by Maree Green
His eyes flashed with fury before he reached forward and cut the engine. “Get off the fucking bike, Eli!”
Throwing my leg over, I ripped at the helmet and pulled it off, throwing it to the ground as I took a few steps away from the bike. I turned, ready to rip Adam a new asshole, but he was already putting the kickstand down and pointing for the cave.
“Get in the cave,” he growled.
My teeth clenched.
“I mean it, Eli. Don’t make me beat the fuck out of you. Get in the cave, now.”
Turning on my heels, I marched into the cave, striding toward the back, purely because I knew I needed to keep moving or something was going to get smashed.
As I turned back to the door, Adam tossed a couple of boxing gloves at me. “Put them on.”
He didn’t wait to see if I’d do as he told me. He just moved over to the punching bag and stood behind it, hands gripping and body braced. I didn’t speak as I yanked the gloves into place. It was something we’d all done since we were old enough to lose our tempers. I’d rarely had a need for it, but Adam, Isaac, and Noah had used it more times than I could count.
As I stalked toward the bag, I thought about everything that had happened since last night. Jess’s carefree behavior at the club, the way she’d tirelessly flirted with me, her matter-of-fact view of the whole situation, her disappointment in me, my disappointment in me, the fact that she was fucking used to coming second when she deserved to always come first, the fact that I wanted to put her first but I couldn’t do that without fucking up all my plans for my career.
Reaching the bag, I started laying into it, the punches coming hard and fast with no sign of them ever stopping. Anger coursed through me, rising victoriously like a fucking beast. It reveled in it, harnessing its energy and using it to beat me down. I gasped for breath, but I didn’t stop. My arms burned and sweat trailed down my face, but I still slammed into it. It was all my anger, all my frustrations, all my resentment.
After a while, I felt myself starting to break. Every muscle burned, my pulse was insanely out of control, and I was so ridiculously exhausted, I could hardly breathe. Leaving both hands resting against the bag, I dropped my forehead on top of them and tried to suck some oxygen into my lungs.
After a few minutes, Adam thrust a water bottle in front of my face and stepped back to watch me with wary eyes. “Now, talk.”
I shook my head, tossing the gloves onto the ground and gulping down some water. But I sat, and I tried to work out how to say what was wrong with me. “I fucked up,” is all I could come up with.
Adam dropped down onto a crate and raised an eyebrow. “I thought as much. I’m guessing Jess?”
Raising my gaze to the ceiling, I tried to search for a way out of the shit I’d gotten myself into. “I slept with her.”
Adam cocked his head to the side as he studied me. “Was she drunk?”
I rolled my eyes. “No.”
“Did she want it?”
I almost laughed, but it was far from funny. “Yes.”
He shook his head. “I’m failing to see the problem here, Eli.”
Slamming the bottle of water on the workbench, I snarled at him. “The problem is, she wants more and I can’t give her more, and you can’t see why that’s a problem because you’re not me, Adam. I’m not like you and Isaac and Noah. I don’t throw caution to the fucking wind and hope it all turns out. I’ve been working my ass off for the last seven years to get where I am now. I have four fucking months left, and then the bar. I can’t afford to be distracted right now.”
Adam stood, slowly inhaling before letting it out again. “So you keep saying, Brother. But let me tell you something, the cat in the cradle is a real thing, Eli, and the sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be.”
With that, he turned and strode from the cave, his words echoing inside my head, leaving me numb and more than a little confused.
Chapter 37
Jess
Placing my washed glass on the sink to drain, I grabbed the dish towel and slowly dried my hands. Looking out through the window at the backyard, I let a soft smile touch my lips. Today was Bianca’s seventeenth birthday, and as much as she’d tried to convince Mom not to make a fuss, here we were, making the biggest fuss possible. Unfortunately, Austin hadn’t been able to make it, but he’d sent her a gorgeous silver anklet in his place, so she wasn’t too upset about it.
