From the Heart: A Valentine's Day Anthology
Page 12
“I know exactly how you feel, Dexter. I’m trapped as well,” Aria told him, and her thoughts immediately went to her husband. “Me and Brad met when he was just an assistant working for minimum wage. He could barely afford to buy me a cup of coffee, but I’d take that instant powdered stuff over the ridiculous junk he feels the need to have now.” She wanted to kick herself for having given away that she was married to one of the managers in Dexter’s record label, and could see him pull away the instant he’d realised who she was. “Don’t do that,” she whispered, shaking her head. “Don’t you dare pigeonhole me when you know as well as I do that we both came up here for the same reason.”
“I’m sorry, I guess I was just worried you might say something to him. I mean—it’s not just that he’s one of the managers at the agency, he’s actually my manager,” Dexter told her, and she burst out laughing.
“Shit, you’re in trouble now,” she joked, and he grinned.
Dexter leaned his head back against the wall and watched the stars. A thousand memories seemed to fly across his mind, and he frowned.
“Trouble sounds good right about now. Anything would be better than empty.” His voice had turned wistful again, and she followed his gaze up towards the heavens.
“What star sign are you?” Aria asked, making him laugh. “Come on, they’re real! I’m a Leo,” she said, lifting her hand to point to the constellation that represented her sign, and Dexter stared at her.
“Virgo,” he whispered, leaning closer and taking her hand in his so she could trace the stars with his. “Show me?” he asked when he was close. Aria began drawing invisible lines in the darkness, and she trembled—but not from the cool night air. His breath fluttered along her cheek while their bodies pressed against each other’s, and his hand in hers suddenly felt wrong.
“If you’re a Virgo, trouble should be far from your mind,” Aria replied, dropping her hand into her lap, but Dexter kept hold of it. His eyes found hers in the darkness and they stared at one another for a while, before he leaned closer and laid a soft kiss on her cheek. She suddenly felt more alive than she had in months, but knew she was playing a dangerous game if she let his affection break through her steely resolve.
“I like trouble. It’s the same as flying away, and all about the thrill. I’m just trying to find what keeps me real, Aria. Aren’t you?” he asked, making her blush, but she simply smiled and shook her head.
“Not tonight, and certainly not with pop-stars on rooftops,” she retorted, climbing up, and she grabbed her bag.
“Then tell me this, why isn’t your husband up here with you? Shouldn’t he be the one keeping you grounded and stopping you from flying away?” Aria cringed. He’d seemed to turn on her in an instant, and it took her aback.
“Stop it, Dexter. You don’t know me, and you don’t know Brad. You have no idea who I am or the life I live,” she told him, and hated that he’d turned cold so fast.
“Don’t you get it?” he insisted, standing beside her and leaning in close. Aria knew she should pull away, but couldn’t. She didn’t want to. “I know you better than you think I do, maybe even better than you know yourself.” A warm hand stroked her still flushed cheek. “It’s the same for me. I’ve never shown anyone the person I’ve shown you tonight, but I’m not scared. I want you to see the true me, because with you I’m not afraid to be that person…to be real.”
Aria shook her head, this wasn’t who she was, and she was not about to let some drunken pop-star try and add her to his list of conquests. She laughed loudly and stepped away.
“You almost had me fooled there, Dexter. Nice game you’re playing, but the answer is no. I’m tired, and going back inside, but it was nice meeting you,” she dismissed him as best she could without giving away how much it hurt to have been fooled into almost betraying her husband’s trust.
“No, that’s not it. I’m just being a pushy fool. Please don’t go away thinking I’m a player, I couldn’t bear it,” he begged, and Aria softened when she peered into his pleading eyes again. He seemed genuine, but she couldn’t know for sure. She could only trust one thing, and that was the man she’d witnessed in pain earlier on. As far as he’d known, he’d had no audience. His words and his agony weren’t a show for anyone’s benefit, and he’d genuinely been hurting, and beautiful.
