The Desire to Touch

by Taylor, N

  “It’s ok!” I interject, even hearing his name makes my stomach coil and my skin crawl. I know her attentions will move to another subject faster than lightening.

  I signal for the waiter to bring another bottle over, my phone buzzes again and I fish it out of my purse. Meagan is now on Lacey’s lap and they are taking posing pictures for their Facebook page, I laugh because those pictures will not look as good as they think.

  I look at my phone.

  *** 1 New Message ***

  555-4219-362

  I tap the screen to read it,

  555-4219-326

  17 Sep 2012 21:57

  :( Not talking? x

  Before my brain has got into gear I’ve hit reply and typed

  Wtf? You’ve changed your tune!

  I’m not sure whether to press send or delete, I don’t have the mental capacity to play mind games. As I lean back in my chair I hear Lacey squeal and Meagan is flying off her lap onto mine, as she lands she crushes my hand and phone. She puts the camera in front of us and takes a couple of pictures.

  “Oh Meagan please no!” I plead

  “Don’t worry I won’t post them online, these are for me!” She winks and jumps back to her seat.

  I smooth the wrinkles out of my dress and lean back in my chair again, looking back at my phone – SHIT!

  Where Meagan landed on my hand I must’ve pressed send and I can see he’s replying, the little symbol disappears and my heart stops waiting for the buzz. Then it buzzes and I read,

  555-4219-326

  17 Sep 2012 22:12

  ?? Confused, meet me? Please x

  I hear Lacey scream so I look up to see Meagan is back by Lacey’s side, Lacey has managed to pour the entire contents of the fresh wine bottle over herself. I laugh because it is quite nice to see it happening to someone else rather than me.

  I go back to my phone, its time to stop this. I can’t physically handle this shit right now. To text me all this and then to be whispering to my cousin warning me off, none of it makes sense and all seems a bit fishy.

  I hit reply,

  I don’t think so don’t text me again please!

  I look up and see Trey walking past our table towards the bar, he’s smiling at me again, and I can’t bring myself to smile back, so I look through him.

  This prick is sending me more mixed signals than a Morse code operator on speed!

  Meagan has resumed her seat and Lacey is laughing in some high pitch squeal that makes the remaining diners and staff turn to stare. It’s only because some poor waiter is on his hands and knees trying to clear up the wine on the hard wood flooring. Unfortunately the poor sod has to work around Lacey’s legs and he keeps brushing past them causing her to squeal. I look back at my phone on the table and it buzzes again,

  555-4219-326

  17 Sep 2012 22:17

  I can’t, meet me! x

  “Ell’s, Babe we’re too drunk, I’m going to have to take Lacey back now,” She staggers up to help Lacey out of her chair.

  “Lacey, stop,” I laugh, jumping out of my chair, reaching for her.

  “No….Listen you prick, you want me! You need me!” She coos into her phone

  “Lacey hang up now you dick,” Meagan shouts at her as she tries to pull her to her feet.

  I make an attempt to grab her phone from her but she sees me coming and swings her hand back so quick to avoid me, that she swings it straight into Meagan’s face full whack.

  “Ahhhhhh,” Meagan screams.

  “Oh my God! Shit, Meagan I am so sorry!” Lacey cries nearly in tears.

  “It’s fine, Get the fuck up now!” Meagan orders, she rarely swears only if she is really not happy.

  I pick up my bag and leave $90 on the table for the waiter, if it’s not enough they know who we are and that I live there, so it’s not like I can do a runner.

  I help Meagan and Lacey to the lobby and wait with them while we call for the lift, uncle Brendan’s working nights due to staff shortage so they won’t disturb him. The lift arrives and they step in. Meagan turns and looks at me.

  “I’ll be up in a bit, it’s been one of those days and I’m going for a cigarette.”

  Meagan tut’s at me.

  “Like I said, one of those days, I won’t be long,” I smile sweetly at her and she smiles back at me whilst re-propping Lacey, who appears to be asleep, on her shoulder.