Leaning back against the counter, I sighed. The sound was a mixture of contentment and sadness, which was completely contradictory, but that was my life lately. As Mom hurried into the kitchen with a large pile of crockery in her arms, I lurched forward and grabbed the ones that looked as though they were on the brink of toppling over before she made it to the sink.
“Thanks, sweet girl,” she said, wiping her brow. Flopping back against the counter, she huffed. “Thank God that’s over. I seriously don’t remember you being this difficult.”
I was about to tell her that was because we never did family birthday events when I was a teenager, but I left it alone.
“Are you okay?” she said, studying me curiously. “You look a little washed out.”
I wiggled my head side to side. “I’m okay. Just your usual boy dramas.”
Her mouth screwed up to the side with sympathy. “Oh, I hear you there. I’m about ready to throttle Norman today. He’s done nothing to help me out all day. I don’t know where he thinks all this shit comes from.” She rolled her eyes. “But I thought you broke up with Wyatt? Who’s giving you trouble?”
I considered her question, trying to decide whether I should tell her or not. I thought it might be nice to get it off my chest a little, and who knew, maybe she might have some advice she could give me. Taking a deep breath, I shrugged. “Yeah, I broke up with Wyatt, but it’s still kind of complicated,” I said, my shoulders drooping dejectedly. “But he’s not really my problem. It’s Eli—”
“Norman!” Mom yelled, her gaze directed outside the kitchen window. “Don’t let the dog eat that! He’ll be sick again!” I watched her push away from the counter, her brow pressed into an irritated scowl. “Lord freaking help me,” she mumbled under her breath, already making her way around the counter. “Sorry, sweetie. I’ll be back in a minute.”
I pressed my lips into a forced smile as she dashed out the door, stomping right up to the dog beside Norman and prying his mouth open to retrieve whatever it was he was eating. I watched and waited, but when I saw Uncle Don hand her a drink as she dropped into a chair with a laugh, I decided my time here was done.
Picking up my bag, I slipped out the back and gave Bianca a warm hug. “Bye, B. Enjoy the rest of your birthday. I’ll catch you again soon.”
She turned her puppy dog eyes on me as soon as I released her. “You’re not staying to sing?”
Ah, I’d forgotten about the singing. Apparently, Mom had hired a karaoke machine for the night and Bianca was having a bunch of her friends sleep over. “Sorry, B. College is a bitch. If I want to graduate this spring, I need to get my shit together.”
She rolled her eyes, but she nodded her understanding. “You still need to talk to Mom about me coming to stay.”
As much as I hadn’t been up for the drama that could come with a hormonal teenager on a sleepover, I thought it could actually be a good thing for me right now. It wasn’t like I had any guys dropping over or anything. “I’ll talk to Mom tomorrow, okay?”
“Thanks, Jess,” she said, kissing me on the cheek. “Love you.”
“Love you too, B.” Glancing over and seeing Mom caught up in a game with Uncle Don, I sighed. “Tell Mom I said bye. I’m not going anywhere near that.”
Bianca giggled, but she agreed before running off to join them.
Slipping out the front door, I crossed the street and headed for the shortcut home, across the park. It wasn’t the shortest of walks, but I liked the time it gave me to think. I needed it at the moment.
Following the path that wound throu
gh the trees, I thought over my current predicament. As much as I was disappointed with the way things had gone with Eli, I couldn’t argue about it. He had warned me that he wasn’t prepared to commit to anything. It was stupid of me to think that I could persuade him differently just by sleeping with him. But in a nutshell, that’s what I’d done. I’d thought that if he could just get an idea of how good we were together, he’d see that it wasn’t so bad—that he could still be with me and study—that I wasn’t the horrid distraction he thought me to be.
A shiver ran through my body as I remembered the feeling of him on top of me. That was at least one thing I’d been right about. The memory I had of that moment was freaking unbelievable, but now that I had it, I wasn’t so sure it was a good thing. It was just a constant reminder of something I didn’t think I’d ever be able to match. It was a form of torture disguised as pleasure.
Sighing, I turned past the playground and shook my head. This was it for me. I’d had enough of guys and their freaking dramas. And they said women were drama queens. Right now, I begged to differ.
