by Maree Green
Even though she was joking, most of what she was saying was true. Aiden had been going through a very tough time when he’d first met Emmy. But I had a feeling that was a part of the reason they were drawn to each other. They’d both been battling demons they couldn’t fight on their own. Together, they helped each other overcome them, and now they were one of the happiest couples I knew.
“Speaking of hunky pieces of man meat,” I said, watching both Aiden and Jace motioning for their girls to join them from the other side of the room.
“What are we?” Emmy said, narrowing her eyes with playful condemnation. “Freaking lap dogs now?”
I laughed, but took a slight step away from them. “I’m going to let you guys go deal with that on your own. Tell them I said good luck.”
With that, I grinned and ducked behind them, heading toward the sales counter where Amber was perched, talking to Amy. A warm buzz hummed in my veins as I weaved around a rotating book stand. I still wasn’t entirely sure it was a good idea for me to be drinking anything at all. The night I’d made a total fool out of myself for Eli, I’d vowed to never drink again. It seemed that very bad things happened when I did, so it made total sense to me to put an end to it. But then Amber had wanted us girls to have a toast after we’d arrived, and then when I heard Eli was going to be here, my brain told me I’d have more success at facing him if I just had another.
Now it was six drinks later, I was probably a little more than slightly intoxicated, and all it had served to do was help me make sure I kept to the exact opposite side of the room from wherever Eli was.
But I felt good. The little pulses of buzzing vibrations were slightly weird, but it made me happy. Until I realized it was my cell phone ringing.
Pulling it out of my pocket, I checked the screen, finding Austin’s name flashing at me brightly. Answering the call, I smiled. “Hey, manwhore.”
His voice grumbled on the other end of the line, but I struggled to hear what he was saying over the loud music.
“Hold on. I can’t hear you,” I said, quickly moving toward the store room. Closing the door behind me, I sighed when the noise immediately softened.
“Rabbit, you’re not drunk, are you?” he said, worry clear in his voice.
“Oh, that’s better. And no—I mean, yeah, probably. But I didn’t mean to be. I actually decided to give up drinking altogether after New Year’s Eve.”
I heard him groan through the phone. “Well, that seems to be working well for you.”
“Shut up. It’s Amber’s bookshop opening. I had to toast her,” I said defensively.
“Either you’ve toasted her a dozen times, or you’re a one-drink wonder, Rabbit,” he said. “As long as you’re with friends. Anyway, I can’t talk for long. I was just calling to see if you wanted to fly over for a game in the spring. Blake’s organizing for his sister, Jade, to come if she can, so I thought I’d ask you too.”
Blake was Austin’s roomy. He was also one of his teammates. “Oh my God, yes! I’d love that.”
“Okay, Rabbit,” he said. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll let Blake know you’re in. Don’t get too drunk. And tell Amber I said congrats!”
I managed to tell him I would, a split second before he hung up. As I stood there, smiling at a now blank screen, I sighed contentedly. I really did love my brother.
Shoving my phone back in my pocket, I turned to head back to the party, but jumped when the door opened.
“Jess?”
My heart leaped into my throat as soon as I heard Eli’s voice. “Eli.” Crap. With my brain scrambling for a way to escape, my mouth opening and closing uselessly, I took a step forward. “I better get back—”
“Don’t,” he said. I froze all movement as he stepped farther inside and closed the door behind him. “Please don’t avoid me, Jess.”
Double crap.
I immediately wanted to deny I was doing anything of the sort, but I closed my mouth before it could come out. It was kind of obvious that was exactly what I’d been doing.
Eli sighed and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Jeans that sat low on his hips, his shirt slightly risen from his hasty movement, showing me a small portion of his tanned, muscular stomach and the beginning of that amazing, sexy contoured part that trailed downward.
Triple crap.
Images from my long-ago dream jumped onto the screen of my mind, tightening my chest and laboring my breathing. Dammit. This really wasn’t going to help my situation. At all.