  I laugh and walk over to the reception to see if one of the bellboys has got a spare cigarette I can sponge. Luckily one of them does and I head out the front, I know we’re not allowed to smoke under or near the entrance so I head out and turn left around the building. I can feel a presence with me so I turn to see if anyone’s there and there doesn’t seem to be, so I dive into my handbag to see if I can find my emergency lighter I usually keep in there but it’s nowhere in sight. Shit!

  Suddenly there’s a body next to me and a flame appears from the darkness, I look to the hand attached to the lighter then to the body and face. It’s Guy - Mr. Cringe himself. I lean in and light my cigarette and take a very welcome drag on it. I offer him a thank you smile, holding his stare I grasp my phone in my hand and walk further from the entrance into the dark alley to the side of the hotel. There’s only a very dim light above the door that is unused and locked since they installed a trash chute for the restaurant. I want to stay by the entrance but I’ll get shouted at again and I just want to enjoy this cigarette. As I walk I can feel him behind me step for step, I stop in the alley and turn to him,

  “You ok?” What does he want and why is he following me?

  “I knew you’d give in,” He steps closer towards me.

  “Excuse me?” I’m confused.

  “I knew you’d meet me!”

  “Meet you? But I -,” It hits me like a wrecking ball to the gut. I feel the blood drain from my face and my skin starts to tingle. He is Mr. Plush, that’s who Meagan gave my number to. Oh shit!

  “Oh,” that’s all I can assimilate. How the fuck do I get out of this, I may have accidentally walked myself into a dodgy situation. I grip my phone tighter.

  “Don’t deny it, you know there’s a spark between us. Ah, I get it you like the chase, you want me to take control and you can play little Miss innocent.” He lifts his hand to stroke my arm.

  I glance quickly to the entrance of the alley and I didn’t realise how far down I’d walked, there’s no one walking past on the street, not a soul. The bar staff won’t be leaving until midnight so I’m here in this alley alone. I’m truly fucked.

  He’s closing in on me, I’m pinned between him and the wall. I could scream but looking up the air conditioning unit is above my head and I don’t know if I’ll be heard over the buzzing of it.

  “Guy look, there seems to be some confusion here,” Why the hell am I being polite to him tell-him to bugger off!

  “Now you listen here, after you showed off your pretty tits earlier I knew I was going to have you. Stop pissing me around you slut.” His face is in mine and he’s leaning down sniffing my neck. I feel physically sick, my skin hurts and I want to cry, I drop my cigarette. I grab his face and push it away scratching his cheek as I do it.

  “Little bitch, I’m going to enjoy this more than you know,” He growls holding his face, his evil eyes narrowed and staring at me.

  He grabs my wrists and slams them into the wall above my head, my phone and purse smash to the floor.

  “Ow! Guy you’re hurting me!” I shout as loud as I can. “Get the fuck off of me now!” I am screaming loud just praying someone can hear me above the air-conditioning unit. I’m struggling to get out of his hold, it’s hurting my wrist but screw the pain. I try to bring my leg up to kick him in the privates but he’s too quick and he blocks my kick by catching my leg with his knees.

  “Get the fuck off me! You bastard!” I scream so loud and I thrash my body any way possible just to get free.

  “You want me, you bitch,” he hisses and goes to kiss me. The next thing I see Gu
y get airlifted and launched across to the other side of the alley.

  “Is she ok?” One voice shouts

  “Yeh I think so. Hey, you ok?” another voice, a kind voice says to me

  “Right you fuck!”

  Everything is happening in slow motion I can see Trey shouting at Guy, he’s kicking and punching ten tons of shit out of him. Guy is rolling around on the floor trying to protect himself but Trey is hailing down on him.

  “Get her back inside,” Trey shouts

  “Hey, come on, let’s get you back inside,” The kind voice says to me.

  I want to leave, I want to curl up in my room, I want to hide away from it all but my feet are stuck. I’m frozen.

  “Please come,” the kind voice asks again. I feel him try to move with an arm around me and I don’t resist him but my body is frozen.

  I feel another arm come up under my knees and effortlessly I’m being carried away, “Don’t worry you’re safe now.”

  Everything is slowly returning back to full speed but it’s all a bit hazy. I can hear Earls voice, “Ellie! What the hell happened to her?”

