Sensible and Sensational (The Jane Austen Diaries Book 6)

by Jenni James

  “She’s had a thing for me for years. We’ve been friends forever, and in classes together as long as I can remember. So when she brought it up one night, I thought, what the heck? Sure. I was angry at my dad at the time, and it seemed like the perfect way to get back at him. A secret girlfriend. He couldn’t tell me what to do. I’d just …” His voice trailed off. “Look, I’m really sorry.”

  My elbow was itching like crazy. I had to play this cool. “For what?”

  “For hurting you.”

  “Who says you’ve hurt me?”

  He wasn’t buying it. The dork didn’t believe for a second that I wasn’t into him. How was he able to read me so well? “Ellyn?”

  “Yes?” I put my hand up. “Look, it’s no big deal, okay? We’re friends, yes?”

  Those eyes of his tugged at my heartstrings. “Please?”

  “Of course. And a friendship is all I could imagine or hope for anyway. So don’t worry about it.”

  “But if I ever came across like I was a liar or something the last day or so, just know that I wasn’t. Not one part of me was a lie around you. You do fascinate me. You’re amazing. You’re—”

  “Not your girlfriend,” I reminded him gently. “Now, stop. This is silly.”

  He looked like he was going to say something, then changed his mind. “You’re right. I hate it, but you’re right. I’m not the cheating kind. And Loni loves me, and I’m talking too much as it is. So I’m just going to walk back into the office, and we’ll pretend this conversation never happened.”

  “Okay.”

  “Ever.” He was still looking at me.

  I didn’t think my chest could take much more. “Okay.”

  Suddenly, he took my hand. “But if anything changes, can we start again?”

  Gah! Don’t give me hope. I couldn’t handle the stress of hoping something awful would happen to him and Loni. “I don’t do ‘ifs.’ I can’t do them. I wouldn’t be able to think of anything else.”

  He nodded. “Why do you have to be so amazing?”

  I had to laugh. “You don’t even know me. Who’s to say that after a week with me, you wouldn’t be looking at the next girl anyway? I could be the most annoying person on the planet, for all you know.”

  Zane leaned forward, placed a very unexpected kiss on my cheek, and whispered, “I doubt it. I’ve never felt this way before, and I can’t imagine ever feeling this way again.” Then he turned around and walked into the office without another word.

  For the first time in my life, my knees completely turned to jelly. Everything Maralyn had ever said about romantical things all came bounding back into my memory—and yet nothing seemed to replace the words Zane had just said to me.

  Those had to have been the most perfect words ever spoken. After a few minutes of quiet reflection—where my mind was anything but quiet, racing through each and every part of the conversation—I finally decided that now would be a good time to go to class.

  I was floating. It honestly felt like my shoes weren’t touching the floor. How was this possible?

  But as I opened the door to chemistry, the reality of everything that had just happened hit me like a backpack full of books. The one guy I’d set my hopes on was already taken. Why did I have such awful luck? And how was I supposed to keep this secret from my family? They were so excited for me. I couldn’t move.

  Thirty kids turned in their seats to stare at me.

  I shut the door again.

  The teacher came out into the hall and commented that I didn’t look so great and should probably head to the office. But I couldn’t. Not yet. I needed a few minutes to myself. “Give me a little bit,” I said.

  “Really—you can’t just stand here in the hall. It’s against school policy. You either need to be in class or go to the office and call your parents.”

  My parents? There was just one. Parent. I wished Dad was there right now. I wished he was telling me what to do and making it all better—and also telling me what a jerk Zane was. Because he would, and just that small thought could’ve made this whole day better. But Dad wasn’t there.

  And I was alone. Again. Like always. Just like I knew I would be.

  As soon as I began to shake, the teacher stopped waiting for me to compose myself. Instead, he wrapped an arm around me and sort of pushed-walked me toward the office himself.

  Back toward the one place I really didn’t want to be.

  Headed straight for Zane again.