“Jess,” he said, his gaze raking over my face, “I’m sorry if I did something to upset you the other night. I really am. It was the last thing I wanted to do after everything you’ve been through.”
I watched him carefully as he spoke. His words were all sincere, but that was the problem. It was just another way to shut me down. Drawing in a slow, deep breath, I processed this new rejection. Strangely enough, it didn’t seem to hurt as much as the first. Maybe it was because I already knew it was coming this time.
Offering him a smile, as sad as it might’ve been, I let my defenses down. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t want me that way. I could hardly punish him for it by not speaking to him. “It’s okay,” I said softly. “It’s just been a rough few weeks to get my head around. I’ll get there eventually.”
His expression softened. “I know. And you will. Just please be careful,” he said, concern lacing both his eyes and voice as he glanced at the drink in my hand.
Something about it made my insides quiver. “I am,” I said, finding myself stupidly being lulled into his concern for me. I didn’t know why that made me hot for him, but it seriously did. “I only drink when I’m with friends now. Well, actually, now that I’m not with Wyatt, I don’t really go to any parties. They weren’t really ever my thing.”
He nodded as he watched me, his gaze intense and dark. “Good.”
I didn’t know how he did it, but all the apprehension I’d had—all the nerves and worry I’d carried over seeing him again—was gone. My chest lightened, my breath becoming freer. “I had a dream about you,” I said suddenly, shocking my own voice of reason into a muted state.
Eli’s eyes narrowed a fraction, his head tilting a little with confusion. Shit, my admission confused me.
“The night I was drugged,” I continued, obviously ignoring the panicked flailing my voice of reason was in the process of doing. “You were there.”
His head shook a little in protest, concern creasing the corners of his eyes.
“I know you weren’t. It was just a dream. But it felt so real,” I said, unable to take my eyes off him. “Before I passed out, Wyatt had been talking weird, telling me about his . . . fantasies. He’d said he wanted someone to watch us.”
I watched Eli’s shoulders tense, his jaw clenching a fraction as he raised his chin.
Somewhere inside me, I knew I should stop, that I was only making things worse for myself, but my mouth just kept on going. “Next thing I knew, you were there, watching me,” I said, my body still strangely calm. “I was naked—tied up and blindfolded—but I knew it was you. I could hear your voice.”
“Jess,” Eli said, his voice tight.
I knew it was a warning to stop, but I ignored him. “I don’t know why, but I was insane with need. I begged you to make me feel better—”
That was as far as I got before Eli grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall, taking my mouth with the same kind of need I’d felt for him in my dream. There was no moment of shock or confusion. It was as though I’d been expecting it. I just melted against him, my hands grasping his hips as his clutched onto me, one gripping the back of my head, holding me to his frantic kisses, and the other seizing my waist, squeezing, pushing, stroking.
For the first time in my life, I knew the meaning of passion. I finally understood what people meant when they spoke of feeling connected to someone. It was as though everything just clicked into place for me. It all made sense.
Letting go, I sighed,
my hands moving over his stomach, finding the warmth of his skin and the contours of his muscles. God, I wanted him. I moaned, kissing him deeper, my tongue tasting his, knowing I’d never get enough of this, never got enough of him.
But then his kisses were gone from me, his hands grabbing at mine, pushing them down, holding them by my sides while he pushed his body hard against mine, pinning me to the wall. I stilled as his breath caressed my neck, my thoughts too scattered to understand what was going on.
“Goddamn it, Jess,” he growled against my ear. The amount of need in his voice sent shivers thundering through my body. “You have absolutely no idea what you do to me, do you?” With that, he pushed away from me, releasing his hold, and strode from the room.
As the door swung closed behind him, all I could do was try not to melt into a pile of swooning limbs on the floor.
I had no idea what the hell that had been, but I was ruined. Crap.