“I could never be angry with you,” she replied. “But don’t ever put on that façade with me again. If we’re going to be friends, I only want to see the real you, never the fake version. If he’s around, I’m not—deal?”
“Deal,” he said, and Aria could tell that he was grateful she hadn’t believed his front. She figured he found it hard to let the real him show, and knew herself how much easier it was to slip back into the guise of closed-off ice queen, or in his case, heartless pop icon.
After a few grumbled attempts to make her stay, Dexter finally let her leave, but only after she’d given him her number. She knew she shouldn’t have, but was sure that once Dexter was sober and had found himself in bed with a groupie or two, he’d quickly forget all about the lost girl on the rooftop.
Liaisons like theirs weren’t something you wanted reminding of when your head was clear again, but she was glad to have met him, and having gotten to know him during that short while. Dexter had helped her fly away, even if it’d only lasted a couple of hours.
Hey, tell me your favourite colour, food, and place. I’ll write you a poem.
Dexter’s first text message read, and Aria grinned, but shook her head. She’d only just left the terrace and was in the bathroom, and she hadn’t even found her husband yet.
What? Go get yourself a drink, or a distraction. I need some sleep.
Aria replied, giving her windswept hair a quick brush before stepping out into the party to locate Brad.
“Hey babe, you having fun?” he asked when she joined him, and Aria nodded. She knew he’d had no idea where she’d been the past few hours, and wondered if he even cared. Being the dutiful wife, she didn’t want to make a scene, so simply accepted a glass of champagne without a fuss. She chatted about everything and nothing with Brad and his friends for a while in an attempt to enjoy the party, but her mind kept going back to her time on that rooftop. Part of her wanted to climb back up there and see if Dexter was still hiding out away from the party, but the temptation to let him in was too strong, and she wrestled internally with what she should do about the connection she’d made with the last type of man she ever thought she could relate to. Famous pop-stars weren’t usually the sort of guy a level-headed young woman fell for. They were fun for a fantasy or a one-night-stand, but not long-term, and she had to laugh at herself for even thinking for a moment that what they’d instigated on that rooftop might end up becoming more than a flitting moment of harmless fun.
When she hit the ladies room again, she checked her phone. Aria was pleasantly surprised to find a reply from her new friend.
She stood up on the roof, dressed in blue and red. When I asked her to stay, she just wanted her bed. Oh, when will we be free to fly in the sky? I don’t know when, but I hope she loves pie.
Aria burst out laughing when she read Dexter’s so-called poem, and found herself grinning from ear to ear as she left the small room. There was no time to reply, but she caught her new friend watching her from across the room, and quickly sent him a smiley-faced emoticon.
Brad intercepted her on her way back to the bar, and informed her they were leaving. As always, she did as she was told, and before long Aria and her husband were on their way home in a taxi.
London had been their home for a few years, and although she loved it, the taxi journeys were always scary—more like a thrill-ride than safe passage across the bustling city. She ended up on her husband’s lap after a sharp turning, and found herself peering down into his deep brown eyes with a smile. Dexter’s face flitted across her mind, and she blushed when she remembered the way he’d kissed her cheek softly. He’s just a friend, she reminded herself, over a
nd over again.
“I want you tonight, babe,” Brad whispered, pulling her in for a kiss, and Aria let him. Since the miscarriage, they’d barely touched one another, but she’d actually had some fun tonight, albeit thanks to another man’s attention, and she felt better than she had in months. Aria was relaxed and cheery thanks to Dexter’s kindness, and the silly poem that was still rattling around in her skull, making her smile uncontrollably.
When they reached their flat, Aria took her husband’s hand and led him straight into their bedroom, where they made love for the first time in months.
***
The next morning, she woke to find Brad gone. He was back to his usual routine of heading out for an early morning jog and then into work for his twelve-hour day. She knew she’d be lucky to see him at all over the next few days with his busy schedule, but this had just become the norm for them the past few years since he’d made it big in the music business. She still loved him, but Aria knew she was holding on to the old version of himself that Brad used to be.
