Because I Said So: (A Texas Heroes Crossover Novel) (The Hell Yeah! Series)

by Sable Hunter

  The Chief came to greet him. “Light duty for you, brother. I’ve got a pile of data entry to keep you busy.”

  Brodie groaned. “Sounds like torture.”

  Again, he cut his eyes to the back.

  Logan Gray noticed what he was doing. “She’s not here, Brodie. Shane’s gone.”

  Brodie winced, he felt like someone had chopped him across the back of the neck. “Gone? What do you mean?”

  “She asked for a transfer, she’s working for Olsen over in Austin.” Logan frowned. “I assumed you would know.”

  “No. I didn’t.” What did he expect? What did he tell her? Stay out of my sight. If you won’t leave, I will. I never want to see you again.

  She’d taken him at his word. What else was she supposed to do?

  With a half-smile and a resigned sigh, he moved slowly to his office. Opening his door, he noticed nothing had changed – except there was an envelope propped up on his computer with his name scrawled across it, in a distinctively feminine handwriting.

  Brodie

  Snatching up the envelope, he tore it open, his eyes falling to the name at the bottom. Shane. Dammit! He didn’t even recognize her handwriting. After all they’d shared, how crazy was that? Suddenly, he realized how much he’d cheated them. Keeping their relationship within some senseless manufactured boundary, all because he was too afraid to try and live again.

  The rush of emotion through his body, combined with what he’d been through, made him feel weak. Reaching out to snag his office chair, he wheeled it around and sank down to read what she’d written.

  Brodie

  Before I say anything else, let me tell you how relieved and glad I am that you are well enough to come back to work. When Orion showed up at my door, telling me you’d been in the accident, I was devastated. I would never want anything bad to happen to you.

  Having said that, I have to tell you that I cannot and will not destroy our child. To even contemplate such a thing is alien to me. Having known you and loved you, I know in my heart that you didn’t really mean what you said. You work too hard at saving lives to advocate taking one, especially the life of your own child. So, I never entertained the thought and I will forget you ever suggested it.

  As far as the other things you said, I think you were right. The best thing we can do is put distance between us. There are some people we meet who bring out the best in us. For some reason, I brought out the worst in you. I don’t know why; my only desire was to be with you. Our time together was a rollercoaster of blissful highs and devastating lows for me, and I will choose to remember the good times and let the others go.

  I know today is your birthday, so my gift to you is just what you asked for – my absence. As the Chief probably told you, I was able to get a transfer and be out of the office before your return. While I don’t expect to hear from you, all I ask in return is that you not try to contact me. Unlike you, my emotions were involved. I love you. I know you probably think that is funny. Why would a woman fall in love with someone who viewed her only as a willing convenience? You made your disdain for me extremely clear from the beginning. The only explanation I have for my feelings is that I saw the real you. When you look at me, you view me through the veil of your past, you don’t see the real me.

  Enough. No use rehashing something that has already been decided.

  If you ever decide you want to be in your child’s life, I would never stand in your way. Just have your lawyer contact me, and we’ll work something out.

  Again, I hope you are healthy and that you’ll let yourself be happy someday.

  Shane

  Once he’d read the last word, Brodie crumpled the paper and threw it against the wall. “I have fucked everything up,” he muttered.

  * * *

  Each day Brodie lived apart from Shane, he discovered more the truth of an old saying.

  You never know how much you’ll miss something until it’s gone.

  God, he was going crazy. Four days had come and gone since he’d gone back to work and discovered Shane had followed his direction and left town. Tossing and turning, he realized that the bed seemed too big, he was surrounded by an empty expanse on every side.

  Brodie held the pillow she’d lain on to his face. Damn, it still smelled of her shampoo. He closed his eyes, remembering what it was like to be inside of her.

  Hell, he missed her voice.

  He missed her touch – her laughter, the way she said his name, the way she’d held his hand while they slept.

  “Fuck!” he bellowed so loud in the empty house, his voice echoed.