  I’m placed on a chair and inside I’m shouting my body to move but its lifeless, angel and devil girls are frozen in motion. In that instant I can hear the kind voice telling Earl what has happened.

  “The fucker’s dead!” Earl shouts and they both run out of the room.

  I manage to move my eyes and I slowly regain my movements, I look around to see I’m in the Security Office alone just surrounded by a lot of cctv screens and an old fashioned radio that isn’t picking up much reception - just white noise and occasional words. I shake my head and bring my feet up onto the chair and hold myself, I hope no ones in trouble I am such a dick, I walked right into that.

  Familiar words start echoing in the back of my mind ‘cry it out do not sweep it away, cry it out’. I can’t cry it out, I have to sweep it away, if I start crying I won’t stop. ‘Right grab hold of yourself woman’ Devil girl whispers, I sit back and straighten up.

  I can hear shouting and footsteps coming towards the office.

  “You should’ve let me kill that fucker!”

  Its Trey - he’s coming back, oh God I hope he’s ok. They all stand outside the office for a while I can hear the low voices mumbling and murmuring. The radio suddenly kicks in and Savage Garden comes through singing ‘Truly Madly Deeply’, it makes me jump because it’s loud and the three men come running into the office to see what it is. I just stare at the radio, they look at me then the radio.

  “Freaky,” says Earl walking over to turn it down. “I’ve been trying to fix that for over a week; I was just about to throw it before you came in.”

  Trey walks over and sits down next to me placing his arm around me, there it is again that feeling, he holds me tight and for the first time in a year I feel safe. It’s a strange feeling, I feel almost lifted and lighter. Is this really happening? To me? It can’t be real surely?

  I pinch my inner arm and it hurts. I let out a rush of air through the pain and Trey holds me tighter. Part of me wants to push him away but this overwhelming urge to just sit and embrace his hold wins, I stay and I just sit close to him.

  “Has the taxi taken him?” Trey asks

  “Yeah he’s gone and I’m ordering his friends to be removed from the hotel too, we don’t want him getting back in.” Earl replies picking up his Walkie Talkie, then he leaves the room.

  Chapter Four

  “It’s ok, he’s gone,” Trey says in my ear, as he leans in I can smell his aftershave and it smells absolutely divine. Devil girl and angel girl are thawing themselves out with hairdryers but devil girl has picked up his scent and is fanning herself.

  “I warned her, I said to your friend to not let him get you alone! Why do people never listen?” Trey takes a deep breath and with his free hand pinches the bridge of his nose.

  “Your hand!” I can see blood on his knuckles. I grab his hand and reach for a tissue from the box on the desk, I start dabbing, “I’m so sorry.”

  “Hey it’s ok, it’s not my blood.”

  “That’s what worries me, I do not want you getting into trouble.”

  “Trust me, it’ll all be ok,” he grabs my hand and stops me fussing over his. “I know Guy – well I know his type. I heard him bragging to his mates about you and he’d got your number or something, so I went to your friend to warn her.”

  He grabs my chin and lifts it up so our eyes meet, as our eyes connect I can see the concern etched on his face, the creases around his beautiful eyes.

  “This is not your fault, do you understand?” he asks

  I let out a nervous giggle and he looks confused almost hurt, “I’m sorry. I’m nervous and I’ve never been saved before. Definitely not twice in one day by the same person.”

  “Are you sure you’re ok?” he asks again

  “I’ve been through worse,” I sigh and move his hand from mine and place it back in his lap. “What did you do to him?”

  “You’re cold, you need a drink – come,” Trey stands and takes my right hand to lift me up “Your wrist is bruised, he did hurt you!”

  I glance up at my wrist in his hand and notice my bangle has slipped showing the edge of my scar, “No, it’s ok.”

  He releases his grip on my wrist and holds his hand out for me to take, I take his hand and I follow as he leads me to the bar.

  I can see Earl looking so vexed, talking to the other men Guy was with. I can only assume he’s asking them to vacate the building. As we pass Earl nods at me to ask if I’m ok, I nod back.

  Pascal comes rushing up and throws his arms around me, wow I was not expecting that, not one little bit.