  CHAPTER NINE: Surprise Encounter

  I purposely looked away from the open door of the counselor’s office as the teacher and I headed toward the main desk.

  “Miss Dashwood isn’t feeling very well,” the teacher said as we approached the large countertop. “Can you talk with her and see if she needs to go home?”

  Could he speak any louder?

  “Of course.” The woman behind the counter smiled as she approached us. “What’s wrong, dear?”

  “I’m going back to my class.” The chemistry teacher nodded and left the room before I could say anything.

  Once he was gone, the lady asked again, “What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well?”

  I glanced toward the counselor’s office and didn’t see Zane. “I’m not sure.”

  “Well, are you sick?”

  “No. Not really. I really would rather not go to class, though. I don’t think I could handle it.”

  “Aren’t you one of the new girls?”

  “Yes, my sister and I enrolled yesterday.”

  “That’s right.” She grinned. “You’re Ellyn Dashwood?”

  “Yes.”

  She rummaged through a file of papers and pulled one out. She examined it for a minute and then seemed satisfied. “Well, it says here that as long as a parent has been notified, you’re free to leave campus if for any reason, you don’t feel well enough to attend school. Would you like us to call your mom and let her know?”

  I had no idea. “So I have a ‘get out of jail free’ card?”

  “Pretty much.” She chuckled. “I wish I had one of these when I was younger.”

  I still didn’t get it. “But why?”

  She looked back down at the paper in her hand. “It says here that it’s for medical reasons. Something your mom asked to implement due to a recent tragic event in your family.”

  Ah, yeah. My autism . . . and Dad. How could I have forgotten? I thought about leaving, but what would be better? Hiding at home and being away from school? Or actually sticking it out and facing the worst of it? As fun as it sounded to stay at school and face junk, I took the easy route. “Yes, I’d like to talk to my mom and go home.” Already, my breathing was getting weird again, just thinking of staying.

  Within seconds, the lady was calling my mom. Before I knew it, I was getting my stuff from my locker and heading out the main entrance of the school. The secretary even offered to send a note to my sister to let her know I’d gone home early.

  As soon as I made it outside, I could feel the stress leaving. Wow. How had I not known this was an option before? Had it always been on my records that I could ditch school?

  As I headed toward the parking lot, the tension continued to leave. I’d just reached the sidewalk when I heard a shout behind me.

  “Maralyn!”

  I turned to see if my sister was out here, but saw a sandy-haired guy I didn’t know running toward me. “Maralyn!” he called again. “Wait.”

  I sighed and waited for him to catch up. My elbow itched. This was the hardest part about being a twin—people thinking you were someone else.

  He began to talk before I could set him straight. “Hey, I saw you from the window.” He pointed to the side of the building and then smiled as he approached. “Here. You left your stuff in the music room yesterday.” He handed me a pile of piano books. “You’re leaving early? I hope you’re not sick.”

  I stared at the books for about three seconds before it dawned on me what was happening. Mara must have been playi
ng the piano at school, but I had no idea she still held on to her old books. Since we’d sold the piano to move here, I’d assumed she’d gotten rid of them. “Thank you, but they’re not mine. I’m Ellyn, Maralyn’s twin sister.”

  “Oh!” His tanned face went a bit redder. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve known you weren’t her.”

  My eyebrows rose, and I tried to hide the grin attempting to pop out. “Yeah, no worries. People get us confused all the time.”

  “Well, hey. I’m Skyler Brandon. I guess I should probably introduce myself, especially if I’m gonna chase after you and all.”

  “Hi.” His smile was contagious. “So, do you take a music class with my sister?”

  “Uh, no. I’m actually the student teacher—the aide for Ms. Billington, the choir director. I come here and work kind of like an intern while I get my teaching degree. Maralyn came in during lunch yesterday and used the piano, but forgot her books when she went to class.”

  There was a lot to process. Suddenly, I needed to breathe again. Focus. Answer him about Mara playing the piano. “I had no idea.”

  “She’s crazy good. Probably one of the best pianists I’ve heard in forever.”