  What was she doing?

  Who was she working with?

  Was she being careful?

  Was she taking care of herself?

  Did he call or do as she asked…as he’d demanded?

  Brodie groaned, the pain almost more than he could bear.

  The truth was – he missed Shane Wilder with every fiber of his being. Everything reminded him of her, from the calls he went on to the damn sheets on his bed.

  Rising from the bed, he paced around his room. The clock showed eleven-thirty-two. Knowing her sleeping habits, she probably wasn’t asleep. Before he could change his mind, he took his phone and dialed her number.

  …In her new apartment in west Austin, Shane sat on the floor of her kitchen, rearranging her plastic bowls. Why did she have more lids than bowls? This was as much a mystery as where the extra socks went to in the dryer. As she worked, she ate Cheetos, licking the yellow cheddar powder from her fingertips.

  Buzz! Buzz!

  “Aunt Bess, you’re up late,” she muttered as she stretched up to grab the phone from the top of the cabinet. Bringing it to eye level, she was about to swipe ‘unlock’ when her vision focused on the named of the caller.

  Brodie Walton.

  Losing her grip, the cell clattered to the floor.

  Shane stared at the phone as if it were a snake ready to strike.

  Her thoughts ranged from joy to fury.

  How dare he call? Why had he waited so long to call?

  Should she answer?

  Pain lanced through her heart. Taking a deep breath, she picked it up. “Yes?”

  Shutting her eyes tightly, Shane braced herself for his voice.

  “Shane.”

  “Brodie.”

  Brodie leaned on the double glass doors that led out to his patio. “How are you?”

  Shane tried to speak. Tears rose in her eyes. She tried again. “Fine. Brodie?”

  “What?”

  “Why are you calling me?” Her voice broke on a sob.

  “I…” He slapped the glass hard enough to sting his palm. “I needed to know you’re okay.”

  “There’s no need for you to worry about me.” She sniffed, wiping her eyes. “You’re the one who almost died.”

  “I was turning around to come back to talk to you.” Brodie hated to hear her crying. “We need to talk.”

  One second hope flared, the next Shane beat it back. “I think we’ve said enough. Nothing’s changed. Has it?” She waited, holding her breath. What would he say?

  “I didn’t mean what I said about the baby.”

  His words were so soft, she almost didn’t hear them. She shut her eyes tightly. “I know.”

  “I need to see you.”

  “Why?”

  Brodie moved to the side of the bed. “I want to go back…”

  She interrupted him. “We can’t go back, Brodie.” In a rush, she just said it. “I have to go. Please don’t call me again.” With a quick swipe of her thumb, she ended the call, her heart breaking anew.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “How are you holding up, Shane?”

  Chief Olsen stood over his newest employee as she organized the medical supply kit in the ambulance. “I’m good, sir. High energy and no nausea.” She gave him a smile. What she said was the truth. If her heart was in as good shape as her body, she’d be in fine form. But few people actually died fro
m a broken heart, so she really had nothing to complain about.

  “Excellent.” Olsen pointed at his men. “You’re surrounded by good people here. They work well together.”

  Shane nodded. “I’ve seen that, sir.”

  Anyone else would probably think she was crazy, but she missed the banter she’d shared with Brodie.

  She missed a lot of things about Brodie.

  But she needed to get over it. Brodie didn’t want her. He might miss the sex, but he could find a replacement easy enough. The hurt she felt at his treatment of her still stung, but her resentment of him had lessened. How could she expect him to want something he’d never asked for? He’d never asked for her love or for a baby and it was wrong of her to think her desires could be his.

  “This has been a quiet week,” Jensen observed. “Having nothing to do is driving me bonkers!” He was doing the same thing to one of the fire trucks that she was doing to the ambulance, a general upkeep and inventory.

  “Don’t borrow trouble, Kincaid,” Maverick cautioned the younger man. “As soon as you voice your concern at our lack of calls, we’ll be inundated with them.”

