by Maree Green
Chapter 32
Eli
As soon as the door closed behind Wyatt, all the tension I’d been holding on to instantly sought a way out of my system. My fists clenched and my jaw tightened. My breathing labored and my muscles slowly coiled, demanding a release.
Striding to the other side of the room, I exhaled heavily, trying to release it slow and steady, hoping it would somehow calm me, even just a little. Pausing when I reached the kitchen counter, I tried it again.
Nothing.
I felt like some kind of goddamn explosive device, trigger set, ready to blow. Clenching and unclenching my hands, I rolled my neck, closing my eyes for good measure. Some of this shit had to work.
“Eli?”
But that wasn’t it.
Turning, I released my breath and tried to get my hands to relax by my sides. Forcing my gaze to meet hers, I almost groaned at how vulnerable she looked. Every instinct inside me was telling me to go to her, take her in my arms, and let her know everything was going to be all right. But I couldn’t do that. I needed to show her I could respect her boundaries.
“What you said to Wyatt,” she said. “Is that true? Is Zac being arrested?”
Exhaling, I nodded, trying to unlock my clenched jaw. “Yeah, that’s what I was coming to tell you. Noah gave me a heads-up just before. I asked him if I could be the one to tell you. I didn’t know Wyatt would be here abusing you. That was just pure luck on my part.”
She swallowed, worry creasing her brow. “Can you explain to me what’s going on? I feel so confused right now. I don’t even really know why Wyatt was so angry.”
Of course she wouldn’t. “You have no idea how much I wanted to go over there and beat the fuck out of Zac when Noah told me, Jess. I still do. If I hadn’t seen that video, I probably would have.” Pinching the bridge of my nose, I tried to think of a way to explain the rest of it to her without complicating things. “Okay, the rest of it is mostly speculation, but from what I can understand, Wyatt called it off with Zac—broke up with him—whatever you want to call it, about a week ago. Zac, the true lover scorned, got drunk and decided to get some revenge, so he started telling anyone who’d listen that he and Wyatt had actually been a thing for quite some time, and just how heartbroken he was.”
I paused, watching her expression for any signs of distress. This was her ex-boyfriend after all. But when I only saw curiosity, I continued.
“As far as the arrest went, after you reported the drugging, the cops were able to get a hold of some surveillance footage from the venue that night, which did, in fact, show Zac slipping something into your drink. That, along with the video they already had of him making the purchase, and your positive test results, is all they need, Jess. Zac fucked up, and he’s about to pay the price.”
Jess rubbed her forehead. It was obvious she was overwhelmed by the whole ordeal. And it didn’t help my resolve at all. Twisting her fingers together, she gazed up at me. “I just don’t get it, Eli. Why would Zac want to drug me? It’s not like he wanted to take advantage of me.”
I started shaking my head before she’d even finished. “You don’t know that. You can’t. Just because he and Wyatt had a thing doesn’t mean he didn’t want to do something to you too. Anything is possible, Jess. He could be bi. He could’ve wanted to do something that included you and Wyatt. He could’ve wanted to make Wyatt pay for something. You just don’t know.”
As much I needed her to see things for how they really could be, I hated seeing the fear flare in her eyes. It made me want to kick myself, hard. All I wanted to do was touch her, hold her, comfort her. It was torture to stand there and do nothing but watch her struggle to make sense of it all.
Watching her sink down onto the couch, I clenched my hands, trying to think of some other way that might show her how sincere I was—that I could be her friend in this time of confusion and worry.
Sitting down across from her, I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. “It’ll be okay, Jess. I won’t let either of them hurt you.”
She watched me for a long while, before her gaze shifted out the window in thought. It was obvious she was struggling to get her head around everything that was going on. It was a lot harder than I thought it should’ve been to just let her sort through it on her own. But after a while, she glanced up at me, her gaze searching mine. “Eli,” she said, her voice soft, curious, “I know this is probably not the right time to do this, but . . . I don’t know if I’ll ever get another chance.” She wet her lips, her gaze searching mine. “I just need you to know that I really like you. A lot. I know you have your reasons for choosing not to date right now, but I just want to know. Is there room for me to hope? Or should I just let you go?”