As I ducked under a hanging branch, I glanced across the park and frowned, my steps slowing as I moved. Halfway across the park, sitting on a bench with his head hanging low, was Wyatt.
Coming to a complete stop, I chewed on my lip, indecision niggling in my gut. One part of me was telling me to look away and keep walking, but the other had so many questions she wanted answered, it was practically driving her insane.
Narrowing my eyes, I sucked in a breath full of bad-assery. I was tired of carefully treading around everyone else. If I had questions I wanted to ask, then I was damn well going to go ask some freaking questions.
Hoisting my bag higher on my shoulder, I started striding across the grass. I had no idea exactly what I wanted to achieve doing this just yet, but I was sure I’d figure it out when I got there.
Wyatt glanced up as I approached, his eyes flashing with surprise, but that wasn’t what caught my attention. That would’ve been the large purplish bruise on his cheekbone. “That doesn’t look good,” I said, deciding to address the elephant in the room before anything else.
His gaze turned sullen. “Nice to see you too, Jess.”
I sighed before climbing up to sit beside him. “I haven’t decided if it’s nice to see you yet. I’ll let you know as soon as I do.”
He rolled his eyes, but there was a kindness in them that hadn’t been there before. Letting out a soft laugh, he shook his head. “That was one thing I liked about you, Jess. You always told it how it was.”
“Oh, wow,” I said, nudging him with my shoulder. “There was only one thing you liked about me?”
He shook his head again, but the corner of his lip curled up with it. “You’re impossible. What are you doing here?”
I inhaled deeply as I thought about my family. “Just walking home from Mom’s. It’s Bianca’s birthday today.” He’d never met Bianca, but he’d heard me speak of her quite a lot.
“Ah, I see,” he said, lifting his head with understanding.
We sat in silence for a little while, the both of us contemplating life or some crap like that. After a while he turned his head on the side and smirked. “Just go ahead and ask. I know you’re dying to.”
I deadpanned him before raising an eyebrow. “Dude, I’ve got a million questions for you. Where do you want me to start?” I laughed, but then I looked over the bruising on his face and the sullenness returned. “What happened?” I asked.
“This,” he said, pointing to his cheek, “was what happened when my father heard the rumors about me and Zac.”
I tried not to react, but it was hard not to. “He hit you?”
Wyatt shrugged. “It wasn’t anything I didn’t expect.”
I shook my head, my eyes wide with disbelief. His own father gave him a black eye because he liked guys? I didn’t realize people were still so close-minded. “So, what now? I mean, God, I don’t even know where you’re at to know what to ask.” I screwed my eyes shut with a long blink before meeting his gaze again. “I feel rude asking, but I think if anyone has a right to know, it’s me. Are you gay, Wyatt? Or is it a bi thing? What?”
He looked out across the park, his expression so sad it bordered on depression. “You know, I’ve never actually said it out loud before,” he said, turning to gaze at me. “But, I guess it’s time to be honest. Yes, I’m gay.” His brow twitched with concern as he glanced down at the grass.
“Why?” I said, my eyes begging for a reason. “If you don’t really like girls, why were you with me, Wyatt?”
The breath he released was full of pain. “I’m really sorry if I hurt you, Jess. It was never my intention. I was so caught up in trying to have the perfect image, I didn’t think about what that meant for you. I thought I could provide a future for you that you’d love—give you everything you wanted, but I can see now that it never would’ve worked. You deserve more than that.”
I wanted to scream. Why did I have all these guys telling me that I deserved all these amazing things, but none of them were willing to give it to me? Letting out a deep huff, I tried to let it go. “So, are you . . . out of the closet now?”
He shrugged. “Not intentionally, but I guess I am. Zac saw to that.”
“Are you still seeing Zac?”
Wyatt’s gaze narrowed. “Hell, no. He fucked that the minute he decided what was best for me. But even if that didn’t concern me, he drugged you, Jess.” He shook his head with disbelief. “I still can’t believe he could do something like that. He could’ve killed you.”
