The Desire to Touch

by Taylor, N

  Julian avoids looking at me, he just takes the car back and places it protectively back in his bag. My heart melts at the prospect that he cares more about my feelings than Trey does.

  “What did he do?” Trey finally appears by my side, towel drying his hair.

  “He gave me his red car to hold, it made me smile,” then I turn bitter, “First time all day.”

  “I’m so sorry about all that but thank you so much for not running.” Trey keeps a healthy distance between us so as not to make his mother suspicious.

  “If I did run Trey it would be the last time, you need to answer some questions because I may still run yet.” I snap trying to not look him in the eye, I know I’ll melt otherwise.

  A voice appears over the speakers, “Ladies and Gentlemen food is now being served and the raffle about to be drawn.”

  “We need to go over to the bar,” Trey grasps my arm but I pull free.

  “No Trey - you need to answer some questions, is there nowhere we can talk?”

  “Not right now Ellie, please don’t make a scene.” Trey turns and waves to someone.

  “Make a scene?” I mutter shocked, “I suppose that’s what Sarah did?” I whisper.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  “What did you say about Sarah?” Trey’s face is stern and his jaw clenched.

  “I was told all about her, I just wanted you to tell me it was all lies! Like this lie,” I grab the bangle off my arm and throw it at him.

  “What? How the hell did you hear about Sarah and that was not a lie! You’re not making sense Ellie,” Trey runs his hands through his hair, “Julian will you go away,” He snaps.

  “Don’t take this out on him,” I yell.

  “Look I promise I will explain after the raffle, then I’m all yours.”

  “That’s bollocks Trey, I don’t know how many times you’re going to trample on me and my trust but I can’t take anymore. And for saying all mine, I was led to believe that I am the harlot who is in the way of you and Super Slut over there!” The old me is back with a vengeance, the tears have dried up and the anger is emanating so much I’m surprised I’m not bright red.

  “That’s just my mom Ellie, you…”

  “No!” I stop him, “this I heard from that well injected, fat-lipped bitch’s mouth.” I point to Kyla. “Apparently in Paris you decided to give things another go?” I look at him questioningly.

  “I…No listen…She…” He stammers.

  The tears spring back into my eyes and my voice quivers, showing that my strength is fading, I pull down the sleeve of the kaftan and look up at him, “You were the first person who lifted me from the dark place I was hiding and now…” I breathe and wipe away the tears again, “You are screwing me over.”

  “No, no please Ellie…” Trey turns around and waves again as someone calls his name, “Please I promise you that it’s all lies, everything you heard I can explain. Look let’s get this raffle done and then we’ll talk, I’ll even show you my old room?”

  “I’ll stay for a bit Trey but I’m not going to hang around for more lies or bitch fights from that twat!”

  Trey leads me into the tent again still keeping a friendly distance between us, Kyla approaches us and she is sarcastically friendly to me. Trey grabs her arm and whispers a warning in her ear, they look to a door and she nods her head in agreement.

  “Ladies and gentleman the diving boards are being erected for the diving challenges coming next, but for now there are a few light bites to eat but please do not over fill if you haven’t played yet.” George wipes his glasses and looks to his wife, “Now for the raffle, so if you’d all follow us into the main hall, we will see the prizes and pick the winners…”

  “I’ll be back shortly,” Trey whispers as he and Kyla walk off to a room that leads to God only knows where. I look at him gob smacked and shaking my head, he’s breaking my heart and he does nothing to reassure me – epic fail, Trey.

  I start to edge my way out from the crowd, I realise I’ve made it to the back and I could quite easily just turn around and leave. All staff and helpers have been called to the hall to help with the raffle, Trey and Kyla have been called three times over the mic but they haven’t returned this leads me to believe they’re busy - so why the fuck am I hanging around for it to finish.