He wasn’t the same man anymore; the guy who took bubble baths with her, or whose idea of a treat was pizza and a movie. He was too busy for anything other than his work, and she’d known for a long time that she had to fit in with him or leave. There was no point demanding his time or attention. While she loved her life, Aria often felt bored and lonely. Brad wouldn’t let her work, saying that he made more than enough money for them both, and that he liked for her to stay at home. She hadn’t minded at all when she’d fallen pregnant. Having a baby to care for would’ve been a welcome fulfilment to her day, but now that was gone, too.
She was back to the same old routine of coffee with the girls, or shopping with Brad’s sister, Sofia. She was married to one of Brad’s clients; a musician high up in the classical theatre circuit named Rodrigo, and she loved nothing more than spending his money on lavish gifts for herself and their sons. That wasn’t who Aria wanted to be though, or the life she would’ve chosen to have, but it seemed like Brad wanted exactly that existence for her. She often wondered just how shallow he might’ve become over the years, and it saddened her every time.
Were you laughing at my poem? That made me sad. Aria found a new text message waiting for her when she climbed out of the shower.
It actually made me laugh because it was simply too good. I’m no songwriter, but I think you have some talent. She hit send on her reply, grinning from ear to ear.
An entire conversation quickly ensued, and before Aria knew it she’d whiled away the better half of her morning messaging back and forth with Dexter. She told herself they were just friends, that they’d connected and bonded over their weaknesses, and having caught each other in their vulnerable moments on that rooftop. That had to be it. Men like Dexter didn’t have girl friends, they had booty calls and conquests, and Aria wouldn’t let herself trust the nice-guy routine and become either of those. Friends would do nicely.
Part of her wondered if he was stringing her along simply because she screamed of ‘lonely housewife.’ All the other girls Dexter must come across had to be screaming fans throwing themselves at him and his band mates, and he probably never bothered to get to know them other than intimately. Aria had never screamed and shouted, or fawned over the celebrities she’d met. Even though Brad represented some of the biggest names in the music industry, she’d always treated them as nothing more than normal, human beings. That’s what they were at the end of it all, and anyone who wanted treating otherwise wasn’t worth her time or effort.
Brad had told her off more than once for being rude to one of his acts, but she wasn’t about to pander to anyone, especially not extreme fuss-pots who invited themselves into her home and then proceeded to scrutinise every choice of decoration and colour they’d used. That exact scenario had happened just a few weeks before, and she’d fought hard to bite her tongue when the snobby soloist had graced them with her presence.
Aria stood at the kitchen counter, stirring her tea, and her phone started to ring. She almost didn’t answer, but curiosity got the better of her.
“Hey, please tell me you haven’t come up with another one of your amazing poems?” she teased, answering the call with a smile.
“Nah, I’m saving the good stuff for when I write you a song,” Dexter’s hoarse voice came through the phone line, and she felt her cheeks burn uncontrollably. “You wanna come out with me and the guys for a bit? We’re heading to a bowling alley near our place. We always have to rent out the whole place ‘cos the fans end up following us in, so there’s plenty of free lanes if you want to come?”
Aria thought it over, and while it sounded fun, she knew she should say no. Brad wouldn’t like her hanging around with one of his clients without him present. In fact, he wouldn’t like her having made friends with Dexter at all. But, in the end, she figured—why not? Brad wouldn’t be home for hours, and she had nothing better to do, so agreed. Dexter seemed thrilled, and gave her the address, promising to pay for her taxi when she arrived.
“Don’t be silly, I’ll just see you there in a bit,” she told him, but appreciated his chivalry. Aria quickly deleted her call log and messages, and then changed the contact name to ‘Dee’ in the hopes that if Brad ever saw it he wouldn’t bother asking any questions. He might’ve pushed her aside for his work for a long time, but Bradley Harper was still an incredibly possessive man. She knew the deceit was wrong, and that if he knew the truth about her friendship with Dexter he’d be furious, but she ultimately didn’t care.
Just as she was about to leave though, Aria’s phone rang again. It was Brad.