Chapter 20
Eli
Putting the last screw into place, I tightened it and dropped the screwdriver back into the toolbox. Swinging my leg over the seat, I cranked the engine and revved the throttle hard, listening to her sing. Happy with how she sounded now, I turned her off again and let out a long, slow breath. As much as I’d been using her as a distraction, the tuneup had honestly been something I’d been trying to get to for the last week. I was happy it was finally done.
As I finished cleaning my hands, Brad came striding in, a six-pack slung over his finger. “I thought I’d find you here,” he said, depositing the beer on the workbench beside me. “Want one?”
He knew I didn’t usually drink much, but we were on break, after all. “Sure.”
Handing one over, he cracked his own and took a swig. “So, you going to tell me what happened last night?”
I’d had a feeling he would go there. Sighing, I glanced up at the ceiling and tried not to lose my shit. I was well and truly over trying to explain to everyone what was going on when it came to Jess. But Brad had done me a solid by coming with me to Amber’s opening, and after I’d just left him there without so much as a word, I knew I owed him one. But where the hell did I start? I had no idea what the hell was going on more than the next person. I actually wished someone could come and explain it me too.
“I did what Adam suggested and went and talked to her,” I started.
Brad nodded and took another drink. “I assume it didn’t go well?” he said, pity clear in his eyes.
It was one of the reasons I considered him such a good friend. He didn’t judge and he didn’t make fun. “No, it went great,” I said, sarcasm obvious. “I made her so comfortable in talking to me, she decided it would be a great idea to tell me about the very vivid, very erotic dream she had about me the night she was drugged.”
Brad spat his drink, the action saying everything, really. “What the fuck?”
I pressed my lips together and raised my eyebrows in a what-do-you-do kind of way.
“What did you say to that?” he asked, his eyes still as wide as dinner plates.
Giving him a deadpan look, I raised my beer. “Speaking wasn’t exactly something I was capable of doing in the moment.” Taking a swig of the beer, I tried to numb the memories that were attempting to push their way forward.
Brad groaned. “What did you do?”
“The only thing I was capable of. I pressed her up against the wall and kissed the fuck out of her while I tried to convince myself to walk away.”
“Ah, okay. Now I get it,” he said, pressing his mouth into a sympathetic pout. “So, what now?”
Dropping down onto the weight bench, I focused on the can in my hand instead of the curious gaze in front of me. “Nothing. That’s what. It’s not the right time. She’s still dealing with the shit from Wyatt, and I need to finish my degree.”
Brad’s returning silence had me looking up. I could tell he didn’t agree with what I said, but he knew me well enough not to argue with me.
I sighed, knowing I was going to regret asking, but feeling compelled to doit anyway. “What?”
He shrugged and shook his head before taking another drink. “Nothing. I just think you’re full of shit.”
Pushing to my feet, I walked over to the workbench and started throwing tools back into their drawers. “Dude, you’re not telling me anything I haven’t heard before. I get it, but I know I’m right. Even if I was prepared to give up my no-dating policy, she’s not ready. I can see it when I look at her. She’s still dealing with the fallout from Wyatt. I’m not going to be her rebound guy, man, and that’s where she’s at. She’s just looking for someone to make her feel better about herself.”
Brad nodded, but it had a slight condescending lilt to it. “Okay, so you think that if something happens, she’s either going to drop you like a hot cake afterwards, or it’s going to distract you from getting your degree.”
It wasn’t a question, but I answered anyway. “Exactly.”
He shook his head and pushed away from the workbench. “Nope. Still think you’re full of shit.”
Friend or no friend, I was starting to get pissed off. “Well, it’s a good thing I don’t care what you think then, isn’t it?”
Brad sighed. “Fuck, you know I’m the last person qualified to give any kind of advice when it comes to relationships, Eli. But I seriously think you’re putting too much thought into this. Jess is a nice chick. She might’ve just broken up with Wyatt, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to use you.”
