Beyond the Checkpoint

by Addison M. Conley

  “I love you, Ali. I always have.”

  Ali tenderly kissed her. “I’ve longed to hear those words. I love you, too, and want us to be together. We don’t have to live in the shadows anymore.”

  “I promise to be there for us.” Lynn twirled a strand of Ali’s hair in her fingers. “No more hiding. How about being my date for the work dinner party next month.”

  “Hmmm. Let me see.” Ali tapped her finger on her lips. She giggled. “Absolutely.”

  Lynn hugged her tight. Ali’s giggle tickled against her chest. She kissed Ali deeply, then nuzzled the side of Ali’s face. Taking a deep breath, Lynn let the fragrance of Jasmine petals fill her. Ali moaned as Lynn delicately nibbled and kissed.

  Half lying on Ali with her upper thigh between Ali’s legs, Lynn rubbed her leg slightly up and down as her mouth moved to Ali’s throat, then back to her mouth with hunger. Through labored breaths, she stopped and looked into Ali’s eyes. “Tell me if you are uncomfortable with anything or if you want something.”

  Ali’s eyes glistened and her lips curved into a smile as her finger caressed Lynn’s neck. “Have you ever known me to not speak my mind?”

  Lynn tilted her head. “No. So, my lady, what would you like your knight to do?” She kissed the halo of Ali’s neck.

  “Stop teasing me.”

  Lynn smiled and laid kisses along Ali’s neck and collarbone, and delicately sucked in the skin every now and then. Her heart beat harder as her mouth reached Ali’s breasts and her hand glided past Ali’s stomach, slipping between Ali’s legs. Lynn gently rubbed Ali’s sensitive skin before sliding in two fingers. She stroked while kissing and sucking Ali’s taut nipples.

  She liked the way Ali arched her back and pressed harder into her hand. Nails raked along Lynn’s shoulder blade, then fingers clenched her hair. Ali’s writhing, and the rising buzz in her own body, drove Lynn on.

  When Lynn’s mouth moved lower, Ali whimpered with delight. Keeping up the pace with her fingers, her tongue flicked Ali’s clit, then sucked it into her mouth. Ali arched up, pressing even tighter into her.

  “I want your tongue inside me and everywhere.”

  Lynn nuzzled between Ali’s legs, moving in and out with every subtle cry of pleasure from Ali’s throat. Each reaction gave Lynn joy. She varied her pace, teasing and tormenting, then giving all until Ali’s body relaxed beneath her. She moved up to admire Ali’s gorgeous auburn hair falling over her face. Ali’s eyelids fluttered. Her eyes were dazed and pleased. Ali’s hand wrapped behind Lynn’s neck and drew her in for a long kiss.

  They lay in one another’s arms, and Lynn had never felt so comfortable and at peace as she did now.

  Chapter 45

  September 2017 – Northern Virginia

  Ali rushed to the front of the house and propped the door open wide. “How much does that thing weigh?” she asked as Lynn maneuvered the appliance into the kitchen.

  “Fifty-four pounds. It’s more bulky than heavy.”

  Ali watched every muscle flex in Lynn’s strong arms and shoulders as Lynn anchored the microwave into the mounting brackets and hooked it up to the receptacle in the cupboard above.

  Lynn casually propped her hand on the counter. Her blue eyes gleamed. “I’ve never seen someone get so excited over a microwave.”

  “Well, I’ve never had such a cute handywoman. You should wear sleeveless T-shirts more often.” Ali smacked her on the butt as she walked by.

  “Hey.” Lynn grabbed Ali and drew her in. “Better watch out. If you treat this handywoman too harshly, I might leave the kitchen cabinets half done.”

  “If you don’t finish, then I won’t pay you.” Ali waggled her eyebrows. “And you know my payments are always rich.”

  “Hmmm…I think you’re behind on payments over the past couple of months. Better catch up or I might leave.”

  “Is that so?”

  Ali ran her fingers through Lynn’s hair and took command of her lips. Tongues explored. When Lynn’s hand caressed her back and moved lower, Ali moaned. As Lynn’s lips moved to her neck, Ali’s cell rang. She let it go to voice mail, but it rang again.

  “That ring tone is my sister. I’d better take it since she’s called twice.”

