by Mary Ting
“I was waiting for you to ask me that,” he laughed.
“How did you make Alexa Rose float? And I heard your voice the day of Gamma’s funeral. How did you do that?”
“I reached out to Margaret when I was away. She taught me how to make people float, and how to transfer my thoughts to you on the day of your grandmother’s funeral,” he said excitedly. “I’m not good at it. And it takes a great deal of energy, but with practice, I can do better.”
“Can all angels learn special skills like that?”
“No, I’m the unlucky one who has the ability to learn. It’s what makes me different from the other alkins, besides my wings and the fact that my father is, or was, one of the Twelve,” he said humbly.
“Unlucky?” I asked, remembering when Aden said he would have taught Michael everything he knew.
“It’s the only reason why Aden was interested in me,” he said with shame written all over his face.
“I’m so sorry, Michael,” I said, feeling so much compassion for him. “I think you have a wonderful gift, and you can use it to do good things.”
He let out a huge smile, “For you, I will learn to do anything.”
I didn’t know what to say; instead, I placed my hands on his cheeks and asked him another question. “Do you wish to be human still?”
“No.”
“I don’t understand. I thought you wanted to be human. When did this all change?”
“After I became your guardian angel, I never wanted to leave your sight. I wanted to protect you and keep you safe. If I were a mere human, I couldn’t do that. I found my purpose.” He paused, setting his eyes deeply into mine. “If I had to die to save you, I would. I would do it in a heartbeat. Life isn’t worth living, unless you have someone worth dying for.”
I knew what he meant. “I would do the same for you,” I said as I traced the outline of his lips with my finger.
“I know you would. But if you died and I lived, I might as well be dead. You are my breath of life. Without you, there is no purpose. You are my reason. I need you for my life to make sense.”
“I need you too.”
“But I need you more,” he said softly.
I closed my eyes, letting his words sink in, and repeating them inside my head.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“Just that I can’t believe you’re here. I can’t believe you’re real.” I ran my hands along his face, memorizing every curve, every line, every crinkle when he smiled, knowing that we would be apart again. “Where will I be when I wake up?” I already knew the answer to my question, but I asked anyway.
“I want to be able to tell you that you’ll still be here with me, but I have to go soon. You’ll be safe in your bed,” he said, gently stroking my hair with his hands. It was a sure way of making me fall asleep. I didn’t want him to, but his caress was so soothing.
I closed my eyes, spellbound by his touch. Then he spoke again.
“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked.
“That’s my line, and I could use all the pennies you give me. You’ll go broke if you want to know what’s on my mind.”
He chuckled. “That many? Ask away. We’ve got all night.”
“When did you first start to have feelings for me?” I asked shyly.
“When you first looked at me with those eyes that said I want you.”
Flushed with redness, I asked, “That obvious?”
“It’s when you first looked at me, speechless, and fought back with your words. You looked so cute when you were mad at me. And when you smile, it makes me absolutely crazy for you.”
“Then why were you so mean, rude, obnoxious, arrogant, and—”
He interrupted before I could finish. “I get the point. Let me explain. I had feelings for you before you even crossed over to Halo City. I’d already fallen for you. I had loved you…even before we met. I would wait for you to come, and it was always for a short period of time. After you crossed over, I didn’t know what to do with the feelings that appeared stronger than I was, feelings I was told not to feel. They were feelings I’ve been suppressing for so many years. And when you came along, it was as if you had taken me over. I didn’t like it. I thought that if I tried to be rude to you, the feelings would go away. But it just grew stronger every time I saw you, so I just decided to do what Phillip told me to do.”
“What did he tell you to do?” I asked, overwhelmed by his words.
“Follow my heart.”
I gave a huge grin. “I’m glad you did.”
“I know you are,” he said arrogantly with a smile. “Following my heart would be like following you. For you are the reason I want to be who I am.”