I was done. With it all. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not going there. End of conversation.”
He watched me as he drew in a long, deep breath, then he picked up his cans and shrugged. “All right, then. Get your shit together. We’re going to Jordan’s. I’ve got a stack of George Washingtons to throw on the table, and this time, I’m leaving with the pot.”
A slow grin crept onto my lips as I watched his cocky smirk. Now this was the distraction I needed. Hooking my arm over his shoulder, I started walking him out. “Dream on, Brother. Dream on. You’re talking to the king of poker here, and your shit will never roll.”
Chapter 21
Jess
Tapping the pen on my notepad, I looked over the new course load I’d just been emailed by my professor. The new semester hadn’t even officially begun yet, but it definitely let me know break time was over. I had some serious work to do.
Sitting back in my chair, I considered the benefits of class starting again. One would be the fact that I was finally on the countdown. My college life was almost over. Soon, I would be beginning my career. My life would be officially underway.
But the biggest benefit of a new course load would be the welcomed distraction it would bring from all things Eli. After Amber’s party the other night, he’d barely left my thoughts, and if I was honest with myself, it was starting to drive me insane. I was actually thinking I’d prefer to go back to the time when he’d rejected me and I thought he didn’t want me. Knowing he wanted me made everything so much worse. It was like that little connection I’d discovered between us that night electrified when we kissed, and the longer we left it, the more intense it became. In a way, it was like a little seed of something had been planted, and now it was well and truly fertilized, and growing completely out of control.
Opening my planner, I forced my mind to focus and started jotting down all the important dates from the email, making sure I noted each unit separately. Now was not the time to get sloppy. I had less than five months to go, and I wanted to finish on a good note.
Pulling up one of the attachments in the email, I started reading, adrenaline building as my mind began throwing ideas at me. Reaching for the notepad again, I giggled as I thought about what Emmy would say about me already getting a start on it. She wasn’t a slacker, but she wasn’t as organized as I was.
With words beginning to fill the page, I let my ideas flow, but as I flipped the page over, ready to keep on going, the sound of a key in the lock made me pause, a
light laugh already bubbling up in my throat.
“Hey, sunshine,” I said, turning in my seat for the door. Emmy pulled her jacket off as she stepped inside, pressing her lips into a tiny smile, but it wasn’t the usual bright one I was used to. “What’s up?” I said, suddenly on alert.
She didn’t speak as she came to sit across from me. She just watched me as thoughts flashed in the depths of her eyes. After a while, she drew in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “People are talking, Jess,” she said.
I screwed up my nose a little. “About?”
She sighed again. “You.”
Okay, that was a surprise. As far as I was aware, people rarely talked about me because I never did anything that was interesting enough to be talked about. “Me? What the hell could anyone be saying about me? I don’t do anything interesting.” Unless it was the fact that I’d broken up with Wyatt. Or . . .
My eyes widened. Unless it had somehow gotten out about the drugging?
Emmy chewed on her lip nervously. “Apparently, someone saw both Zac and Wyatt leaving here in the early hours of the morning a few weeks ago. The rumor going around is that you had a threesome.”
I almost laughed. Like, seriously. Knowing how little I actually got along with Zac, it was almost comical. “That’s funny,” I said, leaning back in my chair.
Sorrow etched her features. “I’m not joking, Jess. This is serious,” she said, but then her eyes widened a little. “Unless it’s true?”
That’s when I really did laugh. “Oh my God, no. I did not sleep with both Wyatt and Zac.”
Her brow creased as she stared at me, then she slowly shook her head. “How can you be so calm? I’d be raving mad if I were you.”
I drew in a deep breath as I watched my roomy across from me. Sometimes I forgot what she’d been through when she was younger. Sexual assault was a serious issue, and I knew I shouldn’t make light of it. I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess because I know it’s not true. What’s the point in stressing over some load of bullshit small-minded people want to make up?”