by Maree Green
I drew in a deep breath, wondering if I could make myself be ready just by telling myself I was often enough. It was doubtful, but even I could be an optimist when I wanted to be. All I needed to do was find a solution to the problem. But before I could do that, I needed to isolate the problem.
Jess. Well, not Jess herself, but the attraction I had for her. Solution? Stop being attracted to her. I almost scoffed at myself for that one. If I hadn’t been able to achieve that in the last three years, then I was never going to achieve it. Unless I became attracted to someone else . . .
I rolled my eyes. Yeah, let’s replace one problem with another. Good one, Eli. Best plan ever. Internally, I cringed. Jesus fucking help me. Now I was starting to think like Isaac.
Okay, so my attraction was never going to go away—because that didn’t depress me at all—but I could probably make Jess stop being attracted to me. All I’d need to do was act like a dick to her and she’d hate me in no time. And if she hated me, nothing would ever happen between us.
I rubbed my forehead. I actually wanted to slap it, because for someone who was supposed to be smart, I was thinking like a fucking dumbass. There had to be an easier solution. One that didn’t result in me hurting Jess, or leaving me seriously scarred for life.
My mind drifted to the way she felt against me the night I pressed her up against the wall. That one little taste had been my downfall. If I had just been able to restrain myself, I might’ve had a better chance at walking away. But like an addict, it had only served to taunt me—to tempt me to take more. Every part of me was obsessed with it. Just once. That’s all I wanted. To feel her in every possible way.
Dropping the pen onto the table, I rubbed my hands over my face. Just once. Yeah, right. Said every addict ever . . .
Maybe if I just went on a binge of one-nighters. Jess would have to give up on me then. It might also help me to dispense all the sexual tension I was dying from right now.
Brad kicked me under the table. “Dude.”
I blinked at the screen on the wall before looking down at my blank notepad in front of me. Okay, I was in serious trouble.
Scrambling to jot everything down, I swore under my breath. Fucking awesome. Now I’d be spending the night reviewing the session instead of getting a start on my fucking assignment. This shit seriously needed to stop. Pulling my head out of my ass, I forced myself to listen to the rest of the class. The whole ten minutes that was left of it. Fuck my life.
Anger started seeping into my veins as I walked out to the parking lot with Brad after class. I’d never been so pissed off with myself before. The whole situation was beyond ridiculous.
“Dude,” Brad said, stopping me short. “I’m just going to say it—not because I want to tell you what to do, but someone’s got to tell you. You’re deliberately staying away from Jess so you can focus on your studies, right?” I nodded warily. “But from where I’m standing, you’re more distracted than ever,” he said, lifting one shoulder. “Maybe you should just give it a shot with her, man. You never know. If you take away all the frustration and shit going on, you might be able to concentrate on what you’re doing. Because, dude, if today was any indication of what you’re in for this semester, then you’re seriously screwed.”
Looking up to the trees, I exhaled in a huff. I knew he was only trying to help, but I didn’t want to hear it. “I can’t, man. If I let myself have her in any way, I won’t be able to put in the time I need to finish this. I didn’t spend the last seven years doing this shit, only to fail at the end.”
Brad shook his head. “Eli, people date and study all the time without failing. You’ll figure it out.”
“It’s four months,” I said, not willing to give up. “I just need to ride it out. Then I can decide if I want to do anything about it.”
Pity shone in Brad’s eyes, making me tighten my jaw. “Do you even believe your own shit, man? As soon as you graduate, you’ll be straight into the bar review. Then it’ll be the bar exam. Then it’ll be a new job. I mean, if Jess isn’t that important to you, then, by all means, keep doing what you’re doing, but if she’s more than that, you should probably rethink your strategy. I can tell you now, she’s not going to wait around for you, man.”
Irritation flared. I knew it was completely irrational, but his words had struck chords I’d been purposely ignoring. “You don’t know her enough to know what she would do.”