God-fucking-dammit. She seriously may as well have ripped my fucking heart right out my chest. “Jess,” I said, slowly shaking my head, “please don’t ask me that.”
Her eyes pleaded with me. “I need to know, Eli. If you really do want me like you say you do, I’ll be patient. But if you don’t, just tell me now and I’ll let it go. I promise, you won’t ever hear me mention it again.”
Closing my eyes, I squeezed them tight. “Please don’t ask me that, Jess. I can’t ask you to wait for me. I don’t know what the fuck I’ll be doing next month, let alone in five months’ time. Neither do you. Anything can happen in five months.”
“You’re not asking me, Eli,” she said, raising her chin a little. “I’m asking you to be honest. The choice is mine to make. I just want to know what you feel for me.”
“I don’t know, Jess,” I said, letting my shoulders drop. “I really don’t. I’ve spent the better part of the last three years either pretending I don’t feel anything for you, or pushing my feelings so far down, I don’t even know what they are anymore. I can’t answer that without opening myself up to you, and I can’t afford to do that right now. All I know is that I care about you more than any other person I know, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
She watched me for a long while, her gaze switching from one eye to the other. Then, slowly, she gave me a slight nod and stood. “Okay. I understand. I’m going to take a shower. You know the way out.” With a sad smile, she stepped past the coffee table and made her way toward the stairs. “Bye, Eli.”
As I watched her disappear up the stairs, I knew that had been the moment. That was my crossroads. And whether I intended to or not, I’d made a definite choice.
Now I just needed to live with it.
Chapter 33
Jess
The bass was pumping and lights were flashing. All around us, bodies, glistening with sweat, swayed and gyrated. From my place on the edge of the dance floor, I raised my hands, my cup carefully positioned so I wouldn’t spill my drink, and swung my hips in time with the music. Beside me, Amber and Kaeli bumped their booties, raising their cups against mine.
Amber winked. “To the Murphy boys,” she yelled over the music. “The good, the bad, and the . . . really good-looking.”
Kaeli laughed and took a mouthful of drink, but I playfully glared at Amber’s smirking face. I was not in the mood to toast Eli, even once.
“Oh, come on,” Amber shouted. “If it weren’t for Eli, you wouldn’t be here getting loose with your bitches right now.”
She had a point. And it wasn’t just me. Isaac wasn’t in Amber’s good books, either. Since their little New Year’s Eve rumble in the sheets, he’d been treating her as though she was going to turn stalker on his ass or something. Amber wasn’t impressed.
Lifting a shoulder, I tossed my drink back and smiled. “The Murphy boys can all go to hell.”
“Yeah!” Kaeli said, tossing the rest of her drink back.
I laughed. “It’s okay. We’ll excuse Noah.”
“No, no,” she said, her words slurring a little. “Same DNA. Tonight, it’s us against them.”
“Hell, yeah!” Amber cheered, her long pink curls bouncing over her shoulder as she firmly placed a hand on her
sexed-up hip.
“We need more drink,” I said, holding up my now-empty cup and turning for the bar.
As I weaved through the crowd, Amber and Kaeli at my heels, I thought about where things were now with Eli. It wasn’t that I was angry with him or anything else, really. He’d made his decision, and that was the end of it. This was me, trying in vain to soothe my bruised ego and move forward. I was proud of myself for being honest with him. The fact that it hadn’t gone the way I’d wanted it to sucked in a massive way, but that was the risk I took.
Squeezing into a spot at the bar, I smiled at the cute barman. “Three cowboys, please,” I said with a wink.
He smirked at me before pulling out three shot glasses and lining them up on the bar. I watched him as he poured a measure of schnapps into each glass. I bet he picked up a lot of girls. He had that bad boy kind of look going on I imagined would taunt any suffering girl into thinking he’d soothe their troubles for the night. It would suit me perfectly fine right now.