  Sure enough, five seconds later, the alarm sounded.

  In a few seconds, the unbelievable news rang out.

  “There’s a shooter on Sixth street. We’ve got casualties. Let’s roll!”

  Shane didn’t even hesitate; this was exactly what she’d trained for. Holding to the window, she let her eyes drift shut as they made the five-mile journey from Westlake Hills to downtown Austin. They took the shortest route, which carried them down the winding steep road cut through the hills and down next to the river. Once they crossed Mopac onto 5th street, it became obvious this was not a normal afternoon. Streets were blocked, people who were trying to go closer, were pushed back. The presence of Austin police was everywhere When they drew closer, a cop waved them through. Their place was not on the periphery; their proper place was in the thick of things.

  “Listen to me, men.” Chief Olsen’s voice in their headset caught each of their attentions. “The shooter is still active, but the police commissioner tells me that they have him contained. Go in and bring out the wounded, do not risk yourselves. Do you understand me?”

  This wasn’t a two-way conversation; the Chief didn’t expect answers.

  They drove as close as possible, parked, and began making their way through the entertainment district. As they passed bar after bar, jammed with patrons, Shane could sense their fear, their questions.

  “We’ve got a woman down about half a block ahead. Two more across the street.” Marcus, Chief Olsen’s second in command gave them current information.

  “Where’s the shooter?” another asked over the headset.

  “He’s in one of the parking garages, moving around.”

  Shane didn’t stop to think or consider. She did as she was directed, finding victims, treating them and readying them for transport. Maverick and another of their team carried the victims to the ambulance and she readied to move on to the next person who’d been gunned down by the shooter.

  It had been several years, but Shane had been on 6th Street before. She was struck by the difference between the block party atmosphere of then and the deserted, crime scene feel of now.

  “Help! Help!” She could hear the weak cry of a female voice.

  “Here! Where are you?” Shane cried at the same time that Maverick spoke in her ear.

  “Don’t call attention to yourself, Shane!”

  Shane fell back against the wall, she knew better. Still, the thought of a scared, injured woman spurred her on. “I hear you.”

  “Help!” the voice cried again.

  Something within Shane shifted. She couldn’t help but think of Brodie. She couldn’t help but think of Mary. Just the idea that this woman might have a Brodie at home who would be devastated at her death spurred Shane to push toward her.

  Looking on either side, she bent over, making herself as small a target as possible, and ran across the street.

  Boom!

  She didn’t make it.

  Shane cried out as a bullet tore through her flesh.

  Then, she knew no more.

  * * *

  “CHAOS! CHAOS!” Chris called at the top of his lungs. “The Chief has arrived on site and he don’t look happy!”

  Brodie turned to see what all the noise was about. As his teammate had said, Chief Logan was coming toward them with a look he hadn’t seen on his face before.

  “Brodie!”

  Brodie moved toward him. “What’s wrong, Chief?”

  “There’s a shooter on 6th Street in Austin. The Westlake crew answered the call.”

  Even as he began to hear the words, Brodie felt his body being pulled back in time.

  “Shane’s been hit.”

  Wave after wave of white hot pain swept over him. All of the agony from Mary’s death seemed amplified and multiplied. “NO!” he bellowed at the top of his lungs. “Where is she?”

  Brodie started running for his car, but the Chief himself stopped him. “I’ll take you, you’re in no shape to drive.”

  The events of the next few minutes were an absolute blur for Brodie. Logan got him into a truck and they headed east.

  Brodie didn’t say anything, he couldn’t. All he could process was that history was repeating itself. Again, someone he loved was cut down and he hadn’t been there to stop it.

  Yes, he could admit it now. How sad was that?

  “I love her,” he whispered the words.

  “I know.”

  “She’s carrying my child.”

  Logan groaned, “God, Brodie, I didn’t know. She didn’t tell me.”

  “I stole her joy and I broke her heart. I told her I didn’t want her or the baby.”