He sighed, disappointment settling his mouth into a frown. “She’s human, Eli. I don’t need to know her to know that she’ll move on. That’s life. It keeps moving us forward whether we like it or not.” With that, he clapped me on the shoulder and turned away from me. “See you tomorrow, Brother.”
As I watched him walk away, I tried to push his words down. He was wrong. He might’ve had good intentions, but I knew Jess, and I knew myself better. If I allowed Jess to come into my life, she would consume me in the best way possible, and I would fail. And where would that leave me? Hating myself for not being able to finish what I’d started. I just couldn’t let that happen.
Raising my chin, I started for my truck, but paused my steps when I saw Wyatt and Zac in the far shadows of the parking lot. Their body language was blatantly hostile and had me instantly on alert. Zac’s hands moved through the air as though he was trying to get answers, but Wyatt was a closed book. He shook his head, his hands slicing across his body in a definite rebuttal. Whatever they were arguing about, they were not seeing eye to eye, and neither of them looked as though they were backing down.
A few minutes later, Wyatt turned his hands up and took a step back. I didn’t know who had been the one to start it, but Wyatt was definitely finishing it. As he turned away from Zac and started stalking back toward the dorms, Zac’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, and his eyes narrowed with contempt. If his look told me anything at all, it was that he was ready to fight.
Tension gripped my muscles as I climbed into the truck. I had no idea what that had been about, but all I could think was that I was damned happy Jess wasn’t a part of it anymore. Regardless of my decision to stay away from her, I still wanted her to be safe. Whatever it took.
Chapter 25
Jess
Pulling my jacket around me a little tighter, I clutched my Starbucks cup in both hands and sipped on my coffee, trying in vain to warm myself up. It was an unusually cold day, and all I wanted to do was curl up on the couch with a good book and dream about guys who didn’t fuck me around. Well, obviously, they would fuck me around, but in all the good ways.
Sitting down on the bench in the only bit of sun available, I stretched out and sighed. Even though I’d just been on break less than two weeks ago, I felt like I was ready for another one. I had no idea being the center of gossip could be so draining.
“Hey, gorgeous,” Emmy said, dropping down beside me. “Do you want the bad news, or the bad news?”
I groaned. “Awesome. But that sounds about how my life is going right now. Just tell me.”
She sighed. I could tell she didn’t want to tell me, but that’s how I knew she was a good friend. “I just ran into Victoria Holmes, and she said she had a little chat with Wyatt yesterday.”
I groaned louder. This was not going to end well. I could just tell.
“Apparently, she just asked him point-blank about the threesome thing, and guess what he said?” she said, her eyes narrowing dangerously.
Anxiety fluttered in my gut. “Do I want to know?”
She scoffed with hatred. “He didn’t deny it, Jess. He said, ‘What kind of an ex would I be if I spilled all our bedroom secrets?’”
I stared at her for a long time. I didn’t actually think I’d ever been so insulted in all my life. And as each passing moment moved on to the next, the disregard he had for my reputation drew forth an anger inside me that just kept building on itself.
Emmy scowled. “I’m so pissed off for you. I want to go smack him.”
Finishing my coffee in one big gul
p, I pushed up to my feet. “It’s okay. I got this.”
Her eyes widened as she scrambled to her own feet. “What are you going to do? Do you want me to come?”
Giving her a hug, I tried to reassure her with a smile. “I’ll be okay. I’m just going to go talk with him.”
Taking the keys out of my pocket, I waved goodbye and made my way to where I’d parked my car. On the outside, I looked calm, but inside, my blood was boiling. I was having real trouble believing Wyatt could’ve said something like that, and I hoped like hell it was a serious case of bad translation, because I honestly didn’t know what I was going to do to him if I found out it was true.
Pulling up to the curb, I cut the engine and stared out at the McGeorge dorms. As much as I didn’t give a shit about small-minded people and the rumors they so loved to revel in, I was not going to stand for this kind of shit.
Climbing from the car, I slung my bag over my shoulder and stormed up the path, my hands clenching at my sides. As soon as I reached Wyatt’s door, I bashed on it, hard.