My eyes peered into his beautiful eyes. It didn’t matter how many times I looked into them, I got those same quivering butterflies dancing in my stomach, feeling just like the first time. And without a word, he stole a soft kiss. I closed my eyes and let him steal more. When he stopped, I opened my eyes to see his eyes gazing lovingly into mine.
“Ask me,” he said. “I can tell you have more questions.”
I started laughing. He was right, I did. “You know me so well.”
“More than you know.”
I refocused and rethought the question I wanted to ask. “Before I forget to ask, do you think that Gamma may have been wrong about me?”
“Why would you say that?”
“I don’t have a single birthmark on my body.”
“It’s because you don’t know where to look.”
“I don’t know where to look?” I repeated his words, remembering when he lifted his right arm to show Aden his fake birthmark.
As if he could hear my thoughts, he said, “I made a fake birthmark on my arm, so I wouldn’t have to turn my back to Aden. Also, I had the advantage because he didn’t know about it—what it looks like or where to find it.” Then he turned me on my side and lifted the back of my hair. Lightly, he traced a small area on the back of my hairline. What was he tracing? He went up, curving around and then back down. It was the upside-down horseshoe—the omega sign. “There it is. Now we know for sure. It’s small and hardly noticeable.”
“Oh,” I frowned. There was a part of me that was still having a difficult time accepting who I was. Michael noticed my mixed emotions. Apparently I was not good at hiding them.
“I’ll be there for you. Don’t worry. Don’t fight what you cannot control. Fight for what you can.”
He was right. Like Gamma said, I couldn’t fight destiny.
He continued, “I’ve been here for you, haven’t I?”
I nodded solemnly.
“Then we do this together, okay?” He cupped my face.
I nodded. “I love you,” I whispered.
“Decorde totaliter et ex mente tota, sum presentialiter, absens in remota,” he whispered back.
I had no idea what it meant. “Say it in simple language,” I said, remembering the time when he had been rude to me. He had spoken his first Latin words to me, and then told me that he would say it in simple language.
He looked at me in surprise and started to laugh hard. “You remember that?”
“I remember everything. Mr. Rude, Mr. Arrogant, Mr. Mean…”
“I get the point. I guess I was all that, but it was for your own good,” he teased.
“No, no, no. It was for your own good,” I reminded him.
“True.” He nodded. “What do I get if I tell you what I said in simple language?”
“You get a kiss,” I said proudly.
“Nope, not good enough.”
“A long kiss?” I questioned.
“Nope, not good enough.”
“My shirt?” I giggled. My eyes widened to ask if I was on the right path.
He smiled and said, “You know I could see right through it if I wanted to.”
I gave him a “you wouldn’t dare” look. “You promised,” I said, reminding him.
He laughed softly. “Yes, y
ou’re right. Now where were we?”
“My shirt, I think.”
He laughed again. “Nope.”
“Okay, I give up.”
“A smile.”
“That’s it? You just want a smile?” But I couldn’t produce one, knowing that he wanted to see me smile.
“That’s all it took for me to fall madly in love with you,” he said sincerely.
I flushed with redness, and the joy in my heart erupted into a huge smile, no effort needed.
“There. Now it’s my turn.” He planted tender kisses up and down my neck and finally said, “In simple language…with all my heart and all my soul, I am with you even though I am far away.”
I couldn’t fight it any longer. His touch, his words, his kisses drove me absolutely wild. I pulled him closer and showed him how much I cared for him, giving him long, passionate kisses. We were lost in our own little world, just Michael and me. It was perfect.
After a while, Michael stood up. The candlelight framed his silhouette with a glowing radiance. He looked like an angel appearing out of my dream, and my heart was overflowing beyond anything I could possibly describe. He pulled out a blue blanket and a picnic basket from behind a tree. “Time to eat,” he said, gently laying the blanket on the grass, and pulled out a container from inside the basket. “Compliments from Italy this time. Seafood linguini.” Then he opened up the huge container.