  “Ellie, ma cherie, are you ok? Earl has just told me and he is not happy! He has told zee men zey have 30 minutes to clear out or security will help, zey all seem to be in shock too. Oh, ma cherie you must have a drink.” He walks me over to a table and sits me down.

  “Honestly Pascal I’m fine, had Mr. Thomas not been there then I may not be able to say that.”

  Pascal grabs Treys hand and shakes it vigorously, “Merci Monsieur Thomas, you saved our Ellie.”

  Trey smiles and meets Pascal’s shake, “Well, I’m a sucker for a damsel in distress.”

  “Drinks, come, you must have a drink and I get you food.”

  “Pascal I’m really not hun..”

  “Ellie, Marie would never forgive me.”

  He claps his hands and shouts some orders that gets the staff moving, luckily the restaurant is nearly deserted.

  A waiter rushes over and places two tumblers full of brandy in front of us.

  “Can I have a beer please?” I ask before he can run away

  “Yeah for me too thanks.” Trey adds.

  The waiter nods and retreats, I knock back the brandy and as the warmth hits my throat it makes me shudder and Trey laughs in turn, knocking his back.

  “How did you know?” I ask playing with my bangle.

  “I’m sorry?”

  “How did you know I was there? How did you end up rescuing me for the second time?”

  I can barely look at him – ‘Oh come on woman, he’s only human, just square him in the eye and relax!’ I take a deep breath and look him in the eye.

  A small smile graces his lips, “As I said, I warned your friend about him because he was acting like such a dick with his friends. Anyway, I was eating with some friends and I saw you leaving and he was keeping a steady eye on you. After about five minutes he left and I thought he may be following you.” He stops and takes a gulp of his beer that is placed in front of him and I drink mine. “I asked Michael to go and keep an eye on him.”

  “Michael?” I ask.

  “My bodyguard, well, my friend. He discreetly saw you leave the building for a cigarette.” He raises an eyebrow at me, oh wow, I’m being told off with the disapproving singular eyebrow lift.

  Trey continues, “I dealt with some business and found Michael in the lobby, he poin
ted to where you’d gone and we heard you scream.” He balls up his fist and takes a huge breath, “That fucker is seriously lucky the security guy and Michael stopped me, I would have killed him.”

  Okay, now I don’t know whether to be slightly apprehensive of this guy. I look down to the table where my hands are fidgeting, playing with my bangle.

  Trey reaches across the table and grabs my hand, “But you’re safe and ok.”

  I smile back to reassure him, though I don’t know if I fooled him or not, I certainly didn’t fool myself.

  Pascal arrives back with two plates and places them in front of us.

  “Nice!” Trey exclaims looking down at the food.

  “Pascal honestly this is too much, I ate like an hour ago plus chef would have been cleaning up by now.” I am so embarrassed, I didn’t mean to be such a pain.

  “Nonsense Ellie, zee minute I told Chef what had happened, he put zee oven on and shooed me away, he cooked up a treat wizout another word said.”

  “Thank you Pascal and thank chef for me.”

  Pascal squeezes my shoulder and leaves.

  Sitting on the plate in front of me are two mini hamburgers, hand cut fries and a huge bowl of Caesar salad. I’m not sure I can eat it but I have to, it smells too good to let it go to waste. I start to tuck in and I am so un-lady like I literally shovel food in my mouth, the bigger the amount on my fork the better. I glance up at Trey and he too seems to be indulging himself.

  We sit in silence and eat, occasionally making noises of agreement. Every now and then our eyes meet and I can’t help but look away nervously. My devil is shouting ‘he caught you looking’ my angel has given up and is doing the crossword holding up her hand to say don’t-get-me-involved.

  I sneak a peek at him under my lashes and it hits me – He is a movie star and I’m stuffing my face in front of him, he saved me twice! I don’t feel like I’m in the company of a star though, he just looks like an amazingly gorgeous man that currently has Caesar salad on his chin. He catches me looking. Shit. A shy smile creeps across his face, so I think, I can’t be mean, I smile and point to my chin and he rolls his eyes at me.