The speed and velocity at which the door swung opened surprised me, but as soon as I saw Wyatt’s face, I remembered why I was there.
“Jess,” he said, obviously surprised to see me. “What are you doing here?”
I raised my chin. “Can I come in, or would you prefer me to yell at you out here in the hall?”
His eyes narrowed, his mind obviously calculating how serious I was, but after a few minutes, he stood to the side and opened the door wider for me to pass.
Striding into the room, I stopped by the foot of his bed, crossed my arms, and turned to face him. “I just need you to answer one question, Wyatt. Why the hell would you allude to Victoria Holmes that this ridiculous rumor is true?”
His expression gave nothing away. I was sure it was something they taught in law school, because Eli was practically the same. “What rumor?”
I was not in the mood to play games. In fact, I was far from it. My teeth clenched. “Don’t play stupid, Wyatt. You know exactly what I’m talking about. The gossips, I can handle. The small-minded, childish taunts, I can ignore. But blatant lies from the one person who could either choose to refute it or ignore it, I won’t let slide,” I said, growing angrier by the second. “I just don’t get why you would bother to lie in the first place. What good does it do? We’re not in fucking high school anymore, Wyatt. You don’t need to bullshit people to get some sort of notch etched into some fictitious fucking post. Where’s your goddamn honor in all this?”
Wyatt straightened, his chin rising a fraction with defiance. “I think you’ll find that I didn’t actually admit to it. I just didn’t see the need to refute it.”
His response only served to piss me off more. “Is this how little you cared for me all this time, Wyatt? That you give zero fucks about my reputation? Or is this one of those things that fits into the category of not wanting to rock the boat?”
“Judge me all you like, Jess. You’re no different from the rest of the sheep out there judging you right now. I’m sorry you’ve got people talking shit behind your back, but it’s not my problem. I didn’t start the fucking rumors. You’re just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. I’ve got my own shit to deal with.”
Slowly, I shook my head. I was speechless. I could hardly believe this was the guy who’d been promising me the world in his future. “Who the hell are you, Wyatt? Do you even know? Does anyone? Or is that just a thing you reserve for Zac?”
His expression instantly turned dangerous. “Leave Zac out of this.”
“Why?” I demanded. “It’s his fault the damned rumor started in the first place. If he hadn’t come to my apartment that night, no one would’ve had anything to make shit up with. And while we’re on the topic, do you want to try to explain to me why he was really in my apartment that night? Because I know it had nothing to do with his damned brother!”
As his expression shut down even further, my teeth and hands clenched harder. It was about then I realized I wasn’t going to get anything else from him at all. Whatever the reason had been, it was a secret I was never going to be privy to. “You know what?” I said, starting for the door. “I’ll just go ask Zac. He might be more accommodating.”
Up until that moment, fear wasn’t even on my radar, but as his head tilted downward and his gaze turned cold, I felt it. Whatever it was, he did not want me to know. Nausea tingled in my stomach. Even though I knew nothing could’ve happened to me that night, the obvious desperate need he had to keep it buried made me uneasy. It made me second-guess everything.
Wyatt stepped forward, his intent clear. “Zac’s out of town for a few days, but if you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave it alone, Jess. And no, that’s not a threat. It’s a warning. If you keep pushing, I will push back.”
Something about the iciness in his eyes told me he wasn’t bluffing, and it chilled me to the core. What the hell had I gotten myself into?
Chapter 26
Eli
Stepping up on the curb, I swerved around the line of hedges and followed the path into the park. As the wind swept through the trees, the icy drifts collecting the fallen leaves off the ground and tossing them in the air, I pulled the collar of my jacket higher, trying to keep warm. As much as I loved Starbucks, I was not a fan of this kind of weather. I would’ve definitely preferred to have stayed at home.