  “You didn’t mean that.”

  “No, but I said it. She figured I didn’t mean it, but after I told her to get out of my life, what was she supposed to do?”

  “Well, hold on. We’ll be there soon.”

  “Thanks, Chief.” Brodie bent over, resting his arms on his knees. “When Mary was killed, my world crumbled. I didn’t expect anyone could ever inspire me to live again. Shane did. Every day she pulled me a little closer to her light. Since she’s been gone, I’ve been lost. I was just about to go to her, make her listen, try and convince her to come home…to me.”

  Logan placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

  “I waited too late. I’ve lost her like I lost Mary.”

  “Hold on.” Logan held up a finger as his phone rang.

  Brodie held his breath as his Chief learned new information.

  A few seconds later, he announced. “She’s alive and they’ve caught the shooter. Only one person is dead and eight injured, including Shane.”

  A long, relieved breath escaped Brodie’s lips. “Thank God, I have a second chance.”

  …In the hospital room, Shane lay still, her head facing the wall. She hurt so badly that all she could do was cry. The bullet had hit her between her right breast and her shoulder blade, a clean-through shot. Her team and the doctors had told her over and over again how lucky she was, and she knew they were right, it could’ve been much, much worse. What scared her was the possible effect the drugs they were trying to give her would have on the baby. The doctors kept telling her that there would be no cumulative effect, but she couldn’t ignore the feeling and fear that her tiny baby might be harmed by the powerful painkillers.

  So, she refused them.

  When they’d ask her who to call, Shane had said no one. There was no way she wanted to scare her aunt. She would call the sweet old lady once she felt a bit better and tell her what was going on. The men from work had dropped by, but they all had families of their own. Chief Olsen had stayed with her the longest, but he had to return to work. So Shane hugged herself, grateful she and the baby had one another.

  Hearing the door open, Shane expected a nurse. The staff had been attentive, she had no reason
to complain.

  “Shane.”

  The voice took her by surprise. Shane jerked in the bed, causing untold pain to her shoulder. “Ow!” she yelped.

  “Shane, my God. Where are you hurting?” Brodie came to her side, his eyes raking over her small, pale form, seemingly lost in the stark white bed covers.

  “Brodie, what are you doing here?” Seeing him hurt almost as much as the hole in her shoulder.

  To Shane’s ever loving shock, the big man went to his knees by the bed. He grasped her hand and kissed it.

  She was at a loss; her mind wasn’t functioning. “Get up. You need to go.”

  “I can’t.” He stayed on his knees. “Don’t ask me to, please.”

  Watching Brodie’s reaction made it hard for Shane to breathe. “This isn’t about me, Brodie. Don’t you see? You’re reliving what happened with Mary.”

  “No!” he almost shouted at her. “When I heard you’d been hurt by the shooter, all I could think about was you and the baby. What if I never got the chance to tell you how sorry I am for treating you the way I did?”

  Shane waited a long minute before she replied, “it’s okay, Brodie. I forgive you. I’m going to be just fine. You don’t have to worry.”

  “You don’t understand.” He looked up into her eyes. “I’ve let Mary go, it’s you, it’s all you. You’re the woman I’m meant to be with. I want to start over with you, Shane. I want you to come home with me.”

  A sense of agitation and dismay filled Shane. She tried to sit up and cried out when she did. “Brodie!”

  Brodie jumped to his feet. “Take it easy, baby.”

  “I can’t do this anymore.” Shane placed a hand over her shoulder. “This hurts like hell, but the pain in my shoulder from the bullet is nothing next to the pain you’ve put me through.” He started to speak and she held up her hand. “What you’re feeling now is guilt. Most of our relationship has been you projecting what you felt about Mary onto me, but instead of the love, I got the guilt. You resented me for living, for having the audacity to feel something for you when you clearly belonged to her. And now, you’re reliving your loss of her.” Her voice rose. “You’ve got to stop!”