  I looked at him funny. I knew she had a way of attracting guys, but come on. This college guy couldn’t have become her fan too. “You really think she’s good?”

  He let out a puff of air. “Yeah, I’m sure she could get into Juilliard if she wanted.”

  “What?” I forgot everything else. “Juilliard? Seriously?”

  He shrugged. “Why not? She must have the piano going twenty-four/seven at home.”

  “Actually, we don’t have a piano anymore.”

  “Wow. She reminds me of a girl who lived in Farmington a couple of years ago, a prodigy. Amanda Ellis. Have you heard of her? She’s really good. Even has a CD out now.”

  “Prodigy? You think Maralyn is that good?”

  “I don’t know. I only heard her once. But I was impressed.”

  Judging by that bashful look, he was probably more impressed with her smile than her playing. Mara loved to play the piano—maybe she was a prodigy—but chances were, Skyler was a little smitten. Then again, who wasn’t smitten by her?

  Wait a minute. Was he the one she was talking about in the hall? No. That guy was named Harrison, and she just met him today. I looked Skyler over closely. He wasn’t the hottest guy I’d ever seen, but he wasn’t bad-looking, either. Kind of one of those nice, normal guys. His green eyes were pretty cool. I’d never seen green that color before—almost like a light lime color or something. “Hey, you have a brown spot in your left eye. That’s cool.”

  Skyler’s eyebrows rose. I realized I probably looked like a dork, staring at him. He handled it okay, though, as he pointed to his eye. “Yeah, I’m blind in this one. The one with the brown speck.”

  “Are you really?”

  “Yeah.” He grinned. “It didn’t stop me from doing everything I’ve wanted to do, though. My parents were worried when I was little, but I’ve never known any different, so it’s just me.”

  All of a sudden, my curiosity kicked in. “Do you mean sports?”

  “Yep. Everything. Football, basketball, swim team. I also love kayaking, rappelling, mountain climbing …all of it.”

  “So, what made you go into teaching?”

  He shrugged. “My love of music, I guess. I’ve always been a big fan. I play a couple of instruments myself and dabbled in choirs and things over the years. And I think I can make a difference, so here I am.”

  How was this guy so awesome?

  He coughed and then looked around. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to stop you. Anyway, when you see Maralyn, let her know I said hi.”

  “How old are you?” I blurted out before I’d thought it through. I quickly tried to cover it up. “You look pretty young.”

  He stepped back and scratched his jaw before answering. “I’ll be twenty this summer.”

  “Nineteen!” I was surprised. “Aren’t you way too young to be an aide?”

  He dipped his head. “Technically, yes. But my dad’s on the Bloomfield school board, and I used to go to this school. Ms. Billington needed someone this year because the band teacher had maternity leave, so Ms. Billington is filling in double duty between band and choir. My dad pulled some strings. I’m now doing online courses from NMSU and I’m up here helping out. I’m volunteering, so it’s not like I’m a real teacher, just an aide—but without as many restrictions.”

  Um, I wasn’t quite sure I’d caught all of that. But I’d definitely caught enough to be impressed. “Wow.”

  “Well, I’ve got to go back in.” He headed back a few more steps and sort of gave me a salute. “Tell Maralyn I said hi.”

  “Thanks. I will.”

  I smiled as I turned around and crossed through the fence onto the sidewalk. It was obvious he was completely into Maralyn. He’d be perfect for her, if she’d give him a chance. Sighing, I looked both ways before crossing the road. The fact that she hadn’t mentioned him meant that she probably didn’t care. Which was a bummer. So, he wasn’t the cutest guy, but he was definitely more interesting than the typical popular guys she usually brought home.

  It didn’t matter. At least she had choices.

  I unlocked the door and walked into the house. Making my way into my room, I dropped the piano books and my bag on the floor and collapsed into the comfy chair next to the bed. I looked around and tried hard not to imagine the large home we’d come from, or the beautiful things we used to have—like Maralyn’s grand piano. It made me a bit sad to remember the way things used to be, but it didn’t matter. All that wealth was nothing more than stuff anyway. Without Dad, it was pointless.