I grinned steadily the whole time as I watched him. “My favorite,” I said softly. The aroma that escaped as he opened the container made my stomach ache with hunger. He laid out everything in front of us and set the place for two instead of one. He must have seen the look on my face. “I’m eating with you this time. Can’t have my date eating by herself.” He winked and sat across from me.
“I would love that. Thank you for everything,” I said, gazing deeply into his eyes, hoping he would know how grateful I felt.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way. Don’t worry. You’ll make it up to me.” His brow lifted, giving me a flirty smile.
After dinner, we lay side by side on the blanket and fed each other strawberries. I didn’t know what time it was, but I knew it was late. Not only was I getting tired, but the lights that shone millions of miles above us were clear evidence. I hadn’t noticed the stars until now. In Michael’s presence it was hard to focus on anything but him.
Looking at the stars reminded me of my friend, Claudia, my real mom, Sofia, and especially Gamma. I thought about how Gamma touched my life. My Gamma was an Earth angel. I was one of the few lucky ones who had been blessed to have known and be loved by her. My Gamma was up there looking down on me, I thought, as I searched for the brightest star. Then I turned to Michael, “Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yes, they are. But I’d rather stare at you.” He turned toward me, gently stroked my hair and slowly traced his fingers up and down my side. “It’s getting late.”
“No,” I said, not wanting tonight to end. “Can you freeze time so we can stay like this forever?” I asked, with my eyes closed.
“I wish I could. I’m just your guardian angel, not God.”
“Some guardian angel,” I joked.
“Hey…,” he said and scooped me closer to him.
I rested my head against his chest, breathed him in and listened to his heart beat. I tried to hold on to every part of this moment, not knowing when I would see him again.
His supple wings gave me warmth and comfort. It was extremely difficult to stay awake. Before I fell asleep, I needed to tell him once more. “I love you as high as the sky and as deep as the sea,” thinking no words could beat the depth of my love for him.
Slowly all the senses in my body lost control as I was succumbing to sleep. Tender kisses were planted on my forehead and gentle touches on my cheeks. Before I was completely lost to darkness, I heard Michael whisper, “Multiply my love by infinity and take it to the depths of forever, and you still have only a glimpse of how I feel for you. I love you more.”
I felt full, full with this feeling I could not describe, bursting with warmth in every part of my being. He always said he loved me more, but it was me who loved him more. It was the reason I felt complete.
Epilogue
Effortlessly he held Claudia close to his chest and flew. His wings were wrapped gently around her, blocking the wind from disturbing her sleep. Safe in her room was where she would be, he told her, and that was where he took her. Her long auburn hair rippled down along her face like a waterfall, as he cradled her in his arms, not wanting to let go.
Gently he laid her down, and as he pulled the blanket to tuck her in, he spotted the T-shirt he had given her to wear when they went hiking. He smiled; surprised that she had kept it.
He backed away, giving her the space she needed as she rolled onto her side. Her hand reached for something, and when it found the T-shirt, she drew it close to her, hugging it like a teddy bear. Her chest rose up and down and she let out a soft sigh of relief. Michael stood there watching, smiling, envious of his own T-shirt, wishing it was him instead. He could have easily switched positions, but he knew better. He was running out of time and would be late for a debriefing in regards to Aden’s death.
He lovingly looked at her and realized how proud he was of her. This delicate half human, half angel with no powers to defend herself was strong enough to endure all that she had. She didn’t ask to have the Holy Spirit’s soul; it was her destiny, one she could not erase. Regardless, she was brave and accepting of this out-of-the-ordinary circumstance. How he wished he could take all the craziness away for her, but then, he would not be a part of her life. Undeniably, he needed her. He wanted her in ways he knew he couldn’t; it was forbidden, but he couldn’t control the human emotions he felt for her. He loved her too much, and it didn’t matter if he would be punished for loving her. Knowing her was all that mattered to him.