  “I’ll remember where we left off.”

  Ali winked and answered in a chipper voice. “Hi, Denise. What’s up?” She slumped against the counter and wrapped one hand around her forehead and eyes. “Okay…How…All right…Call me when we need to go over arrangements…Bye…Love you, too.”

  It took a few seconds for Ali to realize that Lynn’s hand was on her shoulder.

  Lynn’s words, “Ali, what’s wrong?” finally reached her brain. Ali’s throat constricted, and she could barely swallow. She gazed up into Lynn’s pleading blue eyes, but her vision blurred from the gathering tears.

  “My mom died.”

  “Oh honey, I wish I could make the pain disappear.” Lynn wrapped her tightly and stroked her hair. Ali clung to Lynn, and the pain and tears flowed.

  “I think I need to lie down.”

  Ali sat up. She was alone. She wiped her eyes with a new tissue and shuffled to the bathroom.

  After washing, she stared in the mirror, watching the drops slide down her face and listening to the plink, plink sound as they hit the water surface. Nothing ever seemed to wash away the sadness deep inside.

  Ali opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed the bottle of Advil. Fuck, it’s empty. She hurled it in the trashcan and leaned over the vanity.

  How do you explain love and contempt for your mother? She had said those words before to the therapist. They rang loud in her head now. Her mother could be caring one minute, then overlook…

  Ali crossed her arms over her chest and compressed her body. She squeezed her eyes tight. Her fingers dug into her shoulders. She could hear her mother’s voice from years ago, “Oh, Ali. You know he didn’t mean it. He’s had too many tonight. It will be better tomorrow.”

  Excuses, excuses, excuses. I’m not sure she’d believe me anyway.

  All of Ali’s life, her mother would cut her off or make some excuse whenever Ali tried to discuss her abusive father. Carol Clairmont only saw a tiny bit of what went on. While he was alive, there were the threats to ensure Ali’s silence. After he died, her mother sunk into oblivion. Inside Ali, the hurt pooled and festered until it ruptured like an abscess, bleeding and leaking puss. And every time, Ali would hide the pain and suffer alone.

  Last week, Ali mentioned meeting Lynn. Her mom stood up, waved her hand and said, “I don’t want to be part of your lifestyle,” then walked away.

  Ali uncrossed her arms, opened her eyes, and slammed the mirrored door of the medicine cabinet shut.

  “Hey, are you okay? I’m sorry, but you didn’t answer when I tapped on the door and called out.” Lynn’s arms cradled her from behind. She spun her around and lifted her chin. “It’s going to be okay. I’m here when you want to talk.”

  “What’s there to talk about?” Ali looked down.

  Lynn took her hand. “Tell me what’s wrong. Your family lives within an hour’s drive, but you’ve only said a few things about Denise, and that your mom and two older siblings pretend you’re not a lesbian.”

  After wetting her lips, Ali said, “We had a strained relationship even before I came out. Things were a little better after my dad died.” Her eyelashes fluttered, and her hand covered Lynn’s. “He was not like your dad. I don’t have many good things to say about him.” Ali could hear the disdain in her words. The tears welled up, and she flung herself into Lynn’s arms. “I’m sorry. It’s painful to talk about.”

  “Let’s go sit and relax. You need a good meal.” Lynn’s voice was soothing.

  “The kitchen isn’t finished.”

  “We’ll make do. Besides, we’ve got the microwave. And you know my ability to heat leftovers is legendary.”

  The corner of Ali’s mouth quirked up. “Yep. I remember the time you burned something in Afghan
istan and folks ate outside rather than endure the stench.”

  Lynn threw her hands up to her heart and gave a mock display of being mortally wounded. “I was distracted, but I promise to do good by you, my fair maiden.” She sunk to one knee batting her eyelashes. “Besides, we’ve got some serious problems if I mess up soup. Oh, I also picked up a baguette and brie.” Lynn started to stand and grimaced.

  “Okay. You can dispense with the funny stuff now.”

  “Yes, but can you give me a hand.”

  “You’re serious?”

  “Afraid so. My back gets me every now and then.”

  “God, I hope you didn’t hurt yourself lifting that microwave.”

  “A couple of ibuprofens, and I’ll be fine.”

