by Mary Ting
I was so preoccupied with my thoughts of Gamma and our happy times together that I didn’t realize Father Roy was speaking. “There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens. A time to be born and a time to die.”
My thoughts wandered again. It was hard to listen to the words when all I could think of was that Gamma was gone. Her existence had already become nothing but a memory. Father Roy continued. “We go to the same place. We were made from the dust, and to the dust we shall return.”
My attention turned to Mom when I heard her weeping. Mom and I had shed so many tears that I was sure we had none left, but I was wrong. When I heard her soft sobs, it filled my eyes with tears yet again. Then, Kristina, Maggie, and Patty started sobbing too. Patty rummaged through her purse, took out a pack of Kleenex, and passed it along. She also gave me a quick squeeze to comfort me.
Watching Gamma’s casket being lowered into the perfectly rectangular empty space that had been dug for her made me lose it. I felt like my heart was being ripped into pieces. My lungs forgot how to take in air. When my body became weak, too weak to stand, I knew I was falling apart. As my heart sunk to the ground, I wanted to collapse.
“Please…nooo,” I cried softly, as my hand reached out for Gamma. “She won’t be able to see. It’ll be too dark down there. It will be too cold. I won’t ever see her again. I’m sorry, Gamma. I’m sorry I didn’t call enough. I’m sorry I didn’t visit you enough. I’m sorry I went camping, and I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry that you gave up your life for me.” My whole body was trembling. I was certain my knees would give out, but Kristina and Patty were holding me up, trying to comfort me, ready to catch me if I fell.
I didn’t realize others heard my words until I saw them crying harder than before. Even Andrew and John were sobbing. They felt the depth of my pain, the pain that was hidden deep inside. The pain that I desperately tried to suppress was now pouring out uncontrollably. Tears streamed faster, and there weren’t enough tissues to wipe them. Eventually I managed to somewhat compose myself, but short gasping sounds still lingered.
Feeling embarrassed by my emotional display, I gazed at the casket, knowing there was nothing I could do. As I tried to reorganize the wet tissues, I was startled by a voice. “Claudia,” he called to me.
It was Michael, but I continued to stare at the casket. Was I being delusional? I missed him so much that I heard his voice. I looked up and blinked several times. Michael, Davin, Vivian, and Caleb were standing at a distance, dressed in black. Were they a figment of my imagination? A clear vision of them was just enough for me to smile on this dreadful day.
“Claudia.” I heard his voice in my head again as I gazed back at the casket. “We’re here.” He felt so close. I could almost feel the warmth of his whisper in my ear. Then I repeated his words in my mind, We’re here.
Suddenly it hit me that what I saw was real. I was ecstatic, and tears rolled down my face. But this time, they were tears of joy. My heart was lifted and happy again. They had come back. They came back to comfort me and pay their last respects to Gamma. When I looked up again to see them, I was disappointed. They were no longer there. Where did they go? I looked to the left, right, and behind me, but nothing. Patty nudged me and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” I replied softly and didn’t bother to look again. I wanted to see them so desperately that my mind was definitely playing tricks on me.
After Father Roy said his last words, one by one everyone gently tossed a red rose onto her casket. Then they headed to their cars.
“You go first,” I told my friends. “I’ll catch up with you in a second.”
Mom and I stayed behind to say our final goodbyes to Gamma. We were standing there quietly, when I felt a soft, warm breeze. It felt as though a hand had brushed against my cheek, but there was no one around.
Something inside my pants pocket was crinkling. I pulled it out. It was a note from Michael. It read,
We’re here. See you at home.
In my heart, in my soul—M
I read it again. My mind was not playing tricks on me. They were really here. I was overwhelmed with happiness, but at the same time, felt slightly guilty for feeling happy at Gamma’s burial.
“Everything all right, honey?” Mom asked, glancing over my shoulder to see what I was looking at.
“It’s nothing,” I said, smiling and placing the note back in my pocket.
“Ready to go, honey?”
I let out a heavy sigh. “I’m ready,” I said. I was ready to close this chapter. I know that time heals all wounds, but it was easier said than done. It had been an honor to have Gamma in my life. Happy memories of her were what I would always cherish and remember. Memories were what would keep her alive, Michael had told me once, and that was exactly what I planned to cherish. No more tears and no more sulking, just happy thoughts.
“I love you, Gamma,” I said. “See you in my dreams, or when I look up at the stars.”
Chapter 26
After the funeral, Mom took our grieving guests out to a late lunch. When we got home, I told Mom that I was tired, and that I desperately needed a nap. As I headed to my bedroom, the anticipation of finding them there was beating out of my chest. When I opened the door, my heart sunk deeply when I didn’t see them. Maybe they had to do something first, I thought and decided to wait for them. After all, Michael did say, ‘We’re here. See you at home.’
After I changed into my comfortable clothing, I decided to take a nap. When I woke up, I didn’t realize how long I had slept, until I opened the blinds. The sun was setting, with hues of violet that spread across the horizon. While I was marveling at its beauty, I took a deep breath, disappointed that they weren’t here yet. Had I misread the letter? When I went to my desk to reread the letter, I saw a new letter.