“Dream of me,” he whispered into her ear, and then kissed her cheek, barely touching her skin so he wouldn’t disturb her.
Standing up, he took a step back and watched her sleep. He took in a long deep breath, let out a heavy sigh, and as always, felt tormented and empty knowing he had to leave her. As he turned his back toward her, he noticed the silver moonlight seeping through the cracks of the half-drawn blinds. She had called him Superman once, but she had no idea of the powers he possessed.
He was always worried about what she would think when he did things that weren’t normal by human standards. As he reminisced about the things she said to him, he chuckled lightly to himself. She was everything to him. To him, she was his guardian angel. With these thoughts in mind, he faced her, memorizing her face one more time, as his back made contact with the wall.
“Te Amo,” he said in Latin. He slowly opened up his wings and disappeared. Out in the crisp, cool air, the beating of his wings was too soft for human ears to hear. He flew upward and then disappeared before he could blink. The light was his guide as he traveled through a tunnel of different hues. Soon after, the light faded and he stepped onto the dirt road where he had first seen Claudia. But this time he was on the other side. He was about to enter, crossing over to Halo City, when Davin stepped out.
“Hey,” Davin said.
Michael returned the greeting with a smile.
“You okay?” Davin asked.
“I don’t know. But don’t worry, I can figure it out myself,” Michael grumbled as he kicked a pebble far into the clearing.
“Let me help you, Michael,” Davin said sincerely.
“No! I mean…” His tone of voice was softer. “I can’t ask you to lie for me.”
Davin started laughing lightly. “What do you think we’ve been doing? We’re keeping your secret a secret.”
Michael nodded, realizing what he had allowed his friends to do, and it broke his heart. “I’m sorry,” Michael apologized, unable to look Davin in the eye.
“No need to apologize. Don’t feel bad, Michael, you would have done the same for me if the ro
les were reversed. Anyway, she’s quite adorable…funny…nice.” Davin’s brows arched thinking of other words to say.
Suddenly Caleb and Vivian stepped out.
“Were you eavesdropping?” Michael asked.
“Yeah, something I learned from Davin,” Caleb teased.
“Hey! Sometimes I do,” Davin said with a sly smile. “Not all the time.”
“Did you clean up the lights and the candles for me?” Michael asked Caleb.
“Yes, but seriously, you needed all those lights and candles?”
Michael chuckled. “Sorry, but yes. It wouldn’t have had the same effect without them. Anyway, thank you for taking care of it for me.”
“Anytime. They don’t call me the sweeper for nothing,” Caleb said lightly.
“Claudia, is she okay?” Vivian asked changing the subject.
“Yes. Safe for now, but I’m afraid there may be more fallen, demons, and who knows what after her,” Michael replied.
“What are you going to say at the meeting?” Vivian asked. “If I tell them the truth, I may never see her again. She would be safe, and our world would be safe, but who is to say there aren’t any more like her?” Michael said, torn and confused.
“Whatever you decide, we will be on your side,” Davin reassured him.
“I know, but I’m asking too much from all of you,” Michael replied.
“Don’t worry about us,” Caleb said, surprising Michael with his words.
“I appreciate your honesty. We better get going,” Michael said hesitantly, not wanting to cross over to Halo City. He was torn between what he wanted and the right thing for a guardian angel to do. Could he give up Claudia? It was the right thing to do, but he would feel like he had betrayed her. In the end, he had to do what was best for her.
“After you,” Davin said to Michael, waiting for him to open the field and cross over.
As Michael parted the field, they walked through one after the other. Before closing the field, Michael took one last look to where Claudia had stood the last time he had seen her there all grown up. He never expected her to ever cross over, nor did he expect to fall so completely in love with her. He couldn’t help the way he felt. It was so natural and easy because of the way she made him feel, the way she made him laugh, the way his heart felt full when she was around. His thoughts were quickly interrupted by the sound of his name.