  “I’m out of Advil, but there might be some in the basement.”

  They ate their meal outside—partially cloudy with a refreshing breeze. Afterward, they watched an episode of Orange Is the New Black and ate popcorn.

  “Thank you for dinner and for not burning anything, especially the popcorn.” Ali tried to keep a straight face but broke out into a snicker. “It was fun and just what I needed.”

  “Do you have any idea when the funeral might be? I’d like to be there for you.”

  Ali bit her lip knowing that Lynn’s presence would cause questions, but she was sick of bending to her family’s wishes. “It would mean a lot to me to have you there.”

  Chapter 46

  September 2017 – Northern Virginia

  Ali was silent as Lynn drove them to Ali’s older sister’s house to receive friends and family after the funeral.

  “Ready for this?” Ali grasped her hand in a strong grip. “Don’t be surprised if you’re bombarded with questions. My family can be polite in public, but watch out if they corner you.” Ali half smiled and wiped her eyes with a tissue.

  “I can handle it.” Ali kissed her lightly on the lips. Lynn enjoyed the feel of Ali’s soft skin. She brushed the back of her hand down Ali’s cheek.

  The gathering was somber at first but grew happy and boisterous as funny stories were shared. Lynn had never seen this much food. Every person showed up with a huge dish. Lynn walked out to the back deck before another one of Ali’s relatives shoved food in her hand. She searched for Ali in the crowd and finally saw her off in the corner with her older brother.

  She discreetly watched from a distance. Ali’s face was contorted, and it appeared that Kevin would cut her off every time she tried to speak. Lynn wanted to desperately go over and stick up for Ali. They soon calmed down, and Kevin hugged Ali.

  “Here’s another iced tea for you.”

  Lynn didn’t need more but politely accepted the drink from Ali’s younger sister, Denise. “Thanks.”

  “Are you my sister’s lover?”

  Lynn coughed. “Congratulations. You take the prize for speed and directness.”

  “Why thank you, Ms. Stewart. Don’t let Kevin and Stephanie’s slick gentle tongues fool you. They hide a lot of bullshit behind the prim and proper façade.” Denise smirked. “And your answer to my question is…?”

  “That is a personal matter that is none of your business. However, I am her girlfriend.” Lynn’s eyes darted around as she took another drink.

  Denise stepped closer. “Sorry. I’ll tone it down since you’re worried,” she pointed around the yard with the drink in her hand, “which you have a right to be. Some of these people are uncomfortable with my sister’s life. I learned early on to keep my mouth shut, especially around our dad.”

  Something told Lynn not to ask, but she wanted to understand. “Oh, how so?”

  “Well, if you are my sister’s girlfriend, then she’s probably already told you he was a drunk, a proselytizing hypocrite, and a misogynistic creep.” Denise’s face was hard.

  “Did he harm any of you or worse?”

  “He was hell on Ali.” Denise’s jaw was tight. “He usually made sure bruises never showed, and he never missed an opportunity to tell Ali what a failure she was.”

  “Did he mistreat you?”

  Denise shrugged her shoulders. “He mainly ignored me. I was the accident. The runt who was eight years younger than Ali, thirteen from Stephanie and fifteen from Kevin.” Her eyes narrowed. “Kevin and Stephanie moved out before dad’s drinking hit rock bottom.” She let out a huff. “Ali got the brunt of his wrath, but she doesn’t like to talk about it. I was only ten when he died, but I saw enough. I understood far more than anyone thought.”

  “I’m sorry. She said your dad was not a good man but didn’t elaborate.”

  “Of course, Kevin and Stephanie always said Ali exaggerates. I think they were like Mom—always minimizing. Kevin lives in his own pretentious little world. You know the kind where families have one mommy, one daddy, and nothing bad ever happens if you play by good Christian rules. Just so you know, I don’t have a stick up my ass.”

  “It’s good you don’t have a problem with your sister being a lesbian. She needs family support.”

  A broad grin spread across Denise’s face. “So, what’s the story with you two? She says you’ve known one another for years.”

  “We met at work, and I’ve been helping her with the house renovations.”

  “No more juicy details?”

  “I don’t kiss and tell, and I think your sister has been through enough lately.”