Roughly running a hand over my hair, I briskly shoved them both into the pockets of my jeans, hastening my steps in the hopes of reaching the shelter of the shops faster. As I stepped under the awning, the wind instantly disappearing behind the block walls, I exhaled with relief. Jordan was definitely getting a punch for dragging me out today, that was for sure. I had no idea why he needed both Brad and me to meet him so urgently, but if he wasn’t such a good friend, I would’ve told him to fuck off.
Passing the drug store, I slowed my steps when I felt my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. I frowned as soon as I saw Noah’s name on my screen. The only things we’d discussed recently had been all the shit with Jess. This didn’t bode well.
Sliding my thumb across the screen, I pressed it my ear. “Brother,” I said, cautious.
“Hey, Bro. How are you doing?”
I stopped walking and took shelter beside a large plant. “I’m doing okay. What’s up?”
Nervous energy stirred in my gut when I heard him sigh. “I just thought you should know we arrested the dealer today. He admitted to selling to Zac Schuler.”
My stomach tightened. “Did he say what he sold him?”
“Yeah,” he said, his tone pinched. “It was definitely GHB, man.”
Even though I already suspected, hearing it confirmed made my gut sink. “Can you do anything about Zac now?” I knew the most they could get him for would be buying the shit, but I was hopeful they had something else to go on.
“You know how it works, man. Not unless we have cause. If Jess came forward and reported she was drugged that night, we could probably check for surveillance, but other than that, not much.”
“Dammit,” I said, kicking at the ground. “Can’t Kaeli convince her to do it?”
“She’s tried, man, but she’s refusing. I’m not sure why. She won’t say.”
Damn, that girl drove me crazy sometimes. Looking out across the park, I shook my head. “So there’s nothing you can do to investigate the asshole at all?”
“Not really,” Noah said.
He continued to explain the situation as best he could, but I stopped listening when my gaze found the fiery-haired girl at the root of the problem. But it wasn’t the fact that she was in my sight, looking as gorgeous as ever, that had me seeing red. It was the fuckface asshole she was leaning up against as she sat on the table, her broad smile shining like he was the most amazing thing in the world.
Cutting Noah off, I barked into the phone, “Gotta go, Bro. I’ll call you later.” Without waiting for him to answer, I ended the call and started striding through the p
ark.
I had no idea what I was doing or what I was going to say when I reached her, but I was damned intent on getting there, regardless. I needed to know who this fuckface was.
As I drew closer, I heard her laugh, her head falling back as she pushed against the guy’s chest. My muscles coiled.
I looked the guy over as I weaved through the trees. I didn’t recognize him at all. He looked about the same age as me, but he seemed more like a jock. Well, the varsity jacket implied that anyway. He was big, and obviously very fit, despite the bulky clothing he was wearing. That fact didn’t help my mood at all.
“Jess,” I said, slowing my steps.
Her gaze jumped to mine with surprise. “Eli.”
She didn’t offer anything else as she stared at me. I wasn’t sure if that was because she just wanted me to disappear and leave her alone with fuckface, or if she didn’t have anything to say to me.
I watched her frown, her gaze darting back and forth between the guy and me. “Uh, Eli, this is Trent. Trent, Eli is a friend of the group’s.”
I didn’t miss the fact that she explained to him who I was, but missed explaining to me who the fuck he was. It also pissed me off that she’d introduced me as just a friend of the group. What the fuck was that about? Why couldn’t she have just said I was a friend hers?
The guy tilted his head a little as he watched me. The amused little smile on his face pissed me off. I considered not bothering to offer the guy my hand, but, unfortunately, it went against my upbringing.
Sticking my hand out, I waited for the guy to shake it. His eyebrow twitched as he clasped my hand. “Nice to meet you, Eli,” he said. “What do you want with Jess?”
My jaw tightened. I wanted to tell him it was none of his fucking business, but Jess looked as though she was about to have an anxiety attack. I drew in a calming breath as I looked toward her. “I just spoke with Noah. Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Jess fidgeted in her seat. I’d never seen her look more uncomfortable. “I, uh, sure,” she said, sliding forward to stand.