As he finished off the Irish Liqueur with a flourish, I licked my lips and handed him my money. “Keep the change.”
His gaze wandered down to my cleavage. “Thanks, gorgeous.”
Passing the shooters to the girls, I picked mine up and grinned. Amber gave me a knowing look with her trademark smirk. “Look at you, you little slut. I taught you well.”
With a sassy lift of my shoulder, I tossed the shooter back and felt the warmth of it all the way down my throat. “Oh, yeah.”
“My turn,” Amber said, sliding past me with a wink.
I laughed at her as she approached one of the other barmen, her head tilted seductively as she glanced up at him through her long, thick lashes. The poor guy had no chance. Turning back to Kaeli, I bumped my hip into hers. “Hey, thanks for coming out tonight,” I said. “I know you didn’t have to.”
She nudged me with her shoulder. “I’m glad you invited me. Are you having fun?”
Reading between the lines, I got the question she was really asking. Was I starting to forget about Eli? “I’m having so much fun. And I’ll get there eventually.”
She chuckled before her expression fell into a scowl. “We’re so cranky at him, Jess,” she said. “We all know he’s got a thing for you. He’s being so ridiculously stubborn I just want to smack him upside his head.”
I appreciated her support, but I didn’t want to talk about Eli tonight. Tonight was about forgetting and moving forward. I shrugged. “His loss.” As Amber turned and thrust a drink into my hand, I held it up and smiled. “And this,” I said, “is to the future. May it be filled with hot, sweaty sex and many orgasms.”
“Oh, I’ll toast to that,” Amber said, smacking her cup into mine.
Kaeli joined hers straight after. “Me too!”
As the newest Beyoncé song started playing through the speakers, I squealed and dashed toward the dance floor, Amber and Kaeli fast at my heels. It was time to get loose.
Closing my eyes, I let the slight spin inside my head wash over me, swaying me in time with the beat of the music. I knew I’d promised myself that I’d put my head down and focus on study for the rest of the semester, but this was exactly what I needed right now. I’d deal with the rest tomorrow.
Belting out the lyrics, I bumped my hips side to side, opening my eyes to sing the words to my favorite girls in the world. But instead of finding Amber thrashing about in front of me, I found Noah, stoic and intense. Well, he was technically in front of Kaeli, but it was kind of in front of me too, seeing as we were all standing in a circle.
I blinked as I watched him stare down at his girlfriend, his gaze dark and taunting. Kaeli smirked up at him playfully, more amused with his dark appearance than anything else. He stalked forward, taking her hips in his hands, looking very much like he was ready to devour her.
That was when I noticed Isaac and Eli behind him. Uh-oh.
Amber raised her chin as she narrowed her gaze on Isaac. There was no mistaking it. She was in feisty mode. If I had any chance of feeling anything for Isaac right now, I’d pity him. But I didn’t, so I just stood back and watched the battle begin.
Isaac’s gaze ran down her body. “Hey, legs.”
She cocked her head to the side and sized him up. “Well, are you going to stand there all night, or are you going to come press that hulking body of yours against mine?”
I huffed. They were both traitors of the worst kind.
There was no point pretending I couldn’t see Eli. We weren’t in freaking grade school. Letting my gaze roam up his body, I hesitated for a moment before looking into his eyes. If I’d thought Noah’s look for Kaeli was intense, Eli’s was freaking cataclysmic. With his jaw set tight, he searched my face, his gaze slowly drifting to the cup in my hand before darkening yet again.
Slowly, he made his way closer, only coming to a stop when he was a foot away from me. The heat in his eyes sent shivers through my body as he searched my face. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but I hoped like hell he’d find it and just take the damned thing.
“Do you not have any sense of personal safety?” he asked, his voice deep and barely restrained.
His gaze caressed every part of my face, moving over my lips, my jaw, my neck, heat flaring in the depths of his eyes. My God. Did he have any idea what he did to me? Drawing in a shaky breath, I licked my lips. “I’ll be fine.”