  I turn around, knowing it’s time to cut my losses and leave. As I start to walk through the adjoining door from the living room back to the marquee bar, I spot Julian on the erected diving board and he’s slowly climbing his way to the edge. He’s fully clothed and his bag is still proudly sitting on his back, the board isn’t high but he’s got to be at least three metres up and I don’t know if he can swim. Julian looks petrified and he slowly teeters on the edge of the board. Everything goes in slow motion as Julian falls off the end. I start to run to try and help him but his bag snags on the board and leaves him dangling, the bag breaks and Julian falls hitting his head on the edge of the pool and landing face down into the water. I scream and run as fast as I can launching myself into the pool, forgetting my own swimming issues. I grab him and turn him over. A large crowd has followed my calls of help and people start jumping in to help me pull him out. Clara stands screaming into George’s arms as he holds her up, I manage to get to the side as people help me hoist Julian out of the pool. What seem like hundreds of hands appear pulling him to safety. One of the many doctors attending the party has rolled Julian onto his side and is patting him on the back as he coughs up a load of water, the doctor places a towel under his head and calls Clara over to calm Julian down. A hand appears in front of me and Tristan is stood there offering to help me out, a lady puts a towel around my shoulders and pats me on the back.

  “Julian my baby, what happened?” Clara’s mousey voice is all that can be heard.

  A crowd is tightly formed around him so I can’t see what he’s doing.

  “Ellie, my dear girl you saved him again.” George calls out causing the crowd to part like the seas.

  I just smile and try to dry myself off, Tristan hasn’t left my side he keeps the towel around my shoulders trying to keep me warm.

  “Why was she so near him George?” Clara shouts accusingly. “Julian, what were you doing, please tell mommy.”

  The way Clara talks to Julian shocks me, it’s almost like she needs him to rely on her. Julian clambers to his feet and tries to hide behind Clara.

  “I think you need to get that head x-rayed to be on the safe side, it may need some stitches.” The man who tended to him says.

  “Oh we will, but I need to know what happened?”

  “Make Ellie proud.” Julian mumbles.

  “What?” Clara squeals and I mirror her reaction.

  “If Julian does a jump Ellie will be proud!” Julian mumbles again.

  “You!” Clara points at me, “You did this to my baby! You knew he would not be able to do it, was this to get my son’s attention?”

  “No…I never said anything…I” Oh God words please don’t fail me now!

  “Get the hell out of my house, you little Bitch!” Clara’s words ring out so loud that everyone turns to me and stares.

  “Security, get her out of this house and off my land NOW!” She screams again.

  Everyone looks at me with a look of disgust on their face, George is trying to calm Clara down and he looks at me, “Best you go, my dear,” his eyes apologise but his face and stance are angry with me.

  “I didn’t…I just…” I stutter again, my heart is in my mouth and I feel sick.

  “Take your lies and your self-harming ways out of my house and away from my son! If you ever try to make him turn to your ways again, I will make you wish you were never born!” Clara’s voice is surprisingly normal but still screaming in my face.

  My self-harming ways, what the hell is going on here?

  I drop the towels and pick up my bag, I close my eyes just trying to digest what the fuck just happened. My body is shaking as I tremble wi
th fear and shock, seriously what the hell just happened? I look around to see where Trey is but he’s still out of sight, I even look for Carl and he’s nowhere to be seen.

  Two men appear in the hallway waiting for me to leave, I keep my head down and walk through them and out into the mild evening air. The coolness hits my face and I realise that I have just been shunned from their house after being accused of trying to kill his brother. I look around at the emptiness in front of me, my knees buckle slightly and I land on the perfectly tarmacked drive and the tears just stream, I’m so tired of all of this, I wish to God I had never met him. I

  A hand appears under my arm and lifts me off the cool ground, “Let’s get you home.”

  I look up knowing the voice is not Trey’s but that of Tristan and I welcome the help, he stands me up and holds me tight as his car pulls up alongside then he helps me into the back. As he closes the door I see Travis appear from behind a column, he flicks his cigarette and gets his phone out, the whole time he’s looking at me in shock. Tristan slides in next to me and he tells the driver to go. A blanket is placed over me and I close my eyes willing it all to be over, as the car speeds along all I hear are the voices of my familiar friends ‘Won’t want to get rid of us again will you’. The duo are back and I hold them close as I nestle deeper under the blanket just wishing to be home, back in my haven.

  The Desire to Love coming June 2013

  The gripping sequel to The Desire to Touch.