Adrenaline surged through my veins. That was the one thing that taunted me the most. The reason why. “Why did he do it? I mean, he didn’t want to do anything to me, did he?”
Wyatt’s eyebrows twitched upward. “God, no. Zac’s as gay as they come. I don’t think he’s even seen a vagina, to be honest.”
“Then why?”
I watched his lips press together sourly. “He hasn’t actually told me why, but in the weeks leading up to that night, he was getting irritated by the lack of time we were spending together. He didn’t understand why I was going to so much trouble to make you happy. He kept pressing me to ditch you so we could see each other. I don’t know. I think he thought that if you were knocked out, we could do whatever we wanted and you’d be none the wiser. He was a fool. We both were.”
“Yeah,” I said, letting my shoulders drop with a sigh. “That makes three of us.”
Chapter 38
Eli
Tension hung in the air like a cloud of colorless poison. As I stood at the dinner table, my knuckles turning white as my hands clenched the back of a chair, I stared down at Noah’s drained expression. “How the hell did he get out on bail?” I demanded. I was about ready to snap something, I was that wound up.
Noah’s jaw ticked. “You’re the fucking lawyer. You tell me. My job is to catch them, Eli. That’s it. The rest is up to the system.”
Shoving the chair, I took a step back. “Has anyone bothered to tell Jess?”
He pressed his lips together. “As far as I know, Walt was sending someone around there later today.”
My eyes all but bugged out of my head. “Later today! Are you fucking serious right now? You sit here and tell me that Zac—the guy who was caught on CCTV slipping a date rape drug into Jess’s drink—has been seen loitering around Jess’s apartment, and you think someone might be going around there later today? What about now, Noah? What’s going to protect her now? At least if she knew he was hanging around, she could make sure she stayed inside and locked the fucking doors.”
Adam stepped forward. “Just calm down, Eli. Yelling isn’t going to solve any fucking problems right now.”
Throwing my hand up in the air, I turned in exasperation. “Fuck off,” I said, my gaze swinging to the both of them. “If it were Kaeli or Kara, you’d be fucking worse than I am right now. You certainly wouldn’t be sitting here. You’d already be on your way there. In fact,” I
said, grabbing my keys off the table, “that’s a fine fucking idea.”
Adam shook his head and took another step forward. “You’re not going anywhere, Eli. Sit the fuck down.”
My blood was starting to boil. “Who’s going to stop me, Adam? You?”
Isaac stepped into the room from the side door, Micah behind him. “That would probably be me,” he said, leveling me with a pissed-off glare.
Rubbing my hand over my mouth, I turned and threw my keys at the wall, the impact making an instant hole in the drywall. “Fuck!”
“What the hell is going on!” Mom said, storming into the room, her eyes wild with authority.
No one spoke. We all just glared at each other. Well, they were all glaring at me. I was taking turns glaring at each of them.
“I asked a goddamn question!” Mom roared. “So, someone better tell me right now, or shit’s going to get ugly!”
I stared down at Noah, barely able to unlock my clenched teeth, and narrowed my eyes. “It’s your choice, little brother. Either one of you goes to see Jess now, or I do. And seeing as you’re all so adamant that I don’t go, I suggest someone picks up some fucking keys right now and starts walking out that fucking door, or Mom’s going to lose her shit over the things I’m about to break.”
“Eli James Murphy!” Mom scolded. “I don’t care how old you are, or how big you are, I will still put you over my goddamn knee!”
I didn’t take my eyes off Noah as Mom ranted. They weren’t just words to me. I was dead serious, and he knew it. A few moments later, he nodded. Just one swift tilt of his head, but it helped me take a slightly calming breath.
“All right,” he said. “Adam and I will go now. You’ll stay here with Isaac.”
I sneered at him before I swung my gaze out the window. “I don’t need a babysitter.”
Adam picked up his keys and pocketed his phone. “Apparently, you do.”
As they both made their way toward the front door, Mom threw her hands in the air. “Am I freaking invisible now? What the hell is going on?”