His eyes narrowed a fraction. “Damn straight you will be, because I’m not leaving until you do now. And I’ll be the one taking you home.”
I tried not to like his authoritative tone, but it only served to incite need inside me. “Are you going to fuck me?” I asked, already knowing the answer, but hopeful just the same.
His jaw tightened, but he didn’t break my gaze. “Don’t play games with me, Jess. You already know I have limited control when it comes to you. Play with your friends, drink as much as you want. I’m here to make sure you stay safe. And when you’re done, I’ll take you home. That’s it.”
Drawing my teeth over my bottom lip, I assessed this darker side of him. If he thought it would make me behave and accept the rules he’d put in place, he was in for a nasty surprise.
Chapter 34
Eli
Swinging my feet to the floor, I groaned and forced my body to sit up. With great effort, I leaned forward and dropped my head into my hands. As much as Jess’s couch was unbelievably comfortable to sit in, it wasn’t great for sleeping on. It just wasn’t anywhere near long enough to fit my six-foot-three frame, unfortunately.
Pushing to my feet, I sauntered into the kitchen and studied the coffeemaker. It didn’t look too different from the one Mom had, so I hoped like hell I’d be able to get the thing working. I seriously needed caffeine.
After a minute of searching with close to ninja-like skills, I located the water tank and refilled it, before doing the same with the coffee. With fingers crossed, I pushed a couple of buttons and sighed when I heard the telltale signs of magic happening.
Relieved the coffee was on its way, I grabbed a mug off the sink and dumped a spoonful of sugar in the bottom. As I waited for the brew to be done, I gazed over at the stairs, wondering what my next move should be. Jess had been pretty drunk when I’d put her to bed the night before, so I didn’t think she’d be up too early, but if I didn’t make the decision to either stay or go soon, the choice of whether I wanted to see her this morning would be taken out of my hands.
The other issue was the fact that I had no idea what time Emmy was due home. All I knew was that she and Aiden had stayed at his mom’s house for some family celebration or something. I wasn’t too keen to be here when she got home, so it wasn’t the ideal situation for me to be in.
Taking the finished pot, I poured myself a cup and leaned back against the counter. As much as I’d tried not to think about the events of the night before, it had been virtually impossible for me not to while I’ll been lying on her damned couch, wide awake for most of the night. The entire club scene
had been a fucking nightmare. With Noah all over Kaeli and Isaac all over Amber, the distance between me and Jess had been like a living, breathing pit of hell.
Noah hadn’t been impressed with the fact that I’d tagged along in the first place, but he was even less so when I made sure I kept my distance from Jess while they’d been partying. I knew he didn’t get it, but that was the promise I’d made to her.
I sighed as I remembered the way Jess had approached me later in the night, telling me she was ready to go. She didn’t say it in so many words, but I knew her night had been ruined, and it was all my fault.
I tried to feel sorry for that, but I couldn’t. With everything that had happened, and Wyatt still not in the clear, I didn’t trust anyone enough to just let her go off without a care in the world. The others may have said they had her back, but with the amount of alcohol the girls had consumed, and the tunnel vision my brothers had for them, it wasn’t a chance I was prepared to take.
Nursing my mug in one hand, I rubbed the other over my face. This shit was just going from bad to worse. It didn’t matter what I did, or what I said, I was just getting myself in deeper. Was there any point in trying anymore? I was starting to feel as though I was swimming against the fucking current.
Closing my eyes, I shook my head. Four months. That’s all there was. Surely, I could suck it up and just get through it. It couldn’t be that hard.
My body stilled as I caught movement on the stairs, the raging battle inside me muting, dumbfounded by the image appearing before me. I groaned, trying to swallow down the reaction taking place inside me.
Jess, wearing nothing but a tank and a pair of panties, her hair disheveled and falling wildly over her shoulders, stepped down the last of the stairs, her hands rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she moved. “Oh my God, Emmy. That smells amazing.”
Motherfucking hell.
Tensing, I tried to compose myself before she saw me.
As she rounded the corner, I saw her look up and blink before her eyes widened with horror. “Eli!”