  Thinking about how much Dad had loved to hear Mara play, my mind began to wander, and I thought of all the attention Mara got and all the friends and talents she had. I wasn’t jealous, actually, though I probably could’ve been if I wanted to be. Fact was, for as outgoing and flamboyant as she was, she was still kind. She still cared about others, and she was genuinely talented.

  But as my dad pointed out so often it stuck, I could do marvelous things she’d never imagine. We were both unique, and there was so much to celebrate because of it. I would never be attracted to her boyfriends anyway—at least, not like how I thought of Zane. Which was a stupid thought to have.

  Why hadn’t he just told me about Loni? Why had this been a weird drama moment? I can’t handle those things. I need quiet and stress-free zones, and not the craziness of girlfriends and hurt feelings and all that stupidity.

  I didn’t want him to hurt Loni, either. In fact, if he’d broken up with her because of me, I’d honestly never speak to him again. That kind of disloyalty wasn’t going to work with me. I needed security. I needed an anchor. I couldn’t handle flimsy feelings. And if he’d actually break up with his girlfriend over one day with me, then who’s to say he wouldn’t break up with me after the next girl came along? Oh, no—I couldn’t handle that. I would constantly feel inferior to anyone he spoke with, wondering if he’d fall for her as quickly as he’d claimed to with me.

  No. This was better. If, after a few months down the road, they still weren’t getting along and eventually broke up and then he came back, then maybe I’d consider him. Until then, he was taken, and I had to deal with it.

  I must’ve fallen asleep. The next thing I heard was a loud banging on the front door. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost three. School was already over. I heard the banging again, followed by the doorbell. “Ellyn, hurry and open up!” It was Maralyn. Her voice didn’t sound natural at all. Something was wrong.

  A shot of fear coursed through me. I ran into the living room and opened the door. A tall, dark-haired guy stood there, holding Maralyn in his arms. They both looked stressed.

  My heart leaped to my throat. “W—what happened?” I asked as I moved out of the way to let them in.

  “It’s just a sprained ankle.” He carried her p
ast me and into the living room.

  “I’m okay.” Maralyn grimaced. “Just set me down on the couch.”

  “Do you need me to call Mom? The doctor?” I had no idea what to do, and my brain went completely blank.

  She winced as he sat her down. “Yeah, someone better call Mom. I was a major klutz and tried to—ouch!”

  “Sorry. Are you okay?” the guy asked her.

  Maralyn nodded, but didn’t finish her story, so he did.

  "She tried to chase some papers into the road, but fell right in the middle of the street. The worst part was that she'd been so worried about the papers, she hadn't looked where she was going, and a car nearly hit her."

  I gasped. I don't think I could've spoken if I wanted to.

  "Harrison saved me." Maralyn smiled. "He was this amazing knight in shining armor."

  He looked a bit freaked out, like it was more serious than she was letting on. "I decided I'd better get her off the road before another car had to swerve around her. So here we are."

  CHAPTER TEN: Black Knight

  “I’m fine, Ellyn,” Maralyn said. “I can see it on your face already—you’re beginning to panic. Don’t. Sit with me and I’ll show you—it’s just a twisted ankle, no big deal.”

  “How do you know it’s not broken?” Harrison asked. “You don’t.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’ve sprained my ankle a hundred times. It’s fine.”

  Mara did have a habit of hurting herself, but I needed to be sure. One of us should talk to Mom, too. “Where’s your phone?”

  She reached into her back pocket and pulled it out. I quickly dialed Mom’s number, and then after trying to explain, I handed the phone over to Mara. While she talked, I stared at the guy who’d sat down on the overstuffed chair next to her.

  So this was her dream guy? He looked like a model. I had no idea what to say to him.

  I was silent for a little bit until he asked, “So, are you two twins or something?”

  “Yep.” Sometimes I wondered about people’s mental capacities when they asked such blatantly obvious questions.