”
Her Mama had given Catherine hope that things were going to work out, except one thing still bothered her. “Mama, I know you’re tired and we’ve done a lot of important talkin’, but let me ask you a very delicate question.”
“Yes, sugar?”
“Can you ever make love again knowin’ your husband slept with someone else?”
“Of course, if you remember that his sleepin’ with a strange woman was just like takin’ a hot shower … when it gets that hot, he’s got to turn on the warm, then the cold and when the affair’s cold … it’s cold.”
“Like it never happened?”
“You’re learnin’… now, good night, sugar… or should I say, good mornin’?”
“Good mornin’, Mama, I sure do love you.”
“And I sure do love you, but that’s what Mamas are for … now, shut your pretty little eyes and don’t you fret. I’m gonna stay here till I see my baby happy once again with her husband.”
“Mama … my darlin’ Mama, if only Dominic could see me as you do. I know I do silly things and act independent and all … but that’s really a defense. The truth is, Mama, I love that man so much, I’d really go to hell and gone if I could only reach him, if only I felt I mattered. What I’m sayin’ is, a woman’s got to feel needed and wanted and when it comes down to it, she’s got to feel number one and I never felt any of that with Dominic … why? Just please tell me why?”
“Well, baby, I can’t answer all the questions, but one thing I can quote … It might not be the kind of comfort you’re needin’ just now, but a very smart man once said … I think his name was Oscar Wilde … The quote might be a little wrong … but never mind that, he said, that to a woman, love is all but to a man love’s a thing apart… that’s the nature of man, Catherine baby … that’s life and no one’s been able to change the thing for five thousand years … so come over here close to your Mama, lay your head on my shoulder … no more cryin’ and let’s see how things look after we’ve had a little sleep.”
6
IT HAD BEEN TWO weeks since that dreadful night and now Dominic and Victoria were free to live together. But a change had come over her that made her responsiveness to Dominic’s lovemaking strained. The spontaneity was no longer the same. Not that she loved him less, but her self-esteem had been so crushed. One evening at dinner, he said, “Let’s go away, darling, I think the change would be so good for us.”
She toyed with her food, not looking at him. Then she said, “I’d love to, Dominic, but I really must be here until Thursday.”
“Thursday?”
She looked up, “Darling, I do have a practice, after all… we’re going into court.”
“Couldn’t someone else take over for a few days?”
“I don’t think so, dear, not on this case. It’s really my baby.”
He hesitated, then finally said, “You don’t want to go, do you?”
“That’s not true … of course, I do, but I simply can’t.
“You’ve left cases before.”
“I know, but not this one.”
“I see … Victoria, we’ve never held back with one another. Let’s talk about this.”
“Talk about what?”
“I think you know.” She didn’t answer. “That night affected you so badly you can’t get over it, can you?”
“No …” she answered, biting back the tears.
“Vicky, just tell me what I can do.”
“Darling, what can you do? It’s just me … I’ve never felt ashamed before that night, but that name has rung over and over in my ears. I’m embarrassed to see anyone. I die … simply die, Dominic.”
“Oh, darling,” he said, taking her hand and guiding her to him until she sat on his lap, “do you realize how important that night was … if it hadn’t happened, we wouldn’t be together.”
“I know, but the way it happened …”
“I grant you, that was unforgivable … and it doesn’t make you feel any better, I’m sure, but the one that made an ass, a fool, a spectacle of herself was her. She acted mad … insane.”
“But that affected me … us.”
“No, it’s made us even stronger, now we can be together—”
“But you miss your children.”
“Of course I do.”
“Then can you be happy with me alone?”
“Vicky, no one is happy about everything. One thing has to outbalance the other … I love my children, I always will, but they’re going to be grown up soon and I want you.”
“Oh, Dominic, it all seems so wrong …”
“Look, do you remember when we first met, you asked if I could share your life without feeling wicked. I’m begging you to accept what we have and somehow, someway, this will resolve itself.”
“Do you think so, Dominic?”
“I know so, darling … now, please do this for me … forget about Thursday. Some one can take over for you and let’s go to Hawaii.”
“Oh, God, Dominic, maybe what we do need is to get away.”
“I know it is. You’ll go?”<
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“Oh, yes, darling … yes.”
The week in Maui was the panacea Victoria needed so badly to restore her spirits. They swam in the surf, sunned on the beach, lunched on the terrace, dressed elegantly for dinner, danced in the moonlight and made love to the sounds of the sea caressing the shore. The world was beautiful once again with the fragrance of tropical flowers that wafted through the air. It was a paradise from which Victoria wanted never to depart, but she left with a feeling of renewed hope that somehow she would be able to cope with whatever challenges lay ahead for both of them.
When Dominic sat in his office the next day after their return, going through his mail, he found a message from Gina Maria … he looked at the date. She had called three days ago. He realized, in that moment, how much he missed her, in spite of the fact he had tried desperately to shove aside his feelings. Looking at his watch he knew she would be in school. He took out his private telephone book from the desk and found the number. Dialing, he thought next month would be Thanksgiving. This would be the first time the family would not be together. Roberto was away … Dom and Tory, of course, would be home, but like Roberto, he too would be in exile … this would be the first holiday in nearly twenty years that he would be spending outside the family circle …
His thoughts were interrupted by the voice answering the phone. “Yes, this is Mr. Rossi, would it be possible to speak to Gina Maria?”
“Let me see what class she’s in.” Dominic waited… “I think she’s in calisthenics. Will you hold on?”
“Yes.”
“It will take a few minutes.”
“Well, then, could she return my call?”
“Yes, Mr. Rossi.”
“Thank you.”
“Not at all… it will be very shortly.”
Dominic busied himself with his correspondence. When his private phone rang, he picked it up, immediately. “Hello, Gina Maria,” he answered excitedly.
“Yes, Papa … I’m so happy you called. You’ve been away.”
“Yes, cara mia, but I’ve missed you so much.”
“Me too, Papa, every day. Papa, when are you coming home?”
He swallowed. “I don’t know… has Mama talked to you?”
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