I miss you more. See you at The Cliff.
In my heart, in my soul—M
My spirits lifted, and my frown turned into a smile. I placed the letter back on the desk. I nearly flew across the room, startled by Davin’s appearance.
“Hello, there,” he said, cheerful as always.
“Davin!” I shouted and hugged him tightly. I was so happy to see him.
“Claudia, I’m not Michael,” he teased and returned the hug.
“I’m sorry. I’m just so happy to see you. Is everybody all right? I haven’t seen you or heard from any of you in a while. I just can’t believe you’re here.” I couldn’t stop talking. He just stood there and let me say my peace.
“We’re fine, and Michael is better. I told you the next time I saw you would be when you were in danger, but…”
“I’m in danger?” I asked frantically.
“Calm down, Claudia. Everything is fine. I guess I should have picked my words better. Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you like that,” Davin said, as he placed one hand behind my back. “What I meant to say was…the next time I saw you would be when you were in danger, but you’re not, and here I am.”
“Oh,” I said, relieved. “I guess I overreact sometimes. I should have known better and let you finish. Where are Vivian and Caleb?”
“They were sent back before the funeral ended. Phillip found out about Gamma and gave us permission to pay our last respects to her. Vivian and Caleb wanted to stay, but Michael thought it was best for them to leave.”
“Oh.” I felt disappointed that I didn’t get to hug and thank them for going to the funeral.
Davin sensed my sadness. “Don’t worry, they’ll come back. I’m actually here to take you to Michael.”
My face lit up. “You are?” Then I wondered why he asked Davin to take me to him. Why wasn’t he here himself? Maybe he was still weak from the injury? After all, Davin said he was better, but didn’t say he was completely better. “Where is Michael? Is he all right?”
“Don’t worry. He’s fine,” he said quickly, and changed the subject.
“If he is better, why is
n’t he here?” I asked again, wondering what he was up to.
“You’ll see. I’m not supposed to say. You’ll just have to see. Do you want to go or stay here all night?”
Just as Davin asked the last question, I jumped up and stood right in front of him.
“Not fashionably late this time?” he teased.
“You didn’t steal a car, did you?” I asked, teasing him back. He gave me a sly look.
“Borrowed,” he said and gave me the biggest grin I had ever seen on his face.
“No, you didn’t,” I was trying not to laugh.
“Same car, 540 horsepower,” he exclaimed.
Before I knew it, Davin grabbed me, and we were headed to the car.
He was driving slightly over the speed limit, but when we got on the freeway, he started driving faster – faster.
“Ahhh! Slow down!” I yelled. “You’re giving me a heart attack!”
“Don’t worry, I’m a really good driver,” he said, driving over a hundred miles per hour, weaving in and out of lanes. “Isn’t this great? It’s like flying, but on the ground.”
“No!” I yelled, covering my eyes as I continued to hang on to my seatbelt for my life.
“You’ve been flying with Michael too much,” he teased.
“Not enough,” I mumbled.
He was thoroughly enjoying himself, and I enjoyed watching him get so much pleasure out of something so simple. I knew that his vision and coordination were more than perfect, so I let him be. After all, when would he have this opportunity again? And if I could, I would do it too.
When we finally reached our destination, my body was plastered to the seat. We were at the same campground. With my knees still shaking, I managed to get out of the car. I was about to fall flat on my bottom when I felt a pair of strong arms around me.
“Michael,” I turned and threw myself at him. His embrace felt so warm, and I felt complete.
“Davin,” Michael said, in a scolding tone.
“I was trying to get here as fast as she wanted to get here,” he said innocently.
“You know you can travel faster than a car,” Michael reminded Davin.
“But it’s not as much fun,” Davin said lightly.
“Leave the fun part to yourself,” Michael said seriously.
Davin shrugged his shoulder. “Sorry, Claudia, I thought it would be fun for you too. I forget that you don’t feel the same rush as me.”
I turned to Michael and shook my head, so he wouldn’t be mad at Davin anymore.
“Next time I get to drive,” I winked.
He smiled, pouted, and gave me a hug. “See you when I see you.”
Unexpectedly he placed his fist out, and I looked at him with a questioning expression. He took my hand and banged it on top of his fist like a hammer. And then he took his fist and banged it on top of mine. “You know the handshake people do to say hi and bye?”
I got the idea, but I didn’t know he knew it. “Oh, now I know what you were trying to do.”
“Get a clue, Claudia, you’re acting more like an alkin than a human,” he teased.
Then he turned to Michael. “See you later, Mr. Ruin the Fun. Don’t be too late.” Then he flew straight up and disappeared.
Alone at last, and I was suddenly struck with shyness. “Fly with me, Claudia, I’ll show you 540 wing power.” Michael winked and we were already up in the air.
We didn’t fly high like last time; instead, we flew up to The Cliff. As we drew closer, he told me to close my eyes. Closing my eyes meant he was up to something, and I did so without hesitation. I couldn’t wait to see what he had planned. When I opened my eyes, my body stiffened, fixating on the same space where Aden had floated. I knew with every fiber of my being that Aden was dead and that he couldn’t hurt me any longer, but just the thought of him brought back horrifying feelings that coursed through me.