  “Mom’s death or the bitch Tracy?”

  For a second time, Lynn choked on her drink. “Look. I’m not sure Ali would appreciate you—”

  “Revealing her secrets.” Denise twirled the ice in the glass, making an irritating clinking sound.

  “Hey. Is this girl-talk or can I join in?”

  Denise whirled around. “Sweetie, can you bring us a plate of appetizers?”

  He tilted his head and said, “Guess that’s my cue.”

  As her husband turned to walk away, Denise reached out and patted him on the shoulder. She winked at Lynn. “I’m all for equal rights. If it wasn’t for this uptight crowd, I might have squeezed his butt.” She flicked her wrist. “Anyway, Kevin and Stephanie took after Mom and buried the truth, but don’t let Ali do that to herself.”

  Too surprised at Denise’s bluntness to say anything, Lynn nodded.

  Ali joined them on the deck. “Hey sis, I think it’s time that I punch out.” The two embraced.

  Lynn couldn’t help but notice that Ali’s posture toward Denise was more relaxed than with her two other siblings. The hugs also seemed to last longer.

  “Now that I’m not traveling so much for work, let’s have dinner in the next week.” Denise’s smile widened. “I’d love to chat more with your girlfriend. It would be fun.”

  “Sounds great. I’ll text you.” Ali grabbed Lynn’s hand. “We need to say goodbye to Stephanie.”

  Denise bounced on her toes. “I’ll go with you and rescue you if she tries to trap you in a long conversation.”

  After all the goodbyes, they headed for home. Ali was quiet and gazed out the window. Halfway through the trip, Lynn reached over and clasped Ali’s hand.

  “Thank you, Lynn. I’m sorry if anyone made you feel uncomfortable.”

  Lynn rubbed the back of her hand. “I was happy to be there for you.”

  “Denise is my easy-going sister.” Ali took a deep breath and let it out. “She has good humor, but she can be a bit intrusive.”

  “She’s chatty and pleasant.”

  Ali chuckled. “That’s a polite way to put it. Denise is straight but not narrow-minded. She will be scrutinizing you to see if you measure up to date her big sister, but she means well.” Ali’s look softened. “Did she tell you a little about our dysfunctional family?”

  Lynn nodded. “I’m sorry, Ali.” She pulled the truck over. “Come here.”

  Ali snuggled into Lynn and rested her hand on Lynn’s leg. “You may find this hard to hear. As much as I loved my mom, I’m happy to no longer hear her alternate reality of our family life.”

  �
�I understand.” Lynn tucked a strand of hair behind Ali’s ear. “You don’t have to let that past define you. You’ve moved on. You deserve happiness.”

  Chapter 47

  October 2017 – Northern Virginia

  Lynn brushed Ali’s cheek with the back of her hand. “Are you sure you want to go through with this so soon after your mom’s funeral? Maybe you should postpone the surgery after matters are settled with your mom’s estate.”

  “They recommended surgery over a year ago. I’m scheduled, and I’d like to be done with it. The physical therapy only helped a little.”

  “Good afternoon, Ali.”

  “Hello, Dr. Timmons. I’d like you to meet,” Ali reached over and held Lynn’s hand, “my partner, Lynn Stewart. I’ve put her on the HIPAA paperwork.”

  “Pleased to meet you, Lynn.” He nodded and sat at the desk, opened his laptop, then absent-mindedly clicked a pen in his right hand. “The surgery is scheduled for next Thursday, but there’s a bit of a problem.”

  His pursed lips bothered Lynn.

  “I don’t understand.” Ali brow furrowed.

  “As I said before, the chances of needing a blood transfusion during orthopedic surgery are low but higher than other procedures. And there is a present shortage in the blood bank.” He dropped the pen and straightened his tie. “To be safe, we still need a blood deposit.”

  “Didn’t my siblings come in for testing?”

  “I’m sorry. They are incompatible,” he softly said.

  “What about other relatives?”

  He leaned back in his chair. The pen was back in his hand. Lynn found the clicking irritating.

  “Your blood type is B negative, which is rare. Only two percent of the population has that type. The hospital has requested blood to meet your needs.”

  “Okay. How long will that take? As I said before, I have a lot of aunts and uncles on both sides.”