“Hey, babe. I’m on my way home. I need to pick up some promos I left for the gig tonight. You wanna come?” he offered, and Aria paled. She immediately slid her bag from her shoulder, and her stomach dropped.
“Of course, that’d be lovely,” she replied in forceful cheeriness. Aria removed her coat when she’d ended the call. It was karma, it had to be. Although she hadn’t cheated, surely this was a sign that she needed to back away from the temptation that was Dexter Fray. What were you thinking? she chastised herself, and quickly set about tidying up in readiness for her husband’s return.
When Brad came in twenty minutes later, she had her slippers on and was settled in her favourite armchair with a magazine and a cup of coffee. He leaned down and gave her a gentle yet urgent kiss.
“Last night was amazing. I’m glad we’re back on track,” he said, sliding between her legs and pressing himself into her. “I think I can get away with being a little late,” he whispered, taking her hand and looking over at the bedroom, and Aria climbed up out of her seat. She let herself enjoy his attention, and proved to herself just how in love she was with Brad—forcing all thoughts of Dexter from her mind.
***
I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to bowling. Something came up, but I think it’s for the best. Being friends isn’t appropriate. Aria texted Dexter later that night. She was stood in the VIP area at a huge stadium venue Brad had taken her to for his clients’ gig, but couldn’t concentrate on the music. All she could think about was how she’d let Dexter down, and felt terrible for standing him up.
She didn’t hear back from him, and knew he must be furious with her, but tried hard to convince herself it really was for the best. Her stomach churned in angst, and she felt sick. Even after just a few hours of knowing Dexter, her heart ached thinking she might’ve lost him.
When days passed without a single message, Aria finally accepted she’d done the wrong thing. She could barely sleep, and kept flying off the handle over the smallest thing. By the end of the following week, she was a mess. Luckily, Brad was out of town for a few days so didn’t see the state she’d gotten herself into, and she’d hid it well when he’d called to check in.
Eventually, she’d had enough of wallowing in her sadness. She picked up her phone, and she rang Dexter’s number.
“Hey,” was all he said, and just going by his tone, Aria could tell she was t
alking to ‘fake’ Dexter.
“Hey. How are you?” she asked, trying to sound calm, but the sound of his voice had sent her mind racing again. “I really am sorry about last week. Brad came home and I didn’t have time to message you until later,” she explained.
“It’s okay, you were right. I shouldn’t have asked you to come. You’re married to my manager for Christ’s sake. It wouldn’t look good us hanging out. Take it easy, Aria. I hope you find what you’re looking for,” he replied, hanging up on her.
Tears fell uncontrollably and she was sure her heart was breaking. As much as she’d told herself not to feel anything for him, she hadn’t been able to stop herself developing a serious crush on Dexter Fray. When her phone rang seconds later, she almost ignored it, but then saw the name ‘Dee’ on the screen and couldn’t stop from hitting the answer button.
No words formed on her lips, but her tears were loud and clear, and Dexter sighed. She heard him groan and sniff, whether from a cold or from tears of his own, she couldn’t be sure. Her voice was still lost to her, but he didn’t seem to want her words.
They just listened to one another for a while as she tried to pull herself back together. “Spread your wings and fly. Fly away with me. Help me soar, let me be the sun on your face and the one you adore. Spread your wings and fly to me.”
The soft, soothing sound of Dexter singing down the phone to her made her weep harder, but Aria loved every delicate syllable. She adored his song more than she could’ve ever imagined, and appreciated the lyrics more than any practised sonnet or lovey-dovey card Brad had ever given her back when they were still dating.
“Why do you have to be so amazing?” she asked, grabbing tissue after tissue from the box beside her.
“I’m trying not to be that guy, the one who tries it on with married women. I’ll take being a friend over nothing at all, Bluebird. Just let me cheer you up,” he replied, his voice hoarse and deep. “One day you might fly away. Not today, not tomorrow, but one day. When that day comes, we’ll fly away together. I’m sorry I was such a fool, but I told you I would be.” He laughed, and each gentle chuckle sent shivers down her spine.