Suddenly, Michael’s wings enclosed me, and my fear subsided. My body was relaxed and at ease. I knew this warmth, this place I wanted to be for all eternity. Slowly I turned, and I was lost in his eyes. I glided my hands up to feel his soft wings. The wounds had healed completely; no evidence of his injury could be seen. No matter how many times I had witnessed the strength that it exerted, it still amazed me.
“Claudia, look.” He lowered his wings. Then he turned me around.
My eyes opened wide in surprise to see many white lights strung above the trees, sparkling brilliantly. The lights intertwined from the tops of the branches and dangled as they reached the bottom. Hundreds of lit candles were placed throughout the surrounding woods. We walked further in, and the whole place was glowing. It was like we were in some enchanted forest, and he was my prince. It was the most romantic scene I could ever have imagined. I was deeply touched by all of his efforts that had gone into planning such a perfect reunion. This was the reason he had asked Davin to bring me to The Cliff. I continued to stare in awe, and my eyes glistened with tears of happiness.
“What do you think?” he asked, wiping my tears.
“I can’t believe you did this for me.”
“You’re worth all this trouble and much more,” he said, still wiping my tears.
“Sorry. I’m just way too emotional these days.”
“I don’t blame you. It’s been overwhelming for you. I wish I could make it go away.”
Wanting not to spoil this beautiful ambiance, I stopped the tears from falling, wiped the last tear myself, and lightened up. “A good-looking alkin told me things happen for a reason.” I ran my fingers down his shoulders.
“Who’s this good-looking alkin? Are you cheating on me?” he asked, nuzzling my neck, knowing I was referring to him.
“I didn’t know we were dating. Would you feel jealous?” I asked, enjoying his nuzzling.
“Extremely.”
“You’re un…unbelievable,” I said, barely making out the words, lost in his arms.
Suddenly he stopped, and I had to catch my breath.
“I know,” he said, trying to hold back a laugh. “You told me that the first day we met. You remember? I wanted to prove it.”
I giggled, recalling the first day we met when I was extremely mad at him. “Of course I remember. But this time, I mean it in a good way.”
“I know you do.” Then he changed the subject. “I’m sorry I was away, but I asked Davin to keep an eye on you.”
“You did?” I asked in surprise and pulled away to look at him. “But I never saw him.”
Since you were not in immediate danger, I asked him to keep an eye on you from a distance.”
“Aden is dead. Why would I be in danger?”
“It’s nothing. I’m only trying to be cautious.” Then he brushed off my question.
“Michael, you didn’t answer my question.”
“It’s really nothing. I shouldn’t have said anything,” he replied, not able to look at me.
“Please tell me,” I begged. “You know I won’t stop asking.”
He gave a short laugh. “That’s true. I don’t want to worry you, but I’m just being cautious. There are many fallen who might have the same ideas as Aden. Not that I was suspicious of anyone. Please don’t trouble yourself and put a lot of thought into what I just said. When it comes to your safety, I’m overly protective, that’s all. Promise me you won’t worry?”
“Okay,” I said with hesitation. Although I just promised him that I wouldn’t worry, I knew a part of me would. But I was more curious to know where he was and what he had been doing. “Where were you?” I asked, changing the subject.
“I needed to think about what we are going to do with you.”
“I think you should just whisk me away to where no one can find us. Fly with me, Michael,” I said, giving him my most puppy-eyed look, even though I knew it was impossible.
“If only it were that simple. I would take you anywhere you pleased.”
I knew he meant it. “If only,” I whispered. “What are you going to do with me?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t want to tell Phillip that you have the Holy Spirit’s soul because he will take you to the Royal Council. It’s possible they would make you stay with them. It may be a place without me. And I can’t be without you.” He then placed his head gently against mine. “They know Aden is dead, and I’m going to have to explain why he was after you. Unless I can come up with a good explanation, it will be out of my hands.”
My heart sunk.
He lifted my chin, and my eyes met his. “If they do find out somehow, I will do everything I can to stop them from telling the Royal Council. I honestly don’t know what the Royal Council will do, but I’m not willing to take any chances of them separating us.”
“What do we do in the meantime?”
“The plan is that you go back to your normal life, whatever normal is for you now.” He cocked his brow. “Since Davin, Caleb, Vivian, and I got permission from Phillip to see you more often, I’ll get to visit you, even if you’re not in danger.”
“Did you ask or tell Phillip anything else?”
“I told him about us.”
“You told him about us?” I repeated his answer, unsure of what he had just said.
“Yes, and he also knows I kissed you!”
I was in shock. “What! He knows?” Suddenly I flushed with embarrassment.
“And I told him that I am in love with you.”
“What?”
“I also told him that you make me absolutely crazy.”
I finally caught on to his playfulness. “Did you tell him that you’re making things up?” Then I pushed him gently across his muscular arms, frowning. His fingers tickled the sides of my ribs and I arched my back from the tingling sensation. Without warning, he scooped me off my feet, and I was wrapped like a cocoon inside his wings. I could tell we were floating off the ground. I traced my hands along his face to memorize every turn and every angle. “Can I ask you a question?”